The Cheeseburger Conspiracy

[ericwt]

Some people here might think that I am anti American. That is not true I love my country and it breaks my heart to see what it is becoming.

First a disclaimer the truth will piss you off and there is nothing you can do about all of this. I am leaving the USA and I advise all other people to do the same. This cheeseburger shit is at the core of everything.

I realized the truth in its entirety today. I ironically noticed this the first time when I was a kid. But the depth of what happened did not occur to me until today.

Please understand the core of me is a Capitalist. I will always be a Capitalist as well as a budding super villain. But the point of this is to explain that in my version of Capitalism you give the customer what they want. I have narrowed down when the Cheeseburger plot happened and will tell you when it happened soon.

But lets reflect back to days when the "Politically Correct" way was not around. When my dad whipped me there we no abuse hotlines for me to call saying "my daddy gave me a spanking!"

When did this happen?

Near as I can tell it had to be toward the last of the Ford Administration. It was probably started before that by Nixon and it took a while to trickle down to the masses. But I was to young to remember that. I was born in 1966.

But I remember a day when you could go to McDonalds and order a quarter ponder. They would ask you if you wanted cheese on it. You had a choice and a quarter ponder was actually cheaper that one with cheese on it.

What I am saying is you had a choice back then. Both the quarter ponder and the quarter ponder with cheese were on the menu.

Somewhere right as Carter was being sworn in as President everything changed. Suddenly without notice or explanation the menu changed and you were not given a choice. O sure you could bitch and request one without cheese but it would take longer and you were still charged the same amount of a quarter ponder with cheese.

No one but me noticed this when it happened. But alas, I was just a kid and did not know any better.

When this happened the corporate powers that be figured out that if McD could shove there preprocessed American Cheese down the stomachs of America, they too could get away with giving the American people crappy products and horrible customer service. They were right we lined up like cattle to be spoon Fed the corporate crap they so generously threw at us. We would be good little drones and take what they were willing to give us.

Soon after that Sam Walton opened up his first store. Couincidence? Ha! I think not!

I took me until today to figure out this plot. I had to order a quarter ponder WITHOUT cheese to some foreign guy who did not understand me. He gave me the dam thing with cheese on it! It pissed me off! I had to scrape the shit off, and it STILL TASTED LIKE SHIT!

But alas, I am wise to them and now you are to.

I know my life is in danger now but at least I shared what I knew with you before the Mc Syndicate gets me.

Enjoy your meal!

[TheAtomicPunk]

...I don't eat McDonald's anyways. I feel I've completely missed the point of this though... *Unsatisfied*

[4gan2ja0]

samwhore wont be pleased, she loves cheezeburgerz

[Matt the Funk]

I couldn't tell if you were serious or not....I sensed a lot of sarcams, but some seriousness....

[fishman3811]

MCdick is everywhere dude you cant escape the quarter pounder with cheese

[40oz]

thats the kind of psychotic conspiracy theory shit that should be on the front page of every newspaper in the country.

[Turtlepik]

Who the fuck doesn't like cheese?

[B.Basher]

Yeah, what you sayin' bout cheese bruv?

I'm a little lost though. I was waiting for the cheeseburger conspiracy to manifest itself as a metaphor for some socio-political criticism. In the end... uhh... well I guess you could always try another restaurant that does... you know... that does cheeseburgers without cheese for a cheaper price.

Man, i'm confused.

[ericwt]

In the end this little rant was about the corporate powers taking away our choices and telling us what we want as opposed to asking us what we want.

I rarely eat at McD's, maybe once a year. After my last experience I will no longer go there. It was not my first choice but I was in a hurry.

This is not a rant about cheeseburgers. I support anyone's right to like cheeseburgers. I like them myself if they are with Cheddar cheese and not fake American cheese.

The point is they stopped caring about what you want.

Is this post serious or sarcastic or simply paranoid? Yes.

Perhaps it was the poisons of that revolting quarter ponder going into my bloodstream (and arteries) that cased this post.

Maybe I was saying you can find conspiracy anywhere if you look for it. Naw, that couldn't be.

But it is a sad world when others decide for us what we want to choose.

[Nocturnal Stoner]

Eric is your avatar from human traffic?

[ericwt]

I am not sure. I "borrowed" it from another forum website.

[Frickr]

the only time i see mcdonalds is when i travel to the city, other then that, we got just the local shops, and if you dont say cheeseburger, you get a big hamburger with no cheese, and you order what you want on it.. i guess thats what im use to... so people still do have choices, they just arent in the mainstream all the time. if people want something, there is someplace that will do it. whether it be name brand, or some local shop, you still get what you are wanting

[midlifecrisis]

It's all Bush's fault!!!!

[onequickmove]

eh, well ehhh.... i'll go with "they're feeding us crap and we're asking for more"


be wise, don't be taken in by popular opinion, and when it comes to food, local is good......... :)

even though your analogy doesn't really do it for me, i get what you're frustrated with, and i'm frustrated much with the same............so i go to IN N OUT :) :) :)


but yeah, i understand

[onequickmove]

also: if you want something to really be pissed about; take a look at the loss of biological diversity, GMO's and all that nonsense; it's insane and frightening

my beloved country, norway, is actually building a seed "vault" up near the north poll to keep genetics in tact

[ericwt]

also: if you want something to really be pissed about; take a look at the loss of biological diversity, GMO's and all that nonsense; it's insane and frightening


Yes I suppose you are right.

But just what is that American Cheese that McD's uses made of?

It must be some alien spore that they are growing in a lab somewhere.

Genetically modified stuff sucks too, though.

[afghooey]

Nothing's about quality these days, sadly enough. Once upon a time, people couldn't get away with selling people cheap, low-quality crap unless they were totally fly-by-night... now it seems that quality is getting harder and harder to come by.

I blame advertising. If businesses had to survive by word-of-mouth reputation, quality would be all-important.

[Turtlepik]

But just what is that American Cheese that McD's uses made of?

It must be some alien spore that they are growing in a lab somewhere.



I'm not sure what you have in America, but in the UK we have a strange cheese substitute called "Cheddar".

[Weedhound]

I think erwict is absolutely correct....it sneaks in....that stuff they call cheese is really glue anyway so don't bother trying to scrape it off erwict.

what's really happening is that every glue burger you eat sticks to the side of your intestines....eventually they will be blocked off and you will die....the stuff hardens inside too.

It' a huge murder plot....they do speak english erwict, they just pretend they don't so they can make sure to get the glue on your burger. ;)

[ericwt]

Okay let me try to put another spin on this one.

Since about 1975 when they eliminated the hamburger on the menu.(that is just a guess give or take a few years).

How many billion have they bilked from Hamburger eaters that did not want that slimey American cheese on their burger?

Remember they charge everyone the cheeseburger price, even if it is not a cheeseburger.

By eliminating the option to order a hamburger at 10 cents less they added billions to their bottom line by giving less to the people who thought their revolting cheese sucked the big one.

"Lets screw the hamburger eaters!" and they did and we bought it hook, line and sinker!

No one complained. There were no protest. No one wrote Mc D corporate headquarters. No letters to the editor.

They knew we were their Bitch! So did the other corporations. We just bent over and took it up the ass.

We are still doing it today.

[Weedhound]

No one complained because those people are DEAD! Don't you see....the glue is the antidote because without it.....anyone who tries to eat one without "cheese" will die a horrible agonizing death.....this is why you don't hear from the "those" people...All in the name of the almighty $0.10. Its FRIGHTENING! :eek:

You've heard of soylent green haven't you? This is soylent ugly yellow/orange. :wtf:

[skatin_foo15]

what? Either you smoke too much weed, or i dont smoke enough cause that made no sense haha!

[ericwt]

No one complained because those people are DEAD! Don't you see....the glue is the antidote because without it.....anyone who tries to eat one without "cheese" will die a horrible agonizing death.....this is why you don't hear from the "those" people...All in the name of the almighty $0.10. Its FRIGHTENING! :eek:

You've heard of soylent green haven't you? This is soylent ugly yellow/orange. :wtf:


I have considered your theory... and although it does have the good scare factor that several conspiracies have.. I am afraid I just can't buy it.

You see on occasions I have gotten the foreigner or high school student behind the counter to understand the fact that I actually do not want cheese on my quarter ponder with cheese sandwich.

On these occasions after some confused looks and asking the manager how to ring it up, I have actually gotten what I want. (Amazing!)

So I have consumed the quarter ponder without cheese without dropping over dead.

So for me to buy your theory please resubmit your conspiracy and explain why I survived for over 20 years without the antidote.

I really hope you can do it because your theory is more scary than mine is and fear sells in the conspiracy world.

It is all about marketing

[Weedhound]

Then....you must be......ONE OF THEM!! :eek: :eek:

[ericwt]

Hmmmm. But how do I know you are not one of them that's trying make me think that I am one of them.

I see your plan now!

Are you from the McSyndicate?

[ericwt]

And just how mr. weedhound, Did you know about the antidote!

Ha!

The only way you would know about it, assuming it is true is if you were one of them!

[ericwt]

You are just going to have to try harder.

You almost fooled me.

You are good though!

[40oz]

looks like your just talking to yourself now eric.

not a good sign, maybe you are with them.

[ericwt]

They are listening.

[40oz]

creepy

[Weedhound]

They ARE. Those who cannot hear have cheese glue in their ears.... I know about the antidote because I carry a piece of this secret cheese glue everywhere I go. When they try to slip me a non-cheesed burger I slap on my own...They try it once every ten years or so...you must have lost yours at some point and they got you while you weren't looking. I'm so sorry. :(

[ericwt]

I just want my 10 cents back. 20+ years of 10 cents. I want choices.

That is all.

Is that so hard to understand people?

[ericwt]

Prologue to The Cheeseburger conspiracy.

You can find conspiracy everywhere if you look.

There are monsters and secret governments everywhere you look.

Sometimes these theories can become outlandish and ridiculous. But if you look beyond that sometimes there is something there.

Beyond the crazy thoughts and paranoia there might be a simple message.

It may not be the boogie man or the governments or the corporations.

It is often one person who sees an injustice in the world and he wants others to think about it.

It might be about people taking our rights away or it might be a lunatic that wants to order a hamburger without paying for the dam cheese that he does not want.

The conspiracies themselves are overblown and intricate. But they all are from people who want answers.

I love conspiracy's myself.

I wanted to take something that pissed me off and frame a story around it.

Ironically the story is true. But like all conspiracies things get complicated when you describe the theory to others.

Simply put it may not make a difference what McD's did. I don't have to go there and I won't.

But what they did was take choices away and made more money by doing it.

Perhaps this was not a big deal. But when they stop listening to the customer, it is a big deal. We all loose.

So I hope you enjoyed this little rant.

Weedhound: You the man. I tried to rep you but I can't right now.

Peace

[Weedhound]

I friggin' HATE it when they put that cheese stuff on my burger and usually it doesn't matter how many times you tell them.....I am definitely sympatico. :thumbsup:

[Weedhound]

Billion you didn't read it carefully....it's not cheese, it's glue. Go back and reread ALL my posts on this thread ...it will tell you all you need to know.... ;) :stoned:

[B.Basher]

So what is cheesestring?

[SyndicateJuggalos17]

not really a conspiracy just a small profit... i was hopin it was like america is fat on purpose or somethin funny like that but uhh i dont get this one

[SyndicateJuggalos17]

i guess anyway of ripping people off is a conspiracy tho (sorry late double post)

[Delta9 UK]

Great thread :thumbsup:

Makes a change from 911

[khanser]

Smoke some weed, Drink some drink, get your american dollas, and WATCH OUT FOR SLEEPER CELLS.

[ismokealldaylong420]

whats wrong with mcdonalds once in awhile though i do agree with leaving this country however there are mcdonalds just about every were now in iran iraq amsterdam europe and many other places there for i do not know what the hell you were talking about but it may becouse im high:):thumbsup::stoned::mad::cool::wtf:

[krazy chino]

pointless thread

[JD1stTimer]

I think it's a metaphor for all the choices we used to have which are now gone.