Help me Rhonda, help me get the THC out! - Beach Boys

[Old Stoner]

Day two - The Castor Oil I have taken (4 ounces) has made me weak as a 100 year old. I'm telling you, guys, I stayed in the toilet off and on until 3:00 AM EST, and then FINALLY passed out on the bed. Drinking the Castor Oil, Geo, IS like from the forties, LOL. DO NOT DRINK CASTOR OIL, IT WILL ALMOST KILL YOU. I drank four ounces, and my wife says, oh, it'll be ov er in an hour. No hon, try 16 HOURS! I have a hundred questions!

Okay here all ALL the details. I am 50, weigh 245, am 6 feet tall, with more than likely a SLOW metabolic system. I am overwieght, I know, I know - loose weight, dude!

Anyway, Thursday night I burned three small bowls with my friend - one in the BC Vape - the other two in a small pipe - I am not sure how many grams that would be, but the bowl was not a one-hitter, it was probably a six or eight hitter, lol.

I had the vehicle accisent on Friday morning - straight of course (never had a ticket OR a wreck when stoned) - Was nervous as hell all day, but did another bowl Friday night because I was so stressed out - couldn't help myself.

I have not toked since then. (Note PO'd expression on Old Stoner's face, as he now HAS weed, just can't smoke it!)

I drank a four once bottle of Castor Oil Saturday at about 2;30 PM, and have been in the toilet off and on ever since. My arse is RAW (too much detail, I know, I know). Anyway, it has blasted more stuff out of me than I ever knew existed. I used to weigh 258 on Friday. Weighed this morning, wikth out eating since about noon yesterday, and now weigh 245.

This morning at 9:00 AM I started using this Herbal Clean QCarbo Plus, mad by BNG Enterprises, a 20 ounce bottle, with four booster pills. Almost finished with the bottle, and then I've got to drink lots of water. I know, fakeboobsrule, you8 said they don't work - but I purchased the crap from a nearby headshop yesterday, so I might as well use it, LOL...

I know, I know, I am writing this BEFORE I read the sticky's above, but I am looking for someone, or anyone, who can give me some advice, maybe someone who was in my same situation.

Will the small amount I used be gone by Monday or Tuesday? My company usually just sends folks up the street for tests - dunno if they schedule it or not?

What can I do to test negative?

On a side note, my wife is taking PROTONIX, for acid reflux. I have it too, and I have also taken some last week, maybe four or five pills ending last Tuesday. 40 milligram pill size. The instructions say you could show a false positive for THC on a drug test - lucky me. Google that "Protonix" and read what it says.

Anyone who could help, I'd be your friend for life! Thanks, my new found family of friends!

[beachguy in thongs]

What can I do to test negative?


Switch vials, when they're not looking. :asskick:

[geonagual]

I would say it is close...I am sure with all of that your body is wrecked...I think no matter what it is going to be close with the details given...I would side with that you will pass just because of the fluhing of your body..but I dont know..those things they sell at the head shop are a scam and never relie on them..sorry..at this point, I would say you may as well continue the dilution method..per the sticky...test yourself tonight with a home testing kit..if you come up hot, you better get something to sub with...how come you do not want to sub?

[FakeBoobsRule]

I drank a four once bottle of Castor Oil Saturday at about 2;30 PM, and have been in the toilet off and on ever since. My arse is RAW (too much detail, I know, I know). Anyway, it has blasted more stuff out of me than I ever knew existed. I used to weigh 258 on Friday. Weighed this morning, wikth out eating since about noon yesterday, and now weigh 245.


On a side note, my wife is taking PROTONIX, for acid reflux. I have it too, and I have also taken some last week, maybe four or five pills ending last Tuesday. 40 milligram pill size. The instructions say you could show a false positive for THC on a drug test - lucky me. Google that "Protonix" and read what it says.

Anyone who could help, I'd be your friend for life! Thanks, my new found family of friends!

That's awesome, you got rid of about 13 pounds of excess waste. That is also good because some THC is elimintaed by the liver through the feces.

A few years ago the proton pump inhibitor Protonox used to cause a false positive on immunoassay but then was discovered by GC/MS to be caused by the Protonox. I think it had to do with some patients at a nursing home on Protonix yada yada yada and they figured it out. They fixed the imunnoassay portion and it never caused a false positive on the confirmation by GC/MS.

3 small bowls between 2 people would probably be a one time high (if you are completely clean and smoke one time most people can test clean in about 5 days) but you are carrying a little extra weight so it is going to be close. You may want to read the dilution sticky if you aren't going to sub or get a good line on a home test.

Metamucil would have been more gentle on your system than the castor oil. The detox kits might make you go to the bathroom more too. It's too late for aerobic exercise to help.

[Old Stoner]

LOL, aerobic exercise wouldn't help my fat arse in a year, FBR. Just kiddiing...

Just got through looking at the dilution thread... some good stuff there...

Glad to hear the Castor Crap wasn't a total waste of riding the porcelin Honda!

We are tested every two years with a physical, as well. But the accident is gonna cause me to have to take the trst, either Monday, or more possibly, Tuesday. The reason I am afraid to substitute, Geo and FBR, is this - our two year tests are taken at one place where they just hand you the cup and say go pee. BUT when an accident occurs, they send you to another place, and the nurse (a damned OLD, UGLY woman) is IN the toilet with you. I mean touching your back, she's so close. I had an accident years ago, and that is what occured. So I am leary of trying to sub, but i guess i could get a kit anyway, just in case I go to the first place I mentioned.

So what you are saying, FBR, is that the Protonix excuse wouldn't work? Man, I'm telling you, it sure works on acid reflux. I had it bad for about a week, and took the wifes pills for about three days, and poof, no AR.

And trust me, Castor Oil mayl NEVER enter this body again. I felt like I was gonna die, LOL. I might if i hafta, but I hope I don't hafta no more!

Thanks for the help, guys, and BGIT, I'd get caught for sure if I tried to switch vials. Old and slow, ya know, LOL...

[angry nomad]

If you lost that much weight in shit, at least, the castor oil cleaned you out. It's really toxic to have that much shit in your system.

Good luck with everything.

[Old Stoner]

No kidding, Nomad, but most of it seemed to be just brown water. If I had 13 pounds of shit in myself, maybe that is why my wife says I'm full of shit, he, he, he....

Incidentally, just did a home piss test, for anyone who wants to know. This test I got at the local headshop. It is in a white foil package, with THC Cassette Test, Made in the USA imprinted on the side, and a few symbols, etc. The instructions state that Guardian Diagnostics out of San Jose, CA. made the test.

Anyways, to test positive, one rose-colored line appears in control zone C. To test negative, TWO rose-colored band appears in control zone C, and control zone T. Invalid would have a rose-colored line in control section T, and NOT in C. You wait from 3 to 5 minutes for the results.

I put the recommended amount of pee in the sample well, and almost 3 minutes later, a rose-colored band appeared in control zone C - meaning positive. I waited another minute, and a VERY FAINT rose-colored ,line started appearing in control zone T - meaning both CZ C and T had the rose-colored line - saying that I was negative.

But on the instructions, it said that "There is no meaning to line color or intensity or width. A line is a line, no matter how light or dark it may appear."

So with control zone C (positive) with an intensely rose line, and control zone T with a VERY LIGHT line, I am still thinking I'm good to go. A

Anybody ever used this kit? Am I right, or ridiculously and naivly wrong? I am scared shitless. This is the best job I've ever had, making more money than I'm really worth, LOL....

Talk about Paranoid!

I am going to Welcome to GUARDIANDIAGNOSTICS.COM (http://www.guardiandiagnostics.com) for a look now - just saw that website listed in little bitty letters on the instructions!

[Burnt Toast]

The reason I am afraid to substitute, Geo and FBR, is this - our two year tests are taken at one place where they just hand you the cup and say go pee. BUT when an accident occurs, they send you to another place, and the nurse (a damned OLD, UGLY woman) is IN the toilet with you. I mean touching your back, she's so close. I had an accident years ago, and that is what occured.

You should have refused submission at that point and inform that nurse that its against the law for her, being of opposite gender, to be inside the bathroom stall with you during a sample collection for a drug test.
Under DHHS regulations, whenever an observed collection takes place, the observer must be the same gender as the donor. There are NO exceptions. A person of same gender must be located for observed collections.

In a monitored collection, however, a person of opposing gender to the donor can be utilized, but, under DHHS regulations, the monitorer (regardless of gender) must remain outside the bath stall while the voiding takes place.

You should have sued.

Know your rights.

[Old Stoner]

Hey Burnt Toast, what is DHHS? I'd LOVE to look that up, print it out, and have it when I get tested. That COULD BE my saviour!

[Burnt Toast]

Hey Burnt Toast, what is DHHS?

The United States Department of Health & Human Services

[Old Stoner]

Thanks! Going there right now...

[beachguy in thongs]

I am going to Welcome to GUARDIANDIAGNOSTICS.COM (http://www.guardiandiagnostics.com) for a look now - just saw that website listed in little bitty letters on the instructions!

So, you're leaving us already. :(

You know, cannabis.com may move to a different URL, tomorrow. How are we going to find you at "guardiandiagnostics" to let you know where we are?

I'm glad that you passed. I think you worried the pot out of your system.

[Old Stoner]

NO, I'm NOT leaving, LOL. I had no idea of the different URL move... Where is that listed?

And I haven't had my test yet. Monday or Tuesday. It's coming, and your probably right, I have worried my ass off (not to mention the Castor Oil) - I have a TREMENDOUS headache...!

[Old Stoner]

Well, it's Monday night, and still have not been sent to the pee police. THANKS, Mr. Man, for giving me even more thime to detox, LOL...

May the Farce be with me, LOL....

[Old Stoner]

Now it's Tuesday night and no mention of the pee police. Took a home test this morning and tested way positive, after 4 bowls, three Thursday night and one Friday night. My metabolism must REALLY stink...

Wonder what is going on? Anyone know if the DOT tests must be performed within a certain time frame after an accident (I was driving a small CMV [28 foot - no CDL required] to get it serviced where we lease it at). I cannot find shit on the DOT site. I'm stressing bad now. I WILL substitue, I am in the process of ordering QuickFix 4.0, a urinator, and whatever else overnight. Might get the Whizzinator fake penis thingie as well.

FakeBoobsRule, or anyone who can help, any ideas? What is the best substitute, in your opinion, FBR, which opinion I value, after reading a ton of your posts.

Man, I am stressed out.

One more question - since I cannot smoke the Mary J, can I at least do a couple of valiums to calm down? - as I am NOT a big drinker. Two drinks and I get a headache and wanna go to bed, LOL...

HELP!

[Iguana]

Do you have the script for the valium? If not, don't take it.

[Old Stoner]

No script, 'tis the wifes' valium. She has the script. Will it show up on the test?

[Burnt Toast]

Nope. Benzodiazepines are not among the 5 types of drugs being tested on a DOT U/A.

[killerweed420]

I just read my DOT book on this.Reg 382.303(d)(2) Controlled Substance Tests. If a test required by this section is not administered within 32 hours following the accident, the employer shall cease attempts to administer a controlled substance test, and prepare and maintain on file a record ststing the reason the test was not promptly administered.

In my experience anyone falling under the DOT guidelines gets tested within 2 hours of an accident.

[killerweed420]

PS You should be safe from a UA test. They may try to get you to take it anyway. I would refuse but it may cost you your job.
If you're going to play with fire I would recommend you keep quickfix in the bag of stuff you take to work and keep it with you.It only takes 10 seconds at a microwave and you'd save your ass.:pimp:

[jeffman]

I would recommend you keep quickfix in the bag of stuff you take to work and keep it with you.It only takes 10 seconds at a microwave and you'd save your ass.:pimp:Excellent advice!!!!

[Old Stoner]

Just ordered two quick fixes of Quick Fix 4.0. Thanks Killer, I ain't risking the shit anymore... I'm gonna toke and be happy! That is, as soon as my QF 4.0 gets here, LOL...

[Old Stoner]

Well, it's going on Thursday, and no test yet. The 32 hour DOT thingie has long since passed, but they could still spring a random on my old tail. Not to worry - the QuickFix 4.0 and the Urinator will arrive tomorrow, and I already know I won't get randomed tomorrow - too much work, lol....

So Friday night it's Party Time! Dang, thanks for all the info, guys, you guys ROCK!

[killerweed420]

Be careful you old goat.The only issue with synthetic piss is you either need 10 seconds at a microwave or about an hour of stalling to allow the heating pack to work. I also keep a cheap digital thermometer with me to.The test strip only goes from 90 to 100 degrees so sometimes its easy to be a little high or a little low and not be able to tell by touch.

[Old Stoner]

ROFLMAO, you don't know how much "old goat" fits the person, LOL. Just click on my username and see the big orange picture on the right side top, he,he, he.

No worries, my friend. On the way to the Pee Police Palace, there is a handy little convenience store between there and my job. I'll just pull in, get a cup of coffee, warm the QF instead of the coffee, then step into the bathroom (right next to the microwave - how convenient) and use the digital thermo and attach the heat pack. Cram it twixt my legs in my tidy whities, and off I go, to screw over the Pee Police, LOL!

Trust me killer, I'm gonna practice and practice until it's like riding a bicycle!

And thanks, brother, for the advice! You are one fine dude!

[killerweed420]

Saw you pic.Must be nice to drive a new goat and live in a mansion.lol
You shouldn't need the heat pack unless you don't have access to a microwave.Wear tighty whities and put the container in a sock in your crotch. It'll stay at temp for hours.My last random I had to leave it there for 6 hours.

[Old Stoner]

Nah, that's not amansion, that is the bank building I bank at. It made a good back drop for the pics of the GTO.

Sometimes I wonder how "nice" it is to drive my Goat. Especially around the 28th of each month, when the payment comes due, LOL...

But really, the insurance ain't so bad. Guess they figure an old coot like myself won't smoke the tires or try out the speed limiter, LOL... Little do they know! 153 MPH comes REAL QUICK in that car, LOL...

nxt time you get away from Wash State, come on down to Georgia and I'll take ya for a ride in the GTO! We'll go huntin' for a Mustang to smoke, LOL...

GEEZ, six hours? I bet you were raw as heck at the end of THAT marathon, LOL...

[killerweed420]

Used to go to McDonough quite a lot.Been a few years.

[Old Stoner]

I'm about an hour and a half west of McDonough.