New here seeking advice-severe panic disorder

[PanicQween]

Greetings everyone,

I am new here and have been searching through a lot of posts.

I have some questions I was hoping to get answers to...

I have SEVERE panic disorder, have been hospitalized for it more than once due it causing severe agoraphobia, I am also bi-polar (rapid cycling) with PTSD issues. (Yea, I'm a mess, but hey, I am still trying!) I've had symptoms since childhood-but became very ill 15+ years ago.

I take Klonopin and Zoloft-many psych meds have made me really sick-this seems to be the best "cocktail" for me. Others have left me like a zombie (Lithium for example) or have caused allergic reactions, or have made me sicker than a dog.

My biggest issue is, I have breakthrough panic attacks. We're talking severe, disabling, 8-12 hour trips to hell, until I literally pass out.

I see a lot of recommendations here for Indica strains for anxiety issues.

What I am looking for are recommendations from others who suffer from severe panic disorder, regarding strains that work well for you. Those with true panic (different from generalized anxiety disorders) know what a fine line there is between feeling OK and getting hit with that 5 ton panic brick.

My goal is to stop panic attacks as I feel an onset of one-I'd rather be able to smoke something that will assist with these symptoms (which include nausea, severe vomiting, dizziness, outrageous heart rate, ringing in ears, unable to handle ANY type of external stimulation (sound, touch etc.) rather than chew up another benzo.) I really try hard to catch these, but sometimes they come on in a matter of seconds, and at that point, it's anti-nausea meds (and xanax if I can keep one down.)

I'm looking for something that isn't so strong it will make me worse-or paranoid-something that will just let my mind and body relax without feeling so stoned that I feel sick.

All of these names of strains are so confusing-I want something that helps me feel good inside-safe-secure-and CALM.

I am heading to a clinic in a couple of weeks, and want to be well-armed with info before I go. IMHO some of the best advice to be had is from others who suffer with exactly what I do.

I'm sure you must have figured out by now that in the past I've smoked and ended up too stoned-making matters worse. Nauseated, dizzy, and on some occasions paranoia and MAJOR panic-and that-is the one thing I wanna avoid! I'm so sick of taking pills-I know I must stay on maintenence meds to stay reasonably well, because without them I cannot live- but avoiding having to take more meds and getting some relief would truly be a blessing.

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read this.

[mjslover1]

you need an indica bro. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety as well, though not quite as bad as yours. There is a section on this board that talks about about indicas as well as sativas. just look around the forum and use the search and you will find lots of answers to your questions. Just do some self experimenting with smoking and you'll find out what works best for you:rastasmoke:

[bubbleboy]

I believe this problem because of the way your brain is programmed to handle situations. lucinda bassett is pretty good with this. NLP was how I learned to reprogram myself. Cognitive thinking skills is better than ANY drug. Nutrition is important too. A good hypnotherapist can help too.
I believe most psychologist can make this problem worse.

[Hollywierdtoker]

I'm in the EXACT same boat. I have had them really bad my whole life too. The first time I smoked weed my life changed and my anxiety was able to end. Personally I respond REALLY well to the strains Blue Dream, Banana Crack, and Blue Crack. These are all medical hybrids you can find in the LA area. They work GREAT for my anxiety and help with the depression + mania. You might want to try out some GrandDaddyPurple (GDP) crossed strains too. These strains tend to be really nice for me, working in the same ways as the ones above, but not quite well enough to be my #1 choice. I've also found that HASH works REALLY well. You only have to take 1-3 hits too, and it keeps you straight, focused, and calm. I hope this helps out, and if you have more questions feel free to ask. Edibles also might be a good idea once you get use to the effects of being "medicated" (which doesn't necessarily mean high/stoned) since they tend to last a lot longer, and have a more subtle effect in the correct dosages. Along with cannabis I also can't stress enough that you need to take more control and make sure you are getting enough sleep, exercise, etc and that you stay healthy. Keep track of what meds your doc is giving you too, and make sure you see a therapist.

[PanicQween]

Thank you so much for your responses! You can't have any idea of how nice it was to wake up this morning and read such prositive, helpful posts!

I do see my awesome theraist twice weekly-and I have an excellent psychiatrist. I am very blessed in that respect...because good docs and therapists aren't easy to find. Believe me, I've been through dozens of them.
I totally keep track of my meds-I've been at this so long that it's second nature to me.

My therapist knows I have smoked to try to get some sort of relief when the panic brick hits me-no fingers pointed, no lectures, and no "don't do that." Her first suggestion? Go to the doctor and get a card so you don't get into trouble.

I have been through many years of behavior modification/cognitive therapy, outpatient daily hospitalization/therapy, inpatient, etc. etc.

This is a daily (and sometimes hourly) battle just as with any other illness, as others in my predicament well know.

Hash. Now that is something I haven't seen (or even thought of in years)but if memory serves me correctly, it used to make me feel really relaxed and calm. Do the dispenseries have hash too? And if so, which types are better choices?

What an incredible gift, to have people who truly understand to comapare notes with!!

[Hollywierdtoker]

Thank you so much for your responses! You can't have any idea of how nice it was to wake up this morning and read such prositive, helpful posts!

I do see my awesome theraist twice weekly-and I have an excellent psychiatrist. I am very blessed in that respect...because good docs and therapists aren't easy to find. Believe me, I've been through dozens of them.
I totally keep track of my meds-I've been at this so long that it's second nature to me.

My therapist knows I have smoked to try to get some sort of relief when the panic brick hits me-no fingers pointed, no lectures, and no "don't do that." Her first suggestion? Go to the doctor and get a card so you don't get into trouble.

I have been through many years of behavior modification/cognitive therapy, outpatient daily hospitalization/therapy, inpatient, etc. etc.

This is a daily (and sometimes hourly) battle just as with any other illness, as others in my predicament well know.

Hash. Now that is something I haven't seen (or even thought of in years)but if memory serves me correctly, it used to make me feel really relaxed and calm. Do the dispenseries have hash too? And if so, which types are better choices?

What an incredible gift, to have people who truly understand to comapare notes with!!Your therapist is smart, your first move should definitely be getting a recommendation from a doctor, it keeps you safe and allows you to go to dispensaries. Hash and other concentrates are readily available at many co-ops, along with edibles. Once you're at a dispensarie, if the staff is good (I can recommend a co-op in the San Fernando Valley, but idk if it's against rules or not) they should be able to direct you to specific strains to help you. Just tell them your ailment and they will tell you how certain strains have effected them and other patients. Some places will even give you free samples to test the medication before purchase. Also remember to start slow when using hash/concentrates as they are a lot more potent and may take you by surprise if you over-indulge,not always a "bad" thing, but can make daily tasks more difficult.

I think you mentioned that you take Klonopin? If so I'd maybe lower the dose, even if it's just by .25-.5 , depending on how high your dose is because of how powerful certain indicas can be. I also take Klonopin and find I don't need to use it daily because of cannabis/hash. Hope this helps! Good luck.

[PanicQween]

Hollywiredtoker-thank you so much for your advice, you are a doll!

One thing I do know is I can't skip the klonopin, not even for a day or I end up with attack after attack for more than a week-it's truly brutal.

I live inland-100 miles from the coast, so I think I need to check out some of these links to places I can go to. My plan is to roll with tobacco so that I don't overdo it, the thought of overdoing it scares me (I know you know what I mean)

I'm all for starting slow and working my way up if I need to.

Yea, I know I am SO totally lucky I have such an awesome therapist-so cool that she won't even write this stuff in my chart. She knows how much I suffer with this-and I'm blessed to have one open minded enough not to toss "non-conventional" ideas out the window. Most therapists and shrinks would have a fit.

I take it any hash should be indica from what I have been reading...I think part of my problem in the past has been that everyone seems to have sativa-and that stuff will literally make me ill-paranoid, nausea, room spinning, and panic, not a pretty picture!

Once I have a card, can I go to dispenseries any place in the state, or am I stuck going to a certain one? I haven't seen much information about that? I go up to see family in the SF Bay area, Santa Cruz, etc a couple of times per year.

Thanks again for your help, I'm beginning to feel cautiously optomistic-something not easy for me!

[Storm Crow]

There are 2 basic types- the "club card" and the "county card". Neither is absolutely necessary unless you go to the clubs.

Club card- good only at THAT club or affiliates. The cards cost money. No government record of your using - unless the club gets raided- then the feds have your name. Of course, most of us aren't worth going after. And with the change in administration coming soon, that may be a non-issue.

County card- local government issue, and I don't trust my local government! I don't have one. No clubs in my rural neck-of-the-woods, so no need either.

Take your original letter of recommendation (not a copy) and photo ID with you when you go to the clubs. For your first visit to a club, go during your doctor's business hours, so verification will go smoothly.

Smoke indica!

Granny :hippy:

[Hollywierdtoker]

Hollywiredtoker-thank you so much for your advice, you are a doll!

One thing I do know is I can't skip the klonopin, not even for a day or I end up with attack after attack for more than a week-it's truly brutal.

I live inland-100 miles from the coast, so I think I need to check out some of these links to places I can go to. My plan is to roll with tobacco so that I don't overdo it, the thought of overdoing it scares me (I know you know what I mean)

I'm all for starting slow and working my way up if I need to.

Yea, I know I am SO totally lucky I have such an awesome therapist-so cool that she won't even write this stuff in my chart. She knows how much I suffer with this-and I'm blessed to have one open minded enough not to toss "non-conventional" ideas out the window. Most therapists and shrinks would have a fit.

I take it any hash should be indica from what I have been reading...I think part of my problem in the past has been that everyone seems to have sativa-and that stuff will literally make me ill-paranoid, nausea, room spinning, and panic, not a pretty picture!

Once I have a card, can I go to dispenseries any place in the state, or am I stuck going to a certain one? I haven't seen much information about that? I go up to see family in the SF Bay area, Santa Cruz, etc a couple of times per year.

Thanks again for your help, I'm beginning to feel cautiously optomistic-something not easy for me!I understand you may feel dependent on klonopin, and in no way am I giving REAL medical advice, it's just from experience and I don't want you to be overwhelmed with sedation, or to have a bad experience/reaction, also don't disrupt taking klonopin for any reason, you might have a seizure, although MMJ could help prevent it, the chance isn't worth it.

That being said no not all hashes are indica, you can find concentrates from the GOOD RELIABLE co-ops that are sativa,indica, and hybrid. The Bay area would be a good place to go to pick up your meds, but like I said before I do have a place I really recommend in the LA area, very professional, friendly, and the best meds/variety IMO in the area :smokin:

I don't suggest using tobacco and neither will your medical cannabis doc, you should invest in a waterpipe (bong) or vaporizer. They will make dosing much easier and are healthier, vaporizor being the healthiest.

It's good that your therapist is open-minded, that will help you get an unbiased outside look on using cannabis to help you, and keep you in check if it's not working.

Also you mentioned sativas cause you panic, be sure to mention that once you get to the co-op, they'll make sure you don't pick up a strain that sends your mind sprinting. You might want to try some hybrids for daytime but you'll want to go with an indica for bed.

Some specific hybrid strains I have found to be perfect for daytime anxiety/add control, along with a mood booster which can completely destroy anxiety are Blue Dream and Banana Crack.

Hope this helps and keep us updated on your journey!

[PanicQween]

There are 2 basic types- the "club card" and the "county card". Neither is absolutely necessary unless you go to the clubs.

Club card- good only at THAT club or affiliates. The cards cost money. No government record of your using - unless the club gets raided- then the feds have your name. Of course, most of us aren't worth going after. And with the change in administration coming soon, that may be a non-issue.

County card- local government issue, and I don't trust my local government! I don't have one. No clubs in my rural neck-of-the-woods, so no need either.

Take your original letter of recommendation (not a copy) and photo ID with you when you go to the clubs. For your first visit to a club, go during your doctor's business hours, so verification will go smoothly.

Smoke indica!

Granny :hippy:

Hi Granny,

Well I certainly don't want a county card, my county is one of those that was involved in the lawsuit-so they're obviously unhappy-they don't even issue cards.

Is a club different than a dispensery? I hope these aren't stupid questions-this just seems confusing to me. Now I find out the doctor can't even recommend anyplace for me to go get my medicine? Wow. I guess that leaves a lot of the finding places up to us...

The closest doctor I can even find is about 60 miles from me. Wishing I still lived up in the SF bay area right now!

[PanicQween]

I understand you may feel dependent on klonopin, and in no way am I giving REAL medical advice, it's just from experience and I don't want you to be overwhelmed with sedation, or to have a bad experience/reaction, also don't disrupt taking klonopin for any reason, you might have a seizure, although MMJ could help prevent it, the chance isn't worth it.

That being said no not all hashes are indica, you can find concentrates from the GOOD RELIABLE co-ops that are sativa,indica, and hybrid. The Bay area would be a good place to go to pick up your meds, but like I said before I do have a place I really recommend in the LA area, very professional, friendly, and the best meds/variety IMO in the area :smokin:

I don't suggest using tobacco and neither will your medical cannabis doc, you should invest in a waterpipe (bong) or vaporizer. They will make dosing much easier and are healthier, vaporizor being the healthiest.

It's good that your therapist is open-minded, that will help you get an unbiased outside look on using cannabis to help you, and keep you in check if it's not working.

Also you mentioned sativas cause you panic, be sure to mention that once you get to the co-op, they'll make sure you don't pick up a strain that sends your mind sprinting. You might want to try some hybrids for daytime but you'll want to go with an indica for bed.

Some specific hybrid strains I have found to be perfect for daytime anxiety/add control, along with a mood booster which can completely destroy anxiety are Blue Dream and Banana Crack.

Hope this helps and keep us updated on your journey!

Hi again!

Oh boy...so much to learn. I don't mind being sedated-for me smoking at the onset of a panic attack--"I WANNA BE SEDATED" (Everyone sing along!):) In all honesty, I want to be knocked out cold-and when really edgy I want to be able to just chill out-take "that edge" off-the one where heart rate starts going up and ya think....oh...no...uh oh....

You understand Klonopin well. I got stuck once without meds for 2.5 days when traveling and had 2 seizures. Before the sezures the withdrawl was so bad that I swore I'd been sent to hell. Not on my list of things to repeat. Klonopin has been a lifesaver for me. It is the ONLY thing that worked, and gawd knows I've been through med trial after med trial--only to have nothing work or to end up sick from all the crap they were making me take.
I accepted long ago that Klonopin will be a part of my life...it's either that, or the 6 foot dirt nap. I'll take the pills-as much as I hate to, I know I need to. Ditto with the Zoloft-without it I'm on that roller coaster ride to the black hole and then into the startosphere... Trying to stop some meds has BIG BIG demons...as I found out when hospitalized and my Prozac was abruptly stopped (after several years) because they figured out it was compounding panic disorder. That was HELL on earth...addictive? No. Withdrawl symptoms? MAJOR. (That's a warning to anyone else reading this, when I started taking SSRI's, it wasn't yet known what holy hell people would go through when they stopped taking their meds-being not addictive does NOT mean you won't have some really crappy side effects when you stop taking them) The few times I've stopped taking Zoloft for a few days-bad bad symptoms. :(

I really want to NOT have to use compazine or phenergan and klonopin and/or xanax when one of these hits me..(that can be several times a week when I'm going through a cluster) I'd much rather smoke than put even MORE meds into my body...not a big goal I guess, but for me, just even just that much would be SUCH a blessing!! (Current is 1 to 1.5 mg Klonopin 2Xday and 100 mg Zoloft 2Xday and then MORE MEDS when I break through. That's where I want cannabis to come in. If it works as well as I think it will, I'll be able to cut back some on the Klonopin in a few months to maybe .75 to 1mg 2Xday-that would be righteous!

With gas prices getting a little lower, maybe I could afford to drive out that way-I'm unsure of the doctor out here because its the only one I can find, and that sort of makes me nervous. Maybe I could grow some at home too, so I wouldn't have to drive a long way as often?

Blue Dream and Banana Crack, huh? Where do they come up with these names?! When I was in high school it was thai-stick, hash oil, Columbian gold, Lebanese hash and greenbud-and that was about it!

[LolaGal]

Why not tell the prescribing doctor you want something for break thru panic attacks? I would get advice of MD regarding altering medication or adding new meds of any sort.:)

[PanicQween]

Why not tell the prescribing doctor you want something for break thru panic attacks? I would get advice of MD regarding altering medication or adding new meds of any sort.:)

I am already prescribed Xanax, Phenergan and/or Compazine for break through attacks. This is what I'd like to be able to STOP taking if I can. Being stuck dependent on all of these pills sucks.

I've dealt with this for so long that my prescribing MD/PHD allows me to adjust my meds to an extent-he knows that no one knows me better than I do, I've always been "med compliant," and if I I need to make an adjustment-even add a med (due to other sympoms not covered by the others meds I usually take) and I've been prescribed them)...he trusts my judgement. I tell him what I've done of course-he doesn't argue with me...he lets me have some sort of control over my life.

I've kept myself out of the hospital for more than 12 years now-and that isn't by accident. It's teamwork with docs and therapists, yes, but if someone is stable enough, allowing them to make choices depending on symptoms is not always a bad thing.

[LolaGal]

Sounds like a good plan for you. Hope you feel better soon and happy holidays.:)

[PanicQween]

Thanks! I am so looking forward to not being (as) paranoid-the cops in this county give me the creeps and rightfully so. At least with a MM card-I have some kind of a fighting chance should something go wrong. (I am in a rural area, and the cops are ALWAYS in the air here looking for "hot spots" etc.) so even though in a "legal" state I need to be totally careful. I just want to feel better!

You have a wonderful holiday season too! :D

[GrapeDrank]

hey man try 420.com they have list of dispenseries and dr.'s too good luck man hope you feel better soon

[PanicQween]

hey man try 420.com they have list of dispenseries and dr.'s too good luck man hope you feel better soon


Hey thank you so much! I found it at 420magazine.com and they had a lot of good info-I FINALLY found a reliable doc less about 60 miles from me, and I have an appointment next week.

THANK YOU GrapeDrank!!!!!!!:D