Lost and confused. Help?

[crudemood]

Well, Im going to vent a little bit, and maybe a little advice is needed.

So right now my current situation is that, I recently quit my job that paid $8/hr. Its been a month and I actually don't want to work again so I've been sitting at home for the past couple of weeks doing nothing and I feel like I've been wasting my time. I want to get a job but as an asian girl I don't know what job is suitable for me. To be honest, I'm not as intelligent as I ever hoped to be. I want to work but just the thought of working under shitty conditions again gives me shivers.

I don't have many friends. I can go days without talking to anyone but for some reason I feel fine and satisfied with exactly what I'm doing.

My basic day is, I wake up , go jogging, take a shower, maybe go out to grab some breakfast and the rest of my day just doddling. I'm alone about 80% of the day, it used to bother me that I had no friends but now I'm getting used to it but I don't know if thats okay. I don't know if me not wanting to do anything with my life is okay. I don't know why but I just don't want to do anything, I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything. When forced to I'm great in social settings, I get along with people fine but for some reason I prefer to be alone and do nothing.

I want to make my way somewhere in life and live my own life, I just don't know what the next step for me is to do. I see myself living a fulfilling life full of things I want to do, except right now I just want a couple of friends and some goals/motivation in life. I think one of the worst things is that I have no friends, literally and so therefore have no peers to talk this through with, to compare lives with.

Sure, in the past few years I was super confident but now I'm a little bit lost. I need a little guidance. I need some clarity. Anyone, please.

[geonagual]

Hello:jointsmile:
I am not sure if I have any definitive answer, maybe just a few thoughts.
You definitely need to get back to work..the more idle you become, the more idle you become..if you know what I mean..
You need to talk to some old friends...make some new ones..something..you need someone to hang out with, get stoned and go do something cool with...why dont you want friends?
:)

[CanaDanKs Inc.]

Hey crudemood,

You know, I often feel the same. Motivation is a tough feature to always have on in our brains.. Spending time alone is awesome, in fact.. the best I think. However, sometimes when seeing the same people and doing the same things most everydays, things get a little too paternized. I think stimulation is the first and crucial step to motivation.. When you get the taste of something.. you want more.

What I'm saying is maybe putting just an extra little amount of effort into trying to meet people, maybe being a little more outgoing.. would most likely give you some very positive feedback, therefore a reason to motivate yourself to accomplish and push your goals. I don't really know you, so I don't know why exactly you wouldn't have many friends... you seem O.K. in my book! Trust me you will see that compassion will make people communicate straight from their hearts. It is pretty easy to find positive and supportive friends when we are willing to aknowledge and support them as well!

Also, you are young still.. don't stress too much, you've got quite a while. Just enjoy yourself and open yourself to new experiences as much as possible :jointsmile:

Good luck!

oh yea.. get a job at a call center or something.. asian girls are great at that! :thumbsup:

[Coelho]

I don't have many friends. I can go days without talking to anyone but for some reason I feel fine and satisfied with exactly what I'm doing.
My basic day is, I wake up , go jogging, take a shower, maybe go out to grab some breakfast and the rest of my day just doddling. I'm alone about 80% of the day, it used to bother me that I had no friends but now I'm getting used to it but I don't know if thats okay. I don't know if me not wanting to do anything with my life is okay. I don't know why but I just don't want to do anything, I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything. When forced to I'm great in social settings, I get along with people fine but for some reason I prefer to be alone and do nothing.

Well... im very much like you... so i understand very well what you mean... its interesting you mention depression, because a lot of people thinks im depressed just because i also dont want to do anything... while in fact im very happy for doing nothing...
And i think its ok dont to want to do anything, for a time... sometimes we need some time to re evaluate our life and what we wish... to situate ourselves... maybe during this times its normal dont to want anything because were thinking about what we actually want...


I want to make my way somewhere in life and live my own life, I just don't know what the next step for me is to do.

If you dont know what to do, just wait... sooner or later your path will be more clear and you will know what to do.


Sure, in the past few years I was super confident but now I'm a little bit lost. I need a little guidance. I need some clarity. Anyone, please.

Yeah... i understand it SO well... its the coming of the age... if i remember right youre young... twenty-something (one? two?) yrs old... im 25. And since some time ago ive been feeling much like you... And some people of my age with whom i talked also felt this... so i think its a normal thing...
Anyway... i hope you find your way... My best wishes for you!

[Narf!]

I have recently gone through the exact same thing. Sometimes in life, you have to lose yourself, so you can find yourself again. You are exercizing every day and taking care of yourself. That is the best thing you can do right now. You might try to find a job that really interests you. Not something in the traditional sense of a career path. Not everyone that is a millionaire is a success. Alot of them are failures, but they have become trapped by their "things." Mortgages, loveless marriges, car payments etc. And have to continue down a fruitless path so everyone else percieves them to be "successful." You might consider volunteering for a charity. Take some classes at a community college that interest you, but dont necessacarily have to do with a career.
The worst thing about not having a job is "Where do you work?" I have figured out alot of people "Are what they do for a living." but not much else. They have no life or interests outside of their job. That sucks. Try asking them who they would be without a job. Most times you will get that deer in the headlights look. You're doing well for yourself without a job. For me I got tired of being bored so I finally got a job myself.

[crudemood]

Hello:jointsmile:
I am not sure if I have any definitive answer, maybe just a few thoughts.
You definitely need to get back to work..the more idle you become, the more idle you become..if you know what I mean..
You need to talk to some old friends...make some new ones..something..you need someone to hang out with, get stoned and go do something cool with...why dont you want friends?
:)

I know I feel like my mind is going to mush, but not quite. I think its still quite sharp. Anyway, I don't want friends well because it may be because every time I made an emotional attachment to friends, they either leave me (over some flaw I may or may not have or arguments) or back stab me. Maybe I've gotten used to the fact this is what friends do and since I don't like it I don't deal with it so that way I'm happy not constantly thinking about why they are leaving me or why they've done things to me. but I'm definitely not bitter about it.

And thats me in a nutshell.

Lots of great advice I definitely feel less alone knowing other people go through the exact same thing. Lots of love to you guys, Lots of it.

[crudemood]

Hello:jointsmile:
I am not sure if I have any definitive answer, maybe just a few thoughts.
You definitely need to get back to work..the more idle you become, the more idle you become..if you know what I mean..
You need to talk to some old friends...make some new ones..something..you need someone to hang out with, get stoned and go do something cool with...why dont you want friends?
:)

I know I feel like my mind is going to mush, but not quite. I think its still quite sharp. Anyway, I don't want friends well because it may be because every time I made an emotional attachment to friends, they either leave me (over some flaw I may or may not have or arguments) or back stab me. Maybe I've gotten used to the fact this is what friends do and since I don't like it I don't deal with it so that way I'm happy not constantly thinking about why they are leaving me or why they've done things to me. but I'm definitely not bitter about it.


I have recently gone through the exact same thing. Sometimes in life, you have to lose yourself, so you can find yourself again. You are exercizing every day and taking care of yourself. That is the best thing you can do right now. You might try to find a job that really interests you. Not something in the traditional sense of a career path. Not everyone that is a millionaire is a success. Alot of them are failures, but they have become trapped by their "things." Mortgages, loveless marriges, car payments etc. And have to continue down a fruitless path so everyone else percieves them to be "successful." You might consider volunteering for a charity. Take some classes at a community college that interest you, but dont necessacarily have to do with a career.
The worst thing about not having a job is "Where do you work?" I have figured out alot of people "Are what they do for a living." but not much else. They have no life or interests outside of their job. That sucks. Try asking them who they would be without a job. Most times you will get that deer in the headlights look. You're doing well for yourself without a job. For me I got tired of being bored so I finally got a job myself.

Thats exactly what I don't want to be. Very relatible though, thats me, for sure. You hit it smack dab on the nose, Narf.

All this makes me realize Finding passion is really hard. Its like finding a needle in a haystack! Impossible!

And thats me in a nutshell.

Lots of great advice I definitely feel less alone knowing other people go through the exact same thing. Lots of love to you guys, Lots of it.

[geonagual]

Yeah friendship with some people is just as hard as intimate relationships..some people are just pains in the ass...that sucks about what has happened with your friends before..it does happen..some friends do come and go sometimes..kinda the cycle of life..

[crudemood]

Yeah friendship with some people is just as hard as intimate relationships..some people are just pains in the ass...that sucks about what has happened with your friends before..it does happen..some friends do come and go sometimes..kinda the cycle of life..

Yeah, friends are just a memory for me now! How sad is that to admit to? lol.
Its weird to think that random people, about the millions of people that come on here, you 4 loverlies would stop and help another person reaching out online to strangers NOT knowing how much it counts. But it really does.
I wish I could rep you geo, and the rest who gave such knowledgeable advice a MILLION rep. Its the best I can right now, but its the thought that counts ;p

[Breukelen advocaat]

A very wise person told me, long ago, that you're lucky if you make one real friend in your entire life.

He was right.

B.A.

[birdgirl73]

I've felt worried about you lately, Crudemood, when I've read your posts. You have a lot to give, both to friends you could make and to a decent job. I think you undercut yourself far more than you ought, and I wish I could lay down some new self-talk tracks in your brain so you knew you were capable of getting out there, connecting with who you want to connect with, and doing great things. Sounds like there's a part of you that's happy being isolated right now, which is fine in small doses, but when it becomes your preferred mode of existence--at least when it does for me this is true--that's not a good sign. I've always found that getting out there and doing something on a volunteer basis is a good way to meet folks with common interests and common sympathies. Taking classes of any kind is, too. I'm not sure I believe that everyone finds a great vocational or avocational passion. We all settle at various times. But I definitely agree with Geo that it'll help you stay more connected if you get back out there and get busy with something, even if it's just volunteering instead of working. You could also use some practice giving yourself affirmations to reinforce good thoughts about yourself. You could do those while you're running!

[crudemood]

Thanks birdgirl its always good to have a grounded person and less emotional person to give their own perspective on things because my emotions are always getting in the way and it tends to cloud my vision. Emotions, sometimes you can't live with them but then again you can't live without them.
I feel better now.

BA, thats depressing but sad to say in my experience very true.

[geonagual]

I am glad you are feeling better crude..I think you would make a great friend.

[Coelho]

Its weird to think that random people, about the millions of people that come on here, you 4 loverlies would stop and help another person reaching out online to strangers NOT knowing how much it counts. But it really does.


Well... i may dont know you... but if i can help you any way, why dont to? Love is weird... as more you give to others, more is left with you... And im very glad that i was of some help to you, and that youre better now. :)

[beachguy in thongs]

Crudemood, my only friends are the ones that I see. Right now, I see you. How can you say that you have no friends?

[geonagual]

I didnt notice that..I am a loverlie now..whatever that is. LOL

[geonagual]

Crudemood, my only friends are the ones that I see. Right now, I see you. How can you say that you have no friends?

Cool...does that mean I am your friend to?

[beachguy in thongs]

Well, Im going to vent a little bit, and maybe a little advice is needed.

So right now my current situation is that, I recently quit my job that paid $8/hr. Its been a month and I actually don't want to work again so I've been sitting at home for the past couple of weeks doing nothing and I feel like I've been wasting my time. I want to get a job but as an asian girl I don't know what job is suitable for me. To be honest, I'm not as intelligent as I ever hoped to be. I want to work but just the thought of working under shitty conditions again gives me shivers.

I don't have many friends. I can go days without talking to anyone but for some reason I feel fine and satisfied with exactly what I'm doing.

My basic day is, I wake up , go jogging, take a shower, maybe go out to grab some breakfast and the rest of my day just doddling. I'm alone about 80% of the day, it used to bother me that I had no friends but now I'm getting used to it but I don't know if thats okay. I don't know if me not wanting to do anything with my life is okay. I don't know why but I just don't want to do anything, I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything. When forced to I'm great in social settings, I get along with people fine but for some reason I prefer to be alone and do nothing.

I want to make my way somewhere in life and live my own life, I just don't know what the next step for me is to do. I see myself living a fulfilling life full of things I want to do, except right now I just want a couple of friends and some goals/motivation in life. I think one of the worst things is that I have no friends, literally and so therefore have no peers to talk this through with, to compare lives with.

Sure, in the past few years I was super confident but now I'm a little bit lost. I need a little guidance. I need some clarity. Anyone, please.

I know I feel like my mind is going to mush, but not quite. I think its still quite sharp. Anyway, I don't want friends well because it may be because every time I made an emotional attachment to friends, they either leave me (over some flaw I may or may not have or arguments) or back stab me. Maybe I've gotten used to the fact this is what friends do and since I don't like it I don't deal with it so that way I'm happy not constantly thinking about why they are leaving me or why they've done things to me. but I'm definitely not bitter about it.

And thats me in a nutshell.

Lots of great advice I definitely feel less alone knowing other people go through the exact same thing. Lots of love to you guys, Lots of it.

I know I feel like my mind is going to mush, but not quite. I think its still quite sharp. Anyway, I don't want friends well because it may be because every time I made an emotional attachment to friends, they either leave me (over some flaw I may or may not have or arguments) or back stab me. Maybe I've gotten used to the fact this is what friends do and since I don't like it I don't deal with it so that way I'm happy not constantly thinking about why they are leaving me or why they've done things to me. but I'm definitely not bitter about it.



Thats exactly what I don't want to be. Very relatible though, thats me, for sure. You hit it smack dab on the nose, Narf.

All this makes me realize Finding passion is really hard. Its like finding a needle in a haystack! Impossible!

And thats me in a nutshell.

Lots of great advice I definitely feel less alone knowing other people go through the exact same thing. Lots of love to you guys, Lots of it.

Yeah, friends are just a memory for me now! How sad is that to admit to? lol.
Its weird to think that random people, about the millions of people that come on here, you 4 loverlies would stop and help another person reaching out online to strangers NOT knowing how much it counts. But it really does.
I wish I could rep you geo, and the rest who gave such knowledgeable advice a MILLION rep. Its the best I can right now, but its the thought that counts ;p

Thanks birdgirl its always good to have a grounded person and less emotional person to give their own perspective on things because my emotions are always getting in the way and it tends to cloud my vision. Emotions, sometimes you can't live with them but then again you can't live without them.
I feel better now.

BA, thats depressing but sad to say in my experience very true.

It tells a lot about you.

[beachguy in thongs]

Did I see something?

[geonagual]

I see your brooding..

[beachguy in thongs]

It's like a small flash of light. Anyone else see it?

LOL. New Balance.