frustrated

[thoughtwriter]

i don't understand my husband...or men in general for that matter...
When i make plans to make him a nice bbq dinner on his half day off....instead of coming home he goes to the bowling alley...then comes home and goes straight to bed at 8pm.
whats up with that...im not even mad, more sad or hurt
sorry in needed that get that out...:(

[Mountaindewzilla]

Shouldn't he have called or something?

I'd confront his ass. What kind of man turns down BBQ!?

[thoughtwriter]

i dunno....he works 7 days a week...and his bowling day is usually tuesdays. So, i thought we would have a nice dinner and chill, just to appreciate one another this evening.... My mind is going nuts right now..maybe im just over thinking it

[Veratyr Star]

Seriously

bbq ftmfw

[KingsBlend420]

Yea, pour bbq sauce on him while he's sleeping. That sucks, perhaps you should talk to him. If you made plans and he broke them suddenly you have the right to be pissed.

[thoughtwriter]

i ending up just eating alone...i was really damn good though,lol...too bad for him, i gave his to the dog.
and for inquiring minds, it was huli huli chicken...homemade marinade for 9 hours....that m.f'er...im not a very happy camper right now
too all guys that are married or have steady girls....dont ever do that shit, its extremely insulting and a waste of a womans time

[partcleguy]

Wait, did you actually tell him you had plans for the dinner? If so, then yes thats extremely screwed up. If you had plans and figured you would surprise him, maybe he had already made plans to go bowling or something? I don't know, I wouldn't choose bowling over that...

[birdgirl73]

Did he know you were making the dinner and planning that and then went to bowl instead? Because if he didn't, that's not quite the same thing. I know sometimes if I have specific dinner plans in my mind and have it all planned out the way it should go and yet forget to fill him in on that detail, then, well, the joke's on me because he couldn't read my mind.

If he did know about the special dinner and all the work you'd put in, he should have just been straight with you and said he wanted to use his half night off to go bowl and do some guy-bonding instead. You wouldn't have liked it, but at least you would have gotten the information directly. Above all, make sure you're not getting into a battle of control with him. By that I mean trying to control what he does, where he goes, etc. I see my sister and one of my best friends both trying to do that with their husbands, and it makes me wonder if they get men at all. That's the fastest way in the world to get them to start skipping dinner with wifey entirely and going off to the bar, the bowling alley, Wal-Mart, the electronics store, the park just so they can be themselves and be free! Just live and let live and don't harbor resentment about this incident. Your life will be so much easier and your marriage much happier.

[Demeter]

I can understand your frustration- it sounds like a wonderful meal!
If he did know you were planning the dinner, he's acting like a real jerk. But if he didn't, then you probably need to just sit down and talk about how you feel, since the slight wasn't intentional. Men can't read our minds, though it would really help if they could!
I hope you are able to work this out-

[Blitzed]

You can make me BBQ any time, I would love to have someone cook for me!

Oh, and next time he wants sex, make sure you go to bed at 8, and so he hes just left with the mistress, Rosey Palms.

[Ganj]

I have a tough time managing my frustration. I hear communication is a good step to managing uncomfortable situations. Good, clear communication though. You could scream until you're blue in the face and he still wouldn't get it.

[thoughtwriter]

he knew, i told him before he went to a meeting, the fromt he meeting, he went straight to the alley
but eh, im done being upset about it...waste of energy

[rebgirl420]

Im sorry hun. Luckily my fiance knows his role. He's not allowed anywhere without calling me. Hell, he doesnt even like to be alone so I get dragged along to everywhere he wants to go. The only time were not together is when I shake him loose to go get my nails done. And THEN he begs to go with me.

[Ganj]

he knew, i told him before he went to a meeting, the fromt he meeting, he went straight to the alley
but eh, im done being upset about it...waste of energy

Sounds like you just wanted a little bit of recognition for your efforts. And that's not too much to ask for. Don't you worry yourself though, because there are many women out there whose efforts are overlooked. Fight the good fight and you'll be a-OK!

[spliffstar22]

i can't believe that, what man in their right mind turns down fuckin BBQ, shit, I'd be there early, with a fat blunt, ready to eat some bombbbbbb munchies lol

[thoughtwriter]

lol...thanks guys...i swear, i smoke a bowl with all you's!!!...but my hubby dont smoke, so i could see where he wouldn't be that hungry, lol

[Breukelen advocaat]

i don't understand my husband...or men in general for that matter...
When i make plans to make him a nice bbq dinner on his half day off....instead of coming home he goes to the bowling alley...then comes home and goes straight to bed at 8pm.
whats up with that...im not even mad, more sad or hurt
sorry in needed that get that out...:(

His "half-day off"? Is this to say that he works six and a half days a week? If so do you work also, outside of the home?

[thoughtwriter]

yes, but i dont have a 'normal' job...lol, i do promotional/modeling work, so i get 'gigs'...if the works not there....im usually at home...also, i do catering on the side

[Ganj]

lol...thanks guys...i swear, i smoke a bowl with all you's!!!...but my hubby dont smoke, so i could see where he wouldn't be that hungry, lol

I'm gonna hold you to that smoke. :jointsmile: