Guy that doesnt get the hint

[Vino]

I feel kind of bad. here is the story.

i went to the bar and met this guy, and he came back to my place to hang out. i sent him home, i didnt sleep with him because really im known for being self destructive and having issues with the men i sleep with.

i met him for coffee the next day, and he came over to my place the day after.

the third night hanging out with him he spent the night.

now he is a nice enough guy, but i dont know him all that well yet. Now im a student its midterm time, near the end of it, and i have lots of work i need to do, so i told him that. I honestly was not blowing him off, i had work to do.

i was working on a paper, and i told him i would take a rain check on getting together. He showed up at my house, to the back door where there is no doorbell. i was outside having a smoke.

so he asked me for a cig, so i said ok...kind of annoyed he came over when im doing work. school is my job, so when im busy you cant just show up here and expect me to drop what im doing. and he did.

he asked if he could come in, and i was annoyed so i said no, i will be out here until im done smoking and going inside to do my work.

then he asked me if i would give him a bowl to smoke. now i wasnt smoking weed when i was outside, we smoke weed in our house just not cigs because the smell lingers more with cigs. furthermore i was stone sober. why would he think im going to give him cigarettes and weed if he just shows up? If it was someone i was dating seriously i wouldnt care and i likely would give them a gram and send them on their way or let them stay while i doing work. but i hardly know this guy.

you cant just show up at my house after knowing me a total of about 24 hours when you amalgamate the evenings and ask me for things like that.

I have stopped taking his phone calls, and i was pretty clear when he left here the other night that i was mega pissed off and yet he keeps calling.

Maybe i seem like im over reacting by cutting him out and not taking his calls....but I have had a bad history with men using me and not treating me right, so this set off warning signs for sure.

I just wish he would stop calling because i was pretty clear with him when he left my back steps not to bother calling me.

[stinkyattic]

CREEEEEEEEEEEPY..... lock doors. Borrow Rottweiler. Tell your brother this dude's name and where to find him... just in case. Keep phone on you. That dude is sketch. I've seen creepy stuff posted here... this is up with the best of them.

[cm8883]

Reminds me of a friend I had years ago...was such a bum when it came to weed, hopefully, the only reason he's bugging you is cuz he knows you got the MJ and he's too broke to buy it.

Even MORE reason to not take his calls :thumbsup:

[TheGreatBenzino]

JUST SHOWED UP! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA straight CREEPER right there. I'd take Stinky's advice. I'm a guy, but i get the point, probably before the point was even givin. SO i have no advice to tell you to make him go away. I guess next time he calls to hang out... tell him "i would but i have to go to the gynecologist, to get a new wart looked at" I would never call your ass back if you said that

[cutecalikitty]

Tell him you arent interested and stop calling .. 'nuff said.

Let the blaze be with you :jointsmile:

[killerweed420]

With guys you have to be point blank. Tell him you're working hard to get through college,thats your priority if you want to hookup you'll call him.

[Zwitter]

That pisses me off to no extent. I have a male acquaintance as well who DOESN'T GET THE HINT.

We'll instant message and he'll ask me if I want to chill the following day. I'll be like, "Maybe. IM me tomorrow when I get out of work and we'll figure out what to do."

He'll show up at my house and just WALK IN if the door is unlocked (it often is when I'm just chillin' out cooking or whatnot) and not understand why I'm ticked off. Or, he'll stand there staring inside. AND THEN HE HAS THE BALLS TO ASK ME FOR WEED.

So I feel your pain. :[ I don't know how these guys let this stuff slide over their heads. He doesn't even wanna hook up with me. He's just desperate for company.

[TheGreatBenzino]

you guys chill with some fucked up people!
1. My friends are allowed to barge in, but if i barely knew you I would knock you out.

2. My friends NEVER ask for weed, cause i am generous to ask if they want some. BUT if i was in your situation... i would TRIP!

both of your stories involve very sketchy, and WEEDED individiuals..... GOD SPEED!

BTW i dont think you ladies are ASSES for not offereing him any, cause i wouldnt either if he disrespected my home like that.

[thcbongman]

I'm taking sides with the dude. Not completely, but you can't blame a dude who is clueless to what a girl is feeling.

I'll bet anyone here that if she said directly to him "hey I'm not interested in you," he wouldn't show up.

I give you the classic line on why guys would keep calling, coming over, etc.:

""Maybe. IM me tomorrow when I get out of work and we'll figure out what to do."

What hint did you give him other than, IM me tomorrow? How does that equate "I'm not interested in you?"

You girls think you being "nice" giving "hints" but really you are being very rude, for not saying how you are really feeling and wasting his time.

Frankly neither of you made it clear, instead you are dragging them both like dogs on a leash. We define this as "playing games."

You dug your own graves by playing games, whether you are aware of this or not.

[Gandalf_The_Grey]

Geez, trying to impress a woman by being a mooch right off the bat. And I thought I was bad at picking up women...:wtf:

[Hardcore Newbie]

I have stopped taking his phone calls, and i was pretty clear when he left here the other night that i was mega pissed off and yet he keeps calling.

Maybe i seem like im over reacting by cutting him out and not taking his calls....but I have had a bad history with men using me and not treating me right, so this set off warning signs for sure.

I just wish he would stop calling because i was pretty clear with him when he left my back steps not to bother calling me.Tell him you thought he was cool at first but you think he's being annoying... or just tell him point blank. Subtle hints do not work, obvious hints do not work. If you say you were pretty obvious, you weren't obvious enough.

[Unknown American]

Tell the dude straight up that you want nothing to do with him. Do not make any excuses. Spell it out clearly. No prisoners here be brutal. If you don't he will keep stalking you.

If that does not work file a restraining order.

The dude is creepy.

[psychocat]

I'm for hire as a bodyguard, :D
Pay me in green and I'll make sure he's never seen :thumbsup: :D

Only kiddin'
Be very very clear and tell him to piss off or you're gonna set your brothers on him, even if you don't have brothers, as long as he doesn't know that it should work.

[Spoken Word]

Geez, trying to impress a woman by being a mooch right off the bat. And I thought I was bad at picking up women...:wtf:
lol

It's very difficult to really know what girls want. So maybe these two guys are just trying to spend time with you all because they are interested. Letting him stay the night is enough to confuse him. and like thcbongman said, adding "I'm not interested in you" in a heart to heart talk usually sends non-psycho's away. Anything else could very well be considered "playing games".

but let me add, asking girls for weed is pretty lame. i usually offer and invite when i'm interested.

[Vino]

Thanks guys, by pretty obvious, this is what i did

i didnt stand up to welcome him, or move over so he could sit. i asked him what he was doing here when i was busy, i refused to kiss him goodbye and i just got up and went inside. If thats not a strong blow off i dont know what is. though if he calls me again i will answer and tell him to piss off.

yeah i was mean, but i was angry and i felt like my privacy had been violated and he was mooching off me.

Im not possessive of what i own, my roommates eat my food, we share weed, alcohol, if i own it, unless i need it for something specific i share it..

now, we dont keep our back door locked and lots of friends will just walk in.

and we don't mind. however they tell us they are coming over. when i listened to my phone messages later, he did not say he was coming over. he just said oh i guess you are not there.

It was more the fact that he showed up without asking or telling me, after i told him i couldnt get together, and i didnt answer his phone call while in the middle of writing a paper. then he started asking me for things. the cigs were one thing, the weed...i wasnt smoking weed. totally out of line.

If it was even a friend who had asked me out of the blue i wouldnt care so much. its the fact that its a dating situation and he starts asking me for things like that. hes not a good friend, and frankly, in dating situations the dynamic is very different. its a very high context situation where you have to read body language and abide by the norm, and when guys start to ask me for things right off the bat like that, i feel like im going to end up being used.

hell, if he was my own age i wouldnt even be soooo critical. but he is 27 and should damn well know better. hell if i know better at 21, at 27 if he doesnt get it, hes not going to.


thanks for the feedback guys, i have a protector, a good buddy of mine is a bit rough and offered to be my protection. i dont think i will need it, but i have it. and i dont live on my own, i live with a guy and and a girl, so im almost never home alone.

[psychocat]

Damn there goes my protection green :)
Glad you got it sorted.:thumbsup: