This ever happen to you?

[AR15]

Heads up people, do a quick scroll and you'll see this might be a little long. Just a warning. :jointsmile: And sorry mods, I don't know if this should be here or in the experiences forum, but I just stuck it here, feel free to move.

So there's this girl that I know. I get along really well with her. I always felt comfortable around her and talk came very easy as if we had known each other since we were kids. I feel like she feels the same way. She's very attractive and I could easily picture us dating each other and having it develop into a good long serious relationship.

Well you know when you pick up on those vibes, like with out even knowing it adding up all those little subtle things. Well it always made me feel like she would like to go out with me and really be a close person in my life. Great! Right? No, here's the kicker. She's already in a relationship. And it's one of those highschool sweetheart type relationships. They've been going out a long time, since highschool, and she always mentions that she never goes out. She said she didn't go out in college.

So I pick up the vibe that she wants something new. I think she wants to be with me and go out and have fun with me and party and stuff, but at the same time have us keep a serious relationship. Basically I think she wants me to start hanging out with her and keep going with it until we're actually serious and at some point she'll leave who she's currently with. Well besides trouble written all over that with the boyfriend and shit, I don't like doing that at all. I really think she should leave first, then move on, but I don't know if she's insecure or is afraid I don't feel that way about her and then she'll have made a big mistake or whatever.

I have a close friend who's kind of in the same type of relationship they're in, and it seems like they're perfect for each other and will get married. I don't see much of them, they don't really go out to much, even with their close friends. They're very settled, but they're happy. I wouldn't want anyone to ruin it for them. Just like I wouldn't want to ruin it for this girl if that's the case. I really do care about her, and I hope the best for her with or with out me. Everytime I see her I always make time just to chop it up with her, even if I'm late for something. I always ask how she is and everything and I'm sure to ask if there's anything new with her. Well I'm always hoping she's gonna say that she broke up with her boyfriend. Never happens, and she always mentions her boyfriend once, just to let me know they're still going out. But she never really talks about it like she's happy with him.

Well I don't see her all that often anymore, just here and there. But it always is the same thing and no matter what she seems happy to see me and still puts out those vibes. I'll think about her a lot too, and when it seems like I'm kind of forgetting her and thinking about her less and less, I end up running into her. I don't know... wtf? Is this something I should be moving on? I'm always wondering that, every damn time I see her.

So now you know how I feel about her and what our connection is. Last night I had a dream. Well to cut to the chase at some point in the dream I'm at a familiar place. Well, an older man drive a pickup truck with her and this guy in it. They get out and she sees me and starts running over and hugs me, says it's so good to see you. It wasn't said in the dream, but the guy was her father, and usually if I'm kissing or hugging a girl I get really uncomfortable if their parents are around and watching. But I didn't care and it didn't bother me.

We stopped hugging each other and were still kind of holding each other though and we start talking. She says, "It's soo good to see you." We start talking and again this wasn't said in the dream (the information I'm about to say in the dream), but I said that I heard she broke up with her boyfriend and then she confirmed it. (the other guy was her boyfriend, well, ex in the dream) We started hugging again and we just hugged and held each other, like we really felt connected with each other. The two guys watched but I didn't give a shit at all. I felt so ecstatic and had not a single care in the world and then all of a sudden it was just us together holding each other.

Then I wake up. And it was one of those *BANG* you're awake type deals. And I sat up and just let it sink in, and sat and thought. I hate waking up in the middle of a great dream, but this one was different you know? It's weird, but it kind bothers me. And it feels like I'm coming down, hard, off some hard drugs, like it's ok, I was feeling like the greatest person in the world and now it's back to shitty old reality... I don't know, this dream really got to me.

Dreams were always an enigma, and to me I always felt they could mean something. I dream a lot. But rarely to I feel like dreams have a heavy significance and rarely do they, I don't know how to say this, but get me where I'm vulnerable.

I don't know, I really don't. Does this ever happen to any of you?

[Coelho]

Man... i already did awake in the middle of a lovely dream, like you... and i understand perfectly how it feels... its really a heavy coming down... i never did use hard drugs, but can imagine how it may feel like... its sad, sometimes even dispairing...
Well... unfortunately i havent any good advice for you... just a quote... excuse me if it may sound a bit harsh for your situation, but its true:

"Women is much alike bus. Instead running behind one, just wait the next one."

[YouAintKnow]

Yeah you have an enjoyable dream and all of the sudden...FUCK your back to reality.

But as far as what to do I don't know. Its hard to show a girl how you feel if they have a boyfriend. I say you should try to hangout with her more, maybe you can convince her that you are the one.

But I know how you feel, been there and done that. I have a similar connection with a girl that I want to date soon, she doesn't have a boyfriend like the one you want though.

Anyways, best of luck.

[Spoken Word]

liking someong and dreaming about them? and waking up on the good part?
happends to me alll the time.

you shouldn't make a move unless she's single.

[Acouwaila]

I cant give you any advice...it seems like you see where you stand and you know theres nothing you can do...

Thats a tough situation though I feel for you....if you strongly believe that you think this girl may be the one for you....and you strongly believe you could convince her of it....then go for it....take a leap and do something spontaneous(sp)

but...if your doubt is high...it might be better to put it in the past

[friendowl]

i may be a big asshole but i dont care
if a woman i like gives me those feelings
than im going to act on them
a lot of good peopel are stuck in bad relationships
its hard to break free sometimes
for me it is a lil difficult to find someone compatible
with my lifestyle so when i have the opportunity
to make myself happy i jump at the chance
two peple who are happy in a relationship will never
give another person that kind of feeling like they want to hook up

when things get to that level they are pretty much over anyways
if i was you id just tell her how you feel
chicks love it when you get raw with emotions

[StonedAssasin]

yeah man I know how you feel.. just last night I was talking to one of my exes.. who I have gone out with twice before now.. and like straight up.. I told her how I felt.. sincere and with emotion.. I made myself vulnerable to her.. she's always been that type to make me feel comfortable around her.. so I just broke free and told her how it is.. and when I did.. she broke down and told me how much she misses me and how she always thinks of me.. and now we're planning on seeing eachother sometime.. I just cant wait to hold her.. ya know? Im sorry if Im getting to dumb here but your post really got to me man. I know how you feel.. like when you dig a chick so much.. it interferes with how you think. when I think of this girl I get heavy feelings in my chest and anxious... I want her.. it's almost as if I urgently need her.. something tells me to go all out.. it's been over a year since the last time I saw her besides myspace.. but definately man.. tell her how you feel.. It may be a bit harder cus she has a boyfriend and you dont wanna seem clingy.. I'd say my situation is easier because I feel comfortable with my ex.. but she also knows I'm not good at saying my true feelings.. cus I feel so vulnerable and when I say how I feel about someone.. I mean it.. but it feels like Im opening myself up to get real hurt.. and if that happens.. again, Idk what I would do man.. Woman.. they dont know what they do to us guys, really we're more then muscle and ego.. when a girls got us... she's got us, it's crazy. Hope everything turns out for the better man. take care

[AR15]

Man... i already did awake in the middle of a lovely dream, like you... and i understand perfectly how it feels... its really a heavy coming down... i never did use hard drugs, but can imagine how it may feel like... its sad, sometimes even dispairing...
Well... unfortunately i havent any good advice for you... just a quote... excuse me if it may sound a bit harsh for your situation, but its true:

"Women is much alike bus. Instead running behind one, just wait the next one."

No, not harsh words. But it's not exactly like that. I'm living my life like I should. I'm not stopping things for her. It's just that she's on my mind and I can't get her out. As soon as she's fading away, I end up running into her. And I haven't seen her in a bit, so she was kind of in the back of mind, but I have this dream and then all of a fucking sudden I can't get her off my mind again. In any case, thanks for the response.


Yeah you have an enjoyable dream and all of the sudden...FUCK your back to reality.

But as far as what to do I don't know. Its hard to show a girl how you feel if they have a boyfriend. I say you should try to hangout with her more, maybe you can convince her that you are the one.

But I know how you feel, been there and done that. I have a similar connection with a girl that I want to date soon, she doesn't have a boyfriend like the one you want though.

Anyways, best of luck.

Well I definately want to be around her. It's hard because I don't see her that often, but next time I do, I'm gonna try and break the ice and just spend some time with her even if it is for something like coffee (even though I don't drink coffee, but it's casual).

As for you, thanks, and I hope everything works out between you and her. It's a lot easier to "steal" a girl when her boyfriend's a POS.


I cant give you any advice...it seems like you see where you stand and you know theres nothing you can do...

Thats a tough situation though I feel for you....if you strongly believe that you think this girl may be the one for you....and you strongly believe you could convince her of it....then go for it....take a leap and do something spontaneous(sp)

but...if your doubt is high...it might be better to put it in the past

I'm not sure if I feel she's the "one", but I feel like she's definitely someone who's perfect for me at the moment. I NEVER try to think too far ahead. I don't wonder if I'm going to marry someone or not, it's just how I feel at that stage in my life. I can want to fuck a chick (one time thing), be with a chick (date and see what happens), or really seriously want to be about a chick, which in the latter is where I feel that I could have a long meaningful relationship with her. If we end up feeling like we're perfect for each other and want to be with each other forever, then that's great. But it's not something I think about. I figure I'll know, when I know.

I don't think you meant for me to look at your post that far, sorry I'm not, I'm just kind of rambling off on it. But it's something I feel I'm stuck at. I want to make something of it, but at the same time I'm trying to move on. It's just that she keeps popping up. I don't know.

Thanks.


i may be a big asshole but i dont care
if a woman i like gives me those feelings
than im going to act on them
a lot of good peopel are stuck in bad relationships
its hard to break free sometimes
for me it is a lil difficult to find someone compatible
with my lifestyle so when i have the opportunity
to make myself happy i jump at the chance
two peple who are happy in a relationship will never
give another person that kind of feeling like they want to hook up

when things get to that level they are pretty much over anyways
if i was you id just tell her how you feel
chicks love it when you get raw with emotions

At one end, I hate people like you for what you said right there "im going to act on them", but at the same time I really respect you for doing that, if that makes sense. (Keep in mind, I don't hate you, I just have a strong negative feeling towards people who go after others in relationships [if that makes any sense]) I know I should act on it, but at the same time I'd feel like shit if she did something with me before she left him, or if she didn't leave him in a nice manner or something... I don't know.

I do know what you mean about how it's over already, but how am I supposed to make her see that. I can't. She just has to realize it for herself. I think the big thing here is that I need to let her know how I feel. If I do that, I'll make myself vulnerable, very vulnerable, and I don't know how she's going to take it. So it could hurt, but that's the thrill of it right? I think it's something I need to do, but I need to see her first. I do have her number, but I don't want to come across as random and/or desperate. So I need to see her again, and when I do, I think I'll try to go spend sometime with her even if it's short, just to get that comfortability level again. And after that I'd like to make it a point to see her somewhere, something casual and neutral. Then I'd like to actually tell her how I feel.

I think if I push a little at least it'll show some true interest. Your post gets me ambitious. Thanks.


yeah man I know how you feel.. just last night I was talking to one of my exes.. who I have gone out with twice before now.. and like straight up.. I told her how I felt.. sincere and with emotion.. I made myself vulnerable to her.. she's always been that type to make me feel comfortable around her.. so I just broke free and told her how it is.. and when I did.. she broke down and told me how much she misses me and how she always thinks of me.. and now we're planning on seeing eachother sometime.. I just cant wait to hold her.. ya know? Im sorry if Im getting to dumb here but your post really got to me man. I know how you feel.. like when you dig a chick so much.. it interferes with how you think. when I think of this girl I get heavy feelings in my chest and anxious... I want her.. it's almost as if I urgently need her.. something tells me to go all out.. it's been over a year since the last time I saw her besides myspace.. but definately man.. tell her how you feel.. It may be a bit harder cus she has a boyfriend and you dont wanna seem clingy.. I'd say my situation is easier because I feel comfortable with my ex.. but she also knows I'm not good at saying my true feelings.. cus I feel so vulnerable and when I say how I feel about someone.. I mean it.. but it feels like Im opening myself up to get real hurt.. and if that happens.. again, Idk what I would do man.. Woman.. they dont know what they do to us guys, really we're more then muscle and ego.. when a girls got us... she's got us, it's crazy. Hope everything turns out for the better man. take care

Well, I know what you mean about vulnerability. And I think you're right. I do need to let her know how I feel. I think that's what it really comes down to. I need to see her again. And I need to get this shit off my chest. Thanks.

To everyone that replied, thanks, I really appreciate it, Coelho, YouAintKnow, Spoken Word, Acouwaila, friendowl, rickytikki, and StonedAssasin.

Spoken Word, I feel that way. But I think I need to let her know how I feel. Just let her know, not make a move or anything, just let her know.

ANY FEMALE ADVICE WOULD BE MUCH APRECIATED. I would really like to hear what any female has to say on this. Especially if you have ever felt like what I think that the girl feels like.

In anycase, thanks for all your advice and support, I really do appreciate it.

[Mountaindewzilla]

Man, this shit hit home for me, and has really made me think about my recent shit as well as my past shit.

Anyway:
We are emotional beings, and we are driven by things that are not really within our control. You cannot decide not to have feelings for someone, so it is best to come to terms with the fact that you're going to do whatever it is that you feel like you need to do.
On the other side of that coin, if you can avoid shit where you stuck with decisions you don't want to make, you should. Recognize things, like when a chick you dig is in a strong relationship with someone else, or if you get with a chick that neglects you, or with whatever chick that is going to fuck your shit up.

I'm not saying that relationships should be easy, I'm just saying that one should avoid broken relationships.

I know it won't help, but just the same way that you cannot move on, I feel compelled to tell you to move on. There are other fish in the sea, and though they might not be her, there are loads that you could have positive relationship with.

I hope you find contentment in whatever decisions you make.
:hippy: