i need help

[420MissHighTimes420]

friday was so horrible. i cant talk about what i did because i will get banned. but lets just say i lost my shoes, and my purse, got arrested, and my parents took away my condo. (i was renting it out from them) i dont know what happened exactly but inside my purse was my debit card, my social security card, my id, my cell - which had a lot of numbers i need and wont be able to find because i dont know anyone who knows the guy im seeing so i'll never be able to talk to him, my camera which contained a ton of pics i hadnt uploaded yet so there gone, all my money. oh and all of my jewelry is gone and ruined a sweater dress i just bought. but i dont care about those things too much. also mostly i lost any ounce of respect my parents had. i tryed to hurt my best friend and ran away from her. i left her alone messed up in a city she doesn't no. shes also a very not street smart person.

i feel like i have hit rock bottom before. but this time it was 100% my fault and i feel like such a fuck up. my parents wont send me to rehab because they dont want to give me more money because i have been before and didnt get any better. and i dont expect them to help me. i was proud of myself working hard everyday and keeping my apartment nice and clean, and i actually dumped the loser who was using me. but i messed it up. i cant do anything right. help please. im desprite. and all of my friends are just a bunch of stuck up rich kids who are drug addicts and will just give me shit and tell me to get over it. i need some advice from some smart stoners. because damnit people who just smoke pot dont make these dumb decions. and i want to change.

what should i do?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP i feel like im drowning

[beachguy in thongs]

I'd think that you should disconnect yourself from your friends. You'll win your parents back.

Make sure you cancel whatever was in your purse (credit cards, etc).

[Hilder420]

ive been in a friendship like the one ur in where the other person tried to take advantage of me.. IMO u need to spend some time by yourself to sort out your head and decide what you want to do... how old are you again? the influence of friend is corruptive and if you alone decide your actions u might have a better grasp and understanding of what you need to do. but first you have to decide wether you want to change because you really want to get your Shit together or simply because you got caught.. karma is a bitch... all i can say is apologize as much as possible.. as far as going back to rehab and your parents not willing yo pay, start showing them that you really want to change (if u really do) by doing something on ur own.. like going to narcotics anonymous meetings or maybe even church, if thats ur thing... then again theres always government assisted rehab facilities to get u going.. then maybe if they see youre trying, they might be willing to help.. but youve got to really really want to change first.. and make sure of it before you get anyone else involved... Good Luck!!!! - Hilder

[birdgirl73]

Hilder took the advice right outta my mouth (or off of my keyboard), 420MissHT.

Lest any of you think I'm preaching 12-step treatment for pot here, you need to read her post above carefully and think again. I am not.

You can take steps to get yourself under control even without another stint in rehab, 420MissHT. At least for today. Find yourself an NA meeting and go to it. It's called taking step 1. Then go to another. Then another. Then another. Hit as many meetings as you can get to today, get some phone numbers, and start reaching out to the support that's going to be offered from the recovering people there. This'll help get you away from your self-destructive crowd at the same time, and you already know you need to break from them. If you don't have NA in your community, make it AA instead. Do the same thing tomorrow and over the following days.

Hilder is exactly right. You have to really want to change first, and that's why you need to take the first step. You are in control of the choices you're making, whether you want to accept that responsibility or not. Sounds like you're right on the edge of being ready to make that change, however, if you've pretty well hit bottom again. From a practical standpoint, make sure you cancel your debit card and be on the lookout for identity theft if you lost your SS card. Apologize to your friend and pay close attention when they cover step 9 in your meetings. If you were assaulted or were the victim of a crime in any way, report as much of that crime as you can remember and do what you need to to see about your health.

The power is yours, and you can take it or relinquish it yet again. I hope you'll take it. I know you're capable of doing so!

[geonagual]

Sounds like you fucked up big time...there is only one way to go from the bottom is up..Good luck girl...keep your chin up cause everybody messes up at some point in thier life.

[happiestmferoutthere]

everybody messes up at some point in thier life.

Quoted for truth!! Sometimes I wonder how I made it!! But somehow, we do. You will too.:thumbsup:

[Weedhound]

Not sure what happened but I'm an old drinker.....and looking around the next day to finally start noticing all the destrution I caused the day before sounds pretty much like your post......enough of it anyway.

These people are absolutely right......it all starts with the first step and you have to make it. And you have to want to......BAD. AA and NA are both great tools.....and the support from the people in them is amazing. These programs DO work.....if you work them.

Good luck.

[Gennaro]

friday was so horrible. i cant talk about what i did because i will get banned. but lets just say i lost my shoes, and my purse, got arrested, and my parents took away my condo. (i was renting it out from them) i dont know what happened exactly but inside my purse was my debit card, my social security card, my id, my cell - which had a lot of numbers i need and wont be able to find because i dont know anyone who knows the guy im seeing so i'll never be able to talk to him, my camera which contained a ton of pics i hadnt uploaded yet so there gone, all my money. oh and all of my jewelry is gone and ruined a sweater dress i just bought. but i dont care about those things too much. also mostly i lost any ounce of respect my parents had. i tryed to hurt my best friend and ran away from her. i left her alone messed up in a city she doesn't no. shes also a very not street smart person.

i feel like i have hit rock bottom before. but this time it was 100% my fault and i feel like such a fuck up. my parents wont send me to rehab because they dont want to give me more money because i have been before and didnt get any better. and i dont expect them to help me. i was proud of myself working hard everyday and keeping my apartment nice and clean, and i actually dumped the loser who was using me. but i messed it up. i cant do anything right. help please. im desprite. and all of my friends are just a bunch of stuck up rich kids who are drug addicts and will just give me shit and tell me to get over it. i need some advice from some smart stoners. because damnit people who just smoke pot dont make these dumb decions. and i want to change.

what should i do?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP i feel like im drowning

dude i feel you , lets start off by saying i am shy to talk to girls lol . allright are you religious if so well may fuck up can be fixed there and like i just got a job at mc donalds so if you ever need some help lol i can help you just say your name while saying gennaro at mc donalds and i will try to help you out other then that it look pretty good write back .

[Storm Crow]

Yep, you blew it! As have we all at one time or another. Consider this a learning experience- you have learned who you CAN be. It very seldom is something we care to admit to. It's quite a bit different compared to who you SHOULD be. You can turn this into a positive experience IF you grow from it! It's your choice!

"all of my friends are just a bunch of stuck up rich kids who are drug addicts and will just give me shit and tell me to get over it." Those are not friends. I'll just stop at that- you already know it. Act accordingly.

If you can smoke one (or even if you can't), sit down and start making lists. I know it sounds silly, but writing it all down can give you a clearer picture of things. It stops it from all chasing around madly in your mind.

Start with "where I am now". (Have the tissues ready) Then go into listing the "stop gap" measures (canceling credit cards, checking local pawn shops for the jewelry, apologies, etc) to prevent worse damage. Now, here's where it starts getting tough- "What do I want? And who am I going to be?" Lastly consider, "How do I get from here to there?" By the time you finish the lists, you will have a better idea of what you need to do.

Hang in there, it will get better! - Granny:hippy:

[The.Severed.Angel]

I've been in the same situation, parents, police and all. Realize that you will not bounce back in a day, it happened to me 10 months ago, and I still haven't got back in the groove. And your friends, they may not be friends now, but they are right, get over the emotional state of it, and fix your problem. It's okay to ask your parents or others for help, just don't have them do it for you. As for the group things and church don't go, because alot of people can go to those meetings and fake everything as I did. You can still go, but it's a bit depressing when you see a faker, or someone crash when they've gone so far.

As the others stated, take time for yourself, for me, I shut all the doors, turned off all the lights, and just punched walled and yelled. It was the only way for me to release it all, wether it's crying or just sitting there, clear your mind, and analyze the situation for what it's worth. It's not rock bottom, because you'll meet it again. It always feels like rock bottom, until you find that you can go lower, but you never picture yourself there.

Good luck, and get it right. Just quit piting yourself and get back on your feet.

[DaZeDShAdOw]

shit happens in life some for the worst and some for the best but it seems like every time we all are in a shitty time in our lives we say this sucks it is never going to be better or the same...........but in a few months everythings back to normal things to unfold the way they should in a weird way...sometimes not the next hour but slowly and surely.

[MadSativa]

well I dont get all of it but from what Im reading you have to stop drinking alcohol and stop binge drinking.

[extramadchicken]

you should just try to win your parents back. i think that if you just show that your on a path to improvement then they will help you. it will not be easy but if you dont do it then you might just keep going down a darker hole

[420MissHighTimes420]

thanks everyone :o you dont know how much i appriciate it.
i do have a serious problem and i know i do. and i want to change .... badly. im taking all of your advice. im going to go to aa and na because i have problems with a lot of different things. i need to stop all contact ith the 'friends' who arent good for me because even though i am in controll of own choices (clearly i have no self control though) being around a friend who isnt going to tell me to stop or keep giving me the things that they know i shouldnt be doing, isn't ok. and thats not a friend. i dont have any friends really. except this one guy who just took me in. im stayin on a futon in his place and its not too bad. pretty close to where i lived in the city before, and he doesnt want me doing any thing other than pot. i went over there and he listened to me sob, told me neither of us are going to do anything bad. ate a brownie and chilled out.

i am also going to go into a lot of therapy because i do these terrible things because im unhappy. hating myself as much as i do is a problem.

and i shouldnt hate myself. im young and attractive and i had a lot of opportunities and i blew it. i also want to go to college because my job isnt working and i really need to better myself

thanks to all of you agian. like i said i only have one other person who will give me decent advice and you all helped a lot. im goign to get better.
and although i feel like im at rock bottom i know it could get a lot worse, but i hope things only improve.
peace and love everyone thanks.

[420MissHighTimes420]

oh and there was a little ray of sunshine in all of this. a man called my house yesterday and said he found my purse in a bunch of bushes. my wallet and digital camera were missing. but he was a nice guy and wouldnt accept a reward so i dont think he took it. at least i have the purse its self and my shitty cell phone which wasnt good enough to steal lol. thank god for that. oh and the first thing i did in the a.m. was cancell all my cards.
thanks again for lisitig to my rant and helping

[Bogart]

thanks to all of you again. like i said i only have one other person who will give me decent advice and you all helped a lot.

First step you need to take is with the friend who can give you decent advice. Ask this person to be your accountability partner, some one who will talk to you daily in person or over the phone and ask the hard questions about your issues, and someone you can call when you get tempted and talk it out. All the rehab in the world isn't going to help if there is no accountability. This was the first thing I told my patients when I was a rehab nurse.

[420MissHighTimes420]

^^ yes. ive been to rehab once before and i went for my family not for me. which is why it didnt work. you cant force someone to get better. i didnt want to get better than, it was about 2 years ago. i relapsed after about a month not even. this time i want to get better. i dont want to be how ive been anymore. ill end up dead. after that night im honestly lucky to be alive. if it wasnt for the cop that arrested me i would be, or at least rapped.


im living with the one good friend. thank god he took me in. i need someone to support me. i hope this is the right thing.

im so ashamed of myself

[13thirteen]

[quote=420MissHighTimes420]^^ this time i want to get better.


If this is true than you can! I went to rehab a couple different times and they didin't work because I wasn't ready. When I was ready I didn't even need rehab, I got clean myself. As prevoulsly stated, you have to have accountability. You also need to get humble. I was that rich kid and I have totally changed, I got humble. Getting clean was the hardest thing I have ever done, but by far the most rewarding. You can do this too.

GOOD LUCK!

[Demeter]

Sweetie, if you have had that moment of clarity that tells you it is time to make real changes in your life, that is GREAT! If you have hit a bottom, that is GREAT- because it means you are ready for a new path. I had a moment like that 22 years ago, and I quit alcohol and drugs and cigarettes- and didn't need rehab to do it- AA and NA work! You just have to show up and ask for help. If I can quit that way, so can you- I was just as messed up and scared. I have so many wonderful things in my life now that I would never have had if I hadn't quit.

After being clean and sober for nearly 10 years, I allowed marijuana back into my life and ditched the Prozac...and so far no problems. To me, that is the test of whether something is good or bad for us- if it brings bad experiences, it is bad for us. If it brings positive events, keep doing it:thumbsup:

I don't know much about you, but I care about what happens to you. I was where you are now, and I was lucky to survive.
You deserve a good life. If you surround yourself with good people who support you- it will happen. Please don't settle for less! No excuses anymore- time to put on the big girl panties and get tough with yourself. You can do it:thumbsup:

[Weedhound]

I agree with Demeter here.....she's got the right idea absolutely. It IS an opportunity...and you ARE capable.....believe it. If the problem is alcohol then I don't want to hear one more fucking word about self-control.....because that is NOT what addiction is about and that kind of thinking will keep you down on yourself rather than seeking the right kind of help. Please PLEASE do not listen to idiots who tell you that all you have to do is "learn to say no" because they do not have ONE SINGLE clue what's going on.

Go to the meetings. Grab onto the people there. They are TERRIFIC. I glued myself to those folks for MONTHS after rehab.....I was terrified to be by myself because I was so afraid I would go back to my old lifestyle. They LITERALLY taught me how to live sober in a world I hadn't seen that way for 20 years.

Do it. It IS worth it. And so are you. :thumbsup:

[VoidLivesOn]

i find it funny when people fuck up their lives like this or hear "gun shots" or something they come straight here to find answers from strangers. i'm not saying everything people say on these things isn't true, i'm just saying do something else about it.

if i was in the current situation you were in ie., losing all my shit, friends, parents trusts, AND place to live i'm sure i wouldnt have anytime to be getting on some internet message board. i would be getting my shit straight.

i would suggest moving back in with your parents if possible or maybe the friend you fucked over after a nice long apology and get your life back together. and stop talking to your loser ass friends. you might feel like your falling off from them and they wont like you anymore but who gives a fuck, you'll win in the long run when your life is better. maybe you can lecture them when they try and sell you newspapers at an intersection in the future.

[420MissHighTimes420]

i find it funny when people fuck up their lives like this or hear "gun shots" or something they come straight here to find answers from strangers. i'm not saying everything people say on these things isn't true, i'm just saying do something else about it.

if i was in the current situation you were in ie., losing all my shit, friends, parents trusts, AND place to live i'm sure i wouldnt have anytime to be getting on some internet message board. i would be getting my shit straight.

i would suggest moving back in with your parents if possible or maybe the friend you fucked over after a nice long apology and get your life back together. and stop talking to your loser ass friends. you might feel like your falling off from them and they wont like you anymore but who gives a fuck, you'll win in the long run when your life is better. maybe you can lecture them when they try and sell you newspapers at an intersection in the future.

i have time to be on here, because im on the computer all day at my lame job. i dont have anythign better to do while im waiting for my boss to give me something to do. i ask these people for advice because a lot of the times its good, and it also lets me vent which makes me feel better.
im not taling to my friends anymore. i need them away from me.
im going to get help.
i need to cut out the hard stuff and the drinks
and im not able to live with my parents, they hate me, which is fair.

[420MissHighTimes420]

demeter u gave me some hope and u too weedhound thank u

everyone did and thank u as well void

[hero3279]

It's not your fault. Your parents should love you no matter WHAT you do. Your parents should back you up all the way. Don't feel bad about how your life has turned out. Your being mad on yourself. I don't know your parents but if they HATE you, then they aren't true real parents. That's not what parenthood is based on. The word hate should NOT enter their thoughts.

Stop being harsh on yourself. Look at all the positive things you have done in your life. Think of the times you got so drunk and had such a good time. Think of the time you first got high and couldn't stop laughing. Picture when you first met your buddy who's letting you stay at his. People come and go. Even people who were once 'BEST' friends. You lose friends, and others come. You think you can't be bothered with new friends or it's hard to go through 'all' that over again, getting to know people etc. But just how you met your friend now, you will meet more. This world is full of kind people. You just gotta make sure your not looking in the wrong places.

"Fall down 7 times, get up 8..."

All the best!!!! and Smile woman!!!!! :) :thumbsup:

And SMOKE A JOINT, please? It's times like these that weed was born for!