crazy masturbation stories

[devilvenom]

once you've been locked up, juve or jail ,prison, whatever. you hear some crazy shit. i meet a kid who used a bean burrito in juvi cuz he thought it would remind him of a warm pussy. some kid use to tell me how he would try to suck his own dick, he thought girls would like that. this other kid jized in the same corner for so long he puked from the smell of decomposing sperm. really fucked up shit out there. hope i'm not the only one who has had to hear about this and crazyer weirder stories.

[potsmokingnome]

LOL disturbing but funny idea for a thread LOL In the same corner, thats just disgusting.....then there all the urban legends. Like the forozen hotdog stories, and such lol

[devilvenom]

theres always a drake side to everything. heard about people using icy hot, or three flowers, u know that shit people use to slick back there hair.

[Staurm]

My ex once pulled me off up the back of the National Express.

[beachguy in thongs]

My neighbor looked in my window and caught me, so I had sex with her. She came back, too. :smokin:

[Help_Needed]

Heard this from a guy I know online. He's older now, but when he was 14 he heard from a friend that if you stick an ice cube up your back end it would make for a very intense orgasm. So he decided to try it. He grabbed and ice cube and went into the bathroom. He stripped completely, inserted the cube and went to work. Well, what he'd heard was right, when he came it was so intense that his legs buckled....

As he fell he hit his chin on the bathroom counter and passed out. To make matters worse, his parents heard the noise and ran to investigate. When he didn't answer the door, his dad broke it down. There he was, 14 years old, lying naked on the floor, bleeding from a split lip with the fruits of his labor sprayed all over himself, the counter,and the floor :S2:.

[FlyGuyOU]

a hahahaha

[friendowl]

when i was younger i seen my friend richard
playing a serious game of pocket pool
all of a sudden he stood up and nutted
all over my friend michaels back who was playing NBAjams
those guys were weird like that
it was pretty funny but gross
in return micheal pee's on richard from on top of the roof

being young was strange when i look back

[deadbunny]

when i was younger i seen my friend richard
playing a serious game of pocket pool
all of a sudden he stood up and nutted
all over my friend michaels back who was playing NBAjams
those guys were weird like that
it was pretty funny but gross
in return micheal pee's on richard from on top of the roof

being young was strange when i look back

:wtf:

[dragonrider]

when i was younger i seen my friend richard
playing a serious game of pocket pool
all of a sudden he stood up and nutted
all over my friend michaels back who was playing NBAjams
those guys were weird like that
it was pretty funny but gross
in return micheal pee's on richard from on top of the roof

being young was strange when i look back

I don't think I would have fit in with your friends.

[chisme]

when i was younger i seen my friend richard
playing a serious game of pocket pool
all of a sudden he stood up and nutted
all over my friend michaels back who was playing NBAjams
those guys were weird like that
it was pretty funny but gross
in return micheal pee's on richard from on top of the roof

being young was strange when i look back

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[inbud]

This post, thot it was odd to start..but now i cant stop laughing, strangest for me was doing him under a blanket in the back seat of the car as he did me as my mother drove down the road...on the edge of orgasm for over a hundred miles..and he had to finish in the bathroom in some gas station, i finished in my seat.

[inbud]

as above, i am stoned

[CanaDanKs Inc.]

I've heard this story from the advisor of the friend of my ex-sister-in-law's car insurance's dealer.. I guess he was really horny one day because of the new girl they had just hired in the office. She was gorgeous.. and he just couldn't hold it anymore. Now keep in mind.. this guy is real old..

Well he hid in an empty room in the office which had blinds in front of the glass windows.. and was spying on the girl from there. He then started wanking it.. real hard.

Now, the craziest thing happened! Nope.. he did not get caught.. nope, he didn't giz on the window, nope.. he didn't walk out of the office with dirty clothes. What happened is.. I guess he wanked it so hard, that when he thought he was finished.. he looked down to see his member still in his hand. and his pants were up and buttoned.

:jointsmile:

[rmrdr716]

canadanks, i honestly dont know what ur saying in that post. cant tell if urt kidding or wjat............

[Purple Banana]

I remember during my anatomy and physiology lectures in college, I'd sneak out to my dorm halfway through (4 hour class, stadium seating), practice the art of release, and come back and sit back down, my face all flushed. I did this like 6 times through the semester, I think the guy I sat next to realized it after a while, LOL.

I got an A in that class, though! :thumbsup:

[dragonrider]

Was it something about your physiology that drove you to pleasure your anatomy?

[GraziLovesMary]

I remember during my anatomy and physiology lectures in college, I'd sneak out to my dorm halfway through (4 hour class, stadium seating), practice the art of release, and come back and sit back down, my face all flushed. I did this like 6 times through the semester, I think the guy I sat next to realized it after a while, LOL.

I got an A in that class, though! :thumbsup:

Now THAT is effin hot! That kind of subliminal eroticism would drive me wild, and if I sat next to you in anatomy and had a girlfriend, she would never understand why I would fuck her so hard after that class LMAO.


Friendowl, dude, you always have the funniest fuckin stories.. plus your prose style puts it in a unique, consise perspective.


As for the jail stories... I could NEVER see wasting a burrito on the act of masturbation! And when I was locked up I either jizzed in my hand and washed it off in the sink/fountain, or just straight up jizzed in that.

[Purple Banana]

Lol, it wasn't the anatomy or physiology that really got me off, just the sheer monotony and something to look forward (and to make me go to class). Hooray for quickies!