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pepurr
04-02-2010, 08:11 PM
I found this to be some what amusing.


Tips on how to get busted when smoking pot

3:32 pm November 2, 2009, by Steve Rose

On Saturday I came in to read police reports. I don??t normally do that on a Saturday, but I??m way behind and was out of town so, given the lousy weather, I decided to come in and catch up.
Here??s what I came away with:
A lot of people smoke pot. Yep, as if this is a surprise, it??s in fact true. Here??s a list of facts:
A lot of people smoke pot. We established that.
A lot of people smoke pot when other stuff happens.


Examples of ??other stuff happens?:

Domestic violence or other arguments where someone calls the police.
Loud parties.
Loud parties where the upstairs neighbors call the cops about the smell.
A lot of people smoke pot in their cars. (None of them get speeding tickets.) They do get tickets for the following:

Driving too slow
Driving with improper lane usage??later contributed to the driver trying to open the Twinkies wrapper.
Driving with improper lane usage??later contributed to intense head-banging to the CD.
Getting lost.
Getting lost again.
The reason we know that a lot of people smoke pot in the car is mostly due to the silly-stupid things they get into. First of all, don??t forget that regardless of your views, pot is illegal. That being said, when the cops pull your car over and find the ashtray full and the baggie on the console, you??re probably going to get charged with it. In some cases, the charges are left with a citation but most cases involve other things that lend the driver to a trip to jail.
We arrest a lot of people who were driving around, smoking pot, in a car with stolen tags or tags that have expired registration or no insurance. If you didn??t know, your tag says a lot about you. Insurance and any warrant info are on the tag registration. Knowing that, why smoke? The least you could do is warn the passengers that your tags are expired, you have no insurance, and your car is stolen. I??m sure they would want to know that before toking up. Talk about paranoid.


Pot is a material object. You can see it. The car is a material object and you can see that too. There is no magical invisible place inside the car. This includes the console, ashtray and under the driver??s or passenger??s seat. Once the probable cause is there, the cops are going to check further. Probable cause includes the piles of smoke that exit the window when you roll it down after being pulled over. I can tell you that in a given week, we probably have two dozen arrests in cars and apartments on small misdemeanor cases of marijuana possession because it was there to be seen.

A man called the police and reported that his friend stole his i-Pod. The officer walked in and found the man??s pot, scale and bong on the kitchen table. Fact: Pot makes you forget to do important things ?? like hiding your pot.
A man calls the police to report that his friend took his pot! No kidding.
Fact: Pot makes you think that dumb things are rational.

A man calls the police and asks when he can pick up his pot. He was arrested for public drunkenness and had a little pot on him at the time. He wasn??t charged with the pot. Fact: Pot makes dumb people dumber.
Several people who were in a car were arrested for underage possession of alcohol and possession of marijuana and related objects: bongs, pipes (the ceramic ones), one-hitters and several hits of Ecstasy. They were driving in one direction when they saw several cop cars with blue lights on down the road on a cross street. They turned onto the road going out of the way to see what they thought was an accident. It wasn??t an accident. It was a safety road-and-seat-belt check.
If you??re stopped and you??ve got pot on you, you might stay away from these well-worn excuses:
The Oregano Syndrome: Oregano is commonly used as a spice for food. It??s normally contained in a metal can or plastic container. It is almost never transported in plastic baggies and never has stems in it. Oregano smells like oregano and not like pot. Chefs never travel with unmarked oregano. Oregano is plentiful and there is little need to transport it.
??That??s Not Mine,? otherwise known as ??The Guy? reason: This is the guy who was in your car and left his pot in the seat. He doesn??t have a last name and the driver was just giving the guy a ride. He doesn??t know him well.
Astonishment Syndrome: The Astonishment Syndrome requires some acting and good luck with that ?? especially if you??re stoned. ??I have no idea where that came from!!!!? That also might be ??The Guy? who not only leaves it in your car, he plants it, too.
Look, just stay home. Life gives you enough paranoia. Why magnify it?

Unknownfigure
04-02-2010, 08:25 PM
a.k.a. Common Sense, Dont do stupid and/or risky shit ;)

This gave me a laugh, a recommended read for young smokers.

JohnnyZ
04-02-2010, 10:05 PM
Fact: Pot makes you think that dumb things are rational.

Incorrect. Pot makes dumb people think that the irrational things they do are, in fact, rational.

This is compliant with my belief that marijuana simply amplifies any characteristics you already possess. It won't make you a fat lazy asshole but if you like to sit on the couch and munch chips every couple nights, start smoking pot and that will turn into Hop Sing's being at number two on your speed dial, right after Domino's.

RedLocks
04-02-2010, 10:16 PM
heh laughing about the nobody gets speeding tickets thing.. Once I was driving up north where it isn't so Urban, roads make lots of twists and turns.. So I'm flying along doing like 65 in a 35 smoking a blunt, I look up as I take a pull on the L, and ohh shit cop lit up behind me.. So I mash out the blunt, eat that thing as I am rolling down the window..

So cop comes up to my car, tell me "you know how long I've been trying to catch up with you!?"

"nahh never knew I passed you sorry"

"well it has been about 2 miles"

"so sorry never saw you"

well I can't find my license, so I tell him I must have left it at home.. he tells me he is going to hook me up, only reason there was a speed trap is cause house wives calling in complaints so... no speeding ticket, just a no license in possession ticket (like 40bux and no points)

one of the nicer pigs I ever met...(found my license while he was writing the ticket up, he told me to shut up or I was getting the speeding ticket lol)

stickyWoman
04-02-2010, 10:35 PM
It's stories like the ones mentioned that make people think that all weed smokers are lazy / stupid / zoned out.

Still, some of the shit that happens to people is straight up funny.

Like calling the cops to complain that someone stole your pot...

BlueBlazer
04-02-2010, 10:53 PM
I agree that these busts are funny, but it is sad that folks who are not experienced take these examples as the norm.

I just wonder how often other drugs and/or alcohol are also present and in use.

redtails
04-02-2010, 11:08 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU6AVtQethw

Anyone heard this? Lol

pepurr
04-03-2010, 12:25 AM
CU6AVtQethw

Anyone heard this? Lol

I did see that before! What a dumb ass.

Help! I think I'm going to die from marijuana! :stoned::rastasmoke::stoned:

What an ignoramus! What a maroon!

pepurr
04-03-2010, 12:35 AM
I liked the one about "There is no magical invisible place inside the car. This includes the console, ashtray and under the driver??s or passenger??s seat."

Hey! What about the visor? That must be the magical place because he didn't mention it

Ha ha! What do you think about stoner logic now? Pretty clever to figure out that one, huh? :stoned:

redtails
04-03-2010, 08:07 PM
Not to mention there's always places on the console & dash that can be removed easily and you can hide stuff there unless there's a drug dog...

stra8outtaWeed
04-03-2010, 08:41 PM
us old vets have been smoking and drivin for a long time...i was pulled over once for speeding...i wsas headed to the hydro store and i was clocking through a little town before hitting the 5..I5 and i noticed i had lights behind me a freshly rolled joint in a cup holder with some trash and loose change and i was like "oh shit" the smell was obvious no hiding it so i rolled down the widow to air things out a bit before so it wojuldnt be a blast of smell hitting him and he asks me "whats the rush?" i replied with "i am going shopping and i was thinking of what i am getting and was not paying attention to my speed" which was absolute truth...my dog was in the car and he wanted to be friendly as he tried to go over me to see the officer and then it was is your dog a pure bred and we talked for a bit about dogs and he said slow down and smiled and sent me on my way....so some of the LEO's are pretty cool if you don't act guilty of anything...but great stuff above...good laughs!:jointsmile:

Ub3rB0ng
04-04-2010, 07:30 AM
Incorrect. Pot makes dumb people think that the irrational things they do are, in fact, rational.

This is compliant with my belief that marijuana simply amplifies any characteristics you already possess. It won't make you a fat lazy asshole but if you like to sit on the couch and munch chips every couple nights, start smoking pot and that will turn into Hop Sing's being at number two on your speed dial, right after Domino's.


Amen, couldnt have said it better myself. ;)

pentigram
04-04-2010, 12:15 PM
Wow. I loved the story and laughed all through it. Excellent.

hollowprophet
04-08-2010, 06:33 PM
Pot is a material object. You can see it. The car is a material object and you can see that too. There is no magical invisible place inside the car. This includes the console, ashtray and under the driver??s or passenger??s seat. Once the probable cause is there, the cops are going to check further. Probable cause includes the piles of smoke that exit the window when you roll it down after being pulled over. I can tell you that in a given week, we probably have two dozen arrests in cars and apartments on small misdemeanor cases of marijuana possession because it was there to be seen.

The entire time I read this, the introduction scene from the Broken Lizard movie Super Troopers kept replaying itself in my head... :wtf: This is the scene in question, trust me, it's worth 10 minutes (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/376690/)

JohnnyZ
04-08-2010, 06:49 PM
...Mother of God.

:S2: One of the best comedies of all time. The Broken Lizard dudes are genius.

hollowprophet
04-08-2010, 08:13 PM
...Mother of God.

:S2: One of the best comedies of all time. The Broken Lizard dudes are genius.

Indeed. Club Dread was kind of a miss, but Slammin Salmon was REALLY, really good.

jimmy8778
04-08-2010, 08:39 PM
littering and... littering and... littering and... smokin the reefer. Classic, probably watched this movie about 3 times a day for six months. crazy.

all my soap is bunty.

JohnnyZ
04-08-2010, 08:43 PM
What up jimmy! I have not seen Slammin Salmon I totally forgot about it!

Yo let's not forget about Beerfest, that movie was epic.

"IT WAS THE GREATEST BEER IN THE WHOLE ZE WORLD.."

jimmy8778
04-09-2010, 04:09 AM
its forty for a zj.