Substitution Container size?

[FatalShock]

I've been browzing for some time, but have read a few different quantities. I have an ideal container that is 4oz., but I have read that I will need from 2 to 6oz. What is the norm?

BTW: This will be a pre-employment screening for an insurance company. While I am not a regular smoker, this interview came out of nowhere and I enjoyed a few too many tokes a couple days ago, and from what I have heard, they will definitely deny a diluted sample at the facility.

[FatalShock]

BTW: The PDF I was sent consenting to the screen states that it will be an observed test. How strictly do they inforce this? Could it just be a scare tactic? Can a private company make you do this? I mean, granted, if you opt out you don't get the job, but the person I know employed there says they just stood outside the door. Can I use the "stage fright" line if they do want to watch? How likely is this to work? Just wanting to cover all bases, since this job will mean the difference of geting a mortgage or not, and I need this. I'm so pissed that they ignored my application for months and then I finally smoke (A LOT!) days before the scheduled test! Karma is a bitch!

[Deige]

2oz is the what they usually ask for but if it makes you feel more comfortable then use the 4oz bottle. Most pre-employment UAs are not observed, but your consent paper isn't so reassuring. I would follow the dilution method the morning of the test and take your substitute with you as well. If they stand over your shoulder then you atleast have a chance with dilution. Make sure you practice with your sub temperature and keep it around 96-98 degrees.

[FatalShock]

Absolutely agreed. Now, I've read over the FAQs and Stickys thoroughly and will be diluting also, but I'm concerned about how I was told they will flunk you for a diluted or suspicious sample. Can this typically be argued, or is it a "Too bad" type of mentality typically?

Now, I have a mouthwash container that (to spare you the details) fits nicely in my tighty-whities. Does an observed test typically take place in a urinal, or a unisex bathroom with a toilet? Do they watch you from behind, or do they insist on watching "the point of origin" directly? I'm about to do some practice runs, but I feel that due to the type of container I have, I may be able to release the urine out in a believeable way even when observed. Another question is, would doing these tests with plain H2O be reliable? Meaning, is the warm up/cooldown time of urine similar if not the same to urine, or will I have to use the real deal for my preliminary practice sessions in my bathroom?

[killerweed420]

Water works fine for testing for temp. If I was observed for a pre-employement UA I would walk out. I know its tough when you need a job but this is so a violation of civil rights. Awhizzinator is always an option for a pre-employement test but expensive. If your handy you could build your own and strap a small tube to the bottom of your penis. If you're a female its even easier.

[FatalShock]

Well, I had my good friend come over and asked him to be completely honest and watch me as I "pee" from behind and tell me what he would think if he was giving me the test. The container i have has a screw on top with a little flip out spout. The way I keep it in my tighty-whities I was able to get it to temp, flip it open and "pee" into the toilet and the cup perfectly without a sound other than that of the realistic sound of a stream of pee pee. I think I have this nailed, even if it's observed. I will surely let you guys know what the result is in the next couple days. Thanks a lot for your help, guys. I would still love to get the answers to some of my unanswered questions from the last couple posts I made in this thread. Can anyone help me out?

[killerweed420]

Be sure and practice with the pour tip. In my experience it makes a whishing sound after you've squirted in the cup. Thats a little hard to explain to the person watching.lol

[Deige]

The test should be in a unisex bathroom with a toilet and if they observe you it will most likely be from behind. There could also be a mirror on the wall in front of you that they can watch as you pee. Most pre-employment screens will retest you after a negative dilute, but if yours states otherwise I would be skeptical. If you follow the dilution method to a T you will have a very minimal chance of a negative dilute.

[FatalShock]

There's one factor I've forgotten...Is substitution Illegal? Meaning, If I fumble and drop the container, or get caught somehow, will I be leaving the tesating facility in handcuffs? I mean, granted it's not for probation or for any other court ordered type thing, but could this still be a problem? I live in Florida, so I'm not sure if this is a state to state topic, or what, but now I'm getting scared!

[killerweed420]

It is illegal to sub for UA's but I've never heard of anyone getting arrested or charged with anything. Unless you're on probation, then the shit starts to roll down hill fast.

[FatalShock]

So, what if they simply suspect it was subbed? Like, if they hear something like the bottle, but don't see anything? What would happen in that case?

[killerweed420]

In my experience they just mark on your form adulterated and they call the prospective employer. As long as you're careful no one will know you're subbing. Just don't make no goofy noises. I can cover up a little noise by farting. I'm very talented and can pretty much fart on will.lol

[FatalShock]

You're a cool guy, killer. Thanks fer the advice.:pimp:

So you've failed before?

[killerweed420]

No Never failed in 20 years of drug testing. I try to make sure I'm prepared for what ever they through at me.

[FatalShock]

Last question. I finally got my friends donor smaple, and it he was only able to go like 2.3 oz. I know they usually require only 2, but would it be a good idea to thin it out with some spring water to get more out of it? Just curious if I'll even need to.

[FatalShock]

It's getting close, guys. Bump.

[killerweed420]

I wouldn't thin it with tap water. I would use distilled water or heavily dillute your own urine the morning of the test. Just use what you've got and if they ask for add a little of your own.
Be sure and get the temp right.
And your 100% sure your friend doesn't take any meds?

[FatalShock]

He's as clean an a bar of Ivory soap. I'll be fine.

So here's what happened. I went for the interview, and it took a surprising turn which worked out in my favor....BIG TIME. They decided I was over qualified for the position I was applying for, and rescheduled a second interview for a higher position early next month. Thank the lord, I now have time to flush myself out. Well...at least not before a few more fatties in celebration! WooHOO!!!:D

[killerweed420]

Everything is golden:D

[FatalShock]

Everything is indeed golden, including my heavily vitaminized urine!
Actually, I just wanted to post an update.
I went this morning for my interview...the one I was expecting my pee test...
Well, long story short, they were very receptive to my interview, and I think I have it in the bag, but they made no mention of a drug screen at all!? They simply said that I would hear from them in one to two weeks. Now, there's no way to tell if I got the job, since there were ten people there and they will be hiring 5. It was an odd interview..they broke us off into teams of 3 and interviewed us as groups and asked us to simply answer the questions in any order...just speek up...it was odd, but the other folks were real stupid, so I think I'm good.
Anyway, I'm guessing if they call me in one to two weeks, they will let me know if I got it, and schedule the drug test then. I'm kind of pissed (pun intended) because I've gone so long without, and spent a small fortune on everything from creatine, to Vitamin B. I guess I'll have to refrain from enjoying the rather gorgeous greenery I purchased in anticipation of tonights celebration. Either way, I'm glad to have had a resource like this board. You guys are great! With an extra week or so to go, I'll surely be fine. Thanks again guys! I'll let you all know what happens soon!:thumbsup:

[killerweed420]

It sounds like great news. I would still stay off the weed till they drug test you and they probably will after they've made the decision to hire. Then just be prepared for the randoms. Would be a pisser to go through all this just to get nailed a couple months up the road.

[FatalShock]

Thank goodness I got the inside scoop on that one. I have family inside the business, and the only random isn't random at all...it's usually only in the case of an accident, and unless my cubicle trys to eat me I think I'll be fine! Going to keep a QF kit close by, though. They don't test on site, so I would surely swing by home on my way to the lab! I would never have known this stuff if not for you guys. Thanks again.

And on a side note, I'm not sure what the final conclusive judgement is these days on the question of if marijuana is addictive or not, but I can assure you I have been craving a buzz like crazy, and have been suffering from severe headaches that I havn't had in years. Ironically, these headaches are the reason I began smoking occasionally. Even occasional use seems to dull the pain (actually, it eliminates it!) for a good amount of time in ways even prescription migraine meds could never do for me. I would assume that this is the result of my body finally ridding itself of those glorious "toxins", but oh how I yearn to be free again.
It seems that many people on this site take advangage of the fact that marijuana is so readily accessable weather in a medical format or not, but it's times like this that I can truely relate to those who more than just want to justify getting blazed. There's no denying what it can do for those in pain, and I can't stress enough how important this site is.
Take everything on here seriously, and realize that recreation is only a small aspect of what green can offer.
As always, much love, much respect, and much thanks. -Fatal

[killerweed420]

Shouldn't be anything illegal about feeling good.:jointsmile:

[FatalShock]

I GOT THE JOB!!!
I just didn't get the pee test yet...
As a matter of fact, I have no idea when it will be, either.
What happened after my last interview was a bit of a shocker. They ended up calling me back after 3 days when they told me I'd hear from them in a week or two. The woman told me they were floored by my interview, and said I was an automatic hire for an even BETTER position! This is the 2nd time I've heard this. It's a big company, so I doubt they'd waste my time pulling my leg about this all, but I now have to wait for the reccomended position to be available, and to check back frequently. It's like the green gods are pissed at me for some reason. I've gone this long, so I'm gonna tough it out and stay clean. I figure this way even a light dilution would be good if even necessary. It's already been damn near a month, so we'll just have to wait and see.
I've been taking several supplements for the past week and a half and will continue to up until the test. These are them:

1: GNC Chewable Creatine Monohydrate
2: GNC Triple Lecithin 1200
3: B12 500mcg
4: GNC Big 100 (b-complex with 500%+ of thiamin, riboflavin, niacin,B-6,folic acid, B-12, Biotin, and pantothenic acid)
5: GNC B-Complex 75 Complete

and a regular regimen of 12 12Oz. glasses of water a day, as well as an Asprin or two every night, and the occasional long walk at night to burn some fat.

Anything I'm missing that you guys would suggest?

Thanks again.

And BTW, my headaches are starting to get real severe...any natural remedies that you guys know of other than a bowl pack?

[tomm01]

Just wanted to add that if you want to dilute the shit out of your piss (lol) by drinking heaps of water before hand you can take a multi-vitamin, they seem to make your piss real yellow. :thumbsup: Good luck!

[Deige]

Just wanted to add that if you want to dilute the shit out of your piss (lol) by drinking heaps of water before hand you can take a multi-vitamin, they seem to make your piss real yellow. :thumbsup: Good luck!

He did read the post above yours. :thumbsup:

[tomm01]

The post above mine was his own post. Anyway I just assumed he was using the vitamins he stated to help with metabolism or something. I don't know what GNC is all I was saying is the multivitamins turn ya piss yellow.