Ever been caught?

[ilovelife]

1) Have any of you ever been caught masturbating? :p

2) Whats the weirdest place uve ever masturbated? :rolleyes:

[Encatuse]

Yeah. I've been caught masturbating. And I don't know for the second one. I've masturbated alot of crazy places. Church camp((ha! Take that, Jesus!)), on a train under some blankets. I've gotten head in the back seat while my x's mom was driving. That was paranoia right there. Thank god for blankets and tinted windows.

[Hektik]

I've never been caught spankin da monkey ^^ hmmm weirdest place uhhhh i guess school. I jacked off in school =/

[dog420]

Ha ha a perfect time to tell you about "The Danger Wank" lol

A mate told me about this the other day, heres the deal.....

You need to be in your bedroom preparing yourself, then call over a member of the family/partner (best if they are downstairs) in the time from them comming to see what you want, you have to pull one off before they reach you. You dont wanna get caught eh? The Danger Wank....lol

Peace

[Not Enough Herb]

lmfao to the danger wank

ive jerked it in a public shower while i was camping. i dont think it was very sanitary. and it wasnt an open shower, it was individual ones and it took forveer for sum reason

ps. im trying the danger wank sumtime

later

[Encatuse]

hahahah. Danger wanking sounds awesome. Thinking back on it, I've masturbated at school too.

[Hektik]

Ha ha a perfect time to tell you about "The Danger Wank" lol

A mate told me about this the other day, heres the deal.....

You need to be in your bedroom preparing yourself, then call over a member of the family/partner (best if they are downstairs) in the time from them comming to see what you want, you have to pull one off before they reach you. You dont wanna get caught eh? The Danger Wank....lol

Peace


lol imma try that shit. First with my gf with out her knowing, and if i can pull it off on her imma try it with friends lmao that is the greatest thing ever.

[Billiegirl]

i caught my mom once.... funny as shit

[ghostsmoker420]

caught your mom!!!! man...i feel sorry for you!!!! ive never been caught jackin off. and for the weirdest place ive jacked off...hmmmm... id have to say it was at school...not too weird...but i dont really do it i weird places...thats how you get caught..and that would be just imbarresing. :D

[CanaBliss]

I have had in-school suspension and thats where u sit in a white room with blinds over the windows and its located in the office. You get to do homework and nothing else for the whole day and of course after 5 hours I got horny and decided to wack off in the room with the blinds up (haha). Well I decided this wouldnt b too good to get caught in so I went into the office bathroom and cummed all over the toilet paper lol and walked out....

[terminator]

:eek: thats hardcore right there.. i've done a danger wank sort of.. basically i was at my grandfathers house and my mom adn him were right in the other room and i decided to stand in the kitchen and beat it .. first of all there isnt much between the kitchen and the living room where they were and my mom could have walked in at any moment and although there was a counter to cover me, it still would have been kind of obvious...dont ask me why i did it then and there it was just one of those times..i was bored and my imagination took off..
:p

[geoffrowley19]

yeah one time i was wackin it and didnt close my door all the way and my mom knocks and im like shit and my wangs hangin otu and she walks in and waslike "oh, im sorry i didnt know u were chanigng" and watlked out...it was so awkward, cuz we both knew, and i had to spend liek a 20 minute car ride with her right after that, we didnt say a word to each other...fuckin aawkward as hell

[Dick Justice]

Once I was on a bus and the guy across from me was jerking off.

Not cool.

[crystal clear pepsi]

PLACES I HAVE WACKED :rolleyes:

P R O U D .... - & - ........ T R U E


School bathroom ( i went to a CHRISTAN high sckool too :eek: , father forgive me haha)

Church Bathroom (need i say more ..... i was fallin asllep during seromn and didnt have n e adderal :o ... so next best thing :confused: haha)

In Some of My G/F's BEDS ( they were at work or gone and it smeeled like them and i was like "Here I go" :rolleyes: haha .... im a lil sick but i love it . couple times i cued their panties from the nite b4 to cum on ..... but when i told them i did it ((( well one girl i didnt tell she picked up her panties off the floor and asked me why they were full of CUM :p and so i had to "cum" clean :rolleyes: )))cause i wanted to fuck them and they wasnt there they all thoguht it was hot ..... then fucked me hahaha ...... and for the record they didn wash the panties before wearing them again ... my girls were freaks not skanks ;) haha )

and that is jsut a few of the places :eek: hahah


I have Been Caught By : :( :eek: :mad:

My mom (so much growing up :rolleyes: :o )

My Best Friends G/F :D

and thats it :cool: haha

[opiuser]

i tried the danger wank once... its what got me laid. my gf was knockin on the door while i was jerkin and i was close so i wasn't stoppin. my mom told her i was in my room and sent her up...

Akward 30 seconds as she walks in and giggles a little bit... then she took off her clothes xcept for bra and laid down next to me.

then she started masturbating... that was the biggest turn on in my life... she grabbed my dick so i started eatin her out... bl;ah blah blah... i doubt you guys wanna hear so im gonna shut up now

[crystal clear pepsi]

this is the sexuality forum LETS HERE IT

[ludacris420]

I jack off so much I ve been caught plenty of times. I mean i get sex a lot but sometimes id rather wack off. My girlfriend catches me all the time like when she is in the shower and im downstairs i pop in a porn and go to town and sometimes she comes down before im done. Also once in college my roomate walked in on me spanking watching porn on the computer and he made fun of me for a while. Ive also been caught by my mom and she asked what i was doing and i said what do you think and she said well hurray up and finish because your grandmother is here to see you.

[ludacris420]

Oh yeah i forgot to mention that my dog catches me all the time and usually if i m feeling lazy i will just cum on the carpet and he will lick it up. I know this sounds funny or gross but my dog loves to eat my cum i guess its sweet or something.

[JSTA]

DUDE! That's hilarious....................but disgusting. LOL

[opiuser]

Ive also been caught by my mom and she asked what i was doing and i said what do you think and she said well hurray up and finish because your grandmother is here to see you.


dude... thats hilarious. almost asd funny as the time on family guy where chris is behind the couch listening to his sister's friends at her slumber party. Lois says "Chris come out from there and go to bed...

Chris "i can't"
Lois "well finish up and then come out"

[Doobie Snax]

You haven't wacked in very weird places u lot hav ya? i id dit on a golf course once laying down
lol no1 was there tho so it wasn't that bad.
DS

[jacquelyne]

When i used to walk to the train station after school there were always weird men tossin outside this certain block of units.Back then it made me so sick i chased a guy with scissors once and swear if i caught him i would have cut his cock off.Dirty filthy bastards doing that around young school girls.

[opiuser]

...wtf

[Encatuse]

Don't let your dog eat your cum. Man, that's fucking wrong.

[Not Enough Herb]

LMFAO

this post is so godam hilarious...omg im so baked a tear came out when i was laughing lol

ew ur dog is a cum dumpster lol

later

[wannagethigh]

i've been caught a bunch of times. I have a little 2yr old brother down the hall so my parents often have to walk by my room at night to go make him go back to sleep. So one time i'm wakin away and i'm cumming right as my dad knocks on the door. I'm like "ahh fuck, hold up i'm about to get in the shower." hes like alright and waits a sec as I clean my cum off my floor and clothes (it just had to be one of those massive orgasms so the was too much come to fit on the tissues). so he just comes in my room, the porn is still on and everything. I;m like "dad wtf i said hold on." Ever since then he has never came into my room without waiting for permission lol.

and the weirdest place...i guess school

[Not Enough Herb]

^lmao u showed him man

god dam parents, y cant they just fuckin knock and wait?

or older brothers, i was fooling around with this girl in her bed and her older brother opens the door slightly, sees what were doing then walks in fully

lol what a fag

later

[rhinoblanco]

i like how he walks in fully, not just leaves when he sees what ur doin. yea ive heard of dogs likin cum, my friends dog is always lickin around the computer and everyone knows what hes doin

[hipEstoner]

oh shit,, the weuirdest place ive had sex was with my ex on the roof. people that have caught me have been my mom and this cop that was coming to do an investigation of who stole all the alchahol , he came in and was like" so can we start the investigation and i jumped under my bed andd ,,,,shit ima stop thereweirdest place has to have been on a plane trip to florida , i spent about 5 minutes jerkin so i probably flew over half a state a mile in the sky beatin my meat,, lmao

[spliffstar22]

i got caught in grade 7, my door was wide open, and my sis walked by, and didn't say anything, awkward week after, couldn't be in the same room lol

[makor01]

I got busted by my girl one night in bed. She wouldnt give me any so i decided to rub one out and she woke up in the middle of it. She looks at me was says what the fuck are you doing? I say whats it look like, you wouldnt give me any. So she gets pissed gets up and leaves. Needless to say i didnt get any for awhile after that.

Women..........you know the rest.

[mellow mood]

the weirdest place i ever did this is proly in my bedroom. yep sorry guys but i just dont know how u can fuckin do it at school. u guys are crazy man!!!

[justinsane]

haha, your dog is a jizz trap

[NoosaHeads]

Once My grandmother caught me Wanking Myself in my room..
But to her suprise I just shut me eyes and imagined her standing there nude..




If you Say you dont wank your a Liar.
and a fool if you say that you do.
So next time you see Mr.Bush on TV.
Remember He wanks himself to.....;)

[wannagethigh]

[QUOTE=NoosaHeads]Once My grandmother caught me Wanking Myself in my room..
But to her suprise I just shut me eyes and imagined her standing there nude..
QUOTE]

Thats fucked up mang. DO you really imagine ur grand mom nude? And when she walked in u continued ur business? WOW

[NoosaHeads]

No.

Its a Line out of a dirty ditty or rhyme....

sorry to dissapoint..

I've never been busted having a bat.
Been Busted Bumpin Uglies (Having sex) Plenty though...mostly my ex's Mum.
I think she enjoyed walking in I think she used to secretly watch sometimes.
I remember one time her Mum holding my ass for an uncomfortably long time whilst posing for a family photo....
never went there though... :o

[Ganjamon420]

wow i've never been caught jerkin and but i do have a wierd place i've jerked, I was walking down a road at like midnight haha lucky nobody drove by lol. jacquelyne sounds like the kinda girl i want to meet haha;) i'm into all that kinky dominatrix shit. the danger wank does sound like fun, gotta try it sometime lol. Peace

[5HT]

you had to ask!

I've almost been caught. My roomate in college was in frat so he was rarely ever in the dorm room. So I'm yankin it expecting him not to be there. I'm just about to spooge and I hear the door nob jiggle. I'm in a loft so luckily I pull the covers over, so he didn't see anything. But he pretty much knew as he said, "whacking off man?" I was like, "NO!" needless to say, I had blue balls for awhile.

Then there was the time our flight got fucked up and we had to wait in the airport for another 6 hours. So I probably masturbated about 3 times in the airport bathroom stall.

[wannagethigh]

Then there was the time our flight got fucked up and we had to wait in the airport for another 6 hours. So I probably masturbated about 3 times in the airport bathroom stall.

thats fuckin hilarious

[justinsane]

ever caught: nope..
Weirdest place: um... probably in my car driving down a dark road... but then you tend to speed.. and fog up the windows.... WEAR SAFTEY GLASSES! WEAR BRIGHT CLOTHES! WEAR A HELMET!

[TheLion]

thats fuckin hilarious
I second that.
I've never been caught, but I think the strangest place has to either be at school, at work, or in my grandparent's bathroom.

[mellow mood]

you guys are really fuckin crazy!!!!

[Nightcrewman]

Ive been caught chuggin me old sausage at the paint desk at our local B&Q diy store.I rang the bell for assistance to mix paint and the girl arrived to quickly to help, she was surprised as I let her have the full load down her leg. I have not been allowed back in the store

[Climbing High]

i've never been caught. but ive done it in some wierd places... airplane, public pool, camping tent, girlfriends moms room (long story).

[Creeper]

LOL! Some of these made me laugh my fuckin ass off literally lol. Anyway the wierdest place Ive been caught wankin it at was in my living room, I mean no one was home and I was like "fuck it, lets rub one off", and as Im doing it(we have 2 outside doors and one comes through the mudroom) a friend of the family comes up and before he knocks he peers through the window and what does he see? He sees me beatin my meat, and I see him as he does this and Im like "aww fuck", and he quickly turns around and leaves without even waiting, just gets in his truck and hauls ass, while I run up the stairs with my pants around my ankles lol.

[Juggalotus]

Ever been caught, a few times...

Weirdest place...My car, man i was so bored waiting for school to let out that i left school to beat off in my car and as i was doing it my fucking aunt walks up and taps on the glass. now thats fucked up...even more fucked up...she got in the car afterwards and asked me a question about her computer...wtf...

[mellow mood]

obviously she tried to forget what she just saw. now imagine the WORST: u see your grandma fingering in her bedroom. wow, i guess id prefer to die omfg man fuck why did i think about that? lol

[GHoSToKeR]

never been caught, but ive had loads of close calls lol

mellow, dude, you just made me spit out my drink lol

[Juggalotus]

yeah no shit man, ewww

[OzzyOz]

uhhh
my dad walked in on me
rofl

and he was like wtf... probablly because i had my door open, and kept wackin because i didn't realize he was there

[Cheery Cherry]

Hmm, I don't think I've been "caught"...if so, I don't know about it. I don't have any weird place where I've masturbated, but I've masturbated in a lot of different places. I've done it while driving (standard, btw), in a fancy restaurant where they had a looong table cloth, after ordering food, plenty of times in public restrooms, all the time at tanning salons, bars...

[oscar25]

Ive been caught chuggin me old sausage at the paint desk at our local B&Q diy store.I rang the bell for assistance to mix paint and the girl arrived to quickly to help, she was surprised as I let her have the full load down her leg. I have not been allowed back in the store

well i to have gave my self a good tug in my local diy store but i did it in the toilet that is for customers with a disability what you do is get your man out pull the help cord and try and shoot before some one opens the door from the outside thats danger wanking(well it said above the door do it your self)
so i did

one more time i gave it a pull was when i was on a train this blind chick sat across from me with her dog(she was great looking) i could not help myself i just got it out gave it a good old pulling and droped my full load all over the floor she was talking to my all the way through it that made it all the more fun and her dog licked up every last drop off the floor and when she got off the train she said bye it was nice to meet me.

[slipknotpsycho]

LMFAO

this post is so godam hilarious...omg im so baked a tear came out when i was laughing lol

ew ur dog is a cum dumpster lol

later
that's how i feel....and wth is up with jacking off at school i mean i know the same thing all the time gets boring but damn i wouldn't do that.....

[slipknotpsycho]

oh yea and ifyour expecting me to talk about masturbating go ahead and skip this cuz i don't have too much intresting to add....but here are some pretty weird places....once when i was on a long trip with my ex girlfriend with her grandma driving (neither one of us 18) and let me give you some info about the grandma...she is like over baringly christian she wouldn't even let us sleep in the same room or me and her in the living room. well after about an hour we started making out and then she grabbed my dickand i started fingering her and we did that for about two hours til her grandma stopped.....she never caught us either.....dunno how i think she knows what was going on and just didn't say nothing cuz how do you not notice something like that in a jeep cherokee? and another story is my senile ass grandpa walked into my room once when i was having sex.....he didn't look at as once we stopped and stared and coudln't relaly do anything cuz there were no covers or nothing on the bed at the time...he grabbed the can opener (used it to open some beers earlier) and walked out.....

[Smokey McPot]

I got busted by my girl one night in bed. She wouldnt give me any so i decided to rub one out and she woke up in the middle of it. She looks at me was says what the fuck are you doing? I say whats it look like, you wouldnt give me any. So she gets pissed gets up and leaves. Needless to say i didnt get any for awhile after that.

Women..........you know the rest.

The same exact thing happens in American Beauty.

[Smokey McPot]

You people to it at whack ass places. School, golf courses, planes, trains and automobiles? I do it in my bathroom and i have done it at friends houses so i guess that is sorta weird.

[makor01]

never saw it.

[El Motador]

1) Have any of you ever been caught masturbating? :p

2) Whats the weirdest place uve ever masturbated? :rolleyes:

1) Yes
2) In your butthole

[ZigZagZeppelin]

back in community college I dated a girl from sociology class, we were parking about 2am & she was givin me some head when a state trooper shined a flashlight right in her eyes.

I shriveled almost instantly, heh.

she was embarassed real bad, I busted her ass once in awhile after that when we'd get high. funny as hell looking back NOW, not at the time tho...

[rastabill89]

ive never been cought im sneeky, I jacked of in a small class room the teacher was reading a book and she feel asleep i looked over and her mouth was open and she was kinda snoreing and i was the only one in their and i was sitting on the floor over in the corner reading a book so i just pulled it out and beat it a couple times and didnt get cought i also jacked off over here at the computer while my mom was watching dr. phil and crying like 10 feet alway.....sorry about the spelling

[rastabill89]

lmao zigzag i cant imagen how embaresed i would of been

[Stedric]

I've had parents walk in while I was doing it under a desk or the blankets or something. They never noticed though, which was a friggin blessing.

Also (not really masturbating but oh well) my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy on her couch. Her mom had just left and we'd been in the mood the whole time. Anyways the shirts and bra had come off and we were getting ready to go further when her mom walks in. She came back in to get her keys and tell my gf to remember to do something. She walked in the room, grabbed something and was talking to us the whole time, but never turned her head just a few degrees and see us half-naked and terrified looking. May not seem so bad but...

She's DEVOUT BAPTIST :eek:

[maryjanemama]

LOL! Some of these made me laugh my fuckin ass off literally lol. Anyway the wierdest place Ive been caught wankin it at was in my living room, I mean no one was home and I was like "fuck it, lets rub one off", and as Im doing it(we have 2 outside doors and one comes through the mudroom) a friend of the family comes up and before he knocks he peers through the window and what does he see? He sees me beatin my meat, and I see him as he does this and Im like "aww fuck", and he quickly turns around and leaves without even waiting, just gets in his truck and hauls ass, while I run up the stairs with my pants around my ankles lol.
Hahahahahahaha!! :D I could picture that whole scene in my mind....what a riot!!

And Jacquelyne chasing some old pervert with scissors, OMG. :D :p

[muncheemama]

Ive never been caught...but I have been the catcher....ewwww I caught my brother peeling one off under a blanket while he was watching married with children in the living room. He must have a thing for christina applegate, or maybe the brother...whatever

[robert42]

this is gna sounds fucked up.

Was meantto be walking my bst m8s dog (whilst his family are on holiday, he leaves the TV on when hes out so the dog dnt get lonely (wtf) , so i went there and thought fuckkkk i need a wank so i flop it out start fuckin tossing off so im like eyes closed proper wank, Shot my load all over my belly open my eyes 2 metres infront of me is his neighbour starin right at me, she was shocked ididnt kno what to sayi just got up and went upstairs wheni came back down she werent there.

Needless to say i never walked that dog again

[LOVElife]

this is gna sounds fucked up.

Was meantto be walking my bst m8s dog (whilst his family are on holiday, he leaves the TV on when hes out so the dog dnt get lonely (wtf) , so i went there and thought fuckkkk i need a wank so i flop it out start fuckin tossing off so im like eyes closed proper wank, Shot my load all over my belly open my eyes 2 metres infront of me is his neighbour starin right at me, she was shocked ididnt kno what to sayi just got up and went upstairs wheni came back down she werent there.

Needless to say i never walked that dog again
hahaha good job mate!!

I'm not afraid to admit I can freely Wank at any destination I feel appropriate!! Had many a wank on the bus on the way back from the away games!!

I also got a wank off sme Chinese Bird on the Tube Last Christmas! I cummed all over her work suit, hahaha! Needless to say I didn't follow up this relationship!! :D

[Creeper]

Oh ya, the wierdest place ive unleshed the one-eyed-monster at was while i was with my grandfather driving right through fuckin london, and I was laying in the back, behind the backseat cause the car had one of those hatchback style trunks or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, and i wanked it right there, cause I was 13 and figured why the fuck not....how many times can an american say hes beat off in the middle of the road in downtown london!

:)

[Creeper]

oh ya...I never got caught on that last one thankfully......if my gramps had found out...he would have chased me outa the fuckin car, even with my pants down and all lol.

[irishAFRICAN]

My ex girlfriend was a right kinky bitch and she used to get me to go in2 places like the library or public toilets to jerk off while she waited outside for me. Afterwards when we were home and shit she would get me to talk about my encounter to her b4 I fucked her. She was a bit of an exhibitionist to be honest, which is funny because if you met her youâ??d think the sun shines outta her Irish lillâ?? assâ?¦â?¦in regards to being caught beforeâ?¦.hell yeahâ?¦.been caught by all my girlfriends, my mates (but ive caught a few of them so weâ??re even) and by some cleaner in a hostel once where I was stayin in Africa, to this day I dunno how the fuck she entered the room without me seeing herâ?¦

Danger wanks kick assâ?¦!! :D

Irish Jamaican.

[LIP]

I dont think I've been caught. Probs the wierdest place i've wanked is in a tent with 5 mates in there lol.... turns out i had the biggest dick... and my mate who moved away was in close second behind me lol

[toke it up 420]

idk, never een caught, id think ive been anywhere wierd
ik i did it at work once...is that wierd?

[kingkong.bomb]

Rofl I was such a sick little kid at 13 I have to tell someone. I've wanked off in a classroom full of other kids, about three times. In the school stalls, in my living room, on the school bus, at a mormon church; etc.. HAHAHA

the weird thing is, when I was high for no reason at all I told my friend all about masturbating in class for no reason at all. He didn't look at me the same way for a few weeks later lol.

[zephyrinne]

Hmm.. let's see. A couple places.. :)

In the back of my parents car coming back from a trip we had taken when I was like 15.. they were talking and stuff, and I was just laying in the back.

And in school one time.. crazy times in high school, I tell ya.

[MaryJaneintheCloset]

Yes... I was caught by this kid that lived down the street. I was 15, he was 16, and he knocked on my bedroom window (I was in my bed). It was night time, and apparently he was spying on me, and it wasn't the first time. I was SO flustered, I denied I was doing anything... he was like, "How about you do your thing, and I do mine?". I said hell no, and I was never able to look him in the eye after that.

As for the weirdest place, I've masturbated in the restroom at work. ;)

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

urg. Might as well post it now iv seen the thread haha. i was in my room. I was sittin on a chair with my pants down and my tackle out, and the room was kinda in a position where the back of the chair was facing the door, the chairs like wood and looks like this: http://www.wooden-furniture.com/pine%20furniture/chair/wfh001.jpg

Anyway, so yea like the back of the chair was facing the door, and my ass was kinda hangin out of the back, anyway yea, i was jurkin off over some porn on the screen. Then when im almost done theres a phone ring, i dont let it distract me and i keep on goin, and then i hear my dad shout my name saying someones on the phone, im at the point of no stopping so i jizzed all over my pc desk, and then like a few secs later my dad comes straight through the door with a phone in his hand, of course i had my pants down so i did'nt turn the porn off i just kinda moved my body to hide the jizz and my wee wee (haha, wee wee). But of course my ass was hangin out the back of the chair, he just put the phone on my bed quickly and then rushed out and closed the door.... It was soooo fucking embarssing.... Neither of us never mentioned it again tho.

[CrAzYpOtHeAd]

Yes... I was caught by this kid that lived down the street. I was 15, he was 16, and he knocked on my bedroom window (I was in my bed). It was night time, and apparently he was spying on me, and it wasn't the first time. I was SO flustered, I denied I was doing anything... he was like, "How about you do your thing, and I do mine?". I said hell no, and I was never able to look him in the eye after that.

As for the weirdest place, I've masturbated in the restroom at work. ;)

wtf, what a lil perv haha.

[Mansin]

Yeah i got caught by my mom, my dad, my friends parents, my friends sister, my brothers girlfriend and thats about it. The wierdest place i would have to say is....during a football game at my highschool. it was really cold so everybody was bundled up, my girlfriend decided to give me a handjob and i was getting anxious so i finished it myself.

[LIP]

lol!!!!!

This is so funny, im crying and laughing uncontrolably lol!!!!!

[Delta.9]

Ha ha a perfect time to tell you about "The Danger Wank" lol

A mate told me about this the other day, heres the deal.....

You need to be in your bedroom preparing yourself, then call over a member of the family/partner (best if they are downstairs) in the time from them comming to see what you want, you have to pull one off before they reach you. You dont wanna get caught eh? The Danger Wank....lol

Peace

I LOVE IT!!! Great stuff

[WhiskeyGirl]

1) Have any of you ever been caught masturbating? :p

2) Whats the weirdest place uve ever masturbated? :rolleyes:

Is this a Cannibus site?

[yoda]

Is this a Cannibus site?

yeah, but its also a sexuality forum

[irishAFRICAN]

Is this a Cannibus site?

No are you crazy or sumink?? ;)

[hempomatic]

i find it hard to

[hempomatic]

....sorry

[willystylle]

Ha ha a perfect time to tell you about "The Danger Wank" lol

A mate told me about this the other day, heres the deal.....

You need to be in your bedroom preparing yourself, then call over a member of the family/partner (best if they are downstairs) in the time from them comming to see what you want, you have to pull one off before they reach you. You dont wanna get caught eh? The Danger Wank....lol

Peace

Ha Ha the danger wank lol

a mate told me about this too - apparantly theres a whole game, with rules, points, etc.

like if you're driving and wanking - can u get off before the cops pull you over. - 5 points.

Invite your in-laws (or g/f's parents) over and get off before they (1) arrive - 5 points (2) knock on the door - 10 points (3) come to the bedroom - 20 points.

Having sex in the cinema and getting off before the 10-year old kid next to you starts crying. - 10 points

[Az.]

i Jacked off in a tree once.....lol
that was probably the weirdest place...

I have never been caught thankfully.

[Crosis]

On a roller-coaster. If you're familiar with Ohio, you're familiar with our shitty weather. Hardly anyone was on the Millenium Force at Cedar Point, and I was horny.

[ilovebecky]

Yeah i got caught by my mom, my dad, my friends parents, my friends sister, my brothers girlfriend and thats about it. The wierdest place i would have to say is....during a football game at my highschool. it was really cold so everybody was bundled up, my girlfriend decided to give me a handjob and i was getting anxious so i finished it myself.

Jeepers crow! get caught much? I could see your parents or sister but friends parents!? What the fuck did you say to them?! lolol im sorry...

[MaryJaneScott]

i Jacked off in a tree once.....lol
that was probably the weirdest place...

I have never been caught thankfully.

Crap. And here I thought a bird had pooped on me. :(

[JuggaloAtTheDoor]

on the way 2 florida w/ my whole family in the car.. under blankets (I was in the very back seat w/ every1 else ahead of me.. so it worked

[irishAFRICAN]

on the way 2 florida w/ my whole family in the car.. under blankets (I was in the very back seat w/ every1 else ahead of me.. so it worked

awh dude! did u get caught?

[Jahangir 420]

My dad caught me jerkin it 3 years back about.

It was dark, had music on my big headphones while strokin it to sum pics.

All of the sudden i look to the right and its my pops at the door.. im like woah.. no .. dont come closer yo!

we are indian btw and he got an accent so this fuk goes

"Vot ees dees? Vot ees going on here??? VHY are you luking at your computer and tuching your pee pee!!! WHO ees dees white girl on da screeN??? Ees dees your wife???"

I was so embaressed I didnt jerk it that whole night.

[Peach.Optimo.Bluntz]

my step mom always slaps my ass for some reason, maybe i should try the danger wank on her =P

[Eshelmen]

thank god i`ve never been caught

i`m a savage of my privacy

if i have 2 mins till someone comes in.. i`ll take it

if i`m horny i`ll find the best places...

like outside, even in my car,movie theatres,church bathrooms,my moms bathroom,the garage,restaraunts"Saying i have to take a shit, i come out all sweaty"
Even driving in the back of a car i`ll beat it...

[halo]

thank god i`ve never been caught

i`m a savage of my privacy

if i have 2 mins till someone comes in.. i`ll take it

if i`m horny i`ll find the best places...

like outside, even in my car,movie theatres,church bathrooms,my moms bathroom,the garage,restaraunts"Saying i have to take a shit, i come out all sweaty"Even driving in the back of a car i`ll beat it...

What the fuck?

[Tom Swierzbinski]

Ive been caught having sex once. Actually, I think that it was the first time that me and Emily were doing it round mine. Or the second time. My dad just walked in (I was on top so I couldnt see him) and started saying that somethings wrong with the PC. We just carried on banging away once he left.
Weirdest place Ive had a tug? Must be when I had just shot a rabbit and was waiting for them to come out again. Well, to pass the time I decided to have a tug. Once Id zipped him back up, there were 4 rabbits out. Shot another two, had another tug then shot another rabbit.

[irishAFRICAN]

Ive been caught having sex once. Actually, I think that it was the first time that me and Emily were doing it round mine. Or the second time. My dad just walked in (I was on top so I couldnt see him) and started saying that somethings wrong with the PC. We just carried on banging away once he left.
Weirdest place Ive had a tug? Must be when I had just shot a rabbit and was waiting for them to come out again. Well, to pass the time I decided to have a tug. Once Id zipped him back up, there were 4 rabbits out. Shot another two, had another tug then shot another rabbit.

well if the rabbits caught you wanking, maybe that counts? :confused:

[BongZoola]

sometimes when i wank it my cat comes up to me and stares so i splode all over him












joking....

























or am i?

[Peach.Optimo.Bluntz]

................................................ :eek: ..................................................

[OniEhtRedrum781]

yes, a few times, but with my word play, i made it seem like it was allllllll an illusion

[irishAFRICAN]

sometimes when i wank it my cat comes up to me and stares so i splode all over him












joking....

























or am i?

Im reporting you to the RSPCA....:pimp:

[smoke it]

i jacked of on a roller coaster dis summer

[PaulCT7]

When I was in London with a school trip, I went out the window and tried to wank off on the roof top onto the streets below. But I was too drunk, and there were three dudes in the room behind me, and I couldnt get it up... :(

[dreadedben]

sometimes when i wank it my cat comes up to me and stares so i splode all over him












joking....

























or am i?

Joking or not, that is funny shit :p :p :p

[Delta9 UK]

Oh man this thread is teh funneh :thumbsup:

OK first time "caught" - at the time this was pretty bad...

I was 11 and going on holiday to Australia. The flight was landing en-route for fuel but it was pretty much a 23 hr journey.

So I waited until there was no-one waiting for the toilet and figured what the hell? Looking back I sort of joined the one-man mile high club ;)

So I get into the toilet/cubicle and I have this picture I "borrowed" from some guys paper - (For the brits Page 3 or something similar) - basically a topless girl (hey I was 11!) and I manage to stick it to the mirror in there so I can get going.

So I pulled down my jeans and manage to get my balls over the sink (I'm having to stand on tip-toe) and I'm really going for it. I start pulling away.

36,000 feet speeding through the sky.

My mum gets worried easily.
She alerts an air stewardess.
Air stewardess knocks on the toilet door and asks if I'm "OK?"

I'm more than OK, to be fair she was really fit and I'm about to bust a nut - problem is I'm that far gone that I don't even answer.

My mum is right behind her.

At this point it gets tricky - pretty much the same time that I'm giving the sink a one man mayo makeover the door opens behind me.

Now this is doubly fucked up because I'm looking right into the mirror so I see both the look on my mums face and the stewardess.

I hadn't locked the door properly - it hadn't caught :o

Thankfully the stewardess shut the door but she was smiling - my mum was just all "shock and awe" you could tell she was thinking a hundred things at once - none of them good.

So I left quickly and sat back down trying to ignore my mum and talk to my dad who clearly didn't know :rasta:

I was just about calmed down and had stopped shitting myself when the stewardess appeared at my side and passed me a folded up bit of newspaper and just smiled.

I had of course left the picture of the topless page 3 "stunner" pinned up on the mirror after my hasty wank-retreat.

Doh!

But this was when British Airways meant you always got 110%

[irishAFRICAN]

Oh man this thread is teh funneh :thumbsup:

OK first time "caught" - at the time this was pretty bad...

I was 11 and going on holiday to Australia. The flight was landing en-route for fuel but it was pretty much a 23 hr journey.

So I waited until there was no-one waiting for the toilet and figured what the hell? Looking back I sort of joined the one-man mile high club ;)

So I get into the toilet/cubicle and I have this picture I "borrowed" from some guys paper - (For the brits Page 3 or something similar) - basically a topless girl (hey I was 11!) and I manage to stick it to the mirror in there so I can get going.

So I pulled down my jeans and manage to get my balls over the sink (I'm having to stand on tip-toe) and I'm really going for it. I start pulling away.

36,000 feet speeding through the sky.

My mum gets worried easily.
She alerts an air stewardess.
Air stewardess knocks on the toilet door and asks if I'm "OK?"

I'm more than OK, to be fair she was really fit and I'm about to bust a nut - problem is I'm that far gone that I don't even answer.

My mum is right behind her.

At this point it gets tricky - pretty much the same time that I'm giving the sink a one man mayo makeover the door opens behind me.

Now this is doubly fucked up because I'm looking right into the mirror so I see both the look on my mums face and the stewardess.

I hadn't locked the door properly - it hadn't caught :o

Thankfully the stewardess shut the door but she was smiling - my mum was just all "shock and awe" you could tell she was thinking a hundred things at once - none of them good.

So I left quickly and sat back down trying to ignore my mum and talk to my dad who clearly didn't know :rasta:

I was just about calmed down and had stopped shitting myself when the stewardess appeared at my side and passed me a folded up bit of newspaper and just smiled.

I had of course left the picture of the topless page 3 "stunner" pinned up on the mirror after my hasty wank-retreat.

Doh!

But this was when British Airways meant you always got 110%

if cannabis.com was handing out awards for the funniest post....ud win it hands down breadren...:thumbsup:

[smitty420]

haha seriosuly that made me laugh, awesome story

[orangeman]

1) No

2) In the mirror

[GreenKing11]

I've never been caught. But the wierdest places are school, and jail, lol.

[MbanjeBoy]

weird how being caught wanking is somehow worse than being caught having sex. I guess it's cuz you got to shoulder all the blame and embarassment yourself when you're alone.... I've been caught a span of times, but only by my mates and a few times by my brothers. Never by my parents, thank God!

As to the weirdest, ummm... shit, I don't know... In a jacuuzi, in the sea (yeah, I know... just when you thought it was safe to go into the water.....I'm sorry!) plane toilets, train toilets, school toilets, my office, outdoors in the jungle (Africa), Jeezlaik! Where haven't I done it!

I blame it on being overly sexed and going to a private all boys school as a kid!

[irishAFRICAN]

I've never been caught. But the wierdest places are school, and jail, lol.

isnt it mandatory in jail anyway?? :stoned:

[irishAFRICAN]

When I was in London with a school trip, I went out the window and tried to wank off on the roof top onto the streets below. But I was too drunk, and there were three dudes in the room behind me, and I couldnt get it up... :(

awh dude, thats weak! anyway ur lucky coz I wudn't have been happy walking past ur hotel and a blob of jizz landing on me you cunt! :thumbsup:

[YouD0nt]

Hmm the wierdest place was at camp, we were all sitting around in our lawn chairs, I had some of those silky athletic shorts on so I got a boner, said I had an itch on my leg, Leaned forward and wanked one, Didn't finish tho, I went to the bathroom for that, It was crazy.. no one noticed.

And nope, I've nvr been caught (thankfully!!)

[misk]

i had a wank in a full classroom wen i was like 9 loll

been caught by everyone lol, mum, friends, friends parents, strangers.
duno where the 'weirdest' place would be lol did it at work before, in the coolroom loll

[nitemarehippiegirl]

I've never been caught, well, not un-intentionally!

but when I was working at a summer camp this 9yr old kid fell asleep in the back of our bus on the way back from a field trip. He started pulling at himself while he was sleeping! I felt so bad, the other kids teased him for the rest of the summer.

this thread also reminded me of a tori amos song about when she was younger she used to be in the basement of the church while her father was given the mass (her dad's a priest)
that song always makes me hot...

[chris420]

not masturbating but... I did get caught having sex for the first time by her little cousin that just happened to have to tell her something at that particular moment

[Inferius]

Oh man this thread is teh funneh :thumbsup:

OK first time "caught" - at the time this was pretty bad...

I was 11 and going on holiday to Australia. The flight was landing en-route for fuel but it was pretty much a 23 hr journey.

So I waited until there was no-one waiting for the toilet and figured what the hell? Looking back I sort of joined the one-man mile high club ;)

So I get into the toilet/cubicle and I have this picture I "borrowed" from some guys paper - (For the brits Page 3 or something similar) - basically a topless girl (hey I was 11!) and I manage to stick it to the mirror in there so I can get going.

So I pulled down my jeans and manage to get my balls over the sink (I'm having to stand on tip-toe) and I'm really going for it. I start pulling away.

36,000 feet speeding through the sky.

My mum gets worried easily.
She alerts an air stewardess.
Air stewardess knocks on the toilet door and asks if I'm "OK?"

I'm more than OK, to be fair she was really fit and I'm about to bust a nut - problem is I'm that far gone that I don't even answer.

My mum is right behind her.

At this point it gets tricky - pretty much the same time that I'm giving the sink a one man mayo makeover the door opens behind me.

Now this is doubly fucked up because I'm looking right into the mirror so I see both the look on my mums face and the stewardess.

I hadn't locked the door properly - it hadn't caught :o

Thankfully the stewardess shut the door but she was smiling - my mum was just all "shock and awe" you could tell she was thinking a hundred things at once - none of them good.

So I left quickly and sat back down trying to ignore my mum and talk to my dad who clearly didn't know :rasta:

I was just about calmed down and had stopped shitting myself when the stewardess appeared at my side and passed me a folded up bit of newspaper and just smiled.

I had of course left the picture of the topless page 3 "stunner" pinned up on the mirror after my hasty wank-retreat.

Doh!

But this was when British Airways meant you always got 110%
Were you high when you wrote this? I'm high as I'm writing this, but still, even compared to other posts, this one just seems to be written like a perfect story teller... almost too real... hm... :cool:

[herostyle]

nah never. This is funny tho.

[420mory]

in the cemetary

[graymatter]

DUDE! That's hilarious....................but disgusting. LOL


Agreed! But dogs are scavengers... yuck

[orange floyd]

"Vot ees dees? Vot ees going on here??? VHY are you luking at your computer and tuching your pee pee!!! WHO ees dees white girl on da screeN??? Ees dees your wife???"



that is probably one of the funniest things i've ever read

[pogmoasal1]

lets see i havent been caught as far as i know

but the strangest place is under my deck outside
its kinda like a danger wank except you hope there
are no cops driving around or
the people in the house next to yours dont decide
to take in the veiw of your house at that particular
moment in time

haha one of the houses my grandpa lives in to so there is a little extra danger right there

[Delta9 UK]

Were you high when you wrote this? I'm high as I'm writing this, but still, even compared to other posts, this one just seems to be written like a perfect story teller... almost too real... hm... :cool:

Yes I was, I re-wrote it twice. It wasn't cribbed from a website or anything cheap - honest to god true story and wrong in so many ways :)

Plus a similar thing happened later on in the holiday on a coach (big one with a toilet in) but that's another story ;)

But yes I was high and had a lot of fun writing it, at the time it was pretty bad (I have worse stories though) but looking back its pretty harmless in retrospect :smokin:

[Greenport]

LOL cummy the dog

[Spiggums]

Haha whenever i whack it my dog stares at me so i jizz in his ear so he gets swimmers ear. jk jk i havent been caught yet.

[orange floyd]

When I was 19 I was laying on my back in the living room with a porno on the TV. I had this fucking raging hardon and was jacking off. My 17 year old sister walked in the room, I dont know who it scared more! We became lovers for a little while after that, we had oral sex never intercourse so it wouldnt count as incest. I have wacked off in so many weird places I don't know what is the weirdest.

wtf man i hope ur joking. tahts still fucking incest you sick fuck

[TheBudBuster]

Oh yeah i forgot to mention that my dog catches me all the time and usually if i m feeling lazy i will just cum on the carpet and he will lick it up. I know this sounds funny or gross but my dog loves to eat my cum i guess its sweet or something.

You are one sick puppy. BUT UR COOL>!>!>!lmao:thumbsup:

[SpiritLevel]

ROFLMFAO! oral with ur sis? LMAO! do you live 1000miles from neighbors.. i'd sooner put a hole in the earth and fuck it than have a family member sucky my dicky

[Inferius]

When I was 19 I was laying on my back in the living room with a porno on the TV. I had this fucking raging hardon and was jacking off. My 17 year old sister walked in the room, I dont know who it scared more! We became lovers for a little while after that, we had oral sex never intercourse so it wouldnt count as incest. I have wacked off in so many weird places I don't know what is the weirdest.

Holy shit... :eek:
in·cest (ĭn'sĕst') pronunciation
n.

1. Sexual relations between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom.

[pogmoasal1]

this thred went from really funny to kind of iky

[bobbydabud]

i dont think ive been caught

but one time i got so horny on the airplane on a school trip i went and jacked off in the bathroom

[led.zeppelin]

never been caught whacking it. but had a friend walk into my room when i was "with company" i was on the bottom and saw him, and he stood there for a while giggling and making faces that was creepy

[pbzeppelin90]

((ha! Take that, Jesus!))

lmfao. god bless you.

[Shannon]

wtf man i hope ur joking. tahts still fucking incest you sick fuck

LOL. true say...

[SocksThaClown]

Not me, but my overly horny friend is always jacking off and humping everything.
Say I'll be playing video games and I looked behind me and he is humping a stuffed bear (he laughs and said his Wang was out, fucking perv) I told him if I caught him jacking off behind me I would kick him in the balls.

Well one day he thought he would be funny, so he called me upstairs. When I opened the door he was jerkin it, he started laughing really hard and said something like â??Iâ??m in front of you, har har!â?�. So I was staying at his house one day watching TV after he fell asleep, and his mom came out wearing nothing but a thong. (Note we were 13 at the time, and i have always sort of had some sexual feelings towards her) I got a boner and she giggled. Anyways she went into the bathroom and I started jacking off. When she came out i stopped.. at least until she was back in her room.

That's why I think she's a milf.. At least I hope-no wish that she is.:D
To this day pretty much everytime i see her, i get hard on. I guess I'm a perv too.:o

[qdavid]

it does not count as incest. If we had sex then it would be incest. We only did oral.

Like Lex and Terry would say "Ala.....[B]BAMA[B'

[qdavid]

Guess I kinkda fucked that one up. Let me try agan"Ala....BAMA"

[Green Love]

I got caught in the service,
banging a chick in the barracks.

[stoned_sniper]

Holy shit man! This forum is funny. Okay let me see here...I think my dads caught me a bunch of times while I was at the computer. Even though it was in a different room, he could still see me if he like turned his head enough. Im sure other family members have caught me spankin it, but nobodys brought it up.

Okay now the weirdest place I've jerked it off was on the couch at my friends house when I was 10. It was early in the morning and nobody was awake yet so I figured why the hell not? And I rubbed one out there.
Another place I did it was when I went to visit my sister who lived in a different state. During the nights I was there, I had to bunk with my nephew who was about 9. I was 16 and horny. So while the little dude slept on the floor, I was on his bed and began beating it. Didn't get caught once so HA! I'm amazing :D

[stoned_sniper]

p.s. I will now go and smoke a bowl and began jerking off to some stupid shit on tv. Night night people. :thumbsup:

[SmokingPlatypus]

the weirdest place i ever did this is proly in my bedroom.

Where else would you do it?

[Nightfire24]

the bedroom man hes a weirdo i preffer were everyone can see me (joking)

[Rose Bud]

Once I was in the bahama's with my cousin, mother, and her Fiance. Well we had a 5 room suite and I slept in the living room on the pull out. My mother and her Fiance were in teh bedroom, which was attatched to the bathroom, which was attatched to the kitchen, which was attached to my room, so on so forth. Well I was watching some porn on the TV ( Yea, teh hotel had porn for free ) and my mom walked halfway through the kitchen and I looked over my left shoulder and seen her just standing there, she turned around, and went back to her room, and I finished up.

Weirdest place? Well, the usual in the school bathroom, but theres a twist, our bathroom stalls dont have doors on them for some reason, so I stood like I was pissing and just beat my meat like no otehr

I also worked construction one summer, and wacked off in a porta potty.

[ozzan666]

haha jesus christ,,, man im pretty sure ive been caught, but no one has said anything,,, and the worst place would have to be one morning when i was drunk and my friends were passed out, i jacked off in my friends laundry room looking at his mom's/sister's thongs...FUCKIN "A"

[Whos Carl]

Oh yeah i forgot to mention that my dog catches me all the time and usually if i m feeling lazy i will just cum on the carpet and he will lick it up. I know this sounds funny or gross but my dog loves to eat my cum i guess its sweet or something.

I nearly my shit myself from laughing when I read that. Fucking legend.

[ddropdeadfred]

I've was caught by my mom when i was about 11. She walked in, took one look, and walked out. She never mentioned it. The nastiest place I jerked off in was a porta-pottie in North Carolina in the middle of the summer. I was sweating my ass off and trying not to throw up from the foul stench of 100 other peoples shit. Oh, and yes, I'm a sick fuck.

[pogmoasal1]

ah shit smell + jerkin off = my favorite

and socks you should ask that mom if she wants to fool around

[JMRinFLA]

One time I was in my office with the door closed "having lunch" and a girl who worked for me walked in just as I was finishing. I pulled my chair close to the desk as the door started to open so I don't think she actually saw anything but from the look on her face I could tell she knew. She was cool about it though and never let on.

[cannabis=freedom]

I went to the Okanagan Hockey School in Penticton when I was 14, and I was lying in the dorm room at night, having gone about 5 or 6 days without beatin it, and suddenly I felt the horniest I ever had. So I rubbed at myself for a while on the top bunk and then left to go to the bathroom. I ran into a stall and glorified myself in about thirty seconds, then walked out of the bathroom to find myself staring at the guy on the bunk below me, a six-foot-four black guy. Keep in mind I was five-seven when I was 14 (I'm six foot now), and I looked up at him and oh god u should have seen it, it was hilarious in retrospect. We looked at each other for about ten seconds, then he said, "Go to bed." And god, did I book it. He told everyone the next day, and god, was I made fun of for the rest of the hockey school. The other kids nicknamed me "beat it." lol