My QUITing Journal (2 weeks)

[Euphoric7]

I've been smoking for almost 3 years now pretty much solid. I've done short tolerance breaks before (the longest being 1 month). Anyway, lately when I smoke, I don't get the good experience I used to. Instead of the visuals, 3D vision, and epiphanies... I just end up feeling very tired, a little dizzy and apathetic. Personally, the last three qualities do not mesh well with me anymore. I'm not going to "chase the weed-dragon" hoping to get that incredible high anymore, F*CK it.

Anywho, so I'm starting this two week break to prove that I CAN do it and so I can start enriching other areas of my life that I've started to neglect.

I'll post updates here every few days to force myself to keep not-smoking a priority.
After the two weeks are over, I'll decide whether or not I want to continue or just quit all together.

LET'S DO THIS!:thumbsup:

[seattlesmoke247]

Awesome, I'll be watching this. I've been chasing the weed dragon as well but just given in... One day I hope to have the willpower you have.

Hope you find what you're looking for.

[dimondmyne]

Keep in mind that after a few months if you decide to toke again you will once again feel incredibly high. But it's totally do-able you will quit no problem it's just you have to figure out what to do after you've accomplished your goal of quitting. We all chase something.

[JohnnyZ]

It's true man, everyone has an addiction. Even being sober is an addiction to the mind.

[Euphoric7]

So far easy first day, didn't have to bail from any smoke sessions with friends. Didn't sleep at all last night. Still eating a lot of good nutritious food. I have the urge to rip the RooR, but I'm gonna try and sleep.

'night

[jakester]

Keep at it man and remember, if you do happen to mess up it's no biggie. Just start quitting again.

I do this often and have taken a month or more off. As long as I don't have any attacks of IBS I don't even think about it after a week or so.

[Euphoric7]

Okay 3rd day almost over. Not too bad, I've been really busy with school which has helped distract me and yet make me more stressed due to constant deadlines, worries of making the grade, getting pissed because I have no leisure time and "this isn't fair". I've been getting pissed at people's little annoying ticks that I would usually deal with or totally not care about. Although I haven't snapped at people, I need to chill and relax somehow. Maybe meditation? I'm thinking about starting HoloSync. My iPod ran out of batteries this morning and I didn't have time to charge it, so no music today.

I must say that if it weren't for www.iso-tones.com's "Sleep" tone, I would be a sleep-deprived zombie. Day 4 tomorrow, quarter way through it!

[bombdiggity]

You're a better person than me...

Bud is my prozac :)

[FilthElement]

Nice work it's always best to keep yourself active while trying to quit for a spell. Theres nothing worse than telling yourself you wanna stop a while and find you've got nothin to do! i gotta get on with my own studies thanks for the reninder!

[Euphoric7]

So today was a pretty decent day, encountered a very difficult teacher I've had before and it really got my temper. I can make a clear distinction when I'm being unco-operative and when someone is specifically _trying_ to get on my nerves for selfish reasons. This was pure selfishery. This teacher wouldn't let it go either, she haunted me all day like a f*cking ghost! With the weekend coming up, I'm have really strong feelings of just having ONE sesh. Not because I have nothing else to do, but because I feel I need a mental "reset" after the hectic week. I'm still considering this, I'm not sure.

[thcbongman]

Well it's a been a while since I posted here........

I think you are doing a good thing. I have to quit a while, not because I want to but because I'm forced too. I'm back in the system, getting drug tested for who knows how long. I have a trainwreck, but I can't touch it, not until I complete my drug test. But I quit for a week and smoked it because I just had to. The high was amazing, it was the best high I had in years, like I was 15 again. It's truly something you should look forward to, it's just splendid. When you toke everyday, you just lose that magic you once had with weed.

Just keep fighting on dude. Trust me, just another week, and you'll feel amazing. You'll learn to appreciate the herb for what it really is. Just remember, you have the choice to toke. Some of us don't, unless you feel like going to jail :(

[dirtnap411]

stay strong man, imagin how it will feel with a blank slate, so to speak. :thumbsup:

[Euphoric7]

Well, I'm SO GLAD I didn't smoke and I have a STRONG determination to hold on another week. All I can say is yesterday some HUGE mess happened at a party and I've become a lot stronger because I DEALT with it. Things are fine now, but I'm glad I didn't take the easy way out.

ANOTHER WEEK TO GO, YEAH!

[Euphoric7]

I wasn't going to post today, but I had a crazy epiphany so I thought I might share. Weed has been making me more analytical about what I say and do. I used to think people were judging me all the time. I've been afraid to just 'let myself shine' so to speak. It had gotten to the point where I would just wait for the weekend (not to hang out w/ friends and GO DO THINGS), but to spend every day of the weekend alone, blazing because it was just habitual. I was kind of... afraid to let go of weed and experience life for what it was, in it's RAW, UNALTERED state. Life can be tough and full of drama, but you need to form yourself into a unique fixed point in your head so that no matter what bullshit life throws at you, you will ALWAYS know who you are. I forgot what that even felt like. The thing is... when you simply LIVE and stop caring about people's judgements... this is what LIFE really is!

I had forgotten what the limitless potential of my mind was, I could "be in the moment", totally fulfilled, seeing only the positive in things without weed. Weed was useful, initially, to show me this STATE was possible. However, unlike some of my friends, hanging out with people doesn't always have to lead to whipping out the bong because there's "nothing else to do". Have fun! Fuck around with people, be cool, meet cool new people, have adventures!

These are my thoughts so far after meditating for the past week, I'll continue to do so, and see what epiphanies come NEXT!

[FilthElement]

well said!

I understand exactly what your going through. It feels safe to leave the house again because I'm not stoned all the time.

Keep strong... And others will too!

[Euphoric7]

WELL, WELL, WELL...

It's been two weeks, mission accomplished. :D

[follow up coming soon]

[Euphoric7]

I've been putting off this final BANG to my quitting journal for a while because, well, I couldn't surmise in words what needed to be said.

It's so beyond words, yet we can dilute it enough to create understandable sentences from it.

During my two week break, I've been able to put a lot into perspective. I've seen the shortcomings I need to face, and the compromise I thus need to make. Weed was, at first, a mysterious tunnel into the 'universal intelligence', I'll call it. However, over time (as I'm sure most of you experienced members have noticed), this tunnel becomes darker and darker over time, eventually having no light to chase.

I remember having unreal spiritual experiences from this; ones which shook the foundations of my reality and what I thought was 'real'. This was good, it showed me there was more to life than I had confronted. But the last few months, this spiritual experience has become dull with a sleepy, apathetic, haze of muddied thought. I can't remember of a time where this plant has last given me any supernatural insight I so longed for. This being the case even after a 2 week period of eating strict and exercising well. It just doesn't do it.

This has lead me to the conclusion that this is not a chemical for constant pestering. It's not something you can constantly beg, "More insight, come-on, come-on". This being the fact, I decided to stick to sparse occasional smoking for a different purpose.

Although, strong altered states of mind aren't common anymore, one effect remains. The realization of what is truly important. The Zen feeling of RIGHT NOW. No "problems", per se, but simply "things to solve". And in a busy, hectic life where mind is always trying to get "THERE, not here, I don't want to be here, I want to be THERE... now!", this plant can bring things into perspective quickly and suddenly and for that I am grateful.
____________________
In normal english now:

Weed's cool, but it's not a trip filled with crazy insight. One cool thing it DOES do, is make you forget about dumb problems and see things in perspective. There ARE no problems, just "things to solve". So, I'll cut back my use to reflect that.


THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT N STUFF, GUYS!

[dimondmyne]

I remember smoking a fatty after I had quit for a few months, and I was just starring up at the stars drifting off into space and thinking, Now I remember why I shouldn't smoke so much....

[NextLineIsMine]

I remember smoking weed when I was a teen and feeling the ultimate escape. People say using something to escape is bad but I beg to differ, being around the same old people places and things is far worse.

Ive taken a break for 2 weeks as of today myself, radical if you knew me and that id smoked like clockwork for years.

When I spark up again, and I dont know how long it will be till then, i'll do so away from everyone else, it will be oh so fresh

[Euphoric7]

I remember smoking weed when I was a teen and feeling the ultimate escape. People say using something to escape is bad but I beg to differ, being around the same old people places and things is far worse.

Ive taken a break for 2 weeks as of today myself, radical if you knew me and that id smoked like clockwork for years.

When I spark up again, and I dont know how long it will be till then, i'll do so away from everyone else, it will be oh so fresh
I agree that everyone needs some form of escape from immediate reality to settle your mind. Going on with the same thing without a full perspective can be dangerous.

Good luck to you too, man!