Today i felt a little anxiety and really depressed tonight

[illnillinois]

It kind of sucks, i felt it all day. I was working this evening and some customer called in to my work and said i was outside taking a personal call and i was getting loud. My boss calls me and tells me a customer called in and i was using curse words and i hadn't got anything done in the 2hrs i had been there. I was like WTF, are you serious! I am at the customers house and I am done Installed the Home alarm system. He didn't' believe me and basically sounded ready to fire me, and said he would look into it.
I mean WTF, you have a problem with me outside taking a personal call then TELL ME, don't go crying to me fucking employer!
So now i fear my job is hanging in the balance. They have been trying to 86 me, but since i kick ass and do my job they haven't had a reason and if they just fire me or lay me off they have to pay Unemployment.. I have been getting my resume together recently because I have been looking to relocate to CO. I tried trying to find a place that was affordable in cali, but ya right!
Fuck! i hate having my choices being dictated by things out of my control.

So now I have to push fucking hard to find a job and a place to live, and make it all work in the same time frame.
It frustrates me more to know I am moving to CO to be able to treat myself with weed and I am not moving with my wife and kids. I just cant help myself and my responsibilities without my meds.
I have done really well but the problem still raises it head and when shit hits the fan, it goes EVERYWHERE.
The worst part about using weed, is when i find 1/2 maybe a O, it goes well. I have to do more then smoke, it requires a change a thought pattern and behavior, but when I run out. Shit its like super bad for 3 days.. absolute hell for everyone. It always passes and I am able to manage a lot better but still have flair-ups.. Its the constant up and down that is driving a wedge between myself and family.. I cant stand how its illegal to find and use my meds here illinois.. Pisses me off more that if i wanted to drowned myself in alcohol:glugglug:, that would be just fine.. HORSE SHIT, because the GOV can tax that shit! FUCK i hate illinois and I hate the fucking war on Marijuana.
Guess this turned into a rant of some sort..

Colorado, I hope is the key to being able to help me help myself..
My goal in moving to CO is to get a stable source(im applying for a MMJ card) and picking up some serious growing skills and grow it and have it be a big enough yield per harvest to justify growing in a state wheres it not legal..

Well, if you made it this far. Thanks for reading my post.. just so upset with my options..


...db...

[hydrocannabis]

dammmmm that suck. and I would love to live in Co.
hope it all gets better soon enough.

[CaptainDank]

dude I TOTALLY get where your coming from, I'm a neighbor to your north-east, in Ann Arbor. Like you, I need my daily puff-puff for releif from anxiety. This means i have to pay a dealer, who is usually a broke, phoneless guy who sells out of his van, plus the prices around here aren't great. You California people dont know how good you have it with your dispensaries and such! :jointsmile:

Illinois, hang in there man. Keep your head up and pray for better dayz.

[stinkyattic]

What about a decrim state in the Northeast, like Maine? Even non-med is decrim under certain numbers/weights... and it's pretty there.

Cheer up man, don't let that shit get to you. That dude who called you in probably has a crappy sex life. That's why he's grumpy.

[thcbongman]

As a general philosophy you should update your resume every 2 weeks. Even if you perform a job that is redundant, you might've encountered a scenario that was beyond your job description or you have data pertaining to be a top performer. You can utilize those experiences on your resume when transitioning to other positions. So if you didn't update it, you might've forgotten about those experience and you lost out. You should also keep your resume open on places like monster.com and stuff, even if you are being inactive about it. After all, you don't want to be stuck in a job you don't like with rude customers and you suffering from paranoia because of job security. Are you sure it's not just paranoia? I think most companies are more reasonable to not fire someone because of bad feedback from one customer. If it were more consistant, I'd worry. I been paranoid about getting fired to the point that I thought it was a sure thing. Hasn't happened.

[Testament]

As a general philosophy you should update your resume every 2 weeks. Even if you perform a job that is redundant, you might've encountered a scenario that was beyond your job description or you have data pertaining to be a top performer. You can utilize those experiences on your resume when transitioning to other positions. So if you didn't update it, you might've forgotten about those experience and you lost out. You should also keep your resume open on places like monster.com and stuff, even if you are being inactive about it. After all, you don't want to be stuck in a job you don't like with rude customers and you suffering from paranoia because of job security. Are you sure it's not just paranoia? I think most companies are more reasonable to not fire someone because of bad feedback from one customer. If it were more consistant, I'd worry. I been paranoid about getting fired to the point that I thought it was a sure thing. Hasn't happened.


awesome advice, im going to do it!! thanks!

[illnillinois]

I got a 1/2 of some funk nasty horrible tasting "compacted"aka brick weed.. but im ripped so Wooo.. its good to be norml again. Im serious, I know its a state of mind, but i know what works for me..

:rastabong:

..qP..:upsidedow

[konvikt419]

keep your fingers crossed its going to the house for a vote so hope for the best