Lost in love

[KingOfTheRodeo]

So i guess this is the best place to post this.

I feel comfortable around you guy and gals because for the most part we have similar interest and all that jazz. And seeing as how i don't have a "strong" father figure and my mom is a great mom but she is a mom so you know she will give me mom advice.

So here is my situation:

It all started when I went to my first year of college last year (away from home), and i met this girl. At first she didn't really talk to me (i'm an awkward guy, thanks dad for that gene) and eventually we became best friends. Mean while all of our other friends (which were guys) were trying to hook up with her and what not. As for me i kind of told myself that she is like my sister so i thought i would never have feelings strong than that. But with my luck i fell head over heels for this girl. I have had my fair share of girlfriends and a few actual serious relationships. But i have never in my life felt this way about a girl. I love listening to her talk, i love her family and her family loves me, she smokes. She is the first girl that i have ever been attracted to her personality before her looks (not saying she isn't pretty, because she enchanting).Basically she is the perfect girl. The only problem is she only sees me like a brother.....

Now back to the present, i moved back home due to money issues with college. And i can't get her out of mind. A day honestly doesn't go by where she doesn't go through my mind. She found out from whom i thought was a trustworthy friend how i felt and it put a strain on our friendship for awhile but i think we got past it. And i basically said i know you don't feel the same way and i rather have you as my best friend then not in my life at all.

The only problem is i don't know how to deal with this emotionally. For the most part i'm fine, but there are days like today where i almost break down in tears. How do you cope when someone you love doesn't love you back?

Sorry this was long and any advice would be nice.

[BlueBlazer]

How do you cope when someone you love doesn't love you back?

You move on, live, and wait. When you're young, it seems like that will be your only love. It won't . . . trust me.

The worst thing you can do is torture yourself over it. If you're listening to sappy love songs, stop it right now.

my :twocents:

[gypski]

Take it from Hef, he's 84 and shagging 23 year olds!!! Don't give up hope!!! :lol5:

Playboy's Hugh Hefner Engaged to Playmate Crystal Harris (http://www.aolnews.com/2010/12/26/playboys-hugh-hefner-engaged-to-playmate-crystal-harris/?icid=main|netscape|dl1|sec3_lnk3|192108)

[LetsSeeYa]

So i guess this is the best place to post this.

I feel comfortable around you guy and gals because for the most part we have similar interest and all that jazz. And seeing as how i don't have a "strong" father figure and my mom is a great mom but she is a mom so you know she will give me mom advice.

So here is my situation:

It all started when I went to my first year of college last year (away from home), and i met this girl. At first she didn't really talk to me (i'm an awkward guy, thanks dad for that gene) and eventually we became best friends. Mean while all of our other friends (which were guys) were trying to hook up with her and what not. As for me i kind of told myself that she is like my sister so i thought i would never have feelings strong than that. But with my luck i fell head over heels for this girl. I have had my fair share of girlfriends and a few actual serious relationships. But i have never in my life felt this way about a girl. I love listening to her talk, i love her family and her family loves me, she smokes. She is the first girl that i have ever been attracted to her personality before her looks (not saying she isn't pretty, because she enchanting).Basically she is the perfect girl. The only problem is she only sees me like a brother.....

Now back to the present, i moved back home due to money issues with college. And i can't get her out of mind. A day honestly doesn't go by where she doesn't go through my mind. She found out from whom i thought was a trustworthy friend how i felt and it put a strain on our friendship for awhile but i think we got past it. And i basically said i know you don't feel the same way and i rather have you as my best friend then not in my life at all.

The only problem is i don't know how to deal with this emotionally. For the most part i'm fine, but there are days like today where i almost break down in tears. How do you cope when someone you love doesn't love you back?

Sorry this was long and any advice would be nice.


If i were you i would start to create some distance. Then miss calls, have people tell her your not home and dont return the calls. She may like you more then you think as if you were as comfortable as you say, im sure she was too, or she wouldn't want to still be friends. Same thing happen to me and i blew her off, two weeks later she begged i go to some friends with her, on the way home she drove out into the boonies and jumped on top of me. We dated a while. Cant say it will work like my experience, but life goes to fast to be hung up on a person your buddies with:wtf:



:rasta:

[KingOfTheRodeo]

If i were you i would start to create some distance. Then miss calls, have people tell her your not home and dont return the calls. She may like you more then you think as if you were as comfortable as you say, im sure she was too, or she wouldn't want to still be friends. Same thing happen to me and i blew her off, two weeks later she begged i go to some friends with her, on the way home she drove out into the boonies and jumped on top of me. We dated a while. Cant say it will work like my experience, but life goes to fast to be hung up on a person your buddies with:wtf:



:rasta:

Well there is plenty of distance, i'm 6 hours away from her. But i get what you guys are saying. I guess time is just the best medication for me aside from some stinky ganja.

But if anyone else has advice or wants to put their two cents in, go for it.

[HannahAbbot]

I'm going through a divorce currently, so I know a little how it feels when someone doesn't love you. (Little worse since they were supposed to have in the first place.)

If she's just not interested in a romantic relationship, then I wouldn't linger over the idea. You take it one day at a time. Focus on the positives in your life. Find them, no matter what. I don't care if the only thing you can be happy about is the feel of your bathwater on your skin, revel in it. Don't sit around thinking about her in a romantic way. Anytime you catch yourself doing so, distract yourself. Shift your attention to something that will make you happy. Eventually (it may take a long time, it may not) it'll get easier.

Look to the future and your goals in life. If you don't have any set up at the moment, make small goals and daydream about what you would really love to do. Don't stop daydreaming about that. Make up as many scenarios as possible and explore the ideas in your head. You'll figure out your way in life, sometimes it just feels like you're stuck in quicksand, but you can work your way out.

And remember that even though that one person might not be THE one, there are plenty of people out there that think you're hot and would love to spend time with you. So don't ever let your self esteem get low. It's not worth it to chop yourself down for those few people who judge you (or you think judge you). Everybody has those people so we might as well all ignore them and remember how ridiculously sexy we all are.

Maybe someday she'll figure out she does like you but you shouldn't be worrying about that. If you focus on yourself you'll come out of the other side of this process with a better understanding of yourself, your desires in life, and how strong you really are. Because I promise you're a lot stronger than you ever dreamed. And then you'll really be a true catch for some lucky lady.

Hope that was helpful and it was not intended to sound preachy at all...this is just definitely my life right now. Haha. I have found a lot of strength in myself recently that I didn't know I had.

Best wishes.