PMS/PMDD

[greenmeanie]

(I am a male)

To all toking females on the site, how does cannabis affect your cycle? Positive/negative, are you on birth control, etc... ?

The reason I am asking is because I have(had) a best friend, and we just had a falling out. We got close in high school and forged some pretty deep bonds after graduation. She originally was attracted to me, but I never returned the emotion (sorry gals, I like the cock). She eventually got over that and we became each other's best friend. This was all before I got into cannabis.

We went through a lot of rough times before, and since we lived in the same town I could be there for her. But after that first year, I went to college and lived in the dorms. Due to family/money/other problems, she was unable to do the same. I had to help her out monetarily (and I DON'T regret it), which seems to have strained our relationship some. She pulled through magnificently, and after working two jobs to pay back all her debt, she's now at the same school as I am. But then I got into the herb last fall, and since she was raised straightedge/american/christian she didn't really like the "changes" she saw in me. Personally I only saw good changes: it opened my eyes to both the lies and the good in this world, and the responsibility that everyone has to make things better. She only slightly opened up to try it, and didn't really get high the three times I smoked her out. In her mind, cannabis is more damaging to the human body and mind than alcohol and prescription pills (both of which she uses to affect her mood). She loves to drink her troubles away, and I'm concerned for the trend of alcoholism in her family.

Anyway, she is still living near campus, while I have moved back home for the summer. I have not seen her for over a month, and we haven't spoken on the phone. The last time I talked to her, she was upset at me. I don't know what I did to trigger it, but she has written me a letter apologizing for leaving things on bad terms. Now she tells me that she's been diagnosed with PMDD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premenstrual_dysphoric_disorder), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.

As a man, I cannot possibly imagine what she is going through. I realize that hormonal imbalances are devastating to the sufferer. I need female input now. Because of my long history with her, I feel a responsibility to be there for her. But like the cow who learns not to touch the electrified fence, I can't bear the thought of actually calling or meeting with her. The past few times I've tried to be civil with her, she has gone 100% moody and wacko. I can't deal with it when I answer the phone cheerfully, and get hate spewed at me. I know she doesn't truly mean it, and I only return love and friendship, but I don't know if there's anything I can do to help besides sit her down and one by one eradicate her problems. Step one of course would be to keep her from drinking and popping painkillers to get through the day.

Any suggestions?

[Samwhore]

Your sweet for putting up with it.
That's all you can do, is just stay by her, you might want to get some more people involved in it, but it sounds that you guys are much too close to make this a less personal battle.

She knows that this is hurting you because of that letter, you might want to write back telling her how you feel, it will ease the tension of being face to face, and letters seem more personal for some reason.

[stinkyattic]

You obviously have a deep caring for your girl and that is wonderful.
Hormonal imbalances are horrible. In my experience- I was put on Zoloft for SEVERE pms about 2 years ago, which was the WORST drug I have ever taken- staying away from alcohol is going to do a LOT to reduce mood problems and depression from pms.
Perscription drugs are only so effective- they are VERY specific and often have undesirable side effects. For example, the Zoloft made my pms-related depression much better, but really severely increased my anxiety, and I started having frequent panic attacks.
This combination of things helped me the most of all:
1) it's step 1 for a reason, a good therapist whose style suits her needs, to sort out the problem properly. Like, how much of it is the PMS, how much is the drinking, is she having side effects from other drugs, and are there other factors?
2) lay off the sauce. I know it is a major social thing during and after college for a LOT of people, but you can't deny its role in depression.
3) possibly consider changing perscriptions. My new therapist was aghast that someone had perscribed me zoloft with my anxiety, and also said the birth control pill that I was on at the time was REALLY a contributor, and that I should change or stop it. Different pills have different effects on women. I know I will never take an oral contraceptive again!
Anyway that's the help I can give for what she can do to get her mood back right.
There is not much I can say about your interactions... if she is addicted to pills and alcohol, it may be best to talk to someone in her family- does she have a sibling who she listens to? This sounds actually more like her mood problems are a result of addiction than purely hormonal. Until she acknowledges that, neither of you can do anything to solve the problems.

Could it be that she is happy to accept the diagnosis of PMDD because it lets her off the hook for her actions? Think about that....

[saralinda]

hi there. unfortunately you can't make her seek the best treatment, just protect yourself from her wrath. my suggestion is to try to schedule seeing her when she is not in the PMS part of her cycle. then she'll be your old pal. we only are insane DURING PMS. by all means avoid all contact with her during her PMS. i use cyclespage.com to track mine and give a printout to my boyfriend, so he knows when i start to become mr. hyde.

good luck!