If jesus were here

[Gatekeeper777]

If jesus were here would you....


Smoke a bowl or two with him

OR


Beat the living shit out of him for starting a religion that forbids all the good stuff?

[bong_man]

beat the fucking shit out of him!

[Darth Vapor]

YAY! Let's all talk about how much we are different from each other, and how much we hate each other!

[bong_man]

i would tell him to lay off and stop telling people his dad is god and his mom is a virgin.

LMFAO! brilliant :rastasmoke:

[hateyoul3itch]

the religion he started doesnt prohibit everything good.
and i would love to smoke with him

[Skink]

I don't understand,,,Jesus is here...

[S.P.Q.R.]

I hate Jesus...

[WhereDaBudAt]

well i would smoke with Jesus :hippy:

[sam44]

i bet jesus was a cool dude, but his teachings got fucked up over the years

[beachguy in thongs]

I thought Ivan DeJesus was a reliable shortstop.

[geonagual]

I would getting him so stoned..and then grill him for answers and find out the truth.

[Reefer Rogue]

I'd smoke him up

[beachguy in thongs]

Jesus is the son of God, or all life, or cannabis, meaning that he is part Cannabis. Those Romans smoked him!!!

[Juggnoxalo]

Jesus is the son of God, or all life, or cannabis, meaning that he is part Cannabis. Those Romans smoked him!!!Also meaning that he created cannabis. Without jesus and the creation of this plant the world would of already been destroyed.

I'd smoke a bowl. Who wouldn't smoke a bowl with the guy who invented marijuana?

[LIP]

Yeap, i'd definatly have to pass him the joint. I wonder what his favourite strain is?

[Nation_1ne]

I think it's pretty harsh that people can actually say they'd beat him up or hate him. How can you hate someone you don't even know? So what if he's a religious icon? Would you beat up a Buddhist monk? Just because some people are religious nuts doesn't mean you have the right to judge every person who is involved in that religion.

I'd love to smoke with Jesus, but I just can't imagine him smoking it lol.

[PureEvil760]

Id probably be like hey you know how you made bread appear and water into wine? well make some BOMB ASS BUD materialize sonnnnn.

[Nailhead]

Jesus never preached against cannabis, in fact he brought back some good stuff like bacon :D

And what are you guys talking about passing him a joint? Fuck that, I wanna smoke what he's got. If he can make wine from water just imagine the bud he can make at the flick of a finger.....

[2600HERTZ]

Thank him for the gifts he has given me, and if he were interested offer him my whole stash and hope hed smoke it with me.

I am with nailhead.

[rebgirl420]

^ hahaha really, whens the last time a Budhist came knocking on your door with pamphlets like those Jehova Witness nut jobs. Next time im answering the door naked.

[IanCurtisWishlist]

if jesus were physically walking the earth these days he would probably be arrested and tried as a political prisoner--which is what most likely happened if he indeed lived on this earth and was crucified by romans almost 2000 years ago.

he would also (hopefully) criticize the shit out of the way people live, their religion christianity.... he did this with judaism which was why the rabbinical authorities frowned upon "yeshua" (that's hebrew for jesus). he was questioned for supposedly picking grain on the sabbath. so let's hope that if jesus comes back he starts a huge political uproar like he did when the romans were occupying jerusalem.

[rebgirl420]

^ I dunno I bet everyone would just look at him as crazy. I know that theres plenty of homeless people in downtown Pittsbugh screaming that their Jesus.

[rebgirl420]

haha well shouldnt they be god fearing? And isnt sexual thoughts a sin?

[MajMike]

I think the folks here who 'hate' Jesus probably really hate what has been done to Him and His teachings the last two millenia.

His message was LOVE, and that was His only Commandment to us: "love thy neighbor as thyself". That includes stoners, gays, convicts, immigrants, everybody.

So when we speak of Jesus we have to define who we are talking about, the real Jesus of Nazareth or the man-made caricature of Him worshipped today.

If we all really lived His way the world would be a lot cooler place.

[4twentE]

Id probably be like hey you know how you made bread appear and water into wine? well make some BOMB ASS BUD materialize sonnnnn.

Helly yeah! turn lawn grass into funny grass. Then once he got high, I'd try and talk him into telling the Christians they're wrong and starting a more humanitarian religion.

[Kid Dynamite]

I think if Jesus were here today he'd be most disappointed.

[couch-potato]

I'd hold him prisoner. Imagine the entire Christian population watching in horror
as I blow smoke into his face proclaiming "THE DUDE LIKES IT! LEGALIZE OR WATCH HIM GET NAILED AGAIN!"

[mesoto]

If jesus comes back, I'll crucify him again. Just kidding, he's probably a chill and loving guy that I could learn a lot from, I'd get him stoned and buy him a hoe. He ought to need one. The 2000 Year Old Virgin.

[Gatekeeper777]

And isnt sexual thoughts a sin?


And it is written, if you have lusted with your heart you have also lusted with your soul... aka you are just as guilty as actually doing it.
thats only human.

so if your goona burn for thinking about it, ya might as well make it worth your while.
:rastasmoke::stoned::hippy::thumbsup:

[Brett1038]

And it is written, if you have lusted with your heart you have also lusted with your soul... aka you are just as guilty as actually doing it.
thats only human.

so if your goona burn for thinking about it, ya might as well make it worth your while.
:rastasmoke::stoned::hippy::thumbsup:

lmao :D

yeah, i think jesus was just about love and peace like alot of people on here

can we all just get along? :hippy:

[eg420ne]

I smoke with Jesus on the weekends, whens he's not working on them watermelon patches.........

[Oh My High]

One of my favorite moments in college:

Professor: The final exam will have 50 questions.
Student (in the far back): Jesus Christ!
Professor: ...ain't here.

:D

I'd smoke a bowl or three with him. I'd already be stoned because, since he probably never even existed, he'd be just a hallucination. So, by the time I sobered up to beat his ass, he'd had vanished, a figment of my imagination.

[Nochowderforyou]

If jesus were here would you....


Smoke a bowl or two with him

OR


Beat the living shit out of him for starting a religion that forbids all the good stuff?

To me, jesus didn't start religion, neither did god...humans created religion. The bible was never meant to be taken literally. It was meant to used as a guide to respecting, and how to treat your fellow human being. Perhaps god doesn't want people to worship him.

All in all, if jesus is/was a real person, I would stone him to death, with big rocks, just for fun.

[STIMPY21]

I'd offer him a smoke, wash his feet and ask him to bless us all and especially my horticultural endeavors.
STIMPY21

[LIP]

To me, jesus didn't start religion, neither did god...humans created religion. The bible was never meant to be taken literally. It was meant to used as a guide to respecting, and how to treat your fellow human being. Perhaps god doesn't want people to worship him.

All in all, if jesus is/was a real person, I would stone him to death, with big rocks, just for fun.

THAT could be very very true.

IF there was such a thing as God, he might NOT want us to worship him. If heaven and hell was real, maybe it'd be the ones who didnt worship who got into heaven.

Concidering he's never shown himself, he's pretty modest so i wouldnt have thought he'd like it.

[orange floyd]

If jesus comes back, I'll crucify him again. Just kidding, he's probably a chill and loving guy that I could learn a lot from, I'd get him stoned and buy him a hoe. He ought to need one. The 2000 Year Old Virgin.

that was fucking great

[MajMike]

I think Jesus was here as Immanuel (God with us) to have a fully human experience, and while I claim no proof (unlike Dan Brown) it would not astonish me to find that Jesus was married.

If He is really omniscient how can He not know that the experience of romantic love? To me if this were true it does not diminish Him in any way, but of course many disagree and would call this blasphemous.

Maybe we'll find out in the next life.

[slipknotpsycho]

why is it only real athiests ever seem to know he didn't create it???

[bong_man]

Next time im answering the door naked.

Im converting! :wtf:

[Pass That Shit]

Yea really, I've heard so many call Jesus their lord, but isn't that blasphemy to have a lord other than God in catholicism/christianity? :what:

Jesus is God. That's why I say Jesus is LORD.

Some of you guys are brutal. You want to stone Jesus to death with big rocks just for fun? Why is he so offensive to you?
How would you feel if someone did that to someone close to you just for fun?

[LIP]

Lets look at this realisticly.

How many times has jesus been killed? Can he be killed anymore?

How many times will he sit there and sacrifice himself - im sure he's tired of it.

Maybe when those stones start flying he'll loose it and kill YOU lot.

Jesus is a loose cannon, dont fuck with him.

He'll send a lightning bolt right up your arse.

[slipknotpsycho]

Jesus is God. That's why I say Jesus is LORD.

Some of you guys are brutal. You want to stone Jesus to death with big rocks just for fun? Why is he so offensive to you?
How would you feel if someone did that to someone close to you just for fun?

jesus is the son of god.... NOT god... :wtf:

but that's not what i meant anyways... christianity was around before jesus was even born... noah's ark... moses... etc

not that i believe any of that, i'm just going by that book.

[MajMike]

Jesus is both God and the Son of God, as well as the Holy Ghost, that is the crux of the Trinity doctrine (which I do not believe, btw).

So, 95% of Christians would disagree with your statement.

Also, by definition, Christianity was not around 'before Jesus'. How could something named for Him preexist Him (or at least His time here on Earth, I know He is eternal)?

[jdmarcus59]

^ hahaha really, whens the last time a Budhist came knocking on your door with pamphlets like those Jehova Witness nut jobs. Next time im answering the door naked.

ha ha, oh yea that will work lol.:)

[bhouncy]

Jesus is in fact a time traveler much like Doctor Who. I hear he has a bong made out of Dalek parts.

[GetDown]

speaking as a jew, if my brother jesus were here today, i would love to have a chat with him, hell that boy was deep, if he smoked id smoke with him, if he didnt id smoke by myself then talk to him, got a few questions id like to ask him,

[Oh My High]

Jesus is in fact a time traveler much like Doctor Who. I hear he has a bong made out of Dalek parts.
So that's why I found a sonic screwdriver...

[SeaWeed005]

there would be no anger or threat to Jesus on my part, why? He is full of love.
I would love our chat as I'm cleaning and rolling a joint, then in all respect I'd offer Him.. if He didnt accept it. I'd smile and knowing He wouldnt say I could'nt.. I'd fire it up.. thanking Him as I exhaled..

Love God, love one another.