chance942
02-01-2010, 08:49 AM
I have battled depression all of my life. That, coupled with 2 horrible car incidents have caught up with me nearly 15 years later. I have had various counselors,been hospitalized and tried at least 15 "meds" that I can recall. You can guess what the only thing is that has provided me relief. Oh wait all it has done is suppress the symptoms. What does Xanax do???? WHY can I have all of the Adderall my body can stand but no Cannabis???? I won't go into all of the hell these worthless pills have put me through. EVERY "doctor" or whatever you want to call them in the last 3 years have given me combos that contradict themselves!! I know many many souls have a similar story themselves so forgive me for venting a bit. I have been diagnosed with PTSD by both my CNP and a "psychiatrist". The latest being last Thursday in ABQ,what a friggin ordeal I didn't need!! ALL he wanted to do was push more pharms. When I asked about natural remedies he assumed Cannabis and barked that he doesn't do that there. I had my records of course and after wasting my time and money with him I decided that I didn't want that office to have any copies. I politely asked for them back and was told in such a heartless way that the doc wanted them and she had to do it. I said I realized that he did but that is MY property and I don't give you permission to do anything other than hand them over. She got furious with me after I informed her that I know my rights and that the only thing she'd be doing was handing them over. She did,she literally threw them in my face and attempted to engage in a stare down. The chicken hearted doc was standing right next to me through this all and had not a word to say. He knew enough to know not to open his mouth. I've never hit a woman and I thank God he stayed out of it now. I gathered my wrinkled,wet papers( I guess she was clinching them and was nervous?) You all know how much of a PITA it is to gather these records. My Mother being with me is all that kept me from exploding in that office,I ran as far as I could away from her outside where I thought she wouldn't find me and I beat my hands bloody on some rough landscape rocks. Popped 2mg of alpra and did my best to hide it from her. I couldn't obviously,she's my Ma,she knew. Kenneth Harold Bull,avoid him like the plague. He came highly recommended from a very reliable source(not for prescribing Cannabis but at that point I was still open to trying for any insight and help other than the poison meds) but if you want to try something besides bonus biased meds don't go to him. Duh by now right? I read on here that Nurse Practitioners are the way to go. I attest to that as being a fact,not an opinion. Mine has told me where to get all the paper work to send in and I believe her when she says if it were solely her call I'd have it by now. I have been totally honest with her and she has tried to help me more than anybody in the field and with COMPASSION. She has told me that she doesn't know how else to help me and at this point the negatives of a natural plant of which we all have receptors for in our brains far out weigh the joke meds we've tried. Yeah we!! She seems as determined as I to give me happiness for what remains of my life. Why is she so willing to let me try it but the quacks won't? She has no less risk of loosing her DEA #. Ah someone mentioned the MONEY side,loss of business,etc for quacks. Are they not required to take the same hypocritical oath as an ER doc would??There seems to be so much unwillingness to REALLY adhere to the hypocratical oath and help people. I KNOW what works for me. I lived for a spell in various areas around Denver and Boulder was never far away. So basically I have done what I need to do legally but I can't seem to find that second signature. I am really happy for those of you who have the legal ability to do what the Constitution entitles you to. I really mean that, kind souls. With that being said please don't write if you have anything mean to say. This is MY life I WANT to LIVE it!! Give me my right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nah 2 diagnoses have left me to 5150,guess I'll get a third. With that will I be section 8 all my life? Like I said I want to live and these pharms are KILLING me. Thanks,peace to you all. Let me believe this agony I have won't ruin me. I am a fighter but you know I'm in the 8th and it won't end in a 12th round split decision.