Wow, this is crazy! Need advice! Sorry about the long read.

[TheGreatBenzino]

KK so I live in Phx, AZ my love lives in Lng, WA. I call her my love cuase we broke up a month ago, so she's not my gf. ANYWAYS, we broke up cause the distance is too hard for her, and she was fading. NOW we dated for a year before i left..AMAZING. Seriously the coolest chick and relationship EVER no problems. Also even when i was here we woudl have minor problems. So it was weird when she started to fade and we broke up. I recently went back home for 5 days, and we acted like we were together and she still said she loved me. that was about 4 weeks ago. Now i called her SUNDAY morning, and she basically told me to stop waiting for her (cuase i was miserable) and she still loved me but it was different..(faded). So i have been not talking to her till today, where i couldnt take it anymore and did it. So she said she hadnt texted me cause she thought i was trying to get over her, and said that is waht she watns me to do. So i get sad, all depressed, talking to friends to help me and then my boss (i'm at work) says skylar come here for a moment. Gives me this job offer. I am a drafter, and work for a company that finds position to fill. So the company i work at, doesnt pay me they pay them then they pay me! hahaha get it? ANYWAYS he wants to hire me there, at 18 to 20 an hour..part time. PART TIME mainly cause he knows i want to continue my school and they offered to pay for 90% of my schooling if i get A's. but i originally planned to go back to school in WA. So i started thinking that is the best thing ever.... but then it hit me. NO MATTER how good that sounded, I still would of rather be with jessica. so i get out of the meeting. and text her about it, and am like Listen i need you to be really serious, (explain job offer) then ask I would only turn this down if you were serious about us in the future... like we would work on everything, nothing was ever really wrong but distance, but she is still in high school so if she still watns to party, we can work things out ( I know we can do it...TRUST ME). and she is like IDK what i want.

OOOOHHH NOW you dont know, a minute ago you were telling me to get over it! haha she asks how long till i have to know, i tell her to "take her time, and follow her heart" and proceed to tell her "if you tell me to come home, and it doesnt work out, i will not hold it against you (love is amazing:thumbsup:). and i told her that i want to come home for her but only if she is serious about me and her. So she is going to think about it.

this morning i had NO control or Power. now i have a majority of it. but one more thing... she never EVER EVER talks to her friends about our problems... but she went to my friend for help.. so she is scared now.. CUASE SHE DOESNT HAVE THAT SAFETY NET UNDER HER. She knows i woud do antyhign for her,but doesnt know what to want, but now that i might not come home.... she realizes what she needs!

soooo tell me your opinion, ask questions, give insight! ESPECIALLY THE LADIES!

[partcleguy]

Dude... you're giving this girl, who is in high school and whom you broke up with, waaaay too much power in deciding your future. It feels like the most important thing in the world when you think you're in love, but you are probably not. Its cliche to say it, but everyone else will tell you the same thing. You know why? Because they have gone through early relationships like this. Trust me, do what you want to do, not what she "might" do. Let alone the fact that she is in high school and will want to experience her own life. Don't even tell me you want to be attached like this this early... Good luck though....

[TheGreatBenzino]

Dude... you're giving this girl, who is in high school and whom you broke up with, waaaay too much power in deciding your future. It feels like the most important thing in the world when you think you're in love, but you are probably not. Its cliche to say it, but everyone else will tell you the same thing. You know why? Because they have gone through early relationships like this. Trust me, do what you want to do, not what she "might" do. Let alone the fact that she is in high school and will want to experience her own life. Don't even tell me you want to be attached like this this early... Good luck though....

KK homie! thanx for the advice. I agree with everything you say. Except, the most important thing in my life is love. I know i have a future, no matter if i take this oppurtunity or not. SO i see it as i will still continue school later... but falling in love like i did, doesnt happen often. Something is telling me if she tells me to come home, that i need to go home. its cliche to say it, but "i would rather loved and lost, then never have loved before".

[beachguy in thongs]

I'd take the job. Can't give you any advice, though, sorry.

edit: This is, as if I were in your position.

[dragonrider]

I would take the job and the offer to pay for your school.

Sounds like this relationship has already faded enough that she is moving on, and you need to do the same. Someone mentioned that you are giving this girl too much power in your life, which is true, but you are also putting too much pressure and responsibility on her, A high school girl should not be put in the position of making these kinds of decisions. She's too young to be asked to commit enough to you to make lit worthwhile to give up this job opportunity.

Also, you said that if she said to come back, and then things didn't work out, you wouldn't hold it against her. Are you sure that's true?

[TheGreatBenzino]

Also, you said that if she said to come back, and then things didn't work out, you wouldn't hold it against her. Are you sure that's true?

Yes, cause i heard the offer.... I IMMEDIATELY knew the only reason i would go home..... I know all this soudns like I'm walkng into a trap, but i dont care. I am not really leaving this decision to her. I have already made my decision. I want to go home...Arizona is just NOT for me... at all. but i dont wnat to go home... to nothing, when i planned on going home to her. SOOO really, if she wants me to come home i will follow my original wanted plan. If not.... then I have to tought it out!

[Atacil]

You have two paths in front of you... one is with jessica... the other is at the new job

before jessica did you ever think anyone would make you feel this way?

if you have a positive outlook on life and accept others you will find what you truely were looking for in the first place...

just let it happen... stop thinking about it so much...give people enough time and they will surprise you.. may not be pleasant

[TheGreatBenzino]

You have two paths in front of you... one is with jessica... the other is at the new job

before jessica did you ever think anyone would make you feel this way?

if you have a positive outlook on life and accept others you will find what you truely were looking for in the first place...

just let it happen... stop thinking about it so much...give people enough time and they will surprise you.. may not be pleasant


Before jess....hmmmm I was SOOO DIFFERENT. i didnt give a fuck about anyone or anything... my life my problems. Like i knew i could fall in love.... but NO WHERE NEAR this shit! first of all i AM best friends with her older brother, have been for 8 years.. so it was weird telling him i liked his sister.... Her family is like my family, they love me, i love them. my family adores her... its just a pretty fucking amazing relationship.. the only shaky thing is that i am here.. but only for like 2 more months! I have made many sacrifices for her and her for me.... I would never forgive myself if i gave up on something that might not come again...this strong or good. I can always go to school..... TRUST ME!

[angry nomad]

KK so I live in Phx, AZ my love lives in Lng, WA. I call her my love cuase we broke up a month ago, so she's not my gf. ANYWAYS, we broke up cause the distance is too hard for her, and she was fading. NOW we dated for a year before i left..AMAZING. Seriously the coolest chick and relationship EVER no problems. Also even when i was here we woudl have minor problems. So it was weird when she started to fade and we broke up. I recently went back home for 5 days, and we acted like we were together and she still said she loved me. that was about 4 weeks ago. Now i called her SUNDAY morning, and she basically told me to stop waiting for her (cuase i was miserable) and she still loved me but it was different..(faded). So i have been not talking to her till today, where i couldnt take it anymore and did it. So she said she hadnt texted me cause she thought i was trying to get over her, and said that is waht she watns me to do. So i get sad, all depressed, talking to friends to help me and then my boss (i'm at work) says skylar come here for a moment. Gives me this job offer. I am a drafter, and work for a company that finds position to fill. So the company i work at, doesnt pay me they pay them then they pay me! hahaha get it? ANYWAYS he wants to hire me there, at 18 to 20 an hour..part time. PART TIME mainly cause he knows i want to continue my school and they offered to pay for 90% of my schooling if i get A's. but i originally planned to go back to school in WA. So i started thinking that is the best thing ever.... but then it hit me. NO MATTER how good that sounded, I still would of rather be with jessica. so i get out of the meeting. and text her about it, and am like Listen i need you to be really serious, (explain job offer) then ask I would only turn this down if you were serious about us in the future... like we would work on everything, nothing was ever really wrong but distance, but she is still in high school so if she still watns to party, we can work things out ( I know we can do it...TRUST ME). and she is like IDK what i want.

OOOOHHH NOW you dont know, a minute ago you were telling me to get over it! haha she asks how long till i have to know, i tell her to "take her time, and follow her heart" and proceed to tell her "if you tell me to come home, and it doesnt work out, i will not hold it against you (love is amazing:thumbsup:). and i told her that i want to come home for her but only if she is serious about me and her. So she is going to think about it.

this morning i had NO control or Power. now i have a majority of it. but one more thing... she never EVER EVER talks to her friends about our problems... but she went to my friend for help.. so she is scared now.. CUASE SHE DOESNT HAVE THAT SAFETY NET UNDER HER. She knows i woud do antyhign for her,but doesnt know what to want, but now that i might not come home.... she realizes what she needs!

soooo tell me your opinion, ask questions, give insight! ESPECIALLY THE LADIES!

It is presumptuous for you to assume you know what she needs. She already dumped you. She lives really far away. She has probably dated a coupe guys since then.

Take the job. It's a lot of money.

Plus giving up a good paying job to move to another state to be with an ex-girlfriend who is still in high school is not noble, it's just plain stupid, and will make you look like a chump.

I know I may sound like a dick, but I am just being real with you. Reality is harsh sometimes.

[TheGreatBenzino]

It is presumptuous for you to assume you know what she needs. She already dumped you. She lives really far away. She has probably dated a coupe guys since then.

Take the job. It's a lot of money.

Plus giving up a good paying job to move to another state to be with an ex-girlfriend who is still in high school is not noble, it's just plain stupid, and will make you look like a chump.

I know I may sound like a dick, but I am just being real with you. Reality is harsh sometimes.

no worries on harshness... well not yet atleast haha. but it was a mutual decision to break up... we didnt talk during that period for 4 days... we talk everyday, and I know she hasnt touched somone else...or i wouldnt even be thinking about this. I know the love is still there.... i dont know cann.com the person i am now tells me to go home. by the way 2 monts till i go back forever if i dont stay....

[ilovebongs]

"True love always comes back" is what I say, both get some life experience, then in a few years time or whatever when you see eachother you may have changed how you feel or feel even more strongly about eachother. either way you will have both had some time to build on your own lives and if you get back together you will be able to build on your future together, by then you will have a good career and she will have had time to grow up more.

[napolitana869]

would you rather walk away now, having had a great experience with a girl who you consider to be a best friend and like family, or risk going back and ruin what could have been a great life long friendship between the two of you? Most high school relationships dont last in the long run. Most girls dont know what they want by the time they're in college, let alone still in high school. If you're relationship cant stay together when you're miles apart, how do you expect it to stand the test of time? It sounds like you are being offered a very good opportunity, do you really want to throw that away?

[O. G. ganja smoker]

Take the job dude fuck uh bitch she dont even know that she wants to be with u right now ur sprung dude its not love both of u are too young to be in real love. A job is a for sure thing a girl is not, even if everything is going good they change from one day to the next. YOU need to get your priorities str8 man love should not be your 1st thing to do at ur age just like in the movie scarface first u get the MONEY then u get the power THEN U GET THE WOMAN u dont want to keep learning the hard way. at 18 you need to be foucused on YOU YOURSELF AND YOU AGAIN:jointsmile:

[trainwreck530]

whats up brother? take the job. far as the girl is concerned,

A. dont get 2 emtionally involved this will fuck up B

B. always remain in control, dont get too lost in any 1 detail. the more u know about anything and the less she knows about everything, better off youll be:thumbsup:

girls just wanna have fun. play it cool.



DONNY:stoned:

[VoidLivesOn]

dude 18 bucks an hour? fuck her. or just make plans with her till she graduates so she can find a job where you live and you guys can get a place together. with that money you could afford it.

[Nailhead]

KK homie! thanx for the advice. I agree with everything you say. Except, the most important thing in my life is love. I know i have a future, no matter if i take this oppurtunity or not.

If you don't care that your future involves you bagging groceries and barely being able to make your mortgage payment, (assuming you even have enough money to save up for a down payment on a home that is), then by all means, go for "love". But really, you are very immature in thinking that you will miss out on love if you dump her for your future. There will always be another, and you really need to get your career together before you get in any serious relationships. You are passing up on an opportunity very few people are ever offered, you are foolish to do so over a relationship!

The best advice I can give you is to listen to the Tom Leykis show. Go to BlowmeupTom.com (http://www.blowmeuptom.com/) and click the "Listen Live" link in the upper right corner.

You probably have heard of him, he was on in Phoenix for a short time till the station dropped him, but you can always listen online from 3-8pm online, and I strongly suggest you do so. He mostly advises young guys simply how to get more tail with less money, his show brings up good reasons why you never should get married, or be in a serious relationship until you have your career together first.

[ScaryMissMary]

Take the job, you need to think about YOU. Yes I know you love her, believe me.. I am the person who would understand the most. I unfortunately am in love with an asshole who would step on my corpse if I died. We were together for a long time and I would die for him. You are so young, and you need to explore other opportunities. Things you never dreamed of happening will happen, and Im not talking about all good things either. I don't mean to be a bitch but you aren't thinking clearly. For God's sake shes still in high school, she doesn't really know what she wants even though she thinks she does. You need to grow up a little bit. If she wanted to be with you, she would be.

[TheDefiler]

SMM sounds like u are in a shitty situation too. Maybe u just need to get out?

[TheGreatBenzino]

Whats up my homies!! Updateifications! 1. I am getting me AS at a tech school in 3 months, and will make 25 to 30$ph outta school... so i am not worried about bagging grocery's. 2. I am 20, not too young, but not old. 3. I decided to decide myself, and not leave my eternal fate to that of a website (I do however, love your insight).

the funny thing though.... is put yourself in my situation.... you wouldnt make the right decision EVEN if you read this shit EVERYDAY!!!

[ScaryMissMary]

yes you are too young... 20 is very young to tie yourself down. Im only 21 and even I know Im still too young.

[imitator]

25-30 isnt much compared to what they are offering you right now. You are getting payed a decent sum, for part time work, and they are willing to pay for your schooling, which unless you are going to a crackerjack school, isnt cheap.

And just because you are worth a certain amount, doesnt mean you will find a job paying that.

Do you like what you do right now? Do you enjoy your job, can you tolerate doing it?

How much does this girl care for you? If she cares so much, wouldnt she be willing to try things after she gets out of school?

Personally, and I apologize if it sounds harsh or rude, but you are doing the stereotypical fucking retarded thing. The entire ordeal is so one sided, yet you dont seem to be seeing it. What is she doing to meet in the middle to make things work? It doesnt sound like she is doing anything, but yet you are willing to make all the compromises, and give up everything, for someoen who isnt even out of highschool yet? I apologize, but most highschoolers are fucking retarded, its in their nature. They dont know what they want, and they dont exactly make the best choices. Fickle creatures they be.

Also, you need to start thinking about your resume. You say in a few months you will be done with your associates, so I am assuming you are stopping schooling there and looking to the job market. Well, from personal experience, let me tell you that degree's dont mean jack shit anymore, its about the actual experience and references. I didnt get shit for jobs until after I got a few nice names on my resume as previous employers, even though I held a degree from a solid University.

You need to look to your future, you are young, and while that means that you can fuck up and still get back on track more or less unphased, it doesnt mean you should let that happen.

Personally though, it sounds like you already made up your mind before you even typed up the first post. Whatever your choice is, godspeed and the best wishes towards it, but if you havent decided firmly yet, take the time to really analyze everything. If you still feel that moving back home to try to get together with her again is the best choice, then so it is, but by the way you word everything you say, I dont think you really ever have given the job even a passing glance.

[gorillas695]

Iam female and it sounds to me like she loves u but is a nypho and does not want to hurt u by committing to u. She is young and will come around. Don't put your life on hold waiting, just keep in touch and it will happen when she is ready. It took me twelve yrs to marry the man I loved because we hooked up when i was 17. I didn't want to be another divorse statistic so we went through affairs and threesomes and experimented first after we made it through we realized we were meant to be together.

[Nailhead]

Whats up my homies!! Updateifications! 1. I am getting me AS at a tech school in 3 months, and will make 25 to 30$ph outta school... so i am not worried about bagging grocery's. 2. I am 20, not too young, but not old. 3. I decided to decide myself, and not leave my eternal fate to that of a website (I do however, love your insight).

the funny thing though.... is put yourself in my situation.... you wouldnt make the right decision EVEN if you read this shit EVERYDAY!!!

You can easily make $25 an hour at a grocery store lol :P

You are also so naive to think you will get a job after graduating that tech school, and as I've researched myself, most tech schools are insanely expensive and taught by idiot teachers. The schools simply can't afford to pay the teachers enough, because the smart ones are still working in that field, not teaching!

The best choice I made for myself was NOT signing up for a tech school that would have cost me about $30k for 2 years of school that isn't even valued by tech companies.

You are not only immature naive in your relationship, but with everything else. You really need to grow up, but I can tell you aren't actually going to take any advice you get, you have your foot all the way down on the pedal and are heading straight for that brick wall and are ignoring everyone telling you to stop.

[TheGreatBenzino]

KK so i have an Updateification, I decided to get married to............ARIZONA for five more fucking years!! YUHUP! i did waht all you siad i should do but didnt htink i would do! She just wasnt positive enough for me.... so i said i am staying!! So now its time to get my shit together and take the SAT's! THANK ALL!

[Nailhead]

for a second I thought you really were getting married lol

So are you going to a tech school or taking up that job offer from your boss? Either way it should be a better direction, always make sure to get your career in gear first, then after you have that done worry about relationships. Good luck!

[TheGreatBenzino]

for a second I thought you really were getting married lol

So are you going to a tech school or taking up that job offer from your boss? Either way it should be a better direction, always make sure to get your career in gear first, then after you have that done worry about relationships. Good luck!

I'm going to a tech school right now, when i graduate in Feb 2008 i will continue working and they will pay for me to go to ASU. its all good.

[TheGreatBenzino]

KK ladies and gents these are the details!

Today i told my boss i was staying.PROMOTION I work from 7am to 4pm, 37500 salary (a little more than 18 an hour). They will pay 90% of my tuition to Arizona State University (ASU) if i get A's, 75% if get B's, 50% if i get C's. SO! i am not going home anymore...still a little bummed but its all good!

peace easy!

[imitator]

KK ladies and gents these are the details!

Today i told my boss i was staying.PROMOTION I work from 7am to 4pm, 37500 salary (a little more than 18 an hour). They will pay 90% of my tuition to Arizona State University (ASU) if i get A's, 75% if get B's, 50% if i get C's. SO! i am not going home anymore...still a little bummed but its all good!

peace easy!

Glad to hear about the good news, and dont sweat the being bummed out man. Keep your eyes open, good things happen all the time, and you can find them as long as you are looking.

Keep us updated on how things end up going bud.

[TryptamineScape]

that's a fucking awesome job...and no worries friend...I was with someone for three years and then the same situation almost, except my job wasn't quite as good, and so on...but...needless to say I'm over it...I came back home later, we're best friends, everything is perfect, don't stress man.