How to keep pee warm for 4 hours PLEASE HELP

[Emenderman]

First off want to thank all the mods and informed posters here, you guys are awesome. And also those who are kind enough to post their experiences. What a bunch of bs to have to go through this, but nonetheless I have to.


Ok, so I smoked just a few days ago, and generally am a regular smoker (1/8 week). So there is no way i'm using my piss for the test. Test is in 2 days, FYI. Urinalysis, at Labcorp. Pre-employment.

So after reading through these forums over and over again, at first I thought dilution was best, now I'm def going with substitution, as it appears really solid.

My catch is this: I'm going to have to drive 3 1/2 hours to get the clean pee, then 3 1/2 hours back to Miami to take the test.

Whats the best way for me to keep the pee the right temp on the drive back? I'll have a digital thermometer to test it during the drive back. Can I have him pee in a clean shampoo bottle then transfer to the condom before I go in?

Any adivce would be helpful!!! THanks... Burnt Toast where you at?

[Soapbottles]

Will you be returning to your home before going to the facility for your drug test? If so you could put it in a cooler to keep it cold until you get home. Then microwave it for 15-30 seconds until its about 100 degrees F. Then you can crotch it and your body will maintain it at a 90-100 degree F temperature. If you're also worried you can use those hot hands people use in their gloves in the winter time. You can buy them at Wal-mart in the camping section for under a dollar.

To summarize if it was me:

1.) I would try to put it in a cooler immediately.

2.) Return home and microwave it to the appropriate temperature.

3.) Put it into a 3 oz shampoo bottle (you can buy empty ones at Wal-Greens for cheap).

4.) Crotch it and use a hot hands until you are in the facility parking lot. Then remove the hot hands before entering the facility.

5.) Drink plenty of water so you have a good long void so you can mask the noise of you pouring the clean sample into the cup. Also don't forget to pour a little into the toilet to give the toilet bowl some color.

6.) Finally, measure the temperature to make sure it's correct. Also, try to find a digital thermometer that doesn't beep. I found one on Amazon. The brand is called Kaz and it was around 5$.

That's my opinion though, I hope it works out for you.

[Emenderman]

Thanks Soapbottles!

Ok so update, I can actually get clean pee here local before the test, so I plan on basically driving straight from my clean-pee friend's house to the testing site, about 20-30 min drive. I'm thinking I'll keep it on the dashboard with the defrost pumping heat intermittently, while taking the temperature every 10 mins or so.

Also I'm not sure what you mean by have a nice long void... you mean pee in the toilet at the same time I'm pouring the clean pee into the testing container? I'm going to follow the dilute method as a backup btw, just in case something goes wrong with the sub pee. Although that would be a nightmare, this is my career/life on the line here!! I'm so nervous I can barely eat/sleep/exist.

I would ideally like to find a thermometer that doesn't beep in walmart or walgreens or something, as I dont really have time to order anything online, anybody have any luck with any other brands?

Also -- are you sure I can microwave it? I read on here that hot water or coffee will work well, seems like microwave might damage the holy pee?

I may not want to whip out the thermometer at the testing site, and as long as I don't wait too long to pee I think it'll stay warm in my gouch?

[Soapbottles]

Glad you worked out a better solution for getting clean urine. I've heard putting it on your dashboard with the defrost is another great method of ensuring the sample will stay the correct temperature. So you shouldn't have any worries there.

Yes, at some test labs they will listen in on you while you urinate. Although this is more associated with probation, I wouldn't chance it by making loud noises while making the transfer, thus, why an actual piss will do the trick for masking the sneakiness you're about to unleash. Since you're also going in with the dilution method as a backup, you should have no problem producing enough background noise.

Microwaving it will do no harm to the the sample, but using hot water or coffee are also great alternatives. You can't go wrong either way, and honestly like you said if you're keeping in your "gouch" it should remain the appropriate temperature regardless if you're measuring it.

Most of all, practice and show confidence! You got this. No worries.

[Burnt Toast]

Thats right. Microwaving will not affect human urine, but I still wouldnt recommended it because human urine is bio-hazardous and shoudnt be in an area where food and utensils are involved.

Digital thermometers are not really necessary. Most chain pharmacy stores carry "stick-on" type baby forehead temp strips - which are essentially the same as the temp strips used at the collection facilities. While the strips may not be as accurate to the "nth" degree as the digital units, they are obviously accurate enough to merit continued use by the facilities.

Just sitck a temp strip on the bottle and thats one less item that you have to sneak into the facility.

[Emenderman]

Actually I think I'm gonna go ahead and get the urinator, to put this temperature thing to rest.

I figure hell, it's a good investment, considering I'll be taking a big pay raise with this job! I'm sure I could keep in warm in my gouch, but I'm not gonna chance it. Plus, with the urinator it seems a little simpler... just pee straight from there, no noise and no waste to hide, and no chance of spilling pee out of the condom!

Thanks guys. I'll post my results

[FreddieFreeloader]

Go to Walmart in the hunting section and find the hand warmer and foot warmer foil wrapped packs. Just a couple bucks. They last a few hours and are air activated when you open the package. Normally you put them in your boots or gloves to help keep your hands and feet warm but you can just use a rubber band and wrap it around your specimen. You also can make your own delivery system if you have access to medical supplies. IV bag with exit tube attached works and clamp on end works.

[cannachriss]

Actually I think I'm gonna go ahead and get the urinator, to put this temperature thing to rest.

I figure hell, it's a good investment, considering I'll be taking a big pay raise with this job! I'm sure I could keep in warm in my gouch, but I'm not gonna chance it. Plus, with the urinator it seems a little simpler... just pee straight from there, no noise and no waste to hide, and no chance of spilling pee out of the condom!

Thanks guys. I'll post my results


Just curious as to if you passed. I'm going to take my pre employment DT today and am looking for confidence boosters. I found a friend with clean piss so I don't have to use the quick fix I bought. I should hopefully be taking my test within a couple hours of getting the sample.

[Burnt Toast]

Just curious as to if you passed. I'm going to take my pre employment DT today and am looking for confidence boosters. I found a friend with clean piss so I don't have to use the quick fix I bought. I should hopefully be taking my test within a couple hours of getting the sample. As long as your friend is indeed drug-free and had not consumed a large amount of fluids prior to giving you the sub sample, you have nothing to worry about. Just be sure the sample is submitted at the proper temp range of 90-100F.

[D!$k Nasty]

I have subbed before successfully. I have used a thin plastic pouch with surgical tubing though. Your going to use a bottle. If you get a quality ziplock bag(so it doesnt spill) microwave your sample for ten seconds, stick it in the ziplock bag, put it down your pants(or tape it around your waist, right above your hips, where your pubes start) check the temp half way through the drive, u should be good to go! Easy Breezy, Japanesey!