Drug test for government contractor monitored?

[barneygumble]

I have a potential job starting next month. I've quit smoking already but I've been a daily smoker for years and may not have time to clear my system even if I abstain completely. The job is with a government contractor that works for the Department of Homeland Security. I've got Quick Fix on hand in case of pre-employment testing, but this being a government contractor I'm not sure I'll be able to use the substitution method. I know that monitoring (someone watching urine come out of your penis) normally only happens in cases of active military, probation, parole, and drug/DUI court. My question is, can government contractors that require you to have secret security clearance also monitor drug tests or will substitution work?

I expect a pre-employment test and randoms, but as long as no one's watching, Quick Fix should do the job. However, I personally know someone who worked at a drug lab and caught an offender using the Whizzinator so I don't trust it. If I want this, abstinence may be my only option and since I've been "underemployed" for years now, I really want this job! Any help or advice is greatly appreciated.

[growhand420]

they will probly tell you to keepthe door open but they want watch it come out of your penis but you could try to make a fake dick just in case
step one get a realalistic dildo and send a rod through it
step two get a bag and attach it it to a hose and send the hose through the dildo
step three get some hand warmers and keep that pee warm until the test and dont forget to find a way to cap the dildo until use

[keyhole1]

You will not be "monitored" for this test. However if you screw it up in any way, ie off temp, lack of bubbles and smell you will have to immediately have to try again with someone watching and they will also search you for apparatus's. So, don't mess it up and you'll be fine!

[barneygumble]

You will not be "monitored" for this test. However if you screw it up in any way, ie off temp, lack of bubbles and smell you will have to immediately have to try again with someone watching and they will also search you for apparatus's. So, don't mess it up and you'll be fine!Quick Fix doesn't have an odor. Will it bubble when I pour it into the cup? I've been practicing with the temperature to be sure I get it right, but I don't know how to make it smell like piss, much less who would want the job of sniffing it!

[barneygumble]

You will not be "monitored" for this test. However if you screw it up in any way, ie off temp, lack of bubbles and smell you will have to immediately have to try again with someone watching and they will also search you for apparatus's. So, don't mess it up and you'll be fine!
By the way, have you worked for a government contractor before? Just wondering how you know. Sorry to be so nosy, just worried about my future here :)

[barneygumble]

Oh, and they do well over $50,000 in work for the government so they'll be subject to the Drug Free Workplace stuff. Don't know if that makes a difference or not.

[Burnt Toast]

I know that monitoring (someone watching urine come out of your penis) normally only happens in cases of active military, probation, parole, and drug/DUI court.This is not known as a "monitored" collection. This is known as a "directly observed" collection.

"Monitored collection" and "directly observed collection" are two different situations. A "monitored" collection occurs in situations where water sources cannot be secured to deter tampering (ie; multi-stall bathroom, or if the facility is an ancient building with only one shutoff valve - the water main to the facility). A monitor is assigned to keep others from entering the bathroom (multi-stall) and to deter the use of unsecured water sources. The monitor is not to be inside the bathroom stall with the donor.

In a "directly observed" collection, an observer (of the same gender) is inside the bathroom stall and in adherence to established protocol, directly watch the flow of urine exit the donors body and into the specimen cup. In employment-related situations, D/O collections are performed if the donor is suspected of tampering, or if its a "Follow up/ Return to Duty" test.

[barneygumble]

This is not known as a "monitored" collection. This is known as a "directly observed" collection.

"Monitored collection" and "directly observed collection" are two different situations. A "monitored" collection occurs in situations where water sources cannot be secured to deter tampering (ie; multi-stall bathroom, or if the facility is an ancient building with only one shutoff valve - the water main to the facility). A monitor is assigned to keep others from entering the bathroom (multi-stall) and to deter the use of unsecured water sources. The monitor is not to be inside the bathroom stall with the donor.

In a "directly observed" collection, an observer (of the same gender) is inside the bathroom stall and in adherence to established protocol, directly watch the flow of urine exit the donors body and into the specimen cup. In employment-related situations, D/O collections are performed if the donor is suspected of tampering, or if its a "Follow up/ Return to Duty" test.
Thanks for the clarification, BT. So since this is my first pre-employment test the likelihood of it being directly observed is slim to nil? Is that correct? Unless I get caught using a substitute they have no reason to suspect me of tampering. Only if the bottle falls down my pant leg when I walk in the door are they likely to do a directly observed collection. Assuming I get into the stall with it safely, I'm good to go, right?