Help acouwaila be happy contest

[Acouwaila]

So whoever doesnt wanna hear bullshit problems u can click out now..

but if u wanna be nice and help an empty soul out...pls read and respond

__

Ive been feeling so empty ... ive got no motivation, ive got nothing driving me...the problem is...im lonely...and i cant stand being alone

my girlfriend just left for college to go 2 hours away...we were best friends...i love her so much...more than anything in the world...and her love for me keeps me running

now that shes gone...we barely get to talk....its kind of hard when u lose someone so close to u...

Ive got no one to talk to about it...ive got no money to go see her.....ive got no gas to go anywhere outside of this small town to find a job....

on top of all of it...im really jealous...and she told me she met two guys tim and tony...football players...im so jealous of them

let me try to tell u exactly what sums up my feelings...

im stuck on this grey road at night ...in a world where the sun never comes up...and the road doesnt end....at this point on the road...depression rules everything...and nothing is helping me to take a different path...if i have one little bit of inspiration to leave the road...it lasts for seconds and then goes away...i already see more dull moments ahead on the road...and no way to escape them

i fear worse moments that could possibly be coming but theres no way to prevent them if they do come...and IF they do come...that will lead to an even longer dull road.

Im scared she will fall for someone or get drunk and make a mistake...it kinda sucks that i will be depressed until that point...and then for a long time after that point...

nothing makes me feel better...i just partied all weekend with my friends from college...but its unfilling...and will not stop the pain...

so far, drinking helps...but i know that shouldnt be what I rely on....

I havnt smoked since she left, but ive got a feeling that will just make me even more sad

Ive got some friends that care about me which make me feel better....but I cant really see them a lot either...most of my time consists of sitting, thinking, hoping, being depressed and lonely....scared as hell

sorry....i guess that sums it up...

i kind of never found jesus either...and i dont think i ever will

due to being an open minded person.

any inspirational words will be appreciated...

[Coelho]

Man... my advice is not happy, but i was in a situation like yours some time ago, and know how it feels.
I know its very hard, but you must have a life of your own, you must not depends on her for being happy.
When i had my first girlfriend, i gave myself completly, she was my life, my happines, my reason for living, and so... im sure you know what i mean.
Then... she left me. Regardless anything i felt for her, she left. And one part of me died. I lived almost one year like an empty, soulless being. If i were weak, i would have killed myself. But, even if i were weakened by her loss, i still had some strenght left to keep living, what i did, even if i hadnt any reason for living.
Then i started to smoke, and that was my rebirth. I only am a living person today because i started to smoke, and it gave me a whole new view of the life.
Now, im happy again. Im alone, and dont care about it. When it were the right time, i know i will find my "choosen one", my soulmate. While this time doesnt come, i keep living.

Anyway, my advice is, try to be somewhat more independent of her. As more you need her, more you will suffer if she left. I know its a terrifying thought, but you must be prepared for it. It may never happen, but who knows? I would not prefer to risk.
Being dependent of something (or someone) is not good. Its risky. Do something, find something else to fill your life.
In my case, whenever i feel sad, or lonely, or whatever, i do smoke. Mother Mary Jane is my best friend, and she never lets me down. But be sure to smoke only Sativa strains (mind high, giggly, spacing out high), cause indica ones (couchlock) will make you more depressed.

Best wishes for you, my friend! :thumbsup:
Keep tokin! :rastasmoke::stoned::jointsmile:

[nightlight]

i just saw the love of my life for the first time in a year and the interaction actually went very well. now i am a wreck all over again. i was where you were two years ago, and am somewhat going through it all over again right now. shes been gone since yesterday afternoon and i have been steadily wasted since then. now i am sobering myself up and i dont know