HOW CONFIDENT ARE YOU?

[devils dream]

At times in my life i have been totally confident within myself i'd go out and dance the night away without a care of what others thought, but now if i walk into a crowded environment i feel stupid like i want to leave and i dont know where it came from, i had 4 years of utter shit in my life abusive relationships,depression, moving house too many times and having three kids will all contribute to my issues i know but what worries me most is will i ever regain the confidence i once had?

i fight depression every day, i fight to be happy and get up to make breakfast do the house work and make sure everything and everyone is taken care of no matter how bad i feel, i feel like i can fight depression, but my confidence is lower than ever and having an impact in many areas of my life, its holding me back and i dont want to be held back any more i've allowed it to continue for too long all ready.

anyone got any tips on rebuilding confidence that might actually work?

are you confident now and have you all ways been that way?:)

[cannakeeper]

Nobody is in tip-top shape when they have taken a beating, it's called "healing". Don't press it, just know that you will. Are you an over all good person? Never lie, cheat, steal, hurt others etc...? We are all human, we make mistakes and experience set-backs. Let me help take the guess work out of the confidence issue and say...Only you know who you are and if a good person is truly who you are, it sticks out like a sore thumb:thumbsup: and should be very clear to you. Take pride in the fact that there seems to be a shortage of people like that anymore so that would make you very special if you were. Only you know the answer to that and a truly good person is confident "rich" in knowing this. Giiirl, sometimes you just gotta say "FUCK IT"!! Strive to be the best person you can and know there are people out there that have the deepest respect and admiration for good peeps. Try taking a militant approach to your troubles and when one pops up, monkey stomp that shit! Chin up girl, stella got her groove back, so will you, just be patient.

[weedmaster]

i have fought depression most of my adult life, i use to try and impress people and wanted everyone to like me thinking that would make me happier, silly me. now i just let people see me for who i really am and if they don't like me thats their problem not mine, i concentrate on all the wonderfull things life has to offer me. knowing i am fit and healthy with 2 great kids and a wonderfull wife is enough for me, i try to think only positively and all negative thoughts i try to bannish, there is alot of people who are alot more worst of than me, this helps me to try and keep focused on the positives. i feel for you and hope you manage to find a way to help yourself.keep thinking positively :)

[Weedhound]

Dont take on the entire world at once.
Do NOT forget to give yourself a pat on the back for doing a good job. This is critical for self-esteem imo....
Accept that you WILL make more mistakes in life......but learn from them. Really think them through. Turn them inside out and examine them closely. So many people just try to hide their mistakes instead of using them as a good learning tool. Why did I do this, that, etc?? What was my motive for what I did? (that's always a treasure trove of information if you are stone cold honest with yourself) Not being afraid to admit and study your mistakes is probably the best tool I know for helping myself out.
Create a support group for yourself. Friends, relatives, even a REAL support group if that interests you at all. We all get down and need help sometimes. Learn to ask for help.......it will help you not to feel as isolated and alone as well.

And realize that poor self esteem IS a symptom of clinical depression. Think about talking to a professional about stuff. Rather than letting it drag you down to its level.....kicks its ass back down. I do this myself in the form of Prozac but that doesn't mean I'm advocating it for you. Simply mentioning possible options as opposed to being stuck in the dark grey hole that I found so familiar.

Best of luck to you.

wh

[devils dream]

Dont take on the entire world at once.
Do NOT forget to give yourself a pat on the back for doing a good job. This is critical for self-esteem imo....
And realize that poor self esteem IS a symptom of clinical depression. Think about talking to a professional about stuff. Rather than letting it drag you down to its level.....kicks its ass back down. I do this myself in the form of Prozac but that doesn't mean I'm advocating it for you. Simply mentioning possible options as opposed to being stuck in the dark grey hole that I found so familiar.
wh

thanks for the encouragement, i have also been on prozac and although i haven't beaten my depression it no longer beats me, i have recieved help but i cant seem to break through to myself again like somehow i lost myself and now i dont know how to get it back, i'm thankful for all the great things i have in my life especially my three kids but i'm letting them down, my confidence doesnt just prevent me from doing things i want but also from doing activities with my children, i suffer panick attacks (not very often now) but when i'm in certain situations i just cant cope with it and so the cycle continues, if i force myself to try something which i dont feel confident about i end up feeling panicked and it puts me off wanting to try any thing that may even possible bring about a panick attack.
i know confidence is a state of mind but i've been through so much and came out the other side surely i should be more confident now than ever?

[LazySmoking420]

I'm confident in trying to live my life with love & respect to other life forms, mother nature with body and mind.

However I'm not confident in being successful in such a dog-eat-dog world.. Sometimes I dont know if I fit into the hussle and bussle of city life..

But I have friends, family and cannabis. :hippy:

[LazySmoking420]

thanks for the encouragement, i have also been on prozac and although i haven't beaten my depression it no longer beats me, i have recieved help but i cant seem to break through to myself again like somehow i lost myself and now i dont know how to get it back, i'm thankful for all the great things i have in my life especially my three kids but i'm letting them down, my confidence doesnt just prevent me from doing things i want but also from doing activities with my children, i suffer panick attacks (not very often now) but when i'm in certain situations i just cant cope with it and so the cycle continues, if i force myself to try something which i dont feel confident about i end up feeling panicked and it puts me off wanting to try any thing that may even possible bring about a panick attack.
i know confidence is a state of mind but i've been through so much and came out the other side surely i should be more confident now than ever?


I've been there, I think every human being in this world has felt depressed, We all have our scars...

You may think this is weird saying this over a message board, But when I was 5 I was molested by two teens male and female that lived next door...

I lost all my innocence at age 5... I dont think the pain or wounds like ever heal... and for the longest time I thought I did something wrong or it was my fault.

But what I have come to realize... Hurt people hurt people... Those same teens that molested me where being molested by there own parents.

There is evil in this world... but there is also alot of wonder.

[thcbongman]

I'm confident in the sense I work hard and get shit done. I'm confident about my looks, I'm confident that I can survive and I'll always fight.

When it comes to people, especially starting a conversation for my own self-enjoyment, I'm not confidant at all. I just have terrible anxiety around people I don't know. I've come to the conclusion people naturally don't like me and I'm cool with it now, I am who I am.

Confidence, all you takes is to build it up little by little. It's like exercise, you start slow, then start doing things that are more complex and eventually you'll do them like it's 2nd nature. It worked for everything I done but social situations.

I think were all trying to fight for happiness. But I'm a patient man and eventually, we'll get out of this shit. You just have to believe it.

[devils dream]

[quote=thcbongman]I'm confident in the sense I work hard and get shit done. I'm confident about my looks, I'm confident that I can survive and I'll always fight.

When it comes to people, especially starting a conversation for my own self-enjoyment, I'm not confidant at all. I just have terrible anxiety around people I don't know. QUOTE]

its taken me ten minutes to try and start this reply, just thinking over the things you've specified and i wanted to agree with you somewhere that i'm confident at this or that but i just cant, i'd love to say i'm confident that i can survive and i'll all ways fight, i have some belief in that sense but i dont feel confident about it, i wonder how long i can keep it up, how long can i fight?

how long can anyone function like a machine getting up everyday doing the same things because new things are to daunting, repeating the same daily routine without some random activities, i'm 24 and should be having fun as a young woman and as a young mum, trouble is i'm not me anymore i am just mum, nothing else really goes on in my life and i'm too scared to break out of the way things are incase they just get worse.
i've spent 2 years proving to social services that i am a capable caring mother who loves, cares for and protects her children all because a boyfriend who liked picking fights with me, now its as if i spent so long proving myself that i dont even know what i want any more or who i am just me as a mum, how can i rediscover me as a person and rebuild my own self confidence?

[overgrowthegovt]

Hmmm....

On a cerebral level, I think very highly of myself, to the point of being perceived as arrogant were I to make it known. Looks, brains and personability, I think I possess in spades. I also think I'm highly gifted creatively and have the potential to be a great success as a writer.

On a visceral level, I can't help constantly feeling myself to be the lowest and most undeserving piece of shit that walks the earth. Even though the vast majority of people I talk to like me at once, I always feel they secretly despise me (even my friends, on some level), that I neither deserve nor ever will find love, that my creative output is a worthless mess, and that I'm somehow cursed, that I simply wasn't wired right and I've been doomed to eternal self-consciousness. This is at my worst--I generally manage to keep my mind on other things.

You generallywouldn't be able to tell how cripplingly low my visceral self-esteem is...even if I'm pounding with anxiety inside, I'll engage in witty conversation, look you straight in the eye, etc. It only really manifests itself in its prevention of intimacy--I'll put myself out there for a conversation, but rarely make a move, unless intoxicated. I bordered on alcohol abuse there for awhile, and it got me laid a few times, but I'm currently trying to deal in other ways.

[Spoken Word]

I'm pretty confident. What's the worst that could happen? You make a complete fool of yourself over your beliefs? lol I'll take it. Just be mature, you'll be alright.

[Doobee]

I had a good post here with something of value said about real depression.

But alas.... this site lacks good managership and the timed-out phase as usual crapped the post and signing back in to try and post again didn't work as it should have.:mad:

Then there's the posts which never do show up and should.:(

And the posts that will not show in a thread as they should.:wtf:

Add the vile foul mouthed, stoned kids who never learned better to put a diaper on their face and what's up with the lack of respect for those many who are here to get help and learn.

No wonder why there's such a negative stigma associated with cannabis.

Such foul mouthed, ignorant potheads with the mentality of a gnat who's vocabulary is riddled with diarrhea making the efforts more difficult than ever need be.

After researching and following the successes of Rick Simpson and his many patients and the novel idea of another beneficial poster to make concentrated THC oil from a pen and Ronson butane, I was able to cure the cancer lesions on my face...in FIVE DAYS!:cool:

No follow up posts and no offers in the way of thanks or helpful support or even suggestions to enable further successes.

To those guilty of rude manners, atleast clean up the diarrhea mouths and put a diaper on your faces when compelled to post.

Many people come here to investigate and learn about the many benefits of medical cannabis.

Get with it folks and be mindful that these many visitors and new members are seeking help and information about how they too might benefit by using cannabis as a medicine and not just some pathetic excuse to be stoned day in and out, day after day.

Albeit there are many here who are respectful of others and are as helpful as they know how...there are those who only blather out the stench they think is sooooo cool.

If I am the only one who feels like this about the lack of decency, respect and management of this site then I will go away and let ya all be.

[bhouncy]

â??He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to haveâ?�
Socrates

I focus daily morning and night on what makes me happy. Sure there is shit happens but I shrug it off. When something happens that may be perceived as negative people around me say stuff like "You must feel terrible". Well no. I feel great because I have my family. I'm doing what I love and no matter what happens there is always something positive in my life no matter how small.

[thcbongman]

I'm confident in the sense I work hard and get shit done. I'm confident about my looks, I'm confident that I can survive and I'll always fight.

When it comes to people, especially starting a conversation for my own self-enjoyment, I'm not confidant at all. I just have terrible anxiety around people I don't know. QUOTE]

its taken me ten minutes to try and start this reply, just thinking over the things you've specified and i wanted to agree with you somewhere that i'm confident at this or that but i just cant, i'd love to say i'm confident that i can survive and i'll all ways fight, i have some belief in that sense but i dont feel confident about it, i wonder how long i can keep it up, how long can i fight?

how long can anyone function like a machine getting up everyday doing the same things because new things are to daunting, repeating the same daily routine without some random activities, i'm 24 and should be having fun as a young woman and as a young mum, trouble is i'm not me anymore i am just mum, nothing else really goes on in my life and i'm too scared to break out of the way things are incase they just get worse.
i've spent 2 years proving to social services that i am a capable caring mother who loves, cares for and protects her children all because a boyfriend who liked picking fights with me, now its as if i spent so long proving myself that i dont even know what i want any more or who i am just me as a mum, how can i rediscover me as a person and rebuild my own self confidence?

It sounds like you need a break and to change up your routine a bit. It's tough being young and having kids because you want to let loose. You don't have to do anything outrageous, enjoy the simple things in life is a start.

I can see you have a bit of fight in you. But remember, the fight is the battle to be calm, not a fire fight. :)

Things will get better.

[psychocat]

You are a good person, I KNOW THIS !
You know that I believe we can all be what we choose to be and the assumption that we can't is all that ever holds us back.

Be tough on those who try to hold you down and welcome those who make you feel free.

No giving in and don't ever let the bastards grind you down.

Thinking of you. :thumbsup:

Oh and by the way
I'm an arrogant son of a bitch and never lack confidence. :cool:

[The Great Wave]

I too have had to deal with feelings of lack of confidence, depression and still do to this day. In fact i'm currently taking a few day hiatus of my goals to re-focus myself and my confidence levels. I sometimes get so involved with my own pursuits that I forget to think.

But what I have found really helps me is trying to ask myself why i feel this way and what I need to do to change this. Like you said in your post, It is a state of mind. and it literally is. A little under a year ago I started to look more into Philosophy, which I recommend to anyone that feels confused, unsure, or overwhelmed with life. By doing this I've opened myself up to a wider range of thinking and a better inner dialogue with myself that allows me to contemplate my life, surroundings and what direction I am heading in with a better understanding of what life truly is.

Many of us get bogged down with the ins-and-outs of everyday life in a 3 dimensional world. But their is so much more to life that, for some of us, we never uncover. I know that sounds vague, but from my own personal experience I know what that simple sentence means.

My suggestion, which helped me, is to start looking for answers to your questions.

I was lacking confidence, and i feel this was because I was so unaware of things. Upon looking for answers it lead me to quantum mechanics, partical physics, metaphysics, epistemology, philosophy and now, as of late, string theory (or M theory). Now I look at the world in a whole different way.

ps. bhouncy I like that Socrates quote, I will be adding that to the daily quotes I tell myself through out the day to help reaffirm my thoughts and goals

[devils dream]

You are a good person, I KNOW THIS !
You know that I believe we can all be what we choose to be and the assumption that we can't is all that ever holds us back.

Be tough on those who try to hold you down and welcome those who make you feel free.

No giving in and don't ever let the bastards grind you down.

Thinking of you. :thumbsup:

Oh and by the way
I'm an arrogant son of a bitch and never lack confidence. :cool:


well i havent given up yet and dont see myself as a quitter which is something and as for social services i finally made the grade and they have now closed my case so i guess if i managed to over come some of the huge difficulties then a few more small ones wont hurt too much, i now know that my confidence isnt what it once was but at least i know i wont just accept it, i will find a way to change things i just dont know how yet.

and cat i wish i had your arrogant confidence x ;)

[415plus5]

whenever i go somewhere new or go somewhere where there are many people i dont know, i just keep in mind that all those people have no idea who you are. act and feel the way you want because those other people have no idea what you are all about. if you put yourself out there the way you want to be seen, then that is how you will be seen, they dont know your history or anything. who knows your acting a different way than you normally would have?

another thing i like to keep in mind is that if you feel like you are going to embarrass yourself, or if you are, who cares? really. your never going to see these people again in your life, and they are probably too busy thinking about how they look and portray themselves.

thats how i get through my day. hope this helps

I had to edit this to say this b/c it is important... smoke a blunt and slap some of your favorite music. music that makes you feel good and how you would feel when you are not depressed. this really helps

[painretreat]

When I was your age I was too confident in life! Everything was a definite yes or no, this or that, black or white==I discovered Grey! A lot of live is grey. That sent me to years of self help groups, psychotherapy, psychiatrist and read more self help and informational books than my therapist did for a Master's in helping! I've had medication, you name it.

The self help groups, 12-steps are a model to help improve you situation. You were in some sort of co-dependenta relationship that you allowed yourself to stay in a negative relationship that took you under the dirt one fight at a time. Until you no longer fought for yourself!! I did that for 17 years! My self-confidence really sucks now. I am confident in the things that I know for a fact and my field of work! But, life--no-one really has the right answer for you. But, there are many that will help and work!

The fact you've acknowledged it and want to do something is a very big first step and you are on the right track. I question what your panic attacks are being treated with, as I know that med. you mentioned can actually cause panic attacks (not in everyone, but I have seen it first hand).

You have children and they are your first concern. If you can't take care of yourself from bad relationships, protect your children. I find, I can stand up and try to kick some ass if I see children being abused, even at the risk of my own life. It is your and all adults job to protect them. That gets your knickers in a twist, cause you need it first and now. That is what a mother does though, kids first.

When your children witness violence, it makes them a victim of violence and will effect their lives. Now, that you know you need to protect them. Protect yourself from these mean-spirited people that drag you down. If allowed, your children will elevate you and make you feel like the most important person in the world to them, because you are and until they become teen-agers, they won't be so down on you. If you are lucky, they never will be. It is difficult to balance a decent relationship, new ones and keep your children feeling they are the most important thing in the world to you.

Particularly, when you don't feel important to yourself. It takes a lot of work and practice. One brilliant man once said,' Fake it til you make it!" Bradshaw (I think). If you don't elevate yourself above everyone else and don't act like you are dirt under anyone's feet, that is a start! You have to stand up for yourself and remind yourself daily, 'I am going to keep the good things of today and let the rest go!" Don't dwell on the bad, evaluate and if you feel you did something wrong--apologize and make amends, and do better next time. It takes a real grown up to do that. Most people can't apologize for wrong-saying or doing! I believe, that is what makes us human and mature! part of it anyway!

Unfortunately, many cannot do that and may falsely elevate you to a standard they can't even achieve and there comes the rub! Bottom line, you have to live with yourself--no one else. All the time, it matters how you treat and feel about yourself. Decide who you want to be and be that person!

If you need some help, therapy, self-help group, etc. Seek it out. At the very least, some good books on self help. Provided you don't have other avenues.

People, like Rush LImbaugh are extremely confident--you've heard about him and you'll have to decide that we all have flaws, even he does. He may now admit them, since he has been 'caught'. But, he believe's his thoughts, etc. are perfect and the way of the world. That is as bad as feeling as you do! Don't use people like that and judge yourself against them.

Don't take yourself so seriously. Laugh at yourself. Admit when you are wrong and just do better next time. As said, don't lie, cheat or steal; be a good person and the rest follows, with a bit of effort. It takes time, be patient with yourself.

First time I used a swear word at work, half my staff dropped their jaws in disbelief. For me, I decided to break out of my shell of First Southern Baptist confirmation of beliefs and behavior. I regret, I missed a lot of life due to it (maybe some more cannabis).

Dont' think as what someone says as the law and absolutely correct. Sometimes, there is no right answer, accept it and let it go! Living in grey area of life isn't the worse thing in the world. But, you won't want to sit on the fence all the time.

I read posts here when there is a feud going on and I can see both sides of the argument. Often, I cannot choose, but I don't have to. So, give yourself a break and take a holiday from whatever it is you don't feel confident about the choice or can't decide, it is O.K.! Learn to love yourself. People that are the most beautiful people in the world, often feel like the ugliest and they just can't see it! You are not alone. You may not see your fine and wonderful qualities. Start looking. If you aren't in jail, your children are doing well as they can for their ability and you are, as well! Celebrate your coping! You manage to get through social services and keep your children, that is a major attribute you have! You must be a pretty good person to go through all that.

Pick yourself up and hopefully, you will be a very good example for your children. You never know for sure, you have to follow your feelings. Are you in touch with your feelings? Or, did they get hidden during the bad relationship. It is sad how people do that to others and treat them badly--with no guilt of how horrible and long term damage they are doing emotionally to others. My father was that way, mean, violent and cruel and a know it all. Problem is, when I got some education I realized he was a Hitler. My mother was a close second. I grew up thinking, "I can hardly wait until I am 21, then I will know it all!" I was so disappointed, I did not and still do not. Everything is a decision and what is right for one person may not be for another. So, I like the 10 commandments as a rule of common human decency to live my life by. I think that is the best example we can have about ourself. When others fail short, I don't judge them, I realize, they will 'grow up' one day and do better and pray for them.

Whatever S.O.B. took advantage of your love did not deserve it and I hope you know it. Please don't be so hasty in the future and make sure you have a nice caring person, for you and your children.

People can't do to you what you won't let them and today, start making that choice.

As WH said, you have a lot to pat yoursefl on the back for and do it daily! may not seem like much, but it is a big deal for you. The positive re-inforcement will free you to expound in other areas for the same. Be open minded. If you are ridiculed, ask what, why and how to do it different? Doesn't mean they are right, but when they tell you; you will realize, they are right or yanking your chain playing head games! Don't assume everyone is right except you. I use to believe what people say, because, why would they lie to me over nothing? Guess what?

My confidence level as a result of years of abuse. I am taking time for me now and healing! as prev. said. I have little expectations of myself and am allowing me this time to take inventory of the good in me and correct the bad.

I've always thought that my behavior should be something I would do in front of my mother, boss, a child and/or significant other. Plus, if I don't want it published in the paper, I refrain!

Most people that are too confident are too rich and can 'purchase it right!' Dont' judge yourself against others. Just yourself and what you desire! A good Mom!!

If you have to force yourself, you know you are depressed and there are other meds or a great Sativa to help you. Problem is, whatever you use for it, has to be done regularly. Not, just when you feel you need it. When you are feeling well, keep taking your meds. That just means they are working and you have the right dose!

Last year I cried every evening for no apparent reason, except I had a very large burden lifted. No more being yelled at 24/7. No more saying, "Do what you want, you will anyway." I now have 2 friends in my state and 2 in other states, of which I've had for over 30 years each. I stay in touch with them and feel lucky to be in such good company. My 2 in state friends are twins. They give me that little boost I really need. Example: Today I called their mom and no answer. Called my friend, and she was in hospital. I was told it was family only and the password to get in to see their mom. I've always been treated like family by Mom and the twins. When I kissed 87 yr. old mom on the forehead and told her I love her, Mom said, "Thanks, I needed to hear that!" Little things like that is what make us have more confidence. I have a great deal of respect for this woman. Over educated and college grad. More stimulating conversation than anyone. But, she has told me, over the years, the things my mom should have! Family and closeness is where you find it!

When I get as down as you, it seems my Arkansas friend will call out of the clear blue sky and say, "I need you in my life, so you need to take better care of yourself!" Hopefully, you family is and can be more supportive of you.

Depression sucks and medication alone is not the answer, our minds are complicated. Cannabis helps, but is not a cure! It helps you get in the frame of mind to do something about it (sativa). I found this more helpful than that pill you take, which I did for years! If it isn't working and you want to remain with that line of treatment, request something that will work. I was on 5 different ones. I just can't take them due to side effects-so mmj here I am. Today, for the first time in about 5 years or more, my Dr. actually saw me laugh! I attribute it to mmj, cannacom (the support and friends I hope I've made here) and doing things I WANT TO DO. I was doing what someone else wanted for so long, I no longer knew what I wanted to do . Until I went fishing 2 years ago! I started re-discovering myself and what I like!

I am sure there is so much more to your story, but this is what has helped me and I am still working on it. Life is a daily effort for those that have been oppressed!

You are starting over and have 3 wonderful reasons to do what makes you feel good doing it! Smile at other people, it is contagious and makes you feel better! Even when strangers. I was a few mos ago. Smiled at a man with eye contact. He stopped me and said, "Thanks, I needed that and what a pretty smile!" I doubt I have that pretty of a smile, but when you are blue, any smile directed at you feels good! Give what you want! Then it will come to you.

Look for and exhibit the traits you love and it will come to you. You ain't a bad person or you wouldn't even give a second thought to your feelings and doing better!

Since, your children went thru the relationship with you, it may be that they need a little uplifting and perhaps a bit of help too, to get through it and be survivors of the abuse. With help, you will recognize it before it attacks you in the future. I had 10 good years and then all of a sudden the person I was living with changed, like over-night! Then I spent years hiding in my bedroom. The person became ill with life threatening illness and I attributed it to that and made excuse's etc. By not walking out the door, I screwed myself financially big time and am working on that now. And it was just a business partner! Can you imagine. Ends up there was embezelment, etc. and I cannot even be the person responsible for discovering it!

I am not confident in my looks, my achievements (can always be better) or much else. I am confident in the fact that I know, I will always do the right thing and not beat someone when they are already down or give them problems they don't need! I am confident, if I do the wrong thing, I will realize it or have it pointed out to me and I will make every attempt to make it right and apologize for what I did, no excuse's! Live and learn.

Paranoid, when the football team huddles on the field, I am sure they are talking about me!! I now know, I am not that important!
If I drive 10 miles to the bank and on my way home I see an accident, I worry, did I cut that person off and cause that accident! I lived my life in the rear view mirror. Now, I look forward and not backward!

I have learned so much through all my books, 12-steps for better mental behavior, therapist's and my shrink. It is a life long process for a lot of us. I plan my break-downs and take the rest and isolation I need. Right now, I need the opposite and am doing things to conquer that.

I know what I am suppose to do and what is more acceptable, but the application is not always that easy. It takes thought, most of the time and somethings just come quick and effortless. Mental balance is a balancing act and takes work for a lot of us! No one is perfect and you won't be either. Accept yourself the way you are. Love yourself the way you are. Embrace yourself for who ou are. Move on from there!

Pretty much, this is what I do and work at and will until I die! Unless, my mmj level gets to the perfect one and it just takes over. As, some depression is hereditary (runs in my bloodline) and there is nothing you can do about it, except, deal with it. Which you are. God Bless YOu and prayers your way with this battle.

I do feel there are things you may not be saying which are just as important as what you did! In a forum like this, it is a bit difficult and I am sure I have written a book, for which I apologize. It is not a yes and no question. The answer is a bit different for everyone!

Take care and :jointsmile: An interesting post and will follow! Thank you!:thumbsup:

[Purple Banana]

I had a lot of problems with depression towards the end of high school; I think it was attributed to the sudden onset of fibromyalgia, and my inability to deal with it.

Now, I am very confident in who I am, and what I do, because I tend to look at the bigger picture rather than worry about the small things. I find I get better responses from myself and people surrounding me if I do something stupid or clumsy, then laugh about it instead of being embarrassed and trying to hide the mistake. Humans will be humans, and I embrace that. It took a while to learn to love who I am, but now I can appreciate all I've gone through and what I've learned from my mistakes.

[jeepboi]

I'm confident in the sense I work hard and get shit done. I'm confident about my looks, I'm confident that I can survive and I'll always fight.

When it comes to people, especially starting a conversation for my own self-enjoyment, I'm not confidant at all. I just have terrible anxiety around people I don't know. I've come to the conclusion people naturally don't like me and I'm cool with it now, I am who I am.

Confidence, all you takes is to build it up little by little. It's like exercise, you start slow, then start doing things that are more complex and eventually you'll do them like it's 2nd nature. It worked for everything I done but social situations.

I think were all trying to fight for happiness. But I'm a patient man and eventually, we'll get out of this shit. You just have to believe it.

ha! exactly how i feel regarding the conclusion that people don't naturally like you. ive realized that it don't mean shit what strangers/acquaintenances think about me i am who i am.

on a side note confidence and arrogance are two completely different things that alot of people mix up in their lives.

i tend to be the strong silent type until i trust you, until mj then its ps3 time

[JohnnyZ]

I'm not sure.

[thedeadone]

not find the girl you once where DD. We change all the time.It sounds like your life has changed with the arival of your children.Being a parent is the most important thing you can do right now.Try and do it the best you can.You have a lot of responsability on your shoulders-----it is bound to give you a run for your money.Do not feel alone--------- all parents come to the realization that they have more to worry about than just them selves, and that is pressure.HANGE IN THERE.

[devils dream]

well i'm still working on things both my confidence and my parenting :) both are going ok. i know my life has been tough and at times it still is but i'm lucky to have as much as i do. i've made more time to be outdoors in the countryside and i plan to go on a few trips with the kids to sunny eastbourne to visit some friends and i'm building bridges with some old friends too, along with increasing my music intake and getting a cheap regular supply of green things are going in the right direction i'm looking forward to the summer.

i intend to fufil some more of the things i've been missing next venture getting back on a horse for first time in 8 years and taking my little girl along she loves them and it'll be good for us to share it.

[NextLineIsMine]

I think most people if not everyone drastically overestimates the amount of attention and judgment people give them.

I think you just gotta remember that the people around you arn't just figures, theyre souls just like your own with their own anxieties. When you feel good about everything going on in general your confidence will come back but in the mean time just appreciate that you usually judge yourself FAR more than others do

[WiTeWaSh]

I think you just need someone to acknowledge all the good and hard work you have been doing.. You know your a good person.. you do good deeds. and you take care of ur shit...

Sometimes we just need to hear it from others..

I think everyone's been in ur position. i know i struggle with a lot of what you struggle with. Some days i can look in the mirror others I cant.. Wake up and tell yourself today is good and everything is going to go smooth. That way when anything heads ur way you can conquer it.

Best of luck to you and I hope your feelings have turned around !


oh by the way im a cocky bish.. :thumbsup:

[ibetoken]

I think for most people they try to always associate the time they spend with a feeling such as content or suprised or tired. But in reality everything is reality and that means that what you are feeling now is your life, as life is not guarenteed, and it is in this way god telling you in your mind that you need to change, become happy, and live a happy life. your body is depressed because you are doing something physically or emmotionally wrong, whatever it is, and all your body knows is that it wants it to be fixed so it can become happy. Find contentment in the little things and everything will become better.

[Buddha Man]

its the weed man. it will make you see that 80% of the people you meet will be liars/backstabbers/assholes. keep your friend circle tight and never put too much trust in anyone, because a lot of times depressions stems from people letting you down.

[painretreat]

its the weed man. it will make you see that 80% of the people you meet will be liars/backstabbers/assholes. keep your friend circle tight and never put too much trust in anyone, because a lot of times depressions stems from people letting you down.

Probably the best and most important post I have read in this Forum that has to do with personal integrity!!! Excellent! PR:thumbsup:

Glad to hear you have plans on the countryside, sounds like you need it! PR

[overgrowthegovt]

The acting school I'm attending has really helped my confidence and my ability to simply not give a shit. In the field I'm entering confidence is VITAL and there is just no room for any doubt or self-consciousness. Plus, it is totally irrational to be insecure, even if you are ugly, stupid and in need of a sense of humour: such people make it all the time if they just believe. Sounds like a corny after-school special, but it's true. And any talk of being realistic is bullshit--any limitation you acknowledge will remain in effect.

[veggii]

At times in my life i have been totally confident within myself i'd go out and dance the night away without a care of what others thought, but now if i walk into a crowded environment i feel stupid like i want to leave and i dont know where it came from, i had 4 years of utter shit in my life abusive relationships,depression, moving house too many times and having three kids will all contribute to my issues i know but what worries me most is will i ever regain the confidence i once had?

i fight depression every day, i fight to be happy and get up to make breakfast do the house work and make sure everything and everyone is taken care of no matter how bad i feel, i feel like i can fight depression, but my confidence is lower than ever and having an impact in many areas of my life, its holding me back and i dont want to be held back any more i've allowed it to continue for too long all ready.

anyone got any tips on rebuilding confidence that might actually work?

are you confident now and have you all ways been that way?:)

most depression is cause by a chemical defeciency !! plz see a doctor immediately and start thr trial&error process of which style of anti-depressants wrok for you.

I myself have been battling depression , only recently realizing it & after a
doctor forced me to take anti-depressants i gotta say at about the 4 week mark they started to work and i started feeling abit better and even listening to music know, istopped my chemical anti-depressant treament at the 8 week mark as i had several episodes that were mini-siezure from that piticular
chemical i hope i'm not going to slip back into the severe depressive state i was in, iam planning to try other chemical anti-depressants and see what kinda of reaction i get them and i'll end up picking the one that works best for me, i also believe i have figured out i'm actually bipolar/MDD/adhd co-concureentbut feeling better that i had positive results from the 8 week trial.

the best thing you can do is find the wright doctor that will believe you and help you proper thru the trial & error phase i would also recomend trying the older and more proven chems as the new ones are not proven and can have potential fatal sideeffects good luck :thumbsup:

[devils dream]

most depression is cause by a chemical defeciency !! plz see a doctor immediately and start thr trial&error process of which style of anti-depressants wrok for you.

I myself have been battling depression , only recently realizing it & after a
doctor forced me to take anti-depressants i gotta say at about the 4 week mark they started to work and i started feeling abit better and even listening to music know, istopped my chemical anti-depressant treament at the 8 week mark as i had several episodes that were mini-siezure from that piticular
chemical i hope i'm not going to slip back into the severe depressive state i was in, iam planning to try other chemical anti-depressants and see what kinda of reaction i get them and i'll end up picking the one that works best for me, i also believe i have figured out i'm actually bipolar/MDD/adhd co-concureentbut feeling better that i had positive results from the 8 week trial.

the best thing you can do is find the wright doctor that will believe you and help you proper thru the trial & error phase i would also recomend trying the older and more proven chems as the new ones are not proven and can have potential fatal sideeffects good luck :thumbsup:

please stop worrying i went to the doctors and was treated for depression i am more than aware of the problems depression causes and should i ever get to the point where i need medication again i would be at the doctors without delay, my problem atm is not depression it was my confidence after depression. but thank you any way.

i would also like to say thank you to all of you who posted on here some have given nuggets of confidence building information, i am getting there and feeling a little braver all the time and just had a brilliant weekend so all good.

[luciddreamer]

most depression is cause by a chemical defeciency !! plz see a doctor immediately and start thr trial&error process of which style of anti-depressants wrok for you.

I myself have been battling depression , only recently realizing it & after a
doctor forced me to take anti-depressants i gotta say at about the 4 week mark they started to work and i started feeling abit better and even listening to music know, istopped my chemical anti-depressant treament at the 8 week mark as i had several episodes that were mini-siezure from that piticular
chemical i hope i'm not going to slip back into the severe depressive state i was in, iam planning to try other chemical anti-depressants and see what kinda of reaction i get them and i'll end up picking the one that works best for me, i also believe i have figured out i'm actually bipolar/MDD/adhd co-concureentbut feeling better that i had positive results from the 8 week trial.

the best thing you can do is find the wright doctor that will believe you and help you proper thru the trial & error phase i would also recomend trying the older and more proven chems as the new ones are not proven and can have potential fatal sideeffects good luck :thumbsup:

That's sounded like a parody....
Depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance. That is oooollld news mate. The Pharma's needed a reason to explain why ad's would work and that's what they came up with, no scientific evidence whatsoever.
Good to know you're off the ad's devils dream.
Good luck to you. :jointsmile:

[devils dream]

That's sounded like a parody....
Depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance. That is oooollld news mate. The Pharma's needed a reason to explain why ad's would work and that's what they came up with, no scientific evidence whatsoever.
Good to know you're off the ad's devils dream.
Good luck to you. :jointsmile:

i know what your saying there, but i would like to say that there is some truth in how our bodies and minds behave when lacking in certain chemicals and hormones and all though it may not be scientific a lack in seratonin cant help our moods thats why i'm working on making my life happy our body's produce seratonin but if you dont get enough daily then over time your bound to start feeling worse its a downward spiral. IMO medication does have its place to help start people on the road to recovery but i dont think that long term its a suitable solution. exercise has been clinically proven to release seratonin and other "feel good chemicals" it really helps me. i just aim to make my days feel good one day at a time some are better than others but you just have to find what things work on an individual basis.

[RobPA]

I had a good post here with something of value said about real depression.

But alas.... this site lacks good managership and the timed-out phase as usual crapped the post and signing back in to try and post again didn't work as it should have.:mad:

Then there's the posts which never do show up and should.:(

And the posts that will not show in a thread as they should.:wtf:

Add the vile foul mouthed, stoned kids who never learned better to put a diaper on their face and what's up with the lack of respect for those many who are here to get help and learn.

No wonder why there's such a negative stigma associated with cannabis.

Such foul mouthed, ignorant potheads with the mentality of a gnat who's vocabulary is riddled with diarrhea making the efforts more difficult than ever need be.

After researching and following the successes of Rick Simpson and his many patients and the novel idea of another beneficial poster to make concentrated THC oil from a pen and Ronson butane, I was able to cure the cancer lesions on my face...in FIVE DAYS!:cool:

No follow up posts and no offers in the way of thanks or helpful support or even suggestions to enable further successes.

To those guilty of rude manners, atleast clean up the diarrhea mouths and put a diaper on your faces when compelled to post.

Many people come here to investigate and learn about the many benefits of medical cannabis.

Get with it folks and be mindful that these many visitors and new members are seeking help and information about how they too might benefit by using cannabis as a medicine and not just some pathetic excuse to be stoned day in and out, day after day.

Albeit there are many here who are respectful of others and are as helpful as they know how...there are those who only blather out the stench they think is sooooo cool.

If I am the only one who feels like this about the lack of decency, respect and management of this site then I will go away and let ya all be.

Yeah thats just what we need to do, start telling everyone cannabis cures cancer, that will give us the stigma of friggen snake oil salesmen. :wtf:

[JohnnyZ]

Personally I like the "managership" of this site. They help keep us safe in times where the government sees everything we do. And this is the internet dude.. there is no winning or losing here you're just wasting your middle-aged angst posting your holier than thou attitudes. Why don't you let us do our thing? Is individuality so bad? I'm sure there are other sites where everyone talks seriously about weed. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and they won't swear at you!

And no matter what we do, cannabis will always have that negative stigma because of the propaganda that the government has been throwing in the general public's face for the last 80 years. You can't change that. Even when it's legalized, it'll take a few decades before everyone gets the sand out of their ass. Then we can toke in peace.

So until then Doobee.. smoke another bowl and calm the fuck down.

[veggii]

That's sounded like a parody....
Depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance. That is oooollld news mate. The Pharma's needed a reason to explain why ad's would work and that's what they came up with, no scientific evidence whatsoever.
Good to know you're off the ad's devils dream.
Good luck to you. :jointsmile:


are you seriuos? cause i'm back on them, as I sunk back into that severe depression black hole when I went off of them, i think i have stablized as i have'nt hung myself yet, but i keep my hangmans rope ready, so your saying the pills do nothing and its all in my head? and i should stop taking them ??
are you sure? cause i think they are ballancing the chems in my body :confused:
is it just hogwash or what,, I think your wrong based on my personell experiance

[Trip06]

When a person is put on anti depressants for what I think longer than 2-3 months up to years at a time, there is seriously something wrong with that shit. I mean If you aboslutley cant handle some shit learn to deal with it like in the old days. So many people just stay on the meds for years because they originaly started on it an maybe were going through a hard time. But YEARS of daily chemicaly altering your brain on some shit that if you suddenly stop your going to go f-n hay wire. Putting toxins into your brain daily for yrs NOT for me id rathar be sad and deal with reality. IDK thats me. But you know the pharm companies to the doctors to the drive through at wall greens they all love that you do because your a cash cow.

[Trip06]

when someone is put on antidepressants for what I think longer than 2-3 months up to years at a time, there is seriously something wrong with that shit. I mean If you aboslutley cant handle some shit learn to deal with it like in the old days. So many people just stay on the meds for years because they originaly started on it an maybe were going through a hard time. But YEARS of daily chemicaly altering your brain on some shit that if you suddenly stop your going to go f-n hay wire(thats a crutch). Putting toxins into your brain daily for yrs NOT for me id rathar be sad and deal with reality. IDK thats me. But you know the pharm companies to the doctors to the drive through at wall greens they all love that you do because your a cash cow.

You dont fix any problems taking a magic pill, go get counceling and try to figure it out/get over it. I understand some people need that extra help but Im more saying long term use is just poison.

[Italiano715]

When a person is put on anti depressants for what I think longer than 2-3 months up to years at a time, there is seriously something wrong with that shit. I mean If you aboslutley cant handle some shit learn to deal with it like in the old days. So many people just stay on the meds for years because they originaly started on it an maybe were going through a hard time. But YEARS of daily chemicaly altering your brain on some shit that if you suddenly stop your going to go f-n hay wire. Putting toxins into your brain daily for yrs NOT for me id rathar be sad and deal with reality. IDK thats me. But you know the pharm companies to the doctors to the drive through at wall greens they all love that you do because your a cash cow.

Yeah, I definitely agree with ^^^^ I had so many friend addicted to pharmaceutical prescription pills.
I had one really bad on xanex (sp?) in particular. Used to blame the world and people around her for her problems when in reality it was her own doing.
It's all in the mind if you ask me. People just take shit too seriously sometimes now-a-days. There are plenty of other ways to cope with your problems other than shoving pills down your throat everyday. For instance, just take a vape hit and everything gon' be alright (Bob Marley:rastasmoke:)

[Cyclonite]

Didn't read your entire post but rigorous exercise WILL make you feel better in terms of energy level confidence and looking in the mirror and saying wow that's me feels pretty good 2. Just remember don't loose site of your goals and consistency is 90% of it results will come in a couple months but energy will increase faster

[Cyclonite]

are you seriuos? cause i'm back on them, as I sunk back into that severe depression black hole when I went off of them, i think i have stablized as i have'nt hung myself yet, but i keep my hangmans rope ready, so your saying the pills do nothing and its all in my head? and i should stop taking them ??
are you sure? cause i think they are ballancing the chems in my body :confused:
is it just hogwash or what,, I think your wrong based on my personell experiance


Pills help but you will become dependent on them and when you go off them the world gos to shit....exercise is the best option, ween yourself of the pills slowly

[radtek]

To the OP:

There isn't anything that will change your confidence (or lack thereof) and self esteem overnight. You'll have to work on it. Accomplish some-thing important to yourself. It may be as simple as washing the dishes. Then do it again. It may take years.

Been there. Oftentimes I return like a sick animal to a mode of thinking that I just abhor. Then it feeds upon itself. I can really work myself into a state. I've learned this and recognize when it is happening and now attempt to get myself out of it immediately before I get too miserable...LOL

Many that know would tell you I'm the most confident person they've ever met. I can do things few can do. Still I have some esteem issues. Crippling PTSD with intimate relationships. I keep waiting for things to change in that area, but realize that I've done nothing at all! Why would it change then? But I'm older now and not as concerned about as I once was, but my errors are plain to me.

As perfect as any man- which is to say I'm full of defects and flaws but astounding potential too. I do not have to make the perfect grade or be like anyone else- just live my life without causing harm to others. I fail in that regard too from time to time...

I'd say I'm reasonably happy. Isn't this enough?

[bvrian]

Believe in yourself. Face your fears. A lot of drugs only make things worse and aid you in running from what you must eventually face. Talk to your doctor if you want to stop taking medication. Sober up. Know that you have the free will to make that choice to stand up for what you believe in. Live life according to your morals, according to what you believe in. Live life, instead of sitting in the back seat. Look at the good things in life that you've taken for granted. It's common sense that the world isn't perfect. Make the best of it. You're going to experience life anyways, why not take on a new perspective and look towards the good instead of all the bad. It's never too late to change your perspective. And its never too early to start. If you want something to happen, make it happen right away. The choice is yours :thumbsup:

Personally, id like to say im about a 7/10 on confidence. No, i have definitely not always been this way. I asked myself, "why am I always holding back? What is all this reserve for or protecting?" Then, I realized: You have nothing to loose. You were put on this earth, why not make the best of it?

[Euphoric7]

Push yourself into embarrassing situations, your threshold will increase. If you can, embody delusional coolness. Who would you rather meet: someone who's nervous and worried about what people think about them, or someone who expresses enthusiasm and charisma about themselves? Remember, if you don't believe in yourself, NOBODY WILL.

Besides, most people are simply worried about what others think of THEM.