Am i about to cave?

[Buck268]

Well, I was inventorying my herb stash box (I tend to loan out pipes and other various herb stuffs) and found I have half a bowl of shake in my grinder (as well as a roach and resin ball, but I don't feel like smoking those)... I'm about to pack it up in my mag-bowl... Does this mean I caved? I mean, its not even a full bowl... And I can't buy anymore as I'm literally spending all my money on my recent automobile repairs/modifications... I think its OK, eh? :rolleyes: :D

[RIP ODB]

Are you trying to quit just for yourself or for a job or something? But either way, yeah I think you're caving in.

[Buck268]

Well I cleaned up for a job, but it didn't happen (the job I mean, not the clean up)... BUt even afterwards I decided to myself that I will not go back to smoking like I was. Just not worth it. Eighter of the good shit ($50) every third day is just too much... Especially since my car is costing an arm and a leg to get back on the road (long story short, a few repairs turned into a few modifications... which always cost more than repairs :D )...

Anyways I'm still unsmoked tonight (so proud) but I don't have much hope I'll remain that way longer :( I just want to be able to sleep like I did in high school before my neck got fucked up, and such... Really I dont know if its my matress or my neck and back or what now. I do know my neck is absolutely fucked, but I am not sure why... And it just gets more fucked from sleeping on my bed. No pillow helps some, but then my back cramps up (my lats for those who know your muscles), which is equally painful...

[LilRedDevil]

Don't do it! You doing good!

[Buck268]

Past couple nights I've been up most of the night, and I'm friggin burnt out... Still cant sleep cuz after laying down for a few either my neck or my back starts to hurt like hell thanks to my matress (doesnt matter, if they didnt hurt my mind would just start racing 100mph like it used to before I started smoking the MJ)....

[RESiNATE]

I'm about to pack it up in my mag-bowl... Does this mean I caved? I mean, its not even a full bowl... And I can't buy anymore as I'm literally spending all my money on my recent automobile repairs/modifications... I think its OK, eh? :rolleyes: :D
hehehe, Buck...

See, the psychologists of this world would point out the obvious signs of an 'addict's psyche'...lol...trying to justify your thinking and convincing yourself that you are 'treating' yourself etc...

You did good to stay clean, dude - maybe you need a reward, eh?

About the lack of sleep and stuff - this is normal.
I too find it difficult to sleep since I haven't had dope 'on tap', so-to-speak, but realise that this is because my body is readjusting to the lack of that 'normal' ingredient (ie, dope) - and all my physical pain has returned too - back, neck, knees, etc..

If it was something like heroin or crack, that you had cleaned yourself of, then I would be the first to tell you not to do it...but it's weed, dude...so...

TOKE IT UP BRO, YOU DESERVE IT!!!

[Buck268]

Well, the reason I can't sleep is no longer herb dependant, as I found out after rotating my matress, flipping it over, then throwing my pillow out the window (damn thing does nothing but cause me pain!) and bunching up some blankets under my knees ;)

[Buck268]

oh, and chalk up another night without the pot in me blood... I didn't cave :D