happysuicide
03-06-2005, 01:54 PM
if i had know that i could have that bad a time on ecstacy i never would have done it.
everyone i knew, and i mean everyone was doing pills every weekend. I hated it, because i didnt want to, but i couldnt be with them because they would want to walk for miles or dance to loud pounding music. 3 months later, my curiosity became too strong and i decided to do them. We got some blue crowns (dont know if blue ones are different in britain) and i took one. Me and my friends mike and john decided to split from the group because we wanted to walk the 10 miles back to our home town. We where walking in the pitch black down scary paths but i was having an okay time. It felt like i was drunk but wide awake. Then my mum called me. I had forgotten to tell her i was staying out. That freaked me a bit, but my friends convinced me to forget it and i did. We had a couple of joints wich buzzed me out, and then we decided to do another pill. I stupidly went along with it. When i came up of the second pill i experianced the most EXTREME DEPRESSION i have ever felt. I wanted to cry but couldnt. I was at on the road, and every time anyone spoke i told them to stop because i needed complete silence. i considered calling an ambulance but i felt that i just needed a few minutes to gather myself. I did get up a while later and we walked on a bit before getting bored and going back to the house we had come from. When i got there, i took another half cause i had cheered up. When i came up off of that one i passed out in a bed and hallucinated. My dreams where so vivid that i kept sitting up and saying things out load like 'john that dress makes you look like a girl' and then just falling asleep again. When i woke up, i immediately felt i was going to be sick, so i motion for a bag, which got there a bit late, and puke black sludge.
The next morning i didnt feel too bad about the experiance and was actually quite pleased with myself, but i convinces myself that it was the type that had made it so bad. The weekend after i bought three of these white ones that were either 'roses' 'queens' or 'smileys'. No one could decide. This time i did it with all my mates. I took one and didnt feel much of anything. A couple of my friends felt horrible and had to go home so that wasnt a good sign. We walked 5 miles to a freinds house and i enjoyed the journey as it was dark and all i could see was a completely fuzzy blur ofeverything. It was fun. But i didnt feel that happy, except for one small second where i giggled out loud. When we got to the house my skin prickled like it was on fire and i wasnt sweating. I went upstairs to the bathroom and just collapsed onto the floor. I stared at the ground and it was swaying do i lay down on it and found i couldnt move. Someone came up and i managed to get up and go to a bedroom, and someone bought me a glass of water but i didnt drink much. My stomach felt like it had ice in, and the only thing i could think of was to puke. so i did, that same black sludge, and then i tryed to sleep. I slept for a few hours, but i woke up and was on a come down. I gave the rest of my pills away and spent the rest of the night completely miserable upstairs, with people coming in to say hello, and are you okay.
i think i overheated, but i wont know. If someone asked me if i regretted it, i wouldnt hesitate to say no. Now anything that raises me heartbeat gives me flashbacks of how horrible and scared i felt, and my friends all still do it, so every weekened im worried bout them.
so think about it before you do it, and make sure your in the right frame of mind or something
everyone i knew, and i mean everyone was doing pills every weekend. I hated it, because i didnt want to, but i couldnt be with them because they would want to walk for miles or dance to loud pounding music. 3 months later, my curiosity became too strong and i decided to do them. We got some blue crowns (dont know if blue ones are different in britain) and i took one. Me and my friends mike and john decided to split from the group because we wanted to walk the 10 miles back to our home town. We where walking in the pitch black down scary paths but i was having an okay time. It felt like i was drunk but wide awake. Then my mum called me. I had forgotten to tell her i was staying out. That freaked me a bit, but my friends convinced me to forget it and i did. We had a couple of joints wich buzzed me out, and then we decided to do another pill. I stupidly went along with it. When i came up of the second pill i experianced the most EXTREME DEPRESSION i have ever felt. I wanted to cry but couldnt. I was at on the road, and every time anyone spoke i told them to stop because i needed complete silence. i considered calling an ambulance but i felt that i just needed a few minutes to gather myself. I did get up a while later and we walked on a bit before getting bored and going back to the house we had come from. When i got there, i took another half cause i had cheered up. When i came up off of that one i passed out in a bed and hallucinated. My dreams where so vivid that i kept sitting up and saying things out load like 'john that dress makes you look like a girl' and then just falling asleep again. When i woke up, i immediately felt i was going to be sick, so i motion for a bag, which got there a bit late, and puke black sludge.
The next morning i didnt feel too bad about the experiance and was actually quite pleased with myself, but i convinces myself that it was the type that had made it so bad. The weekend after i bought three of these white ones that were either 'roses' 'queens' or 'smileys'. No one could decide. This time i did it with all my mates. I took one and didnt feel much of anything. A couple of my friends felt horrible and had to go home so that wasnt a good sign. We walked 5 miles to a freinds house and i enjoyed the journey as it was dark and all i could see was a completely fuzzy blur ofeverything. It was fun. But i didnt feel that happy, except for one small second where i giggled out loud. When we got to the house my skin prickled like it was on fire and i wasnt sweating. I went upstairs to the bathroom and just collapsed onto the floor. I stared at the ground and it was swaying do i lay down on it and found i couldnt move. Someone came up and i managed to get up and go to a bedroom, and someone bought me a glass of water but i didnt drink much. My stomach felt like it had ice in, and the only thing i could think of was to puke. so i did, that same black sludge, and then i tryed to sleep. I slept for a few hours, but i woke up and was on a come down. I gave the rest of my pills away and spent the rest of the night completely miserable upstairs, with people coming in to say hello, and are you okay.
i think i overheated, but i wont know. If someone asked me if i regretted it, i wouldnt hesitate to say no. Now anything that raises me heartbeat gives me flashbacks of how horrible and scared i felt, and my friends all still do it, so every weekened im worried bout them.
so think about it before you do it, and make sure your in the right frame of mind or something