How would you assassinate Hitler? [Archive] - Green Grass Forums

cannabis campbell

07-30-2007, 05:16 AM

Interesting thread, well if i went back in time and i had a mission to kill hitler to prevent the holocaust etc I would most likely use a sniper, Thats how i see myself, if i had to kill him I would do it from long distance with a sniper rifle make sure i get him in the head.

Edit: Time travel in a phonebox eh? you sure you haven't been watching Bill and Ted? Lol.

slipknotpsycho

07-30-2007, 05:17 AM

honestly... i mean realisiticly????

c'mon... he was a fucking leader of a country.... and he was paraniod (for obvious reason, he barely left his 'home')... you're gonn ahave to have alot of range to get him...

how would i like to do it? well..... i'd like to take back one of those plastic ties cops sometime use as handcuffs and tie it around his neck and just leave him...

Oneironaut

07-30-2007, 05:17 AM

and before you read this, no i have nothing against jews....

no. i do not think he deserves it. i also think the path history took is a fine path. history would suck if randomly in the textbook it goes..."and then out of fucking nowhere a soldier from the future warped into hitlers bedroom and sliced his dick up and poured salt in the wounds then strangled him with the tendons from his leg"

How do you mean? That would be the awesomest history class ever.

WEsmokeED

07-30-2007, 05:30 AM

This thread is crazy. :stoned:

Really though Hitler did alot of great things for Germany before he destroyed it all. He created the autobahn and in a gruesome way the experiements Hitler's scientist did in the concentration camps were very beneficial to the development of modern medicince.

Still, 12 million people? Definetly not worth it.

I'd make him fuck a dead dog. Then Id just shoot him in the head.

WEsmokeED

07-30-2007, 05:36 AM

Yea he is right ^

World War II basically saved the American Economy, without Hitler that would of never happened

defintion10

07-30-2007, 05:37 AM

Actually, if you think about it any slight alteration in history can end your existence.

slipknotpsycho

07-30-2007, 05:39 AM

but you see. altering the tiniest thing in the past can ruin everything in the future. killing hitler, not only would textbooks be changed. but there would be many more families. which would each have had around 20 descendants by now. increasing the population by a couple more million. more shortages in food. all articles involving how hitler died would be changed. nothing would be the same. its a chain reaction you cant just go change things and expect good to come from it except the fact you get to say "i shot hitlers dick after i made him give a horse a BJ lulz!"

this is true.... to fuck with time could potientially throw us into an even worse current state.... shit we could all be slaves speaking japanese for all you know...

i don't think he's messed up for not wanting to spare those people... to spare those people (technically since you're tlaking of changing past events) could kill billions of others....

fucking with past events is a copmlicated subject if you want to get serious... just to give you an idea.... (none of this is based on fact, it's purely for point) if george washington had tried to get out of bed one day and slipped on mud and went into a coma, there may very well of never been the declreation of indepenence, and with that, america could of been a worse country then say vietnam or china....

it's called the ripple effect... everything that happened in the past (not just major events, even a paper cut) affected everything as it is today, in one way or another... changing any of it, regaurdless how seemingly small.. or compassionate of an act it may be... could change everything we know AS A WORLD, not just country or state...

ChiefSmokesAlot

07-30-2007, 05:49 AM

this is true.... to fuck with time could potientially throw us into an even worse current state.... shit we could all be slaves speaking japanese for all you know...

i don't think he's messed up for not wanting to spare those people... to spare those people (technically since you're tlaking of changing past events) could kill billions of others....

fucking with past events is a copmlicated subject if you want to get serious... just to give you an idea.... (none of this is based on fact, it's purely for point) if george washington had tried to get out of bed one day and slipped on mud and went into a coma, there may very well of never been the declreation of indepenence, and with that, america could of been a worse country then say vietnam or china....

it's called the ripple effect... everything that happened in the past (not just major events, even a paper cut) affected everything as it is today, in one way or another... changing any of it, regaurdless how seemingly small.. or compassionate of an act it may be... could change everything we know AS A WORLD, not just country or state...

HAHA :rastasmoke:

Good point though.

slipknotpsycho

07-30-2007, 05:54 AM

HAHA :rastasmoke:

Good point though.

well iwas gonna say banana peel.. but then i realized this was the 1700's and that probably wasn't a very common occurance :p

krazy chino

07-30-2007, 07:27 AM

i'll put him in a concentration camp and bring a digital camera and record him suffering from famine and thirst and have him stand in the freezin snow naked and do experiments on him like stick a thin long hook up his nose and pull out his brains while he still awake...........then post it on youtube

REEFERDREAMZ

07-30-2007, 08:04 AM

I would put some sort of cannibal flesh eating bugs in every orphus of his body, tie him, starve him..and watch him die, from the insideout.:wtf:

Quinn The Eskimo

07-30-2007, 08:12 AM

I'd bring pliers, ropes, needles, a spoon, and a rusty butter knife. (Lol) I'd prolly tear out his teeth with pliers, dig out his eyeballs with the spoon, pop his testes with a needle (ow), jam the spoon down his throat to finish him off, and the butter knife to cut off that gay fucking little stach of his.

DataReaper

07-30-2007, 08:12 AM

Id beat him to death with a jew.

.... am I allowed to say that?

DataReaper

07-30-2007, 09:27 AM

yes, thats true, it was in complete poor taste. but the point is that he was a tyrant that is not only known for his obscene abuse of jewish people but that has been dead for a long time. 'how would you assassinate hitler' is almost a rhetorical question; like asking how Id kill stallin or the romans or satan. my comment, while in poor taste, was not meant to offend but as a statement of irony. well, not pure irony, that would be if you killed him the way he killed. personally, I dont like to think up ways to kill anyone and therefore couldnt come up with anything better than a bullshit way.

also, oddly enough, I was raised with the Jewish faith and take pride in the fact that Im not still scared by a man that killed thousands of my people. :)

BUZz UK

07-30-2007, 10:19 AM

Gas him, ha...

Breukelen advocaat

07-30-2007, 02:51 PM

He ordered that the people who conspired to kill him be "hung like cattle". Those that were convicted were strangulated slowly, in a slaughterhouse, by being hung by the neck on a rope suspended from a meathook. Others were hung with piano wire. One of these methods would have been a fitting end to his life.

Nation_1ne

07-30-2007, 03:02 PM

I'd shoot him and make it look like suicide.......

pixel

07-30-2007, 03:51 PM

i would jointhe army, and when i graduated from bootcamp with my rifle, and i walked by saluting hitler (hopefully closeby in some sort of field like you see in old ass movies and military movies like Major Payne with damon wayons lol

but anyways when he walked by i would simply pop him in the head and then turn and shoot as many ppl as i could before i died

i died but hey so did hitler... i mean if youre gonna be realistic (which my above plan is not) then its gonna be a suicide mission :D

Nation_1ne

07-30-2007, 04:04 PM

WELL, I AM LIKE 60% GERman, I'D Be ON HIS Side.

Just because someone's German doesn't mean they adopt Nazi beliefs. My nans mother was German and her farther was Jewish. My nan then went on to marry and english man. All during and partly after the 2nd world war.

onequestion

07-30-2007, 04:57 PM

go to the 1:40 mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55fPwgNVHuU

onequestion

07-30-2007, 04:59 PM

Nation_1ne

07-30-2007, 05:01 PM

I dont think you should smoke anymore. You always say stupid shit.

Lmao, as harsh as it may seem I was thinking something similar.

stinkyattic

07-30-2007, 05:42 PM

I should think if you are German, you would dislike him even MORE. Hontzymonster, it disgusts me to think you would say something like that.

If it were possible to kill someone with shame, I would bring him into the future and show him the shame that he worked upon the country that he said he loved.
I'd show him the divided Germany, and the poverty in East Germany, and the Berlin Wall.
I'd show him that he has gone down in history not as a leader or a brilliant conqueror, but as a criminally psychotic tryant with a Napoleon complex and an autoerotic problem.

I would then show him into a small room with no furniture but a single chair and a rope hanging from the ceiling.

Reefer Rogue

07-30-2007, 05:42 PM

Drive by, west side.

Breukelen advocaat

07-30-2007, 07:05 PM

Stalin killed 20 million people, but gets little attention, compared to Hitler. Mao Tse-Tung starved 20 million people to death, as well as being responsible for many other atrocities. These individuals and many others, including Che Guevara, another ruthless killer, should be recognized for what they were as well.

Sweyn Forkbeard

07-30-2007, 07:20 PM

Yes Hitler was a dick but he was a pretty good dancer

Blindman0v0

07-30-2007, 09:53 PM

Hitler was just good christian folk doing the world a favor by killing the people that killed Jesus.

S.P.Q.R.

07-30-2007, 10:18 PM

onequestion

07-31-2007, 02:45 AM

palerider7777

07-31-2007, 04:07 AM

id warp to his room while he was asleep and well all i can say is a pineapple would be involved.lol

Breukelen advocaat

07-31-2007, 04:20 AM

What exactly did Che do to be called a ruthless killer. Im not arguing, im just curious as i dont know much about the subject.

In April 1967, speaking from experience, he summed up his homicidal idea of justice in his â??Message to the Tricontinentalâ?:
â??Hatred as an element of struggle; unbending hatred for the enemy, which pushes a human being beyond his natural limitations, making him into an effective, violent, selective, and cold-blooded killing machine. This is what our soldiers must become.â?
The Killing Machine: Che Guevara, from Communist Firebrand to Capitalist Brand: Newsroom: The Independent Institute (http://www.independent.org/newsroom/article.asp?id=1535)

He was a Stalinist that tortured and killed thousands in Cuba, mostly supporters of the previous regime of Batista. He put anyone opposed to his ideas into concentration camps, many of which are still operating in Cuba - where religious sectsâ?? members, homosexuals, dissidents and other people deemed undesirable by the government are sent.

"We will make our hearts cruel, hard, and immovable ... we will not quiver at the sight of a sea of enemy blood. Without mercy, without sparing, we will kill our enemies in scores of thousands; let them drown themselves in their own blood!â?
Che Guevara

Hereâ??s another good article.
Should we love Che Guevara? - By Paul Berman - Slate Magazine (http://slate.com/id/2107100/)

onequestion

07-31-2007, 05:13 AM

So whats with all the che worship? Just stupid teeny-boppers?

Pipe Dreams

07-31-2007, 05:15 AM

.50 cal sniper rifle. During one of his speeches, in front of thousands of Nazi supports. One shot one kill. Brains all over eryone.

Breukelen advocaat

07-31-2007, 05:17 AM

So whats with all the che worship? Just stupid teeny-boppers?

His image has been marketed for years, the movie based on his diary, etc. My generation fell for a lot of crap as well, in our day. I was never really a Che "fan", or a supporter of his, but well into adulthood I thought that he stood for something noble. You live and, hopefully, learn.

TheDefiler

07-31-2007, 11:18 AM

So how do u know if u were to go back in time and kill Hitler that it wouldn't turn out like Red Alert. Dunno who has heard of or played the games but in the game the Allies send a person back in time to kill Hitler and it ends up creating a power vacuum in the region and Stalin and the Soviets end up trying to take over the world. In the second game in the series the Soviets invade America!

cobracommander1079

07-31-2007, 11:39 AM

Yeah, If I had a time machine I definitley wouldnt be hanging around killers during war-time. Besides haven't you seen "Back 2 the Future", there are many possible risks that go along with changing the course of history!!

Nation_1ne

07-31-2007, 11:44 AM

This is rediculous...

I find all of these unnecessary I-Hate-Nazi threads extreamly pointless and very immature. If anyone put any intelligent thought into these threads and wanted to debate about the subject of Nazi Germany than I'd feel differently, but to me all of you are worse than the stupid Neo-Nazi's, you preach hate and ignorance but you believe it's justified

Come off it. There is no reason for someone to defend German Nazism, or glorify it. Not only that but the thread isn't about Nazi's. It's about Hitler himself and how someone would punish him. I agree some of the methods people have described are unessacary but then so was killing thousands upon thousands of Jews and innocent people unessacary. I also find your sad attempt at insulting everyone here by saying "You are worse than stupid neo-nazis" rather pathetic. If you don't like this then simply don't post. It's one thing challenging a subject, but it's another thing coming in here and being down right rude and insulting. I suggest you re-think what you're saying. Insulting people won't help them understand your views on a subject, instead it will just create more hate and trigger people to be defensive.

Hitler was just good christian folk doing the world a favor by killing the people that killed Jesus.

I hope this isn't a serious comment.

BlAzInIt4:20

07-31-2007, 11:48 AM

hang him by his balls...:stoned:

palerider7777

07-31-2007, 04:12 PM

. I agree some of the methods people have described are unessacary but then so was killing thousands upon thousands of Jews and innocent people unessacary.

u know it's funny everybody hates nazi's and all that happened but yet everytime something in the world happens it's the jews fault why is this? people bash hitler for what he did but yet bash the jews everytime they turn around like the whole peace issue in the middle east it laways falls back on the jews.why don't we let them do what they need to do to protect themselfs instead of the us always steping in say don't do that?

palerider7777

07-31-2007, 04:19 PM

it's "macho man randy savage" for the record

Nation_1ne

07-31-2007, 04:22 PM

u know it's funny everybody hates nazi's and all that happened but yet everytime something in the world happens it's the jews fault why is this? people bash hitler for what he did but yet bash the jews everytime they turn around like the whole peace issue in the middle east it laways falls back on the jews.why don't we let them do what they need to do to protect themselfs instead of the us always steping in say don't do that?

Lmao, you're preaching to the wrong person here. Some of my family is Jewish, and yes, they are blood related.

GraziLovesMary

07-31-2007, 04:29 PM

XD IM SO HIGH, AND THIS THREAD WAS KINDA FUNNY FOR VARIOUS REASONS.

WELL, I AM LIKE 60% GERman, I'D Be ON HIS Side.
Don't know why, just would.
because.
it's easier.
We'd be like, rivals, me, and whoever tried to come back in time and kill him XD.

90% of the German population is completely embarrassed and ashamed of that entire part of history, trust me I lived there.

And you would not want to be my rival if my mission is to deal death, for you would die before you had a chance to realize it was coming.

If I was lucky enough to go back in time to assassinate, I would bring only a folded Katana, or folded straight blade Diato, and a folded Tanto. I would need nothing else except for some type of camoflauge.

If I could go back in time, however, I would much rather go to the battle of Sparta against the Persian empire. Now THAT would be a death well deserved! :)

ChronicJoint

07-31-2007, 05:59 PM

i wouldnt assassinate hitler.

fr33 w33d plox

07-31-2007, 06:04 PM

rope and some acid nuf said :D

Frivolous248

07-31-2007, 08:34 PM

I would bang him over the head with a jew.

420marijuana420

08-01-2007, 12:20 AM

first i would say no, but if I had some how ended up in the past any ways I would be afraid to even sneeze. I wouldn't just go around killing people, ESPECIALLY SOME ONE WITH SUCH A BIG PART OF HISTORY. It's not like phil of the Future (disney show) where every one can just go back in time and do whatever the hell they want. When you change the past you change the future. If this were possible even the smallest thing could change history forever. There's a theory that killing/saving one single butterfly in the past could change the weather patterns of the future
Butterfly effect - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect)

Some how I think killing a human with so much influence would make things much more different.

palerider7777

08-01-2007, 03:33 PM

well i just like pointing out truth. as it seem here in the usa theres always a double standard going on as people not only in the us but everywhere really, they only want to stand up for the "cause"when it works for them.and as i see it everybody over there wants that lil tiny bit of land they have over there and everyone wants it seems weird to me well not really i know why but most people look past that as if it's not there

musictrades

08-01-2007, 03:53 PM

Simple question. Say you were on a top secret mission to go back in time and kill Hitler. How would you do it? Only one person gets to go back in time, and it's you. You can take any objects from the present, so long as they're small enough to fit inside a telephone booth sized time machine.

I wouldn't, the man was a genius. I would go back and give him some A-Bombs so he wins ww2 and the world we live in would be infinitely better.

420marijuana420

08-01-2007, 03:55 PM

I wouldn't, the man was a genius. I would go back and give him some A-Bombs so he wins ww2 and the world we live in would be infinitely better.

way to make a first impression, I can see you'll be popular.

TheDefiler

08-01-2007, 08:35 PM

If hitler did rule the world at least i'd still be alive. I'm white and of German descent....lol.

stinkyattic

08-01-2007, 08:37 PM

If hitler did rule the world at least i'd still be alive. I'm white and of German descent....lol.
Ignorance, thy name is Defiler

jdmarcus59

08-01-2007, 09:24 PM

kill him cause he has it coming? I like what clint eastwood said in the movie
THE UNFORGIVEN,.........We all got it coming.

jaGerbom

08-01-2007, 09:35 PM

ok ok first i'd nail his sack to a wooden table. Then i'd take a hammer and smash his balls in to a million pieces. Then i'd take a large knife....cut off his sack containing the broken pieces and lodge it in his throat so he would choke on it. But i would take the sack out every so often so that he didnt die from it...but suffered from choking on his own sack. After doing this for about 3 hours i would be bored with the sack so i would just have to store it in his butt for safe keeping. Then i'd start getting down to business and start cutting off each one of his fingers....dip them all in the hottest hott sauce i can find and make him eat them. Then i'd cut off his hands (whats left of them) and have them swing from some kind of rope mechanizm where they would constantly smack him. I would leave him like this for maybe 5 hours. Finally i would just toss him in the oven where he would die.

Lol. :thumbsup:

slipknotpsycho

08-01-2007, 09:47 PM

i still belivee i wouldn't do such a thing... i only said how i would (realisitcly... sorry, like i stated he was extremely paranoid, and he also had a huge army by him at all times.... the only real way (honestly) would be to do it at an extremely far range...

anyways... i honestly believe it'd cause such a ripple effect the outcome could be infininately worse then we know it as of now....

here's a theory, so you kill hitler... he still had millions in his army.... and they weren't there cuz of fear of him (for the most part) they belived in his campaign (not all, but a shitload did, probably even most) so someone else would take his place to keep the war going.... now what you have is a completely diffrent person organizing the strikes... probably less paraniod then hitler....

how could this affect the outcome? think about it... 2 degrees higher of an IQ and the ability to move around at will (instead of hiding) could easily of turned things around... perhaps the replacement was smarter, and had better battle strategies... strategies that could have resulted, ultimately in us losing the war....

that's just one of a literally infininate number of diffrent outcomes.

true, it could very easily of ended things faster... i' mnot saying that every outcome would be worse.. but since it's so far in the past, and we're relatively 'at peace' woudl you really want to risk it? honestly?

i wouldn't.

Blitzed

08-01-2007, 10:17 PM

TheDefiler

08-01-2007, 10:20 PM

Ignorance, thy name is Defiler

I'm not saying that he didn't get what was coming to him though. :D

GraziLovesMary

08-01-2007, 10:20 PM

Man, If I had a time machine Id say screw it, and go back to when dinosaures roamed the earth. Or id go back to the early 1900's with a bunch of movie scripts and modern technology, and become very rich.

Id go die in the Spartans battle against the Persian army. Either that or go back to the founding of the Shao Lin temple and train with the ORIGINAL MASTERS. Hell yeah....

ChronicJoint

08-01-2007, 10:23 PM

I wouldn't, the man was a genius. I would go back and give him some A-Bombs so he wins ww2 and the world we live in would be infinitely better.

woo only one post and you already have 2 red squares. i think this may be a record!

marijuana_dreamz

08-01-2007, 10:31 PM

i am a little german..but i would still SHOOT him right between the eyes :):jointsmile:

slipknotpsycho

08-01-2007, 10:36 PM

Man, If I had a time machine Id say screw it, and go back to when dinosaures roamed the earth. Or id go back to the early 1900's with a bunch of movie scripts and modern technology, and become very rich.

nah all you need is a sports alamanac dude...

pull a back to the future lol... but yeah i'd love to go back to the early 1900's... like before weed was illegal...

i'd make it apoint to smoke with every single president and turn him into a full fledged pothead.... along with key members of congress and what not... so they'd never illegalize it...

:D but then yal in the future would have a problem... instead of oil, america would be taken over the hemp/cannabis industry...

REEFERDREAMZ

08-01-2007, 11:17 PM

I have already answered this once but I thgouht of something else...nightcrawlers up his asshole, when they have no where to go butt a hole, thats where there heading...they will slowly work through his intestines, in his nostrils.. I dont know.

Lets not waste time. Just blow the mother fucker to smithereens
( again)...lol !:gunfighter2:

I am sorry for all the jews and people he surrounded and tortured and killed in cold blood hate.:sadcrying:sadcrying:sadcrying:sadcrying

palerider7777

08-01-2007, 11:54 PM

Id go die in the Spartans battle against the Persian army. Either that or go back to the founding of the Shao Lin temple and train with the ORIGINAL MASTERS. Hell yeah....

yea that has meaning, as much as u know u should'nt need any of that.or do u mean u would go there to teach them lmao

palerider7777

08-01-2007, 11:55 PM

people are blind

snowblind

08-02-2007, 12:01 AM

i would boil up all the people he killed, then dig a massive pit thats about 60ft deep and 6ft radius, then i would put him in the bottom and gradually tip the boiled up sauce of the people he killed on to him very slowly over weeks.

depending on his will to live, i would just repeat the process over and over, filling and refilling, till he drowned in the blood and remains of those he killed

higher4hockey

08-02-2007, 12:51 AM

i'd fuck his mom before his dad did.

Oneironaut

08-02-2007, 01:12 AM

90% of the German population is completely embarrassed and ashamed of that entire part of history, trust me I lived there.
I would say 90% is a gross underestimate. I've never met a German who didn't think Hitler was a brutal monster. They hate him so much that Nazism and Nazi symbolism are illegal in Germany and Austria.

orangeman

08-02-2007, 01:21 AM

Just shoot him in the head until he doesn't move anymore. Simple enough :).

couch-potato

08-02-2007, 01:32 AM

Should any of you assassinate Hitler, we would lose the VW Beetle forever. Are any of you bold enough to deny the world such a beautiful product of German ingenious and engineering? I think not!

VROOOOM VROOOOM!!! BEEP BEEP!!! OUT OF MY WAY, COMMUNIST ASSHOLES!!!

crudemood

08-02-2007, 03:43 AM

get close to him.. then take him out when he has gained my confidence.
oh yes... he wouldnt even suspect it.

snowblind

08-02-2007, 04:06 AM

the trouble with hitler is he took it too far. what he did for germany was great and he basically built their infrastructure and work ethic that continues today.

he however like most rulers got corrupted.

most of the german army didnt know what he was doing and whilst it was prevelant that jews where being rounded up, it wasnt common knowledge they were being executed

im sure most of the soilders regret their actions and the consequences. but people have and will always fight for their country. it represents home, family and their heritage. not nessecarily that they agree with their leaders political agenda

parralells are easily drawn between america and iraq

as with all monsters in history, they do serve as a warning. it is debatable wether japan would be as great a nation and the leading in technology if it had not have been attacked with a nuclear weapon.

the repocussions of killing hitler may have spawned something much worse. maybe even a rise to power of himler or another of hitlers right hand men, who debatably are much worse as they often created and executed plans built around rough ideas or impregnated ideas of hitler.

the man was unstanble to say the least, there are grey areas around his sexuality and relationships with boys and his female cousins and his marraige to ava brown is well documented as sterile.

i know this is a hypothetical forum, but it does raise an interesting question in the laws of space and time and the different perceptions we have upon them. one of the main catalsty of the war was the assasination of the polish or italian king, prime minister ..??!! stoned

so hitlers assasination may not be the answer. all we can do is learn from the mistakes of our fellow man. yet genocide and mass killings of innocents is something that has happened many times since. it is a real shame

still id like to believe he is paying his pennance

snowblind