Feeling detached

[LuckyG]

This was keeping me up tonight, so I figured I'd vent about it. It might be tenuously related to the depersonalization/derealization thread from a few days back, but I doubt it.

Lately I've been feeling as though I've been sort of coasting through life. It's not bad, really, just kind of a detached feeling, like I'm watching life happen on a predetermined path and I'm just going through the motions as they happen. Lots of things that I would normally have been excited or at least had some sort of emotional response to have happened in the past two weeks - multiple piercings, a subsequent break from work while I recover, preparing to move to a new place, preparing to start growing - but I never really got excited about them. Everything is very neutral.

I took a break from toking about two weeks ago, and aside from a day of depression immediately thereafter (which could very well have been caused by other events) there weren't any side effects, so I know it's not the weed. I have suffered from extensive depression in the past but this is different. Is there something "wrong" with me, or is this how "normal" people feel?

[LuckyG]

I pretty much described it up there. was just curious to see if anyone knew what it was - it's not a big deal, but it would be nice to know what's going on with my brain. Thanks for the thought though. :)

[Ganj]

Think about it dude! You've got your own place now! And you're going to start growing! I'm sure your brain has enough serotonin to supply you with the emotional high. Just stop! Breathe! And look around you!

[Canuckofithaca]

are you happy?

[dancerat]

I think everyone goes through a period in their life where they look at themselves or their situation and don't feel anything or feel slightly numb. I think if it lasts longer than 2-3 months or if it affects your job or relationships you should probably talk to a 420 friendly psych-professional. You don't say how old you are, but society isn't really happy right now for 20 somethings. Maybe you haven't found a passion in life yet, and you need to explore more options, like politics or art or college?

[skiddy]

dude i feel the same way but more so from my dumbass youth huffing areosole cans =( i feel so dumb about it i wana cry

[LuckyG]

dancerat: Aye, I'm 21 as of Thursday. I'm off to university soon, just to try something new, so we'll see how that goes.

Canuckofithaca: Sometimes I'm happy. I've noticed lately that I've been having huge mood swings, set off by what would normally be insignificant events. I think I can get free counselling through my mum's job benefits (whenever they kick in) so if things don't perk up after I've been at school for a while I'll definitely take advantage of that.

Ganj: You're probably right. I've just been finding it hard to look on the bright side of life lately - I know it's there, waiting for me. Hopefully after I move things will get better, right now I feel like I've been stagnating for a few months and I need that change desperately.

[HighTillIDie]

i think it is completely normal man... especially for your age... i go through very very very similar moods... i become really detactched at points... i don't know how i snap out of it though... i think by focusing on my blessings, and opportunities... i dunno

BUT i do know one thing... my mind never stops or slows... so what are you thinking about constantly what deep thoughts are you processing, to cause you to detatch from the outside? If it is a sense of purpose, or direction, i understand... but ya just gotta realize, the quality of your life is based around your ability to keep yourself happy... do you think you make yourself happy?

[LuckyG]

Right now it's a lot of negative thoughts... I'm leaving this town, and it seems that it's throwing up all the shit and regrets that ever bothered me from day one of my life, even stuff that I've forgotten, and I have to deal with it all over again.

I'm working hard on focussing on the good stuff though. Not a lot of variety happens in my life, so any experience, good or bad, is a long time coming, and I have to grab ahold of the few good things and not let go of them.

There was a time, between a month and three months ago, that I felt happy, and felt really good about myself. I wish I could have kept myself in that state, but for some reason it faded away. I'll get it back yet.

Right now I have to go buy some gardening supplies. Getting all that together is a good feeling. :D

[Storm Crow]

Dude, get outside for a while! Nothing like a walk in nature to level you out. Natural green just sooths the soul somehow. Take some "B" vitamins and fish oil (omega 3)- both have anti-depressive effects.

Do something! Read a book, start a garden(!), or better yet- do something for someone else- work at a volunteer position (humane society, food bank, senior center, library, preschool, whatever). "Doing for others" lifts YOUR spirit! So it's time for you to get moving- force yourself; learn to be "mean" to yourself and just do it!

Remember that you are surrounded by folks who care about you. Some of us are out on the net, some are related by blood, others live by you. Reach out to them and they will be there! - Granny

[dancerat]

21 is so young! Oh, I wish I could re-live those years again (but only knowing what I know now, and with my current career and savings, haha). I think you are going to go through a lot of "numb" times for the next ten years. Life doesn't really kick in with rewards I think, until you are in your late 30's early 40's - everything else is just sort of figuring out who you are and what you like to do. Plus, who says that feeling peaceful and detached is bad? Maybe you should enjoy this now, because when you get older and have to be all grown up, you'll look back and go "wow, I should have lounged around and felt nothing a bit more!"

[IanCurtisWishlist]

The detachment you are talking about is called "Depersonalization" , or maybe even "Derealization" in some instances. Depersonalization is the sense that you are not really human. Derealization is the sense that the world around you seems distant, dreamlike even. It is often found to go hand-in-hand with "anhedonia"-- a lack of ability to find joy in things once found to be pleasurable. Usually this is a symptom of depression. Don't trip--hormones are ever-changing when we are in our 20's (which is why I can empathize, I often feel this way). If you study pharmacology at some point you might find out that hormones and chemicals in our brains are responsible for the majority of our emotions. How else do you think a THC molecule could alter our consciousness so radically???

Bottom line: It's all chemistry (not to trivialize your feelings).

[Trip06]

Man I Feel for you people, I have some major dissociation going on right now too. Ive had a couple rouf years going through some bad depression after I quit my job and got a bunch of tickets. Basicly my life went to shit, So I totally felt worthless and tried to die. Well anyways after lots of spaceing out and shit from delusionment People would just fuck with me all the time and I felt like I couldnt go anywhere without being thought a nut. I was practicly psycotic so I isolated myself a lot. When I did get out Id be so spaced out from being distraut people would just give me more shit so I got really insecure. Id worry about how people where going to think about me. I got on benzos but sence I like to get really high Id take more than what I need puting me in lala land. I tried slowing down and taking things easy, starting small, trying to think rationaly. But Ive always had a shitty self esteem so I started drinking. Thank god my family was around or I wouldnt be here. So sence weed was making things worse for me at that point I had to quit, after all I was smoking way too much. It just added to the parinioa, insecurity, disliusionment,. I Tryied letn go and just relaxen but I was broke and I basicly pushed all my friends away. So sence being bored and alone made things really bad I just kinda stopped caring. I went to my side jobs which I was working to pay off my fines and a lot of outstanding bills and just came home. Things were really rough being boerd, but I was becoming more stable. I still dont feel apart of reality, but most of that is due to the fact Im not getn out. Its gonna be along time b4 I can get back to enjoying life. I gotta pay of some tickets, then turn myself in, go to jail, get out and get a job, then get a new life and friends. Lately Ive been getting high no problume, It deffinetly has been improving my mood. When I can smoke In a comfortable setting and enjoy in peace its a major uplift for me. I dont get all freaked out and uncomfortable. Damn that was a lotta typing, anyways yeah I guess Im more responcible with my smoke now.

[Grade A]

dancerat: Aye, I'm 21 as of Thursday. I'm off to university soon, just to try something new, so we'll see how that goes.

Canuckofithaca: Sometimes I'm happy. I've noticed lately that I've been having huge mood swings, set off by what would normally be insignificant events. I think I can get free counselling through my mum's job benefits (whenever they kick in) so if things don't perk up after I've been at school for a while I'll definitely take advantage of that.

Ganj: You're probably right. I've just been finding it hard to look on the bright side of life lately - I know it's there, waiting for me. Hopefully after I move things will get better, right now I feel like I've been stagnating for a few months and I need that change desperately.


I was in the same situation a few years ago. IMO, it's completely normal. Everyone goes through down times.... look at Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton! :D

Anyway, I was 18 heading out to Colorado for the time of my life... I was going to school, gettting a nice apartment in the place I always wanted to live... then shit hit the fan. The apratment was too far away from the school and I didn't have a car so I had to move in the dorms. Then, I got stuck with all night classes as an 18 y/o freshman... All my roomates were gone during the day and I just sat around and sulked. I started to miss my friends and family... what probably made it worse was the fact my roomate would stay up until 4am play games so I couldn't sleep and refresh myself... and I was broke. We'll a month later I dropped out and came back home... something I've realized that might have been the worst decision of my life. I started to hang out with my old friends again. They were becoming losers and druggies (hard drugs not just mj) as was the small town way. I was working 9 hour days, 5 days a week. I had money again, but I started partying hard, drinking, and doing drugs. I eventually got arrested one night tripping. I was becoming depressed with my current state becuase I knew I could be doing so much more with my life. A few months went by and I realized I had to do something. That was the turning point. I decided to go back to school at 21. Unfrotuntaley, I kept coming back home on the weekends for the first year to work. I'd hang out with the same old group of people. They'd always being partying and stuff. It was really draining. At 22, I decided it was time for a change. I was always tired, unmotivated, and my self-esteem was horrible (something I've always had a problem with.. but I think I have realized why now that I'm a bit more mature). I wanted to get healthy. I had to cut off my ties with those same friends. It was hard at first, but I think it was the right move. It allowed me to become myself, not whom they were becoming. I started working out and running 6 days a week. Now, I'm 24. I still get down feelings once and a while, but I find they are easier to cope with as you get older. It seems like I have an easier job realizing what is affecting myself.

It really helped with my psyche, because I kept myself busy, but it was not as mentally and physically draining as my previous 4 years.

I hope with my story I could give you some inspiration. Things will get better. You seem like you're on the right track. Good luck.