Marriage

[Innominate]

I hope many of you come to realize that marriage does not work. It is a waste of time, money, and "happiness."

We should live our lives simply, happily, and healthy.

[silkyblue]

uh marriage does work
people are the problem

:jointsmile:

[Dave Byrd]

Marriage works just fine, as long as the two people involved work at the marriage. Sometimes they don't want to do that. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances.

It can work, though. I've been happily married for 24 years. My parents for 53 years. My in-laws for nearly at long. My wife's grandparents were married for 67 years when her granddad died. Research shows that happily married people, especially men, are far healthier than single ones. Marriage isn't a waste of money, either. Divorce is. But married people are usually in better financial and tax shape than single people.

I read someplace that marriage certificates with expiration dates were being discussed somewhere in the United States. Might be a good idea--and a possible alternative to divorce. The expiration date of the marriage certificate comes up and a couple who doesn't want to recommit simply doesn't renew the license and goes their separate ways. Makes sense to me.

[Innominate]

More often than not marriages fail or couples consider themselves stranded and basically roll with the punches while they are already down. I don't see this as a wise lifestyle and believeably it would be more convenient if marriage was not chosen as an option.

I see marriage as a beautiful symbol of honor and dedication for one another. But out of all the factors that contribute to marital issues, they are too overwhelming for people such as myself; too risky.

Marriage is not a fairy tale and I see it all the time. I've seen it in my parents who are still married after about 30 years and both of my grandparents who have both surpassed 50 years of marriage.

I will take my family's advice and all the other advice I've received from the experienced and make my own decisions. I'd rather live with a woman for the rest of my life, with no obligation to marry. It's simple, ordinary, and I can still be happy.

Marriage is pointless.

[slipknotpsycho]

it also leads me to believe you have some serious commitment issues.... and unless you find a girl that feels the exact same, she will notice too.... which can cause a relationship just as 'destructive' as you make marriage out to be.... just something to consider...

if marriage ain't your thing, that's fine.. but you don't have to go and state it's pointless and everything else you said... i'm married and i know it works,so it doesn't bother me... i'm more worried about those who might be swayed from such statements

[Unknown American]

I tend to agree with Innominate on this one. At least for myself.

At least 50% of marriages fail. I suspect there is a good percentage of people who stay married that are miserable. It could be because of kids or their own ideas about "til the day you DIE".

I could have saved my marriage if I would have changed who I was and been her obedient little man. I would have rather been shot than let that happen. Better to die than live with a bitch.

Although the divorce was nasty and cost me a considerable amount of my net wealth, it was worth it.

Not only have I gained more money I have a new freedom. I look forward to each new day.

No more "yap, yap, yap, nag, nag, nag!" No more compromising, I do what I want- when I want. My living expenses are more than 75% less than they were when I was married.

To let you know when I married I was totally in Love and thought I would be with her forever. Our marriage lasted 7 years (5 years to long). I knew her for ten years total.

I also get to hear from others how miserable and unhappy they are in their marriage. I also watched an acquaintance have his wife leave him after over 25 years of marriage after the final kid got shipped off to college. Poor dude did not see it coming.

But I have nothing against "other people" getting married. As long as it is not me.
:)

[Innominate]

I am committed in what I see as valuable for my life, whether it is friends, family, work, or school. If anyone had the chance to ask anyone that has known me for years, they will say that I'm an extremely genuine person.

My last intention would be to slander anyone's mind about marriage. Instead I only wish people will look deeper into what they want out of love and to be comfortable without the obligation to marry. It's time we understand that we have other options in life than conformity.

If your happy, that's all that matters.

[slipknotpsycho]

I am committed in what I see as valuable for my life, whether it is friends, family, work, or school. If anyone had the chance to ask anyone that has known me for years, they will say that I'm an extremely genuine person.

My last intention would be to slander anyone's mind about marriage. Instead I only wish people will look deeper into what they want out of love and to be comfortable without the obligation to marry. It's time we understand that we have other options in life than conformity.

If your happy, that's all that matters.


that's all i was saying... i have no problem with someone who doesn't want to get married :p hope you didn't take my post as trying to shoot down your opinion or anything.... they were just some really strong statements and getting married is already scarry enough as it is...

[rebgirl420]

Dont let your shitty love life ruin it for everyone else. Im engaged and i can't wait until I get married. Its a grand way to tell the other person you love them.

[Chaotixxx]

Women support marriage for obvious reasons. They have every reason to benefit from it, whether it goes good OR bad. Its more risky for the man, and most divorces are requested by the wife. They get bored with you and wring you dry for all your money. Im not against it, but if you have a penis, I suggest seriously thinking it over.

[slipknotpsycho]

Women support marriage for obvious reasons. They have every reason to benefit from it, whether it goes good OR bad. Its more risky for the man, and most divorces are requested by the wife. They get bored with you and wring you dry for all your money. Im not against it, but if you have a penis, I suggest seriously thinking it over.

one word....

prenup

[Innominate]

Dont let your shitty love life ruin it for everyone else. Im engaged and i can't wait until I get married. Its a grand way to tell the other person you love them.
Thanks for being openminded, I wish you two luck.

[texas grass]

i just got married its its great

its the people why marriage fails

[Innominate]

that's all i was saying... i have no problem with someone who doesn't want to get married :p hope you didn't take my post as trying to shoot down your opinion or anything.... they were just some really strong statements and getting married is already scarry enough as it is...
Your right, stating in plain English that "marriage doesn't work" goes over the edge on my part, my apologies. Marriage has proven to be successful for many people. Unfortunately these many people are becoming a minority, especially as increasingly growing numbers of couples that marry on behalf of military benefits for example.

[Innominate]

its the people why marriage fails
Of course.

[Psycho4Bud]

I read someplace that marriage certificates with expiration dates were being discussed somewhere in the United States. Might be a good idea--and a possible alternative to divorce. The expiration date of the marriage certificate comes up and a couple who doesn't want to recommit simply doesn't renew the license and goes their separate ways. Makes sense to me.


Divorce court lawyers and womens groups would NEVER let something like this pass. Imagine it.....no more alimony or being stripped of half your assets while her lawyer takes your other half.

After going through two divorces I just call it Clean Sweep.......like the show. Anything and everything that you really haven't used or need is taken away in one swoop! Ya get rid of all that unwanted junk and some junk ya did want.

Including her, it can all be replaced.:thumbsup:

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[stinkyattic]

Women support marriage for obvious reasons. They have every reason to benefit from it, whether it goes good OR bad. Its more risky for the man, and most divorces are requested by the wife. They get bored with you and wring you dry for all your money. Im not against it, but if you have a penis, I suggest seriously thinking it over.

Really....

A woman who makes a significantly higher salary than her spouse, and who has invested more into the couple's mutual assets, may perfectly well stand to lose assets if her husband can prove to the courts the same things that she would have to have proved were she to demand a share of HIS assets were the financial situations reversed as they nearly always were in the past.

Leaving the extremely touchy issue of child support out of the equation, and looking strictly at alimony and legal right to any real estate, alimony is (in my state at least) RARELY granted and even then only in cases of a very long marriage and proof that the husband in some way impeded his wife from pursuing a career of her own.

Right to real estate is also different than you seem to be implying. Either the house will be ordered sold and the profits split, or one party will be forced to buy out the other. Legally, mutual real estate holdings of UNMARRIED couples put the parties in a much more dangerous financial situation should the relationship fail. Marriage is in this case a positive, since the rights of each party are very clearly defined.

Any woman who marries strictly with the intention of taking her husband for a ride later on is a fool to do so.

Finally, saying that 'most divorces are requested by the wife' as part of an argument against marriage if you're a man is misleading. You include in that sweeping generalization cases where a woman would file for divorce citing abuse... by your statement, the implication is that this is entirely her doing. I think not.

I find your post to be rather misogynistic and not a little ignorant.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Thanks Stinky. With this iffy keyboard of mine, I'm glad you saved me the typing.

I'm on my 4th marriage. In every single divorce I've come out on the fuzzy end of the lollipop. I want to meet some of these women who take half, and found out what I did wrong. I didn't get diddlysquat from any of my ex-husbands, but they wound up with new cars and nice homes.

Statistics show that a woman's standard of living decreases following divorce, while a man's increases by around 73%.

[el_fantistico]

Marriage certainly works for some people and there are others I would recommend NEVER get married!

My wife and I have a very good partnership, it isnâ??t perfect, but itâ??s better than good more often than not. We are together for a variety of reasons: love, companionship, economics, and a genuine interest in making the otherâ??s life more happy.

We donâ??t agree on everythingâ?¦ but that helps us see each others point of view.

I do think however that some people shouldnâ??t get married (and even more people shouldnâ??t have kidsâ?¦ but thatâ??s another thread!!) and I also believe that some relationships have shelf life that will eventually expire.

Does that mean we should abolish marriage? No, if for no other reason that itâ??s one of the only day(s) in peopleâ??s lives that they are 100% focused on and itâ??s a hell of a partyâ?¦ Ceremony is also an important aspect of human interaction that is slowly becoming extinctâ?¦ marriage maintains this, even for just a day.

I could go onâ?¦ but I am so hungry right nowâ?¦.

El Fantistico :smokin:

[Psycho4Bud]

Thanks Stinky. With this iffy keyboard of mine, I'm glad you saved me the typing.

I'm on my 4th marriage. In every single divorce I've come out on the fuzzy end of the lollipop. I want to meet some of these women who take half, and found out what I did wrong. I didn't get diddlysquat from any of my ex-husbands, but they wound up with new cars and nice homes.

Statistics show that a woman's standard of living decreases following divorce, while a man's increases by around 73%.

E-mail is in my signature........I'll refer ya to the ex of your choice. I'd actually talk to the second.......she got two years of alimony also.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[Dutch Pimp]

Originally Posted by Dave Byrd
I read someplace that marriage certificates with expiration dates were being discussed somewhere in the United States. Might be a good idea--and a possible alternative to divorce. The expiration date of the marriage certificate comes up and a couple who doesn't want to recommit simply doesn't renew the license and goes their separate ways. Makes sense to me.


can I get? an ..Amen! on that!....:thumbsup:

[Unknown American]

I'm on my 4th marriage. In every single divorce I've come out on the fuzzy end of the lollipop. I want to meet some of these women who take half, and found out what I did wrong. .

Well Mrs. Greenjeans I would be happy to give you the phone number and web site of my ex.

The key for females scoring big in Divorces is a good attorney. Plus your ex has to have considerable assets to begin with.

I am sure my ex can refer you to a great lawyer if you need it for future reference.

Rebgirl: If you are in love nothing said here will persuade you otherwise. No one is spoiling it for anyone else. However going in with both eyes open and understanding the realities of a situation might save some people a lot of trouble. You can say you know someone, but in truth no one really ever knows anyone.

Actually, I believe in love, just as much as I believe in Orgasms. However I do not need someone else to be with me to give my life meaning.

I wish you and your man all the success in your relationship.

To all the happily married people out there: More power to you. :thumbsup:

[FakeBoobsRule]

I like how there is the title Marriage then a BIG THUMBS DOWN on this thread LOL.


uh marriage does work
people are the problem

:jointsmile:

That post reminds me of Guns don't kill people People kill people.

I'm beginning to think that having kids with a couple of different women spread out over the next few years and never getting married isn't such a bad idea after I read this thread. WOW! :wtf:

[stinkyattic]

kids with a couple of different women spread out over the next few years and never getting married isn't such a bad idea after I read this thread. WOW!
I know some chicks who would be HAPPY to take advantage of your financial security... Sorry I'm being a bit cynical... but I've seen some sad assed situations.

[GraziLovesMary]

I like how there is the title Marriage then a BIG THUMBS DOWN on this thread LOL.



That post reminds me of Guns don't kill people People kill people.

I'm beginning to think that having kids with a couple of different women spread out over the next few years and never getting married isn't such a bad idea after I read this thread. WOW! :wtf:

This is about word for word what was scrolling through my head on the mental marquee while I scrolled through the posts lol. In fact, that last paragraph mirrors some sentiments that have been crossing my mind lately.

[FakeBoobsRule]

I know some chicks who would be HAPPY to take advantage of your financial security... Sorry I'm being a bit cynical... but I've seen some sad assed situations.

I've already discovered that long ago when I first started playing with stocks. There has only been about 2 girls that I have dated where money wasn't an issue. One made her money, one inherited her money. Oddly, they've both know each other for a long time, since high school. Both also have augmentation. I wonder if there is something similar to a pre nup but more like a pre preg contract!

[Innominate]

I forgot to add..."Think of the children!" :D

Divorce is not fair to children.

[Psycho4Bud]

I forgot to add..."Think of the children!" :D

Divorce is not fair to children.

No it's not....but having two adults growing to hate each other over the years isn't either. Bad karma has a way of spreading.........

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

When Papi and I married, we had a Pagan wedding, so instead of "til death us do part", our vows were, "for as long as love shall last".

Makes more sense to me. We were handfasted. It's a legal ceremony, but the idea and sentiment behind the vows are a lot more flexible.

All that being said, I think marriage is like any other contractual agreement. People grow and change, and as they do, so do their wants and needs. Partners have to adapt and be flexible, or agree to move on.

I LOVE being married to Papi. For us, it was just a public declaration of our feelings and commitment. We already "felt" married in our minds, hearts, and souls. The wedding was just making it official. Everyday he looks at me and gets a shit eating grin on his face and says, "We're married!" He's so cute.

[birdgirl73]

Congrats on that, Mrs. Greenjeans! When was the wedding?

We celebrated 24 years last month. Next year will be a full quarter century. Even when folks grow and change, they can sometimes do it successfully together. We were both such dumb kids when we tied the knot. Seems amazing to look back and realize we made it through.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

Happy late anniversary! That's so inspiring. We got married Sept 8. When I finish resizing the pics I'll post them on my blog and post a link to it.

[potsmokingnome]

I hope many of you come to realize that marriage does not work. It is a waste of time, money, and "happiness."



We should live our lives simply, happily, and healthy.

I agree

Marriage is a piece of paper, that people think that they need to exspress there undying love for each other! Please everyone before thinking of getting this exspensive piece of paprer that binds you finacially to another person, please people make sure you know this person as well as you think you do! don't be blind to your so called undying Love! Listen to your family and friends, see it from the outside. Then maybe purchase that exspensive peiece of paper that comes along with an exspensive wedding Bill! (unless you choose not to have the exspensive wedding, good for you, cause love is not based on money) Years later I hope youyr Love truly lasts, cause if it doesn't, here comes the most exspensive and painfull part: The divorce!...Got kids? Hope not cause if ya think its hard on you, its even harder on the Kids..The fighting is no good either if your unhappy and ya stay together for the kids..

So my Advice, ya can take it or leave it: If Ya wanna get married make sure she/he she is absoulotely the right one!

[Canadian_Cron]

no i disagree. marriage does work if its the right two people. im only young (19), but i hope someday (not anytime soon tho haha) to be married to a woman who im truly in love with and could never amagine not being with. you just gotta find the right person that's all, which is easier said than done but i belive it would be worth it.

love is a wierd thing, no1 can describe it, its one of those things where you just know.

[GraziLovesMary]

Marriage is a piece of paper, true. Symbolism is a pretty ingrained nature of the human being, and marriage, along with that certificate, the wedding, and any significant things that might occur in between, symbolize both peoples desire to be devoted to each other for as long as they both live. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. If you dont want to do it, then dont. If the person you are with does and you dont, then find somebody else or change your mind. If you find somebody that you can live with for the rest of your life without being married and you both happily pull it off then Im happy for you, thats beautiful. Ive seen lots of successful examples.

But when your opinion for one thing clouds your mind with disgust for other equally legitimate points of view, you begin to close your mind. Thats not very productive, if you ask me. Stating your opinion for why you dont like marriage, and why it is a waste of time for you, and why you will never do it is cool. Lots of people feel the same way and agree. But theres no sense in allowing one persons bitterness to ruin anothers taste.

Me personally, I agree that marriage is definitely not for everybody, including those with committment issues, and those with bitter experiences towards it. Also mean people and closed-minded people should avoid marriage for a while. Maybe one day if I meet the right person at the right time in my life Ill get married, maybe I wont, Im not sure, and it doesnt really matter to me right now because that decision is a long time away.

[Innominate]

Marriage is a piece of paper, true. Symbolism is a pretty ingrained nature of the human being, and marriage, along with that certificate, the wedding, and any significant things that might occur in between, symbolize both peoples desire to be devoted to each other for as long as they both live. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. If you dont want to do it, then dont. If the person you are with does and you dont, then find somebody else or change your mind. If you find somebody that you can live with for the rest of your life without being married and you both happily pull it off then Im happy for you, thats beautiful. Ive seen lots of successful examples.

But when your opinion for one thing clouds your mind with disgust for other equally legitimate points of view, you begin to close your mind. Thats not very productive, if you ask me. Stating your opinion for why you dont like marriage, and why it is a waste of time for you, and why you will never do it is cool. Lots of people feel the same way and agree. But theres no sense in allowing one persons bitterness to ruin anothers taste.

Me personally, I agree that marriage is definitely not for everybody, including those with committment issues, and those with bitter experiences towards it. Also mean people and closed-minded people should avoid marriage for a while. Maybe one day if I meet the right person at the right time in my life Ill get married, maybe I wont, Im not sure, and it doesnt really matter to me right now because that decision is a long time away.

Read furthermore in the thread and you'll notice I apologized and agreed that I started this thread sending a different impression than I see. Marriage is an excellent method of support and appreciation for the husband and wife and most importantly the daughter and son. Unfortunately these fantasies a couple pursue have various serious effects that don't always end the way of death doing them part. There is a failure to recognize and react to the possibility of different outcomes of marriage. That's the point I'm trying to get across. If people don't have the fundamental elements to support a family then perhaps the common thing to do is to reassess their selves.

[GraziLovesMary]

Read furthermore in the thread and you'll notice I apologized and agreed that I started this thread sending a different impression than I see. Marriage is an excellent method of support and appreciation for the husband and wife and most importantly the daughter and son. Unfortunately these fantasies a couple pursue have various serious effects that don't always end the way of death doing them part. There is a failure to recognize and react to the possibility of different outcomes of marriage. That's the point I'm trying to get across. If people don't have the fundamental elements to support a family then perhaps the common thing to do is to reassess their selves.

You misunderstand me, but that is my fault, I kind of had a feeling you would. I wasnt necissarily speaking to you, as I dont remember who had what opinion exactly. I am not trying to accuse anybody specifically of being bitter, or being negative towards the idea of marriage.

I agree with most of your sentiments, so Im pretty sure we see eye-to-eye on at least the majority of this topic if not others. I guess I was just throwing a couple pennies out there, and if it applied to somebody that read it, they could either take it for what its worth, or ignore it. The choice is in the air.

Wonderful eloquence, by the way. I always appreciate a well thought out and aptly worded argument.

[thcbongman]

I agree

Marriage is a piece of paper, that people think that they need to exspress there undying love for each other! Please everyone before thinking of getting this exspensive piece of paprer that binds you finacially to another person, please people make sure you know this person as well as you think you do! don't be blind to your so called undying Love! Listen to your family and friends, see it from the outside. Then maybe purchase that exspensive peiece of paper that comes along with an exspensive wedding Bill! (unless you choose not to have the exspensive wedding, good for you, cause love is not based on money) Years later I hope youyr Love truly lasts, cause if it doesn't, here comes the most exspensive and painfull part: The divorce!...Got kids? Hope not cause if ya think its hard on you, its even harder on the Kids..The fighting is no good either if your unhappy and ya stay together for the kids..

So my Advice, ya can take it or leave it: If Ya wanna get married make sure she/he she is absoulotely the right one!

Best advice ever.

If you don't his advice, you could end up like the dumbfuck like me after tripping on a night of 2c-i with my gf, who was pressuring me into marriage before that, and just convinced myself because I thought I loved her, why not?

hahaha. I don't have to tell you how the story ended up.

Wait, and see how long you can go without marriage. After all, it doesn't matter how long you are married, but the quality of your marriage. I think sometimes in this society, people forget, and rush in like fools.

Don't be a fool.

[someuser]

I hope many of you come to realize that marriage does not work. It is a waste of time, money, and "happiness."

We should live our lives simply, happily, and healthy.


I dont think marriage is for everyone and I dont think people should feel pressured to get married but I dont agree it is hopeless.

I think the main problem is people get married way too young. I think there should be a minimum age for being married... Like 26 or something... When you're in your teens and even early 20s you THINK you know who you are you THINK you know what you want but you CHANGE.

God knows I'm not the same guy I am now at 29 as when I was the age of most of yall. Had I gotten married to some of what I know now was flings (varying degrees of feelings) I no doubt would have been divorced.

My two cents.

[beachguy in thongs]

What's marriage? Is that legally binding?

I don't know any girl enough to marry. I knew one, inside and out, and, lived with her for six years. I had no reason to marry her. I would've, but, then I'd still be with her.

[sd6515]

I'm 23 and been married for 3 years together for 8 and everyday I wake up my life feels fuller and more complete just waking up seeing my wifes face and then getting up and seeing our beautiful son I know it can be tough and we have been through a lot already having my at 17 and there are many more tough times ahead but it comes down to the people and a relationship just like a person doesn't stay the same they are and have to constantly evolve and adapt and if you don't then things start to not work. But marriage isn't for everyone and definately not for the stubborn who are stuck in there ways and see change for love as being miserable or her changing me. My wife hasn't changed me but she has inspired many changes in me. But there are many things I have kept and she has changed and that adaptability is whats makes our relationship so strong, as it is always evolving, growing, and getting stronger as it is tested by all of life's hardships and built up by all of our triumphs together.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

SEE!^ Relationships like that are why people keep trying. You have a beautiful attitude.

[Abeona]

When Papi and I married, we had a Pagan wedding, so instead of "til death us do part", our vows were, "for as long as love shall last".



I guess I am lucky, myself and hubby know that both of these vows are intertwined if you see what I mean and I am sure that even after death love will still continue, marriage certainly works for us so to say that it doesn't well thats just sad.

Abeona

[beachguy in thongs]

I've always said that I don't want a bastard, so if I ever did get someone pregnant, I would've married them before the birth.

I have said, before, that I've smoked too many seeds to get someone pregnant, but, only as a joke.

[Mrs. Greenjeans]

I guess I am lucky, myself and hubby know that both of these vows are intertwined if you see what I mean and I am sure that even after death love will still continue, marriage certainly works for us so to say that it doesn't well thats just sad.

Abeona

Papi and I are convinced that this isn't the first time we've known each other. Death isn't an ending, just another stop on the journey.;)