Schizoaffective and cannabis

[zihowie]

Ever since childhood, I have felt like an outsider. I was treated for depression and adhd and nothing seemed to make a difference. I was an a++ student, striving to be the best I could possibly be. Always a sense of intellectual arrogance persisted and I wanted to reflect that, through achieved status'.
Then, after some personal/family crisis I turned to complacency and my grades dropped. I just didnt care anymore. I was more into feeling normal and being accepted. Cannabis use started regularly during my 10th grade year and persisted throughout HS. I felt more at

[zihowie]

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I felt more at ease with my depression and better well suited to be "normal." Anyway, I threw away my life in place for normalcy and a sense of belonging. I was happier in my mind, but soon I was dissatisfied with where i was going, along with my family as well.
I was self-destructive in every way, but I couldnt help it. I didnt find the balance I needed, the moderation. So, everything has been blamed on cannabis use, not the fact I havent been treated accordingly.
I recently found out I had been living with this mental illness and soon I will be trying the meds that will be required. Im uncertain, but willing to try them and give it a shot. All that Ive read is that these meds take time, months to kick in and even then tweaking/changing of the meds could be required for the specific individual.
I guess the point of this post is to inquire about my options. I live in a non-mmj state and do not have the resources to grow my own specific strains. In the past, I have had great success feeling happy and productive with Indica strains. As the sativas have made my anxiety worse and I would lock myself up in the house (very unproductive). So, I cant know specifically what weed I would be getting if I decided to try it again. Ive been clean for a week, i know its not much, but the difference has been minimal to me except ive felt more depressed and my symptoms worse.

So... I dont know what to do and Im going to wait until after I try the meds before I take furthur recourse. Is there any advice or other options im missing? Thank you for your time.

[zihowie]

Living with Schizoaffective Disorder (Part I) || kuro5hin.org (http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2003/4/11/4127/09278)

here is a great article on someone living with this disorder.

[Starfox]

Wow, awesome. Thanks for that article. As for advice to you, I am sorry to say I am still in the process of learning. I have taken a combo of two meds and although they evened me out, I developed hand and even arm tremors so obviously I stopped those meds immediately. If your symptoms are prohibiting you from living normally, take the meds and try REALLY hard to quit weed for 4+ months. It will be super hard, but I quit for 7 and it was worth it.

[redtails]

I entirely agree about the long term quitting, I did it for 18 months and now am able to control with just mmj, but I have to be very careful not to abuse it anymore (addictive personality). If you treat it like the medicine it is and have maybe a few tokes a day to every other day I've found it helps, but once you cross the threshold into recreational use, it aggrivates your disorder. Main thing is you need a few months to fully clear it out of your system in order to return to normal. That's what I've found helps, and like you said, Indicas are generally better. I'm able to grow one small plant at a time, since I only smoke maybe a quarter ounce a month, and the rest goes to a friend to pay for the growing. Good luck man, hope you learn to deal with everything soon.

[marijowanna]

I truly enjoyed reading this posting. I am a medical user and my son is a recreational user. I have failed back syndrome, he has the owww this is nice syndrome. I was talking to him and relating with him on a different level. I once partied in high school and beyond. Here and there got plowed just like I got drunk. But then I stopped cold, completely for years (over 10) and I am under forty. A couple of years ago we talked to my pain management doctor about medical marijuana, I was fearful of it because I liked it before. But we tried it, and low and behold but I was moving again. I got so bold as to go to a detoxing physical restoration program. Holy Shit, I lost weight, I http://boards.cannabis.com/images/smilies/custom/wtf.gif:stoned:argued again, I walked without a cane, I moved. No more opiates... No more strange acting lyrica, no more patches all over my body, no more constipation... A totally different life. Not what it once was but so much better than years of pain have been. I didn't embrace the pot. But I knew it helped but the stigma was so intense. Don't be a "pot head" I am still struggling with accepting that in order to function I have to be a pot head. But I know it works when not mixed in recreationally...

[bmoney80]

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So... I dont know what to do and Im going to wait until after I try the meds before I take furthur recourse. Is there any advice or other options im missing? Thank you for your time.

Hey zihowie,

I guess I just want to start by saying that it's really difficult to give someone sound advice when responding to something that is so undeniably personal and unique. While a diagnosis such as schizoaffective d/o has clearly defined criteria that warrants said diagnosis, mental health issues are just so complex and systemic in regards to various social, psychological, biological issues- bla bla bla ...

The point that I just want to make is that, considering the diagnosis that youve been given highlights issues with your mood and thought process, I really stand behind the advice given by others - try your best to lay off smoking for a while, especially while you are working with doctors to find something that can help. While smoking can definitely be an enjoyable, enlightening and rewarding experience, in certain circumstances it can be the opposite - especially when other chemicals are being introduced into your body - you never know how they will react together. Also, I know it may be tough, but really try to extend beyond the medical/clinical support and really try to identify other useful resources to help you when your not feeling well (things like nature, music, friends, reaching out to others on supportive forums like here:) etc.).

With that being said, I think you're already off to great start. You're thinking about the issues at hand, reaching out, asking for feedback and really trying to identify whats the best move for you.