Top 10 things a guy should never do

[13t]

10- Wear spandex

9- Use a wallet that is fastened with velcro

8- Wear make-up

7-Don't gesture over shoulder height... it just looks gay

6- Curl your eye lashes... yes I've seen it happen.. sad I know

5- Sleep with your g/f sister... tempting... but still bad idea

4- Snort whasabi

3- Blast Jewel while driving down the Cosway

2- Watch chick flicks by yourself... or at all really

And the number 1 thing guys should never do!

1- Knit

excuse any spelling errors... I'm drunk.. yes it's only 1 in the nooon... it's been a long day :D

[couch-potato]

This guy I like.

[ericwt]

Please add "Get Married" to your list.

Trust me on this.

[Greenport]

lmfao its true too!

[Nightcrewman]

Please add
"Don't scratch your arse with a broken bottle"

Cheers

NCM

[Staurm]

Number 9-

I shouldn't carry a wallet, period! I just lose them. As it happens though I have a new velcro one to replace my old nice leather one I got for Xmas, and I've not lost it yet! I think it's because I keep my hash pipe in it. Anything rlse like credit cards, drivers licences and money aren't as important.

[13t]

Please add "Get Married" to your list.

Trust me on this


Please add
"Don't scratch your arse with a broken bottle"


Thats rule #11 and #12... perhaps I should make a top 100

[Reefer Rogue]

Good shit, i don't do any of that.

[MFer]

Regardless of what these rules say

Mean Girls always has been, and always will be one of the greatest movies.

[Psycho4Bud]

5- Sleep with your g/f sister... tempting... but still bad idea

What IF their twins and cool with it?

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[mrdevious]

1- Knit




And you made this number one? Sorry, but I gotta call bullshit. This is just a cultural stereotype that certain people hold, the Viking men were all about the knitting and they were badass:thumbsup:

[Staurm]

I wonder if anyone has ever slept with their partners twin, and neither them or their partner have ever realised it happened?

[katyowns]

whats wrong with "looking" gay? And I think you're just pissed that some guys who wear makeup look better than you.

No offence but thats a stupid list, and reeks of typical macho bullshit.

[greenvoodoo]

I thought women wanted us to be sensitive

[delusionsofNORMALity]

out of your list i have managed to break half of the rules and i really don't feel like any less of a man. soon i'll have broken six of your rules. i never even thought about snorting wasabi, but as soon as i can get to the store i'm going to give it a try. what the hell, you only live twice.

[BizzleLuvin]

wait...am i the only one that finds some of this sexist? if a guy wants to gesticulate above shoulder height or listen to jewel, it doesnt make him less of a man. it may make his shallow friends think so, but for the most part really only thing that makes a man less of a man is a vagina. please, lets not stoop to this level. i understand your are trying to be funny, but i'm tired of gender expectations

[katyowns]

wait...am i the only one that finds some of this sexist? if a guy wants to gesticulate above shoulder height or listen to jewel, it doesnt make him less of a man. it may make his shallow friends think so, but for the most part really only thing that makes a man less of a man is a vagina. please, lets not stoop to this level. i understand your are trying to be funny, but i'm tired of gender expectations


I agree completely

But hey, I'm just a girl, I should be in the kitchen fixin' my man dinner or something right?

[greenvoodoo]

I agree completely

But hey, I'm just a girl, I should be in the kitchen fixin' my man dinner or something right?


what is this

some kind of joke?

[katyowns]

I've been known to kid

[delusionsofNORMALity]

But hey, I'm just a girl, I should be in the kitchen fixin' my man dinner or something right?

barefoot and pregnant, speak only when spoken to, the kitchen and the bedroom, walk three paces behind your man etc. pick a stereotype and go with it.:S2:

[ericwt]

I now suspect this thread will get nuked or locked.

So the question is:

Should I let it ride and watch the fireworks?

Or

Should I pour gasoline on the fire?

That is a tough one...

[BizzleLuvin]

I agree completely

But hey, I'm just a girl, I should be in the kitchen fixin' my man dinner or something right?

hey babe, i'm a girl too. and im glad i dont have to be in the kitchen. i think its time however that we stop expecting our dudes to be on the football field. my guy cooks for me all the time and he most certainly is a man

[Its a Plant]

While I see where the girls are coming from, I also see it mainly as a light-hearted joke intended for men....That whole "what a real man should be" type thing like those Miller Lite Man Laws, with no real harm intended..

That said, the list is sub par at best lol....Number one is knitting?! E Gads sober up man. :jointsmile:

[BizzleLuvin]

also, can we please nuke this thread?

[geonagual]

I like to cook and clean...
I have also sewed on many occasions..
but I hate chick flicks...too sappy for my taste

[katyowns]

hey babe, i'm a girl too. and im glad i dont have to be in the kitchen. i think its time however that we stop expecting our dudes to be on the football field. my guy cooks for me all the time and he most certainly is a man


I already said I agreed with you. I mainly cook for my bf cause he can't cook anything but hot dogs, ick. I just hate guys who act like the WORST thing that could possibly happen is someone maybe thinking they're gay, even just a tiny bit.

[Skink]

11. Piss into the wind...

[geonagual]

LOL lighten up kids.

Where's your sense of humor?

Sorry.

This is serious business..

SOMEONE MUST DIE!

[BUZz UK]

And you made this number one? Sorry, but I gotta call bullshit. This is just a cultural stereotype that certain people hold, the Viking men were all about the knitting and they were badass:thumbsup:

"ten four, we have a knitter"

[Dest]

My friend joined the knitting club at his school and he got laid because of it lol.

[Stellar]

Why wear makeup?

The one thing that seperates us from woman is that we dont get ourselves up like rembrandt just took a brush to us.

We are what god gave us, no paint.

I had to wear spandex for football, though. Albiet, many years ago.

[Matt the Funk]

Maybe one of those should be taking ballet....

[LuckyG]

13 - Don't shave your package.

[cannabis=freedom]

lol I've also broken 5 of them.

Wow, my next post will be my 420th...I must wait until I'm high to post again, then.

[Eazy]

numba ?? (velcro wallets kick ass wit pac on it)
erm oh yer
let a 15 yr old kid screw ur love life up wit out handin a beat down out, see a new chick then get stuck on wtf to do 2 make it bk 2 how it was.
and number +1
tell a girl u love her

NEVER DO THAT

[jdub61]

another rule:
for no reason should a man ever be under an umbrella with another man. this is one case when sharing is not cool.

[Eazy]

jd, yes very tru
and nor shuld u be under ur gurls

they are short pointy bits at eye level!!!!

[slowlickitysplit]

[quote=geonagual]I like to cook and clean...
I have also sewed on many occasions..
but I hate chick flicks...too sappy for my taste[/QUote}

My girl likes me to cook and clean also...specaily when I wear the flowered apron and nothing else!:D

By the way, I believe it was Rosie greer, the bad ass football player who used to knit on the bus rides as a way to relax....and a lot of them did balete for agility.

Oh..and I can't believe that some of the women on here are taking this so seriously. You all want us to be sensative, well, howabout a little sensativity to our needs to joke around about masculinity???

- Slow -

[Melkane]

What's considered "chick flicks"? Titanic? If so I so break that rule all the time. Hell Titanic is one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time and Leonardo DiCaprio is my all time favorite actor.

Yeah thats right.

[delusionsofNORMALity]

real men don't use straws.

this has got to be on the list somewhere.

[birdgirl73]

Maybe I'm strange, but I don't see this thread as something that needs nuking, either.

I would fall on my knees and cry with gratitude if my husband even cooked or cleaned. He'll grill things, but rarely anything more than that. I'd proudly announce that my son cooked supper last night, but we had tacos, so basically all he did was brown some meat. I have more work to do with him. . . .

Rosie Greer did needlepoint instead of knitting, Slow!

My husband is skilled at suturing and, once when I was learning how to do embroidery, I was struggling to do some sort of decorative knot and handed the hoop and canvas over to him. He said, "Oh, heck yeah, that's basically like a little purse-knot suture," and he did it, perfectly. With much patience, he taught me how, too.

[13t]

apparently my sarcasm was missed .........

[jdub61]

What's considered "chick flicks"? Titanic? If so I so break that rule all the time. Hell Titanic is one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time and Leonardo DiCaprio is my all time favorite actor.

Yeah thats right.

i think that since Titanic, Dicaprio's acted really well in some movies, but come on, the acting in Titanic was awful...

summary of titanic:
"jack!"
"rose!"
"jack!"
"oh rose!"
"jack! jack!"
"rose!"
"jack!"
"jack i'll never let go!"
*she lets go*
*the end*

[napolitana869]

I'm a chick and I hate chick flicks

[Psycho4Bud]

I would fall on my knees and cry with gratitude if my husband even cooked or cleaned. .

We would LOVE to help more with the cooking and cleaning but its a matter of ergonomics. You'll notice how much smaller a broom/mop handle is compared to a shovel, ax.......that's because it's made for smaller hands. Same with pots, pans, cooking utensils....more ergonomically correct for smaller hands.

We'd love to help but with the fear of carpal tunnel syndrome and the effects that would have upon our loving family prevents us from doing such things. :D


Gas on the fire.......exit stage right>>>>>>>>>>>

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[Light It Up]

self-castration comes to mind...

[Jderringer]

I'm a guy, and I've been a hellofalot better cook than any girl I've ever been with. I also had a time in my life when I used to get a monthly facial and a manicure every other week, but no-one has EVER called me anything less than a man for having done that... Might have something to do with the fact I'm 6', 300 hundred pounds, and all my friends say I look like a serial killer.

[jdub61]

^ya there's a nail joint located on my college's campus, and my girlfriend says it's pretty common for her to see athletes gettin pedicures/manicures there, like big muscular guys.

[13t]

thats why facial is not on the list...... i mean if u want to wear make up....to cover wateva is on ur face... why not go tanning instead?

[big smoke07]

Take it in the ass.

[aardvark]

Whenever in a busy public restroom, never, ever look side to side while at the urinal. Step up, unzip, do business while looking straight at the wall, put in and rezip.

[birdgirl73]

We would LOVE to help more with the cooking and cleaning but its a matter of ergonomics. You'll notice how much smaller a broom/mop handle is compared to a shovel, ax.......that's because it's made for smaller hands. Same with pots, pans, cooking utensils....more ergonomically correct for smaller hands.

We'd love to help but with the fear of carpal tunnel syndrome and the effects that would have upon our loving family prevents us from doing such things. :D


Gas on the fire.......exit stage right>>>>>>>>>>>

Have a good one!:jointsmile:
Yeah, right. Nice try. Anyone with the skills to use hand tools to work on hospital equipment, motorcycles and other machinery, or cultivate and nuture plants is ergonomically equipped to cook and clean. Same with Dave. If the guy can stand up for 12 hours and thread tiny catheters and stents into people, handle scalpels, forceps and needles--and all that while wearing plastic gloves, scrubs and a mask--he's capable of cooking a meal or cleaning up the kitchen or bathroom. I know a conscious choice when I see one!

I'm actually not complaining. I'm glad he takes care of the cars and oversees the yard stuff. I can cook faster and with less mess. It's a fair trade-off. But I am going to see that our son is a tad more developed in the domestic arts . . . .

[Jderringer]

^ya there's a nail joint located on my college's campus, and my girlfriend says it's pretty common for her to see athletes gettin pedicures/manicures there, like big muscular guys.

I was in sales when I got my manicures and facials... I just did it because I noticed men that I met who were successful, and didn't have to physically work too hard to get that way, had clear skin and well manicured hands for the most part. I was successful and didn't have to break my back getting that way, so I figured I should look the part. It positively affected my sales a small but noticeable amount.

[jdub61]

yeah, and another bit of urinal etiquette: don't use a urinal next to an already-occupied urinal...wait for one to open up instead...

[Psycho4Bud]

Yeah, right. Nice try. Anyone with the skills to use hand tools to work on hospital equipment, motorcycles and other machinery, or cultivate and nuture plants is ergonomically equipped to cook and clean. Same with Dave. If the guy can stand up for 12 hours and thread tiny catheters and stents into people, handle scalpels, forceps and needles--and all that while wearing plastic gloves, scrubs and a mask--he's capable of cooking a meal or cleaning up the kitchen or bathroom. I know a conscious choice when I see one!

I'm actually not complaining. I'm glad he takes care of the cars and oversees the yard stuff. I can cook faster and with less mess. It's a fair trade-off. But I am going to see that our son is a tad more developed in the domestic arts . . . .

I'm workin' here for ya Dave.....help a brother out! LOL

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

[ericwt]

I am actually glad this thread did not get nuked.

What is the logic about Velcro on wallets? Please explain.

Just curious.

[Dave Byrd]

I'm workin' here for ya Dave.....help a brother out! LOL

Have a good one!:jointsmile:
Not entirely sure what point she was trying to make. Birdie hires someone else to clean the house, just like I pay a lawn crew and let someone else deal with the cars. Everytime I try to cook inside, I set the smoke alarms off. Plus, I figure I spent enough time in school that I can get a break on bathroom cleaning. That's her reasoning why she doesn't clean 'em.

Nice try, there, P4B.

[stinkyattic]

No offence but thats a stupid list, and reeks of typical macho bullshit.

f'real. Don't you have something more productive to do?

[Nightcrewman]

Posted by jdub61
"yeah, and another bit of urinal etiquette: don't use a urinal next to an already-occupied urinal...wait for one to open up instead..."

Yeah and I'm gonna piss myself just for the sake of etiquette :D


Cheers
NCM

[Purple Banana]

My guy skips/hops/twirls around when he's bored- doesn't make him any less of a man, it just makes him more fun to be around :D

Funny list, though :D

[Turtlepik]

Knit one, perl one, drop one, perl one.

[Skink]

Knit one, perl one, drop one, perl one.

I did a needle point once...

[BigHyphyD]

My wallet is fastened by velcrow.


So what????




My favorite wallet.

[higher4hockey]

hey bizzle~ what would be sexier, clint eastwood and/or john wayne cooking you dinner.... OR two guys from queer eye for the straight guy cooking you dinner.

i agree that the whole gender thing is a little outdated, but a mans man is something that i'll always try to be. i'll trade my carharts and my snap-on tools for yarn when hell freezes over.

[rebgirl420]

This reminds me of those budweiser real men of genious commercials!

[Turtlepik]

o
I did a needle point once...

I still knit ocassionally. I can only do scarves, but they're useful for strangling intruders.

[pass_the_dubbie]

Snort whasabi

WHAT?!!
How can you possibly expect any normal person not to snort whasabi...I would have been more surprised if you said to eat it..
whassssssssabi

[FreeVenice]

Sand Blast a wall naked. . . .

[Frivolous248]

7-Don't gesture over shoulder height... it just looks gay

Um, wtf.

[geonagual]

What if I clear coat my Fingernails and Toenails...is that considered infeminite(sp?). HAHA

[Demeter]

Number One thing a guy should never do- hold in his emotions for fear of what society thinks of him. There is nothing cooler than a man who acts like a human instead of a stereotype!:s2:

[stinkyattic]

geo im sorry but i have to say i prefer a guy who allows his toenails to stay dirty to the point of fungus, because if he ever cleans them it means he's gay, and that just means divorce and misery down the road when he realizes that he likes men.
on the other hand, the guy with toenail fungus will stay with me forever, even if it IS because he has such bad foot stank that no other woman will come within 40 feet of his um feet.. yeah... :wtf:

[WalkaWalka]

watching chick flicks by yourself should remain on there. They are mental terrorism by yourself. But they are bonding time with your gf gf's mom sister ect.

[delusionsofNORMALity]

a man should never fry anything while naked. actually, no one should ever do it, but for men it can be deadly.

[GHoSToKeR]

a man should never fry anything while naked. actually, no one should ever do it, but for men it can be deadly.

Yeah that's a lesson you only need to learn once, but I think everyone should try it for the sake of, I dunno, comedy?

Anyway, fuck this shit, my wallet has velcro on it. So what? lol

[geonagual]

a man should never fry anything while naked. actually, no one should ever do it, but for men it can be deadly.

especially bacon...yaaaaaaaaaaouch!

[mfqr]

11 - Masturbate without lotion.

[slowlickitysplit]

call new g/f by old g/f's name (Unless it's durring bronco sex!)

- Slow -

[slowlickitysplit]

My guy skips/hops/twirls around when he's bored- doesn't make him any less of a man, it just makes him more fun to be around :D

Funny list, though :D

Sorry Banana...He's GAY!

Opinions guys?

- Slow -

[Pylon]

There is a hell of alot worse things a guys should nvr do imo LoL :smokin:

[Pylon]

11 - Masturbate without lotion.

Going dry isnt THAT bad... :wtf:

[zino11]

some chic flics are actually good and im far from gay

[zino11]

and never smoke a cig or L naked

[anomalousirrelivance]

a man should never fry anything while naked. actually, no one should ever do it, but for men it can be deadly.

this man obviously knows his shit.



and any man who doesn't know how to knit isn't a man..


i should post up a picture of the rainbow and purple colored scarf that i've been working on for the past.....lessee......13-14 years.

its wicked stylish.

and no i am absolutely not joking, don't make me find it and post pictures :)


i also tried to learn how to crochet. which was much more confusing.......not my forte.



never the less i have mastered your list plenty of times, except for sleeping with my gfs sister because the ones that had sisters well lets just say i was with the acceptable one as it was. all the rest did have sisters. do best friends count?

oops, never had a velcro wallet either. forgot that one.

[anomalousirrelivance]

and in my defense, the makeup and everything related was done by a girl when i was under 10 years old and was followed by getting under the cover and showing each other our stuff as was the rage when we were all youngin's

[khanser]

Gad damn emo. Maby its maybelline.

[Veratyr Star]

It's alright if girls do #4 tho. Just not guys

[Jah420]

Another one.. a guy should always have both male and female friends.. I know of 2 guys who hang out exclusively with chicks.. and tbh I don't think there's any intention of anything more than friendship there either.. its just abit wierd.

[LIP]

jd, yes very tru
and nor shuld u be under ur gurls

they are short pointy bits at eye level!!!!

Too right. The amount of times i've been poked in the eye is rediculous. I'd rather get so wet i drowned than share an umbrella.