My story and how I'm addicted to marijuana, help..

[chrons]

Hope everyone had a nice 420 first off :thumbsup:

To start out, I've been smoking for 3 years, everyday. My habit started in college, I also withdrew out of my second semester, I wont blame the pot, but I began having extreme anxiety and stopped going to class.

I came home and continued smoking everyday, and more since I didn't have a job.

I then found a job, and began working full-time at 12 an hour as an entry level contractor. I continued this job for about 8 months, and after 8 months, no health benefits still, which were promised and very important (am I 20 now) I made the decision to quit after a lot of BS on top of it.

I manage to stay high all day everyday now still, even without a job. Either friends, or the rare dry bowl hits, and occasionally finding coin to buy my own.

Now it's been about 2 months of me doing nothing but smoking and living back home. My parents remain clueless about my smoking, but are very disappointed in me and they think I am very depressed.

I'm going to be 21 soon now, and need some change, but after smoking so much for so long, I kind feel as if I lost who I was? I don't do any of the things I used to do, smoking all the time has made me somewhat numb to emotions, and hard to relate in social environments. I suffer from extreme anxiety which was treated with xanax, but I am a firm NON-believer in these crazy chemicals, so I put them aside.

My days now consist of smoking, eating, sleeping, internet, video games, music, in one giant slow stoned cycle.

Now some may think it's awesome, but it's not, I have no car, I have no money, I'm in debt with credit cards, no prior work for a resume, I pretty much turned into what I never wanted to be, and I'm lost.

I'm writing this to you all hoping someone has experienced something of the like, or thinks maybe the pot is working against me now?

I've never taken a break from pot, as many times as I've tried, and I am honestly a bit afraid :(

I now feel like I've missed the boat to life, and am stuck in the rocks with nothing. I don't want to go flip burgers, my grades from college previously will affect me ever going back to school.

What would you do?

[Dutch Pimp]

Time to re-invent yourself.

[headydankness]

i'd say go try to do something active every day. Sports is always fun, but my favorite is making and growing a garden. Even if your at your parents house, trust me it takes work but at the end of the day you feel so much more accomplished. Also try to lay of the video games, i dunno i used to game for a long and when i final quit i feel actually motived to go out and just do something. Yes smoking pot can depress you, But that normally comes when you smoke because your bored. And when you bored you lack motivation to unbore yourself, plus depending on the person weed can motivate or unmotivate(it normally increase a feeling you have fear, happiness ect.)? So i say yeah keep smoking, maybe lay off lil bit, but try smoking when your doing something productive it will make that feeling that your out there doing something allot better and make you feel better at the end of the day (it can depend on the person, so my best advise is if that doesnt work just try smoking a lil less)

OH also, try to stop taking your xanax for awhile and just see how you do,cause i know people who are just zombies on that stuff. lol i forgot another, definatly try to find a job and stick with it, its a good way to become more social and meet more people

GL bro

[Innominate]

It's a fucked up world and it's not your fault, but you should take responsibility for it, to change it and make it better.

Try and look for an outdoor job? Yard maintenance? Painting houses? Peace Corps?

[Dream of the iris]

man that sucks. I kind of know how you feel except not half as extreme as that. Though those truth commercials are taking pot waaaay out of context for some people those things can exhibit some truths. Lets face it pot is awesome but its not necessarily for everyone(lord I can't believe I said that). Now I'm not saying to just up and quit for good because you can still enjoy pot and life at the same time. What I usually do is only smoke on Friday's and Saturday's and then I tell myself that I'm gonna not smoke pot work really hard and then come Friday I can reward myself with some nice bud. Of course this isn't gonna work for everyone but its important to at least find some moderation like maybe smoke every other day or only in the evenings instead of all day.

The very last thing about you saying your grades ruin your chances of ever going to college is total bullshit. This is why they invented community college so people who screw up can get back on their feet. So my first advice is to learn to use pot in moderations....and if that doesn't work than just try to quit it for good. Next step is to find a job. Now it doesn't have to be that super awesome contractor job but as long as it gets you some money then its good. Start saving as much as possible and then enroll yourself in a community college. Get the credits you need and the grades up by trying really hard and then transfer to real college and go from there.

Good way's to ween yourself from pot.....activities. Find a new hobby. Find some friends who don't smoke or better yet find a straight laced girlfriend. Anything to keep your mind off of it and you're straight. If none of those help perhaps using extreme measures such as getting your parents to randomly drug test you and threaten to kick you out of the house might be good. Fear can be a good motivator. I know it kept me in line for two years without pot. Really sucked but it paid off. Anyway you've heard all of this before so it probably won't help sorry dude.

[invision]

i dont want to sound like a dick but i have smoked weed for years and had to stop here and there and i do not have these so called withdrawals so to speak, the problem is YOU not the weed, if you feel this way from weed then the best thing is to put it down and walk away but im sure the problems you have you created not the weed.

[Markass]

I would get up off of my ass and quit feeling sorry for myself, getting stoned, and being lazy.

Life is a complex game of choices my friend, wise ones equate to success, and poor ones result in failure...You seem to have made a lot of poor choices, and are continuing to do so.

You're not addicted to marijuana, you're addicted to not wanting to do jack shit but get stoned, because it's easier to do that. You can make yourself get a job and be successful in your life just as easily as you've made yourself get to where you are.

Is it really fun to scrounge up money to try and get high like a crack fiend, and mooch?? Or would it be more fun to get a job and be able to buy pot and have your own vehicle??

[Ganj]

It is only you and yourself now, my friend. And for an element of sensitivity I completely understand your plight. In fact, I am in a similar battle myself. I am also twenty years old with no job, no car, and worst of all I have no help but that of my own and of what I observe and experience. What you need are some new ideas to help yourself, which you are evidently capable of doing. For example, when you are craving the good herb--do you or do you not find a way to stoned?

The concept of re-inventing yourself might seem a tad bit intimidating for the reason that it really does not help. Invision found a way of bringing it back home, and putting the power of change in your own hands because that responsibility can only belong to you. I would try listening to the thoughts and feelings of people around you. Talk to someone you can trust. Now I can only speak for myself but I also experience anxiety in social situations, mostly when I believe I am victim of someone's smart-ass comments. And I found that the resolve was not lashing out but understanding the message woven into the words.

I struggled trying to understand why my friends made such comments, for a very long time as a matter of fact. It was so bad at times that I began to believe their comments, which only did damage to the way I felt about myself. For example, I would literally cringe at the sound of the word "faggot" or "bitch," because I felt like those words were directed toward me, then tonight I rationalized that perhaps those words were appropriate because I was acting like a bitch or someone who was too co-dependent. Like the words described the way I behaved.

Now some might place emphasis on activity, like running around to feel better about yourself. However I believe a solution rests in mental activity as opposed to physical activity. Take your social trauma as a lesson to learn more. You will undoubtedly and instinctively find a solution to your social anxiety, and you will even begin talking more and understanding more. A lot can be learned when we stop, listen, and think.

[birdgirl73]

Moderating
I want to remind respondents that just because your experiences personally differ from the OP's doesn't mean that his problem's not valid. Cannabis is a medicinal substance. So everyone responds to it differently.

Now for my own response to the post:
So we start with the fact that cannabis is a plant-based drug, which it is. And despite what people like to cite as the it's-impossible-to-get-addicted-to-cannabis argument, there really are people who can. Just like there are folks who get addicted to food. To shopping. To video games. Or to the regular old stand-bys of withdrawal-addiction substances like painkillers, alcohol, and withdrawal-craving response illicit drugs. In a specific type of brain with a specific type of neurotransmitters and a tendency for substance receptors to begin work in concert systemically, cannabis addition can be very real. It's a matter of the opioid, caffeine, cannabinoid, and alcohol receptors beginning to respond together as a system in an addictive fashion. This is why these people even have withdrawal symptoms, probably (because the opioid and alcohol receptors are triggering that response).

Here's a really good, bibliographically sourced site with information about this phenomenon. There's much more information out there to be read, too. Follow some of the links in this site. Talk to a medical school librarian or anyone who's done g-protein/cannabinoid/endocannabinoid research.
The Why Files | 4. Recognizing drug receptors (http://whyfiles.org/225drug_receptors/index.php?g=4.txt)

The bottom line, Chrons, is that pot probably is working against you because you have that brain chemistry. So you can numb out on it and let the rest of your life go into the crapper. Or you can face up to the fact that you're not one of those people who can smoke it in moderation and begin work on the process of recovery. By the way, you're not doing your anxiety any favors, either, with it. It's almost certainly making your anxiety and depression worse. You're contending with addiction in addition to anxiety and depression.

Do you know how to seek some help for yourself? A referral from your doctor. A visit to your county mental health service. Those are good places to start. You probably need some sort of program through which to begin to facilitate recovery. And you could stand to be open to being evaluated for medical treatment of another kind. Depression and anxiety, especially if you're self-medicating, don't tend to get better on their own. You may be strongly opposed to prescription meds, but you're medicating yourself already, only with a fairly random dosage and different strains of medicine.

[Ganj]

I would get up off of my ass and quit feeling sorry for myself, getting stoned, and being lazy.

Life is a complex game of choices my friend, wise ones equate to success, and poor ones result in failure...You seem to have made a lot of poor choices, and are continuing to do so.

You're not addicted to marijuana, you're addicted to not wanting to do jack shit but get stoned, because it's easier to do that. You can make yourself get a job and be successful in your life just as easily as you've made yourself get to where you are.

Is it really fun to scrounge up money to try and get high like a crack fiend, and mooch?? Or would it be more fun to get a job and be able to buy pot and have your own vehicle??

Just a comment about failure:

Aristotle believed failure to be just another form of productivity so do not feel down because something does not work like you think. As for the choices you make, everyone instinctively knows right from wrong. And if that is too bold of a claim it is at least clear enough to me that YOU UNDERSTAND RIGHT FROM WRONG. Just do your part to not make bad choices. Keep yourself safe from trouble because the trouble one can get into with the law is a far worse reality than anything else life can present.

I listened to a report of a young man not much older than yourself. His name is Travis Wolfkill and he is now facing a life-sentence in prison because he killed his grandmother over a $300 tax refund check. And I thought to myself, "this guy's life is effectively over now because he would not control his temper. He has to live the rest of his life in prison for an unjustifiable crime." Researchers want to believe that killers are different from the rest of us but all it takes is a choice. The idea is that he would not have made the choice to destroy someone's life had he been guided down a better path or equipped with good knowledge. But he was not. His reasoning mind confirmed that killing someone was the right path to take. Was that his only option? In reality, no it was not. I want you to understand is that we always have a choice. For some the knowledge may be acquired too late.

Take notice of yourself. Do not make decisions on a whim.

[NextLineIsMine]

Smoking is obviously getting in your way, quit it or continue to perpetuate the cycle youve got yourself into

[Ganj]

Another piece of helpful advice. As humans, we are motivated by reason. In the story of Travis Wolfkill, sometimes our reasons that compel us to action can be misguided. However that should not stop us from giving ourselves a purpose in life. We will make mistakes and we will find that our reasons need to be refined. Know what you want and take the driver's seat in your life.

[netdog]

Being high on anything all day every day is not going to do anyone any good. Too much of pretty much anything is usually destructive, partake of all things in moderation my friends.

I can relate a bit, I dropped out of high school at 16, worked minimum wage jobs until my 20's... Never went to college. Smoked since I was about 15 and tried about every drug out there. That was back in the 70's. I was in a bad place and wasting my life. If I only knew then what I know now....

Your life is never over until it's over. In your 20's you don't even have a full grasp of what your life can be.

I wised up and started my own business at about 25 after many low pay jobs, a landscaping business. Sure it failed as most businesses do but I learned from it.

Several attempts and a few more low paying jobs and 10 years and I'm pulling in 6 figures from a company I started with 3 partners and negotiating a sale of the business for 20mil. Now i'm still pulling in a 6 figure salary from the company I started when I left that one.

I've reinvented myself several times in my life. I never do any one thing for more than about 5 years before it gets too stale and I start losing motivation and get lazy, then I must go do something different and interesting. Usually risking all I have to go do it, but it keeps me sane and happy and challenges me.

I'm 50 now and about to go reinvent and start over again... I'll be learning a trade that interests me and this time doing it as a one man business.

Anyone can do it, and at a young age it's even easier, but not if you hide by escaping into drug haze and video games.

You ask what would I do? I would get on top of that anxiety, and get control of it. Face that fear and defeat it. Anxiety is fear, a conditioned response that can be retrained, though you may need help to do it.

Find something that interests you, that you can be passionate about, something you can wake up in the morning and can't wait to go do, and get a job related to it. Learn all you can and move on to making your own business doing it. Use pot as a reward after accomplishing something rather than to escape life.

All you need in life is anything you can learn to do that someone will pay you enough money to live on for doing. Better if you enjoy doing it. That's it. After that it's all what you choose to do with your time.

Try to train yourself to not fear anything, or stress over anything, because in truth whatever you fear or stress over is usually no more real than you convince yourself it is, and fear and stress never help any situation, they only make it worse.

If you want to start, try this... Every day do at least one productive thing, apply for a job or clean house, just one thing productive that gives you some sense of accomplishing something. Then do one thing for someone else, something nice for someone that they will appreciate. Just one, every single day, don't toke till you've done it and things will start looking up real fast.

[Euphoric7]

Take a break from weed. Enough time for you to "forget" what it's like to be stoned. During this time you WILL (I repeat) WILL need to find a hobby to replace the weed such as chewing gum or something.
You can use this time to get your life in order with your debt and things. Once you're out of the hole, develop yourself as a person. Being high all the time isn't a personality trait and you need to find something to define YOU.
Once you've done the following...

Solved your financial problems as much as possible
Defined yourself as a person with something else
Forgotten what being high even feels like
Experienced naturally generated "reward" feelings (like compliments on hard work)


after this has been accomplished, if you still want to... you can try smoking with friends to ADD to fun (not make it). Set limits for yourself and be STRICT to not cross them. This will prevent you from ending up where you are now. One last little tip: use weed as a "reward" for yourself. Like, if you run a mile around your street, use it to congratulate yourself.
-----------------------------
That's about all I can tell you right now. This took quite a while to type, I hope I get some nice rep for this:D. And good luck to you!

[inbud]

the above advice is golden,
i have been on and off all my life (all kinds of drugs)
and i have to say, you can still go back to college, grades dont mean crap, your old ones i mean. what you do next is what matters, you can go back to college.
You can do with your life what You want, just knowing you have a problem is the first step to a cure.

Good luck bud, i really mean that, pot is not everything, sex is not everything, life is everything!

[beachguy in thongs]

If your literary skills are decent, I suggest reading Napoleon Hill's, "Think and Grow Rich". You'll have direction after your first reading.

[Weedhound]

Wow...some REALLY great thoughts written here. The fact that not everyone is the same as far as addictions go is a HUGE truth......so thanks again BG for reminding us that just because you don't see it does NOT mean it isn't there.

The point about making choices is excellent as well. Despite what you think chrons you ARE making choices about your cannabis use quite a few tiimes a day.....every day.

If you are scared to be without it then you indeed have a problem. (And for all those who say pot CAN'T be addictive....think about cigerettes. Addiction doesn't mean you'll fall over in a seizure if you can't get whatever it is you "need" for goodness sakes!! Logic people!! )

Addictions are MUCH better fought in support groups. I'd bet 100 to 1 there's one for cannabis or hash or something in your area. Look around and go see what's its about. Might indeed be the direction you are looking for.

Good luck.

[Lit Up]

I, as netdog put it, reinvented myself once already. I did it when i was 20 yrs. old. Similar to your current situation only in mine I had thought I knocked up a girl. So, I did the smart thing, didn't go back to college after my freshman year, went back home, got a job, moved in with her.

BAD IDEA!! - long story short found out it "may" not be mine, we split, I stayed working. Anyhoo, pot was draggin me down and I had dreams and all that shit.

One Sunday afternoon, ironically enough on shrooms, I had a revelation. On Monday, after work, I headed to the gym. Now I'm from a small town so I had to drive like 16 miles to the next town. I tossed my piece and like half an eighth in the ditch. I didn't touch weed for almost 7 months when I was back in college.

I got back in shape, dropped fifty pounds (265 after fr. yr./ 215 when I went back), went back to school. Coming up on my Sr. year in football, I will be starting, I'm doing good in school sort of. I just turned 23 this month.

Anyway, I've learned that it will take time and you won't just be able to wake up tomorrow and have your problems fixed. But, what you do when you wake up tomorrow can be a damn good start. It's summertime, start looking at community college's in your area or further if you want to get away.(Your friends sound like they can influence you a little, my friends back home did too but that's why I love them)

I'd say that's a good step. It's hard to fine a good paying job where your not busting your ass all day. Go back to school find something that interests you and go for it. But for god's sake don't be a teacher, trust me.

The kid wasn't mine. But I was there to see her born and Baptized. I came up with her name so I'm pissed I can't use it anymore. I found out she wasn't mine when she was 6 months old. For those 6 months I was her daddy and loved her so much. But, me and her mom are both better off it being this way.

Shit, I'm writing a book.

Peace

[swice1]

Hang in there buddy, and remember the addiction is only in your head, if you were fine before you started smoking weed then you'll be fine after, you don't need it to survive.

I just recently stopped after smoking steadily for a year and a half, I started feeling depressed and felt like I was losing my real self, but am keeping myself busy riding bikes, learning guitar and getting back in shape.

Best of luck
-swice1

[marijuanaisgood]

ya i hear bro. my situation is kinda worse because i have no job still live with my dad(mom split) no car, no money and all i do is smoke weed all day and night play games eat sleep everyday, execpt im going to school at night(adult school) because i fucked up when i was in high school. im personally not addicted to it but i just like doing it. but now im starting to cut back a little on smoking and playing sports and getting active and meeting new people at partys. i recommend u do the same go out make friends. i garantee it will make u happier:thumbsup: