ionlylookinnocent
05-22-2007, 11:46 PM
Last week I found out that I had to take a pre-employment drug test (which is absurd since I've already been doing this job for years and am only going to be a "new" employee because of a funding switch). I've been a daily smoker for years, and although I quit as soon as I found out, I knew my chances of passing were slim to none. I looked into the products and dilution, but I felt like that was still leaving the door open for a failure. After reading N2s posts about substitution, I decided that would have to be the way to go, even though the idea made me incredibly nervous. My boyfriend was willing to give me his clean urine, and I experimented with water and a 2oz bottle to test storage and temperature. The practice helped, but I was still nervous (I'm just not very smooth, and once I get the jitters, they don't fade easily).
I collected my boyfriend's sample minutes before heading to the Quest Diagnostics site, stored it on my person (not to get graphic, but, ladies, if you must, that canal can serve a purpose), and went on my way. I stayed as calm as I possibly could, signed in, and minutes later, I was in the restroom alone. I gave the tester the cup, she held it up to look at the color, and from my experimentation I believe the temperature should have been fine. I was nervous, but it wasn't so bad. I think I totally pulled it off, but I'm trying not to get too cocky until I hear that all is well (boyfriend doesn't smoke, but I'm paranoid that there could be some kind of problem which will require me to retest). I was told the results would be given to my employer within 2 to 3 days, however human resources has already said that my paperwork can be processed. I'm still waiting to smoke (with baited breath-want to celebrate!!) until those 3 days have passed.
The funny thing is, after finding out that I was going to have this test and reading up on drug testing, I realized that this is such a violation of our civil rights. I vowed that I wouldn't just take the test, pass, and move on. If you see something wrong, you've got to try to change it, right? Anyway, not five minutes after leaving my test, someone from the ACLU is on the street asking me if I have a minute to listen to their policies and perhaps join. I joined on the spot and thanked her for doing what the rest of us are too lazy/busy/whatever to do.
What made me the most angry is the fact that someone could be a raging alcoholic or partake in any other drug and pass with two days notice at most. I see the point of testing anyone who is operating heavy machinery or dealing with people's health, but it only seems valid if they're tested at the point of service (i.e., I don't care if my doctor smokes when he's at home, but I don't want him stoned while s/he's examining me).
I apologize for the length of this post (thanks for your patience!), but I wanted to get a few points across: pre-employment at Quest is unobserved, substituting isn't that difficult but practice is advised, and drug testing for the purposes of a "safe" workplace is basically a sham. We should all be angry and looking into activism for all of our civil liberties, not just this one, because they're all being diminished.
I will reply to this post when I know I'm 100% in the clear. Thanks to all those who provided me with great advice through their posts on this board.
I collected my boyfriend's sample minutes before heading to the Quest Diagnostics site, stored it on my person (not to get graphic, but, ladies, if you must, that canal can serve a purpose), and went on my way. I stayed as calm as I possibly could, signed in, and minutes later, I was in the restroom alone. I gave the tester the cup, she held it up to look at the color, and from my experimentation I believe the temperature should have been fine. I was nervous, but it wasn't so bad. I think I totally pulled it off, but I'm trying not to get too cocky until I hear that all is well (boyfriend doesn't smoke, but I'm paranoid that there could be some kind of problem which will require me to retest). I was told the results would be given to my employer within 2 to 3 days, however human resources has already said that my paperwork can be processed. I'm still waiting to smoke (with baited breath-want to celebrate!!) until those 3 days have passed.
The funny thing is, after finding out that I was going to have this test and reading up on drug testing, I realized that this is such a violation of our civil rights. I vowed that I wouldn't just take the test, pass, and move on. If you see something wrong, you've got to try to change it, right? Anyway, not five minutes after leaving my test, someone from the ACLU is on the street asking me if I have a minute to listen to their policies and perhaps join. I joined on the spot and thanked her for doing what the rest of us are too lazy/busy/whatever to do.
What made me the most angry is the fact that someone could be a raging alcoholic or partake in any other drug and pass with two days notice at most. I see the point of testing anyone who is operating heavy machinery or dealing with people's health, but it only seems valid if they're tested at the point of service (i.e., I don't care if my doctor smokes when he's at home, but I don't want him stoned while s/he's examining me).
I apologize for the length of this post (thanks for your patience!), but I wanted to get a few points across: pre-employment at Quest is unobserved, substituting isn't that difficult but practice is advised, and drug testing for the purposes of a "safe" workplace is basically a sham. We should all be angry and looking into activism for all of our civil liberties, not just this one, because they're all being diminished.
I will reply to this post when I know I'm 100% in the clear. Thanks to all those who provided me with great advice through their posts on this board.