blonde

[smokette]

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

[dog420]

Three blondes are out walking and they find some trackson the ground, 1st one says "oh they rabbit tracks" the 2nd says "NO they deer tracks" the 3rd says "no silly they bear tracks!" they were still arguing 10 mins later when the train hit them.

[hunny]

since i am in a good mood,,ill let these ' blonde jokes ' pass
cant yas do brunette or redheads or sumthin
WE AINT ALL THICK !! :P
ty



:D

[ermitonto]

How many blondes does it take to change a tire?

Thirty-seven. Thirty-six to lift the car off the ground and one to pin the diaper on the tire. :D

[sativaindica]

Why do blondes have triangle coffins?




because as soon as they lie down, their legs spread.

[smokette]

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table.
A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless."

With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!"

She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES!

I WIN! I WIN!"

With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.

Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"

The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"

[malvcalv]

How can u tell if a blonde has been using yr computer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
There's Tippex on the screen!!!!!!!!!! :eek:

[JahTrod]

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

[Shelbay]

Why do blondes have triangle coffins?




because as soon as they lie down, their legs spread.
In your dreams. Not funny.

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

i was born blond, so that should clear a lot of things up around here :D

[endo..jay]

Why is a blonde like a stamp?


Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way.:p

[hubblebubble]

rather than sterotyping blondes how about you members on this site 99% of you arnt to smart either

[Stoner Shadow Wolf]

shut up, this is just about having fun, dont take it so personally, sheesh.


blonds are just more commonly noticed, and thus, they are most noticed for their fuckups.


everyone else is jsut that, everyone else, no one cares about brunets, just blonds.

[mrdevious]

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

[Zinnia]

I'm a red-blonde so I'm going to let these go with good humor.

A blonde is at work and has to go to the ladie's room. She comes back with a tampon behind her ear. When a co-worker asks about the tampon, the blonde says, "Oh, no! Where did I put my pencil?"

[Swizzy89304]

Two blondes walk into a building.

You'd think at least one of them wouldve seen it.

[Nochowderforyou]

I like blondes. No matter how dumb they are! :D

[beachguy in thongs]

since i am in a good mood,,ill let these ' blonde jokes ' pass
cant yas do brunette or redheads or sumthin
WE AINT ALL THICK !! :P
ty



:D
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina, doing only the breaststroke.
The only three women who entered the race were a Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.

After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up on the shore. She was declared the fastest breaststroker.

About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled up and was declared the second place finisher.

Nearly 4 hours after that, the Brunette finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.

When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but, I think those two other girls were using their arms.

[Shelbay]

:clap: :clap:
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina, doing only the breaststroke.
The only three women who entered the race were a Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.

After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up on the shore. She was declared the fastest breaststroker.

About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled up and was declared the second place finisher.

Nearly 4 hours after that, the Brunette finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.

When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but, I think those two other girls were using their arms.

[king kong bong]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK.

She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

[STDzRus]

A guy is building a building. He has one extra brick so he throws it up in the air.



NOW! I have another joke for you.
THESE are TWO totally seperate jokes.

A blonde is getting ready to jump out of a plane, she stops when she sees a brick.

[king kong bong]

A young blonde girl came back from school one evening. She ran to her mom and said, "Mommy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! That's good innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde?"

"Yes darling, it's because you're blonde."

Next day, the girl came back from school and said, "Mommy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! That's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"Yes darling it's because you're blonde."

Next day, she returned from school and cried, "Mommy, today we went swimming, and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"

She flashed her impressive 36-D's at her mom.

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No darling, it's because you're 25."

[STDzRus]

A young blonde girl came back from school one evening. She ran to her mom and said, "Mommy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! That's good innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde?"

"Yes darling, it's because you're blonde."

Next day, the girl came back from school and said, "Mommy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! That's good, innit?"

"Yes darling, very good."

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"Yes darling it's because you're blonde."

Next day, she returned from school and cried, "Mommy, today we went swimming, and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"

She flashed her impressive 36-D's at her mom.

"Is that because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No darling, it's because you're 25."
HAHA!

[king kong bong]

A blonde finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray, "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.

She again prays, "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays, "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and the blonde is confronted by the voice of God Himself, "Sweetheart, work with Me on this, buy a ticket."

[king kong bong]

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "You have a broken finger."

[STDzRus]

LMFAO!

[king kong bong]

A blind man walks into a bar and after a couple of drinks yells out, "Who wants to hear a blonde joke?"

The place goes dead silent. After a few minutes a husky female voice on his left says, "Before you tell that joke you might want to know that the bartender is a blonde. The bouncer's a blonde. I'm a six-foot, two-inch blonde with a black belt in karate. The woman on your right is blonde and she's a professional weight lifter, and the woman next to her is a blonde professional wrestler. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a moment and says, "Naw! Not if I have to explain it five times."

[STDzRus]

*side splits open*

[king kong bong]

In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.

Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.

The blonde spins around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

[king kong bong]

Three blondes are sitting in a bar chanting, "51 days." After a while the bartender says to them, "Ladies, for the past three hours you've been sitting here chanting '51 days'. Why?"

"Well," says one of the blondes, "we just finished a puzzle."

"So. What does that have to do with anything?" the bartender asked.

"Well the box says 3 to 5 years. We finished it in just 51 days!"

[king kong bong]

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:

I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, the Blonde.

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note:

Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!

[king kong bong]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?"

"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the dumb blonde joke e-mails we've been receiving."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

[Shelbay]

When God created man he decided he could do better and created eve.:smokin:

[esrabalamir]

lol

[hunny]

top Ten of things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day

10.. get ahead faster in the workplace

9... learn to stare with that "im undressing you" look

8... find out whats so fasinating about 'beating the meat'

7... pee standing up while talkin to other men at the urinal

6... determine WHY you cant hit the bowl of the toilet consistantly

5... find out what its like to be at the other end of a surging orgasm

4... touch/feel yourself in public without a thought as to improper it may
seem

3... jump up and down whilst naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny
as it looks

2... understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs
between a mans eye and the ruler situated next to the penis that
causes an extra 2 inches to be added to the final measurement

and the Number 1 thing is................................................ .................................................. .

1... get a blow job


blonde joke
-------------

a man was in his front garden mowin his lawn when he saw this attractive blonde female comin out of the house next door go to the mailbox slam it shut an walk bak in the house slammin the door...the man counts the woman doin this 3 times an when he got to edgin his lawn she appeared again ,,as she walks down the path he shouts to her "is there sumthin wrong"? to which she replies " yes there certainly is" my stupid computer says iv got mail
:cool:

[BabyFacedAbortion]

So there's this blonde eating tuna one day, she looks at the can and it says "Chicken of the sea"; she turns to her handsom boyfriend and asks "So is it chicken or fish?"

...OH WAIT!!!!...


o.o

Brunette, represent

[hunny]

it aint about a blonde but i thought it was funny so here ya go lol


There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with a room full of other patients. Here's the way one old guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today ?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not ? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with, the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes ?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir ?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

[pabloescobar209]

So there's this blonde eating tuna one day, she looks at the can and it says "Chicken of the sea"; she turns to her handsom boyfriend and asks "So is it chicken or fish?"

...OH WAIT!!!!...


o.o

Brunette, representJessica Simpson said that, i remember seeing it and the look on Nicks face... expressionless followed by the thought of " why did i marry her? oh yeah the body... i feel better now"