PLEASE!!!! I need some advice

[inyoureye]

First off I'd like to thank you all for your help and I ask that you please be serious on this subject.


Ok here's the situation. My dad smokes often, he works so hard and he is honestly the best father that I have ever seen (but that really isn't important for this). I myself smoke often, both my parents know. I am 18 and they know that I am responsible. The only thing is, they do NOT want my little brother knowing that I smoke, he already knows our dad does. I don't want him to know I smoke either, but I'm afraid that he may already know. I think he's smelled it on me. My little brother (14 years old) has told me that he has smoked mutliple times, I do not know if he does it regularly. He has asked me if I ever smoked and I casually tell him, "No, it causes to many problems and I don't want that influence in my life". My father feels that it is his fault that I smoke (completely my choice) so we do not talk to each other about smoking. So if he knew my little brother is a possible smoker he'd probably be devistated. The thing is with me and my parents both pushing off the subject, while at the same time smoking; I don't think he's getting the proper guidence on the subject. He is just starting high school and I don't want his little punk ass no good friends too end up having the most influence on him. I just want to make sure that he knows not too do anything REALLY stupid, no matter what the fuck someone tells him.

Here are the options I've come up with so far...

1. Tell my parent's that he's smoked before and that he may know I smoke, and that we all need to sit down or something. (Problems with this: I'd be busting out my brother, my parent's could end up flipping on the both of us, and most of all MY DAD WOULD FEEL HE IS WORTHLESS)

2. I talk with him myself and just lay it out there for him.

3. Don't do anything and hope that he can be smart about this.

[smalltoke]

Bro, you are faced with one hell of a problem. I truthfully believe this is a family matter, and should be resolved that way. True, your dad will feel he is useless, but if your little bro does start smoking, Will your parents find out? most likely. You chould talk to the little guy your self, but do your parents want him to know you smoke?


1st scenario, you talk to your whole family as one, and you resolve this issue. Your bro will probably start regardless, thats just human will. Your dad may feel completely useless, or he may see the sense, and note that, your little bro has smoked, but he had no control over it. Yuor parents probably wont let him do it, but that is the only way to keep the safe, seeming as he will probably end up doing it anyways.


2nd scenario, You talk to your little bro one on one, man to man, and you tell him that, he shouldn't smoke anything until hes 18, especially pot,because of the bad influences. He may be more liable to listen to you, depending on your background.

3rd scenario, you ride the waves, and hope you dont go under. Your bro, having no guidance, will smoke, and your parents will find out eventually. When this happens, liek you said, your parents may flip out, and your dad will proabably feel useless.


Just my advice, i suggest you talk it out with your parents. Tell them that, he will most likely do it sooner or later, and if you let him do it at a age of like 16 or 17, he may hold back till then, because of the beauty of freedom. By letting him smoke at 16 ot 17, he will be out of the dangerous where there are cops, more infuences, and dangerous situations.

Anyways just my opinion, hope to shed some light on this subject. Good luck man, your in tighter than a camels toe.


stay :).

[smok3y]

Tough situation dude, you should sit ur wee bro down and have a chat to him and just give him the big brother talk, explaining the situation with your dad..

Then have a sit down with the family or ur dad and bro and try and sort some thing out between you's, makin sure your dad dosent feel like shit after by blamin himselfs for you's smoking...

Hope it all work out dude... Good Luck;)


:jointsmile:

[Storm Crow]

First off, you and your Dad need to talk! Preferably without anyone else being around. You are both adults- act like it! Roll a fattie and talk! Tell him it isn't his fault that you smoke- you made your own informed decision!

You said that you are a responsible user, so aside from the legal issues, where is the problem? Does he freak if you drink a beer? Why does he feel he is a failure, if you do what he does? What is his relationship with your grandfather like? That may also play into this situation. His fear being of an inadequate father came from somewhere.

He needs to accept you as an adult (it's tough, been there) and you need to reassure him that he has been a more than adequate father.

Your brother is another story! I work in education, and most of the 13/14 year olds that I know smoke, have ADD, ADHD or other learning disabilities. How are your brother's grades? I wonder if he may be self-medicating? It's pretty common. (check the link in my sig)

14, in most cases, is a bit young to start toking, but I had one ADHD kid failing badly, but then he apparently got hold of a good connection. He would come to school some days, just REEKING, and he did his best work on those days. :thumbsup: (The teacher and I just would look at each other, shake our heads and say nothing.) I think that the pot slowed him down enough that he could think. Between the pot and my tutoring, he passed 8th grade by the skin of his teeth!

But really I think your best line of action is to get your relationship with Dad back on track first, then deal with baby brother's situation with Dad as your ally and friend.

-Granny:hippy:

[stinkyattic]

Stormy's right! (Why am I not surprised? :D)
It sounds like you and your dad, as two role models to your bro, should sit down together and discuss the whole situation. It also sounds like you have a really good handle on the different aspects of it, and will be able to talk to your dad, and your brother if that is what you and your dad think is best, about the risks and benefits of medical marijuana.
I am of the strong opinion that the line between medication and abuse is defined early on, and that reinforcing the fact that one should not use substances recreationally that are intended as medicines is a very good way to approach this. So in your conversation with your father, maybe you two should brainstorm, honestly, your own reasons for toking, so that you have a good case for yourselves. Do you see signs of anxiety, insomnia, or ADD in your own person? These are SO common among adults, that chances are you can say honestly that yes, you do receive positive medical benefits from it, and are aware of that fact, and that is why you choose to continue using it.
14 is a bit young in my opinion too, and I think that even if a young smoker DOES have a legitimate need to medicate that way, it is very important that he has some guidance from a parent or medical professional- it is hard for minors to make these judgements for themselves, not having had lots of world experience, and also since the hijinx of teenagers often lead to arrests and possession charges that can put a financial strain on the family and interfere with their number one job, which is to get an education that positions them to live a happy and self-reliant life.

[Danyoson]

I agree with stinky and storm. I think 14 is too young but then again he's in High school, he's going to do what he wants. Best thing you can do is talk to him and shoot'm straight. Don't make his decisions for him but teach him how to make them for himself. And talk to your Dad too. The truth always sets you free!!!:D