Post about your current relationships [Archive] - Green Grass Forums

da dubs

08-15-2007, 07:02 PM

OK...HEAR GOES...

(short version)

I meet joanne 19years ago on august 20..i fancied her from afar,for a few years she was hot,,even hotter now..anyways we are married now for 11years,and seperated for a year a few years ago,,a lot of outside preassure and me being stupit,was the main cause...
Since we went tru some many good years,we were bound to hit a few rocky ones,and we did...but at the end of the day i love her,and her me,,we are a great team,when we communicate,and after 19years communication is the key..
WE were also lucky enough to have kids,and that in itself is hard work raising 3boys,but worth every second of it,,
MY parents were married for 47years,befor my dad passed away,they were a great set of parents and they taught me some good values to carry into my relationship,with my best friend and wife jo..
it takes work to keep a relationship going,,if you care enough about the other person it dose not seem like work at all..and it makes waking up beside that person all the more special...:) :hippy:

GraziLovesMary

08-15-2007, 07:08 PM

im a soon to be single grazil lol just putting it out there

Hehe well you are more than welcome to move to Columbus, but the thing is, Ive got my mind set on moving to Asia for a good many years, so I dont want to hurt anybody when its time to go, thats why Ive been avoiding a relationship. Ive had a couple girls tell me they would go with me, but I also may very well end up participating in rope fights in Burma, which are fight to the death. I dont want a girlfriend to see me kill another man. Or, should I meet my match, I dont want her to have to see me get killed in a quite brutal manner.

EDIT: Just wanted to add that you seem like the type of girl that I would date, though, so I might end up fuckin myself over if we were to meet lol. Im still down though :p

stinkyattic

08-15-2007, 07:14 PM

I have many relationships going on right now. However... they are of the platonic nature..Good one Grazi.
Would you consider your love affair with Mary more of a platonic, romantic, or agape nature?

420MissHighTimes420

08-15-2007, 08:04 PM

Hehe well you are more than welcome to move to Columbus, but the thing is, Ive got my mind set on moving to Asia for a good many years, so I dont want to hurt anybody when its time to go, thats why Ive been avoiding a relationship. Ive had a couple girls tell me they would go with me, but I also may very well end up participating in rope fights in Burma, which are fight to the death. I dont want a girlfriend to see me kill another man. Or, should I meet my match, I dont want her to have to see me get killed in a quite brutal manner.

EDIT: Just wanted to add that you seem like the type of girl that I would date, though, so I might end up fuckin myself over if we were to meet lol. Im still down though :p

i just moved into Philly so your welcome to come stay at my place anytime

and its awsome you plan on going to Asia, especially Thailand it's in my top 3 countries to go to, most amazing food, and the people I've heard are unbelivably nice --- but maybe not the ones that your going to meet while they try and kick your ass

420MissHighTimes420

08-15-2007, 08:09 PM

Good one Grazi.
Would you consider your love affair with Mary more of a platonic, romantic, or agape nature?

hmmm you should make a poll thread

idk about grazil here but i think me and sweet mary jane have a sort of friends with benifits type of relationship. she makes me horny sometimes, but for the most part she is there to make me happy wen im sad, and she makes me laugh when im bored.

oh and I know I'm not the brightest color on the palet but what does 'agape nature' mean?

Jouryokujin

08-15-2007, 08:27 PM

I'm a 19 yr old Sophomore in college. My gf and I have been going on since the day before highschool started. She doesn't smoke, but doesn't care that I do. It's all good though, more bud for me.

TallulahGreen

08-15-2007, 10:18 PM

I'm going to be 22 next month..been with my boyfriend since I was 19 years old...friends with him since I was 17 years old..

Hes my best friend ever...and we just moved into a sweet 3 bedroom house..we have 2 dogs and a turtle..

I don't know what I'd do without him. Sure we've had our rough spots, but we always know whatever happens we will work through it, and never does the thought occur to us to break up. We know we have something good, and I feel the longer we are together the better our relationship gets.

I think it takes time to get to know someone, we are all very different, and in order to make something work between two people you have to learn how to do that. Nothing is going to be perfect, a relationship can be very hard..but so can anything. Just gotta work through things, and if the person is worth it, I imagine things will be fine.

He has a great job and I work and go to school. Luckily we get to spend a lot of time with each other still.

I'm pretty stoked.

:) :) :)

couch-potato

08-15-2007, 10:23 PM

we have 2 dogs and a turtle..

LUCKY!!!

TallulahGreen

08-15-2007, 10:31 PM

LUCKY!!!

I consider myself to be very very lucky.

:)

BabyFacedAbortion

08-15-2007, 10:47 PM

Well, haha you all haven't heard much about my dude and I lately so I'll post here, plus..I'd love to vent haha.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 and a half months and our relationship sucks. I don't know why I'm still with him, I honestly can't figure it out. We break up atleast 3 times a week. It wasn't always like that though, I swear! Maybe I'm holding on to what was once good...the beginning was amazing, he was perfect in my eyes, exactly what I wanted..the "bad boy", lol. He used to fuck me and it was amazing, he'd whisper in my ear and I'd swoon. He'd walk, talk, dance, sing, and I'd drool.

Now, he's madly in love with me, he loves every single thing about me, every flaw, everything. Which wouldn't be a bad thing, if he wasn't obsessive about it. He lives at my house and if he's not here, I'm at his. I never have a free second to myself and if I do it's not for long. He's always up my ass, calling or texting or IMing "I love you" "I love you" "I love you", even my friends are tired of it. He's also an alcoholic. Every fucking day he comes home to me with beer on his breath, the most disgusting smell and taste ever. I stopped drinking because it reminded me of all the times he's come to me, trashed, puking, crying, screaming, angry/sad/too happy, ect. He was abusive for a short period of time, but that stopped quickly once I threatened to leave, now he just fucks with my head when he's mad, threatening to break up with me, like I'd care.. Honestly, in the past two weeks I've thrown his stuff outside 4 times. I used to put it back where it was but now it's sitting in bags near my door, I know we're gonna "break up" again, so why waste my time?

I constantly try to dump him, but he cries or has a fit, if he dumps me he 'takes it back'. I can't figure out how to get the fuck out. I don't even know if I still love him. He's a gangster and I'm not. I like dyed hair and DIY clothes and he hates it. I like ALL music, he just likes rap. I'm way too mature for him, he acts like he's 13. When I'm around him, he makes my skin crawl. I hate kissing him and we haven't had sex in weeks. He disgusts me at times, and other times I just want to strangle him.

happiestmferoutthere

08-16-2007, 12:04 AM

I have a great relationship. I've been with my husband 23 years, although we've actually only been married 3. I didn't want to get married,( I wanted an "easy-out" if I needed it) and he was extremely understanding about it. He did not pressure me,although he asked me hundreds of times, and on my 40th birthday we got married. I am truly married to my best friend, and we have a blast together.
We have raised our daughter(she's almost 20 now and married) and we are having fun not having to be "responsible" parents for a change. We are on our second childhood in a sense. Although I had an absolute blast raising my daughter and wouldn't have traded that experience for the world, I am truly enjoying my freedom again!
We have had our moments and our problems(including being separated for a year), but our relationship is stronger and better than ever.
I am truly and madly in love.:s3: Til death do us part!

thcbongman

08-16-2007, 12:10 AM

i just moved into Philly so your welcome to come stay at my place anytime

and its awsome you plan on going to Asia, especially Thailand it's in my top 3 countries to go to, most amazing food, and the people I've heard are unbelivably nice --- but maybe not the ones that your going to meet while they try and kick your ass

Hell yeah preach it!

I'm just bias because I'm half-Thai lol!

FakeBoobsRule

08-16-2007, 12:22 AM

BFA, how many times have people here told you to dump that loser? Just do it and you will feel so much better. He's going to prison anyway so might as well do it now.

thcbongman

08-16-2007, 12:23 AM

Anyway, I am not in a relationship, but in love with someone across the ocean! She was doing an internship for school, but the first day I saw her, I had the hugest crush on her, I thought she was so beautiful. Little did I know, she felt the same way. 2 months passed by, we were so shy to talk to each other, and didn't think we were interested in each other. With a little nudging from a co-worker, 4 days before she went back home, I just kissed her, and everything fell into place, I spent the best 4 days of my life with her. How everything happened, it's so magical.

We talk everyday still, and learning about each other more! It makes me fall in love with her more. I'm visiting her in 4 months, and I simply can't wait to see her!

Even though she's not here, and I miss her, she makes me feel alive and strong. I never been so happy in my life.

It really sounds kinda dumb, but it feels so right!

birdgirl73

08-16-2007, 04:11 AM

I'm married and have been for 23 years, almost 24. It's a good and loving relationship, and it's gotten better and easier over the years. I suppose we're accustomed to each other now. We had our ups and downs in the early years but held on. We have one son, and I think it's important for him to see that when the going gets tough, couples can work through their differences without throwing in the towel. We have enough things in common to be compatible but not so much that we bore each other. The heat still exists between us, which is nice. For many couples we know who're at the same stage in life, passion has long since faded.

I haven't been as attentive a wife as I wish I had been in recent weeks, and I feel guilty about that. This has been a strange summer for me. Dave, if you read this, I love you very much. Thank you for putting up with me!

420MissHighTimes420

08-16-2007, 03:02 PM

Hell yeah preach it!

I'm just bias because I'm half-Thai lol!

My best friend is also half thai -- really good looking lol - but he just went and joined the navy I miss my booboo

420MissHighTimes420

08-16-2007, 03:05 PM

twoguysupnorth

08-16-2007, 03:41 PM

me and my bf/partner have been together for 5 yrs now. it is usually good and sometimes hard. we had a bit of trouble the second year but worked it out, and im glad we did. we really love each other and except for when we are really arguing( lol ) we agree that we will probably always be together. we will see how that goes though.hehe. he has wanted to get "married" but i consider what we have as close to that as you can get w/o paper. maybe someday, both when it is legal and we both feel it is right. he wants it on paper and i just want to have a kickass party.

13thirteen

08-16-2007, 03:48 PM

My husband and I are going on 3 years this November. We have a great time together, he is my best friend! We are celebrating our 3rd anniversary this year at Cannabis Cup, we honeymooned there and it was great. We truly love each other, faults and all.

silkyblue

08-16-2007, 03:50 PM

Married 35 years

had one man only

him

Therapy helps:thumbsup:

stinkyattic

08-16-2007, 03:59 PM

he wants it on paper and i just want to have a kickass party.NICE. I like the way you think!

The dude I'm seeing is my tenant's best friend. I never really noticed him before, other than the guy who drives the same car as me and has a big beard, lol. We all went tubing recently, he had shaved his beard, I almost didn't recognize him except by his VW, and we got to talking and discovered that we had a lot in common, and made plans to go fishing soon. So we ended up being fishin' buddies for a while. Just recently, we had plans to play hooky from our respective jobs for the morning and go put the hurtin' on some brookies, and I suggested that he come to dinner the night before- a date, omg! Sure enough, things worked out beautifully that evening and we've been seeing a lot more of each other. It's a very low-pressure, relaxing sort of relationship- no pressure or stressful expectations; we had already been friends, and I am just happy to chill out and see where it takes us. I'm 6 years deep into my career, and he's halfway through college (25 though so not too much of a youngun). There's a lot that will certainly happen but he's a good kid and I know I've got nothign to worry about.
Plus he is a pretty good home brewer.... :D SCORE!!!

birdgirl73

08-17-2007, 01:11 AM

Therapy helps:thumbsup:
I agree wholeheartedly. It does help. They key is working on stuff before it gets out of hand, too. I'm pretty sure Dave and I wouldn't still be married if we hadn't taken advantage of this during the difficult phases. Does wonders for helping couples communicate effectively, too. At least it did for us.

qdavid

08-17-2007, 01:46 AM

I'm sort of a recluse. I live out in the sticks and I'm somewhat disabled. Only 30%, but enough so I can't teach or do much of anything. My back is too unpredictable. Very quiet here. I'll never live in a city again. As far as relationships, I kind of like being single. My wife died last year and maybe someday I'll jump back in, but right now I ain't in no hurry. But shit happens, fast. You just never know.
And my 2 cents BFA, I agree with FBR. Plenty of fish baby.

BlAzInIt4:20

08-20-2007, 11:59 AM

IM single.. and i feel very lonly at night when i ly in bed alone..

Demeter

08-20-2007, 04:28 PM

Married, 10 years. Love him dearly. Heat,not really, but that's okay, I have had plenty of heat and heartbreak in my life, esp since he's husband #3. That used to bother me, but my own chemistry is changing and that heady physical experience now matters much less than our continued support of each other. Maybe I'm jaded about "being in love," but sex used to rule me- I was drawn to men for all the wrong reasons (he's so cte!!), and now I feel free of its tyranny. I found a great guy who loves me, a man I love and respect and can laugh with, cook with, and share even the deepest sorrows and still feel hope. I'm pretty lucky:)

wannabehippiegirl

08-20-2007, 04:35 PM

me and coco puffs....we go wayy back
lol no im single...and i like it that wayy

rebgirl420

08-20-2007, 04:40 PM

Hmmm im enaged to John. He's sleeping beside me right now and snoring obnoxiously loud. He came home from work at 8am. He needs to get up at 3:30 b/c at 4:30 he has to do the NFL fantasy football draft with his friends.

I love him so much. He's off tonight so we'll probably eat and watch some t.v. and then hopefully have some....well sex : ) . We have sex just about every day, we have since we started dating. And it is fantastic. He knows exactly how to turn me on and vice versa. And then after that we'll probably either have sex again or watch some t.v.. And then tommorow he takes me to the doctors for my checkup and so I can get my shot.

I wouldnt trade him for the world.

420MissHighTimes420

08-27-2007, 03:21 PM

im single now, sort of
everyones in college except me
:sadcrying

420MissHighTimes420

08-27-2007, 03:24 PM

IM single.. and i feel very lonly at night when i ly in bed alone..

me too its only been two nights, the one night i dont rememer getting back to my bed bc i was so drunk bc i was so sad, and last nite even though i was unbeliveably tired all i could do was cry because i was alone, i need somenoe to sleep next to me, espcially wen im living alone for the first time
now im crying again great
i cnt stop im so depressed

stinkyattic

08-27-2007, 03:40 PM

One word describes mine.

OVER. Fucking cheater.

higher4hockey

08-27-2007, 03:46 PM

i met a girl in february where i used to go to school....i was there for four days and i met her the first night i was there, i spent the entire weekend with her and it was one of the best times i have ever spent with a girl. we talked over IM and we talked on the phone every day for hours at a time for months and months. then i told her that i was going to move to pittsburgh instead of erie like i had originally planned. she had met some guy from work and was starting to talk to him and that was pretty much the end of us talking. we didnt talk for two months then i went back and i sent her a text telling her to come to the bar and i'd buy her a beer, well she was in florida at the time , but long story short that got the ball rolling again...we're back to our old routine of talking/texting all day long.

i like this girl a lot and she likes me a lot. i hope with all my hear that it works out between us. she's made me realize things about relationships that i had never realized before. she's perfect for me. (she even likes that im a big ol hick)

Chronisseur

08-27-2007, 04:10 PM

One word describes mine.

OVER. Fucking cheater.

NO WAY! Stinky that sucks, I'm sorry!
On the brighter side, atleast you figured out how scummy he was before you got too attached. Thank GOD for guys like ME:D
....Oh, am I moving in too quickly?;)

stinkyattic

08-27-2007, 04:21 PM

Yeah. Short and to the point. We met. We hung out. We laughed alot. We had great sex. He cheated. He showed deep loyalty later in another way. I forgave him but I decided to move on.
You're cuter than a snump Chron. :D

420MissHighTimes420

08-27-2007, 05:00 PM

One word describes mine.

OVER. Fucking cheater.

good for u ending it girl, some people would stick around for that bullshit thankfully your not! have fun finfing a new guy :thumbsup::pimp::pimp:

stinkyattic

08-27-2007, 05:02 PM

Ugh at my age, finding a new guy is not my idea of 'fun'...
The best part is that I found out about it on my way home from a family member's funeral... yeaaaaah... it's been a week.

Chronisseur

08-27-2007, 05:26 PM

There is a positive to every negative;)
I see it like this, "weeding out" the negative elements in ones life is like a manual way of producing a positve environment. As human beings, our emotional intelligence, is the toughest to master, as it seems to interact inconsistently, in the brain.
Which brings me to my next thread::D "8 types of intelligence?" (checkitoutnow,funksoulbrother....:stoned:)

PS: Why cant it be fun for you to find a guy? The fun should be in the excitement that you're one step closer to finding the right guy for you, and having the pure freedom to be alone or with him, or him or even the other guy! I'm not saying be a whore, but being a beautiful person should make it easy to find men who would gladly take you to a restaraunt you've never been, or some other "fun" kinda date. I do give you props aswell for your attitude ie. forgiveness. Its never easy to look BACK with regret or grudge.
KEEP takin' care:D

stinkyattic

08-27-2007, 05:30 PM

I see it like this, "weeding out" the negative elements in ones life is like a manual way of producing a positve environment
I like this, it's like breeding out undesirable traits in a plant.

As human beings, our emotional intelligence, is the toughest to master, as it seems to interact inconsistently, in the brain.Does it ever. Logically, it's a no brainer. Emotionally, it's a really hard decision!

Lol @ a restaurant I've never been to... I spend about 90% of my disposable income on my restaurant habit- total foodie- it's a serious problem!!!

I don't know, it just doesn't seem like fun to me because I'm so used to expecting a disastrous ending to a new relationship as soon as it begins!

Chronisseur

08-27-2007, 05:47 PM

I like this, it's like breeding out undesirable traits in a plant.

NO!...Stinky, keep it simple. YOU ARE THE PLANT!:D
But again, that reinforces my idea, well not MY idea but THE idea of it being so much easier, even with the seeming emotional attachment you have to the plant, to LOGICALLY do whatever is neccesary to create the BEST possible environment for her.

If that didnt make sense, sorry! Here: (ifIwereaplant) I'd rather grow alone, than get "BURNED" by Miracle Grow. If Fox(xy) Farm was introduced, I would be happy and well nourished;);)

...I entertain myself:D

stinkyattic

08-27-2007, 06:06 PM

If Fox(xy) Farm was introduced, I would be happy and well nourished;);)
...I entertain myself:D

You entertain me as well Chron.

Non

08-27-2007, 06:44 PM

my current relationship is with...

420MissHighTimes420

08-27-2007, 10:11 PM

hey im only 18 and its no fun!!! i fucking hate it
i need somone new NOW! lol

IThinkIamFeelingit

08-27-2007, 10:31 PM

I have a few irons in the fire..but I am moving slower than mollases...cause that is how I like to do it.

Non

08-27-2007, 10:36 PM

ive never had a 'relationship'

but then again I have. jst some other kind of relationships.

Chronisseur

08-28-2007, 04:33 PM

You entertain me as well Chron.

...Like a Jester;)

IThinkIamFeelingit

08-28-2007, 04:49 PM

took a new girl to the drive in last night...it was cool...but she really is not my type

maryjanehaze

08-28-2007, 07:33 PM

i'm 17 and a senior, so im pretty much goin nuts right now. throughout the mess of random activities meet-ups I've found a girl who is so much like me. keep in mind this isn't really a relationship, but just a girl and I who have gotten close. we go to different schools of our county, but we go to all eachothers school parties together so its great now. the first time we really connected was at a field party when it started pouring outside. we escaped into my suv, and folded in the middle seat to sleep, but we ended up not sleeping much at all haha. as a guy im not tryin to sound homo, but it was incredibly romantic, easilly the best night of my life. we're both blondes and she thinks is cute.

just thought i'd give my situation guys! hope all urs are goin great.

GraziLovesMary

08-28-2007, 07:42 PM

Good one Grazi.
Would you consider your love affair with Mary more of a platonic, romantic, or agape nature?

I love my sweet wife with an all-encompassing love, as I feel she nurtures me in all facets. There is no one form of love stronger than the other with her.. it all intermingles and competes, but none ever win out.

GraziLovesMary

08-28-2007, 07:45 PM

GraziLovesMary

08-28-2007, 07:50 PM

IM single.. and i feel very lonly at night when i ly in bed alone..

That is the only way of sleeping that I know.. maybe thats why I dont sleep.... and why I sleep with weapons all around me. And why I will wake in an instant with them ready to go. My sweet Mary knows how to put me to sleep though... at times. I usually try to stay away and enjoy her as much as possible because when she puts me out, she puts me OUT lol.

420MissHighTimes420

08-28-2007, 07:51 PM

^^sleeping on the floor doesnt help eithr ;) LOL

GraziLovesMary

08-28-2007, 08:23 PM

^^sleeping on the floor doesnt help eithr ;) LOL

haha who knows? If Im sleepin by myself Im not really sleepin anyways lol... I dont even know if one medium is better than another. Now if Im sharin the bed with somebody... thats a different story.

GotBeat5.0

08-28-2007, 08:28 PM

Well I been with my woman now for a solid year as of this friday. We've had some great and bad times. She also helps me grow which is a plus. I dunno its been cool still havent decided yet if she is the one.

I also have two ex's who stay in contact like waiting for this relationship to screw up cause in some weird twisted way their still obsessed over me which I dunno why in all seriousness but hey guess we'll see what happens

420MissHighTimes420

08-28-2007, 08:37 PM

congratz on yuor one year!

someuser

08-29-2007, 06:17 AM

I've been with my girl for a little over 3 months now. We hit it off pretty much instantly and, although we've only been together for a few months, we have had a LOT of good times.

IThinkIamFeelingit

08-29-2007, 07:02 AM

I wanna be in love...but at the same time I wanna have fun and not be in a monogamous relationship...I figure when that special girl comes into my life it will happen and I will know it...then we will just take life as it comes to us...I just wanna girl that is into having fun, going places, spontaneous but at the same time responsible...loves life and the creatures upon this earth..some other stuff that I cant think of...cause I just drank some whiskey...yuk..smoked a few bowls of some mids that has no name...and my mind is a scramble right now...maybe it will be better in the next post...then I think to myself maybe this girl is in my life and I do not know it...that would definitely be interesting.

BabyFacedAbortion

08-29-2007, 07:54 AM

I just want to be alone and with friends.

Does that make sense?

Single, and lovin' it.

MadSativa

08-29-2007, 08:05 AM

good for u girl. Now dont break too many harts.

Delta.9

08-29-2007, 11:02 PM

Well, mine just officially ended moments ago...

Cyclonite

08-30-2007, 12:08 AM

Stinky weren't you dating the yeag....Iv been gone for a minute.

texas grass

08-30-2007, 12:23 AM

i just got married at the end of march
we are happy especially since our house will be done next week

Iguana

08-30-2007, 01:07 AM

Been married 22 years this year. Looking forward to at least as many more.

Dave Byrd

08-30-2007, 05:17 AM

I'm married and have been for 23 years, almost 24. It's a good and loving relationship, and it's gotten better and easier over the years. . . . . I haven't been as attentive a wife as I wish I had been in recent weeks, and I feel guilty about that. This has been a strange summer for me. Dave, if you read this, I love you very much. Thank you for putting up with me!
In three weeks, we'll have been married for 24 years, and I'm looking forward to 30 or 40 more. I can't imagine my life without you, baby. I love you more than you know. Thank you for putting up with me.

stinkyattic

08-30-2007, 04:24 PM

I love the Birds (Byrds?)... you guys are great. Happy anniversary!

Chronisseur

08-30-2007, 04:32 PM

In three weeks, we'll have been married for 24 years, and I'm looking forward to 30 or 40 more. I can't imagine my life without you, baby. I love you more than you know. Thank you for putting up with me.

Feelin' the love:D

Congratulations on a beautiful relationship!:thumbsup:

Hey Stink! How'd you sneak that post in FRONT of me?

stinkyattic

08-30-2007, 04:55 PM

Super powers....

Chronisseur

08-30-2007, 05:00 PM

Are YOU stalkin' ME? Or am I stalkin' YOU?:wtf:

...lol Chk.ya'mail:D

Chronisseur

08-30-2007, 05:38 PM

Well, mine just officially ended moments ago...

What happened?:(

Delta.9

08-30-2007, 05:46 PM

What happened?:(

It's a long story, but I ended it because it had been 2 years and we weren't meshing. I don't want to be in a serious, committed relationship with someone if we're not working out. :(

I wrote out whole long post in another one of my forums, and would be glad to post it up here, but I don't want to steal the spotlight away from this thread.

Really bummed though because I love the chick, she loves me, we both know this, but we just aren't compatible. :rolleyes:

Chronisseur

08-31-2007, 03:17 PM

This thread is FOR you to "POST ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS":thumbsup:

Go ahead and post it! Maybe someone could give you a helpful view of things.

Delta.9

08-31-2007, 04:00 PM

Well...if you insist.

I'm usually the one giving advice on relationships, but obviously I wasn't taking my own advice. If I had been, I would've ended things a lot sooner with her. After 2 years of on and off "relations" I finally threw in the towel on Tuesday. I still love her, but I had to end things because I was not accepting the fact that we just weren't compatible...we were toxic together. The thing that sucks so bad about this is that we both love one another, without a doubt. It's just that we are not compatible. It's like two positively charged magnets who want to be together, but can't.

I'm really bummed about this and just wanted to get it off my chest. I knew this day would come, but was delaying the inevitable. Now that it's here, I have to deal with it and I'm not too happy about it. I could always reach out to her and try to work things out, but I know deep down that it never will. It's hard to keep myself from reaching out to her. I know it's only been a few days, but numerous times I've had to stop myself from calling, emailing, texting...

We are compatible in many ways, which is why we were able to get so far into a relationship. But, (and this is my opinion alone, doesn't make it true or right) there are 2 main things that I feel compatability comes into play with. The first one is that persons interests, hobbies, likes dislikes etc. The second is her personality, how she handles situations, is she realistic or emotional, is she open or closed to accepting other perspectives. With my ex, we were highly compatible in the first sense. But when it came to the second we never could see eye to eye. She is VERY emotional and reacts off of her emotions. I am an emotional person too, but I don't react off of them (with few exceptions) and like to analyze things from a realistic and logic perspective. Therefor, when we would argue, our perspectives were completely different. Not that that in itself is a bad thing, but what made it impossible to deal with was her stubbornness. She would dig her feet in and would absolutely be unwilling to see anything other than her own perspective. I tried on many different occassions to talk her through this, very carefully, without any hostility or nastiness and it would always end up turning into an argument rather than a discussion.

The only thing that really bugs me now is that if she really cared about me as much as I know she "could" then she would take down the wall she has build from all of the trials and tribulations from her childhood and past. She had a fawked up childhood and as much as I empathize with her on that, there comes a time when you have to grow up from that stuff and stop letting it affect yourself as a person. She won't even admit she has issues, which is a BIG red flag to me. God damn stubborness!!!!!

I tried to work with her on the things she doesn't like about me and my dislikes with her. But when it came to sink or swim...well look where I'm at now. I did what she needed, she couldn't give me what I needed...stability and openness. Now it's just a matter of accepting the way things are which is really hard to do. I'm not looking forward to this...

Thanks for listening to my ramblings

Chronisseur

08-31-2007, 04:14 PM

Well, be thankful for the knowledge you've displayed in your post. Being able to see those fine lines and then deal with them accordingly, shows you how you DIRECTLY control your life. It is a gift, many are not blessed with to differentiate emotion from logic. Stay strong, and I'm sure you'll find a woman to "justify" this down the road!

(good post, well worded~!)

stinkyattic

08-31-2007, 04:20 PM

Aww hey Delta9, you gave it the best you could it sounds like- and you have learned a lot about yourself, relationships, your needs too I'll bet.
Chin up.

Delta.9

08-31-2007, 04:29 PM

Thanks Chronisseur and stinkyattic. I am glad to "see the light" but I'm really sad and miss her a lot. She was my best friend and we did everything together. It's not the end of the world and I'll be ok, I just hate dealing with the aftermath of relationships. 99% of them come to an end at some point and there is always the pain and loneliness to deal with. I almost feel like the saying "it is better to have love and lost, than to have not loved at all" is untrue. :(

Chronisseur

08-31-2007, 04:39 PM

I understand COMPLETELY!
I hate to sound arrogant but being me and single hasnt been easy in the past but before my last relationship of 4-5 hellish months, I had decided to be alone for the rest of my life. I went from 21-24 entirely alone, learning about myself and feeling better off than having to worry about the end of another relationship. At this point, still, it would take an AMAZING person to make the potential heart-ache, worth it!

Delta.9

08-31-2007, 04:47 PM

Ugh! I swear Chron, things just aren't the same as they used to be when our parents were growing up. Back then, there weren't so many distractions and opportunities to keep people from giving 100% of themselves to someone else. I have an old soul, yet I'm only 25 so it's hard for me to put up with this crap. And to be honest, I really don't. This girl was an exception up until recently. I guess my point is that it was easier to devote ourselves to our partner because relationships, honor, respect, dignity all of that stuff was held in higher regard. Nowadays it's "what are you gonna do for me?", "how can I benefit from you?", "I think I'll cheat on him for this guy because...", etc etc. I think you get the point.

Chronisseur

08-31-2007, 04:52 PM

Thats awesome! I havent heard someone use the words "old soul" since my Grandmother who died 2.5 yrs ago, called me an "old soul", about TEN years ago! Im 24.

...Everyones all about convenience and greed!

Delta.9

08-31-2007, 04:59 PM

Haha, good stuff. Seems like we think very similarly. Sometimes I over analyze things, but it often helps me spot red flags and keeps me out of trouble. There are definitely exceptions to the rule, but people generally suck. :(

Sorry to hear about your Grandma.

BTW, it's nice to meet a fellow young "old" person! :D

Reefer Rogue

08-31-2007, 05:31 PM

It's time to break up with my girlfriend, i can't be bothered to explain, she's so distant... Why do i always fall for girls i have nothing in common =/ even though i'm with her i don't feel that i am WITH her. It's been 4 going on 5 months and i can't kid myself anymore, i need to be happy again, i want someone who really cares about me. We have no future together, i'm feeling all that time spent together was pointless. All i wanted was to fall in love with her but she just won't let me close to her and she's finally pushed me away now. I've never met anyone like this girl, she can't even look me in the eyes when hanging out, it fucking hurts and i'm done with it. I want to break up with her face to face but i'm probably gonna call her tonight and just be honest with her that i'm not happy anymore and that i just wanna be friends. She prob won't even care about the breakup, i'm pretty sure she'll take it well.

Reefer Rogue

09-01-2007, 07:04 PM

I called her yesterday and she didn't pick up so i turned my phone off and went to sleep to think about it. She txtd me in the morning, and then i txtd her and told her i felt she was being too distant and how i don't want our realtionship to be pointless. She txtd back saying she didn't know she was being distant and she's gonna work on it and she doesn't think the relationship is pointless. That was the closest i've ever come to breaking up with her. I hope we can work it out, really i do, i wanna love her so bad. Sleep does wonders.

LIP

09-01-2007, 07:11 PM

I wanted to post in this thread, but thinking about it further, i dont think i will. It'll only get me down again, and i've been feeling good recently so i dont want to ruin it.

Delta.9

09-02-2007, 06:38 PM

beachguy in thongs

09-02-2007, 07:02 PM

Okay, to answer that question, because my heart's big enough and I will never be lonely. Me, too? Me, too.

IThinkIamFeelingit

09-02-2007, 07:20 PM

I want to pose this question to get some honest answers. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone else knowing that 99% of them will end someday anyway, leaving you in heartache and loneliness?

I'm not trying to be negative or anything, I'm curious to see why you guys do it.

You must realize that people and places change throughout your life..live in the NOW, be in the moment and forget about the future that you have no control over...and dont let the past control your thoughts and actions of today...

higher4hockey

09-02-2007, 07:24 PM

I want to pose this question to get some honest answers. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone else knowing that 99% of them will end someday anyway, leaving you in heartache and loneliness?

I'm not trying to be negative or anything, I'm curious to see why you guys do it.\

because its worth it. when i go buy a box of shells i know that i'll run out and have to get more, or when i buy a new vehicle i know eventually it'll take a big shit. but i still buy shells annd buy vehicles and even if a relationship ends, it doesnt mean it wasnt a fun ride.

MaryLane

09-06-2007, 10:31 PM

I just had my one year wedding anniversary in August. :D

Chronisseur

09-06-2007, 10:49 PM

I want to pose this question to get some honest answers. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone else knowing that 99% of them will end someday anyway, leaving you in heartache and loneliness?

I'm not trying to be negative or anything, I'm curious to see why you guys do it.

If I told you that when you turn 45, you had to spend the rest of your life in prison, would you say fuck it and just go now?

BlAzInIt4:20

09-07-2007, 06:00 AM

im lonly.. and miss having someone to hold and kiss and cuddle..

I hope i find her soon or vise versa.

But i think i am going to hold off on the account that i am most likly going to move.

IThinkIamFeelingit

09-07-2007, 02:50 PM

Relationships SUCK!! Why do I even try? I just want a cool chick...why do women have to trip so much? That is it. Have a nice day.

stinkyattic

09-07-2007, 03:24 PM

Feelin'it, women are, like, TOTALLY scared of your muscles, and they know that the side effect of r'oids is tinydick-itis. So That's why dem biznatches be trippin'.

IThinkIamFeelingit

09-07-2007, 03:29 PM

Hey, I am 3 inches hard..that might be small I know...but I am thick. LOL

stinkyattic

09-07-2007, 03:32 PM

You will just have to date midgets then.

imitator

09-07-2007, 03:51 PM

Little late into this thread, but I guess I will post my share.

I am currently dating a girl that I have been with for just over 3 yrs, who I am getting ready to break up with. Love the girl to death, but over those 3 yrs we have both changed alot, and we dont share anything in common. One day I just sat down, and thought to myself, I dont think I would ever hang out with this girl, and we wouldnt be friends at all if we werent dating. And I want who I am dating to be my best friend, someone who I can share some of the things I enjoy with, and thats just not the case.

She doesnt like me smoking, she isnt a big fan of me being a gamer, she doesnt like my outlook on life, and I despise hers... just a bunch of problems that I have been overlooking because I thought loving her meant it was ok to overlook, but I kinda realized one day that you can love someone, but not be IN love with someone anymore. And thats what I feel like here.

The fun part is figuring out how to go about breaking it off with her. I dont want to hurt her if possible, which I know it isnt, but still, you care for someone long enough, and you still want things to be as nice as possible for them, no matter what the situation may be.

IThinkIamFeelingit

09-07-2007, 04:11 PM

Nice story..
Yeah, it does sound like your relationship is toward the end...
Life is too short to spend it with someone that you are not a match with...it is torture to both parties..it is just that women get more attached than men do...mostly if the relationship is a total mess...and have a harder time letting go..

Good luck

twoguysupnorth

09-09-2007, 04:10 AM

yuk, its all good.

angry nomad

09-09-2007, 04:30 AM

My wife and I have been together for almost two years. We are very open about everything. She is a very down-to-earth cool person. She is also my best friend. She pretty much doesn't care what I do, as long as I love her, and am a good person.

Just to give you guys hope that are going through shit, so have I. I didn't meet the woman of my dreams until I was 30. Not saying anyone has to or should wait that long. But, I just wasn't ready. I needed to mature and be my own man before I got married, so I knew I could have a healthy relationship.

blackbarbie

09-10-2007, 04:03 AM

i'm not in a relationship.:( i like this guy right now, but i know he's a player. so pretty much all we have is a light flirtation and i don't want anything more from him. what i want is a cool nice guy that i can be best friends with and a boyfriend at the same time, but the dating pool sucks soo whatever. i'm just gonna focus on ME right now and i'm not really studying any guys

twoguysupnorth

09-11-2007, 12:17 AM

delta-9 you cant or shouldnt be scared of the 1% you are talking about, or the 99% either. not everything works out but if it does, hey great. what about the 50-60-70% of the time that it was good, or bad for that matter? its all a growing and learning expierience.

IanCurtisWishlist

09-11-2007, 09:02 PM

After knowing my friend for 5 years and talking with her on and off about such topics as sex, she finally got her ass on an airplane and came to see me in Oregon. I went to high school with her in California and I've had the hots for her for so long. When she came up we really clicked, we really bonded together. Then we had crazy passionate sex for 8 days when she was here (passionate for me at least haha). Now I'm moving back to california to be with her because she is the best woman I've ever met, she's not the fuck-them-and-forget-them type (not a HO!) and I feel we've got a very solid foundation for a good relationship. Now is the time to move on this. It should work out, I'm optimistic just because I know her so well, inside and out (literately ).

:)

Doodlebug5

09-16-2007, 03:35 PM

Nothing goin' on in that department. I have huge wounds being heeled as I speak. Not a good time to find a new relationship, not until I become strong once again.

I dedicated my heart to someone for 15 years, it has been hard. But I really wanted to make it work. Making sure our kids were taken care of and provided for is a huge stance in my life, but I got accused of not being spauntanious. I am...but there are responsibilities that have to be taken care of first.

This person that I loved for so long has moved out and moved on with his life. Dating like crazy and it seams his biggest goal is to "find someone". He has all the free time to party and search out that special someone. I on the other had keep my life packed with taking care of our kids and doing my best to keep them stable and have a nice life. I love them and it is not a problem. I find myself not having time for myself. So on the quiet days, I feel extremely lonely. I miss my ex alot sometimes, because he was still my best friend and I always want to pick up the phone to see how he is doing, but I also want to be a complete void for him too. I know he doesn't think of me as his best friend anymore and it hurts really bad.

HighTillIDie

09-16-2007, 03:50 PM