Shit that happens during sex

[cannabis campbell]

Just curious what are some of your biggest fuck ups lol

the most common one (well for me anyway) (when the girls on top of man if your gay lmao) and your cock slips out and just gets crushed.. ouch lmao

[thcbongman]

The biggest one I made was when I didn't fuck for a while, and in the middle of the session, it slipped out, and I busted a nut right in her eye! Double whammy. So embarassing!

[cannabis campbell]

LMFAO classic!! ^^^^^

[420MissHighTimes420]

I have 2 traumatic sex experiences that were BIG MISTAKES...
(and the top 2most embarassing moments of my life)
1. Having sex with a sociopath who I was in love with ... he videotapped it and showed it to everyone at school (I am still called 'Paris')
2.I didn't know I was going to get my period and I was fucking some guy I wasn't close with and half way through Aunt Flow decided to come and um yeah .... I still want to die when I think about it

[thcbongman]

On the bright side, you must be pretty hot, otherwise, they'd be laughing at the guy for passing it around!

[420MissHighTimes420]

On the bright side, you must be pretty hot, otherwise, they'd be laughing at the guy for passing it around!

Lol very true ... It was horrible because it really fucked with my head and I'm still ashamed ... but hell he got money from people wanting to see it :D Made me feel like I was hot but trash at the same time... which was stupid because having sex doesn't make someone trash ... only everyone thought I knew about the tape and I didn't (some people even thought I was the one trying to make money from it)... my parents knew about it before me because the school found out and suspended him

[Samwhore]

How about mother walking in.

[halfassedjediknight]

In high school i was having sex with a girl in the shower and my step dad came home and started banged on the bathroom door askin us what we were doing. it was kinda obvious i guess. whoops. :D

[BabyFacedAbortion]

Period thing happened to me too.. Ahh I still don't know if he ever found out. We was in a dark ass basement on a black couch >.> I hope he just thought he was "soooo big" he tore me.

My boy busted a nut in my armpit. Does that count? Hahaha, it was a few hours after I told him how much I HATE my armpits being touched too. Oopsie.

[JamaicanHerbMan]

Lol very true ... It was horrible because it really fucked with my head and I'm still ashamed ... but hell he got money from people wanting to see it :D Made me feel like I was hot but trash at the same time... which was stupid because having sex doesn't make someone trash ... only everyone thought I knew about the tape and I didn't (some people even thought I was the one trying to make money from it)... my parents knew about it before me because the school found out and suspended him

Yah that happens lots of times. Some guys always want to brag about banging a super hot chick. The good part for you is guys will only do that with hot chicks well if you didnt know, now you do.

Sex fuck up's not sure if this is one but its pretty close!!! This was with my first true love, but anyways were at a beach and desided to have sex in the water, and so we toke off our clothes and left them at the edge... the sex was great the best i ever had.... LOL but when we got back there was no clothes the tide came up and washed them away. Good thing it was during the night and my cars wasnt too far but we got called adam and eve a few times before we reached the car....hahaha ....good ole day...we saw them washed up on a rock bank a few weeks later.. But dont ever leave your stuff on the beach

[lazy smoker7]

yea i get the same thing when my dick gets crushed also every once in awhile.. haha i know how that feals... like my dick will still be hard but its in so much pain just after wards when i try to stick it back in it just hurts to bad lol and then i have to take a break lol

[Grade A]

How about going limp while being drunk. She then went on to tell one of my buddies about it and he called me out, but it even gets better... I had class with the chick the following day. Try looking a girl in the face after an experience like that. It's impossible. Since then I've decided sex and sobriety is better combination. All it would have taken was a little foreplay, but she wasn't into that shit. She just wanted to get hit. :wtf:

I think everyone gets hit with the bad aim fuck up AT LEAST once in there life time.

[rebgirl420]

hmmm I hate that sound of skin hitting skin....just freaks me out...

[LaidZeppelin]

there is always that time when your bangin a foxy lady and there is alittle to much air that gets in the way.....its so awkward hearing the farting sound during sex with someone you havent had sex with alot....also the dick crushing sux pretty bad!

[Ghettopops]

An old Girlfriend and I were going at it in my churches daycare play area and got busted by the Minister. To make it worse, she married my best friend 20yrs later in the same church and I was the best man, A little strange

[LIP]

Just curious what are some of your biggest fuck ups lol

the most common one (well for me anyway) (when the girls on top of man if your gay lmao) and your cock slips out and just gets crushed.. ouch lmao

Happened to me before, my ex bent me and my dick died for 2 days. Fuck it hurt like no other!

[AsianStoner420]

There's this girl that i had sex with couple times and one time when she's givin me a bj and im about to orgasm i felt this very sticky chunky warm feeling on my hips and then i looked down and i was like 'wtf?' she fucking throw up on my dick and it was fucking nasty,... one of the worst moments of my life,...

[LIP]

There's this girl that i had sex with couple times and one time when she's givin me a bj and im about to orgasm i felt this very sticky chunky warm feeling on my hips and then i looked down and i was like 'wtf?' she fucking throw up on my dick and it was fucking nasty,... one of the worst moments of my life,...

Oh man. Damn. :(

[cannabis campbell]

Happened to me before, my ex bent me and my dick died for 2 days. Fuck it hurt like no other!

ouch lmao thats probably the most common one


There's this girl that i had sex with couple times and one time when she's givin me a bj and im about to orgasm i felt this very sticky chunky warm feeling on my hips and then i looked down and i was like 'wtf?' she fucking throw up on my dick and it was fucking nasty,... one of the worst moments of my life,...

eurgh you should of pissed in her mouth to make it even lol

[rebgirl420]

There's this girl that i had sex with couple times and one time when she's givin me a bj and im about to orgasm i felt this very sticky chunky warm feeling on my hips and then i looked down and i was like 'wtf?' she fucking throw up on my dick and it was fucking nasty,... one of the worst moments of my life,...

ooohhhhhh no are you serious?! MY GOD!:(

[TallulahGreen]

My boyfriend and I were having some pretty drunken sex one night...and I puked all over the both of us...
..so he took me to the shower and washed my hair and stuff...hahahah.

[russ-bob]

Ok 2 things


1.Nut pankake (prety self explanitory)

2.Parents walking it (Deffinatly not cool. Has happned to me on several occasions)

[Tom_Bom]

I had a situation with a bigger sized woman where I couldn't find her hole, and by the time I was able to dig it out, I was about as limp as a sativa milk shake.

[BlAzInIt4:20]

umm question Tom.. just curious how long did it take you too find this hole?? I mean was she that big? crazyyy... and the puking one... oh ewww.. i would of been so embarrassed..

[cannabis campbell]

oh yeah another one of the biggest fuck ups actually definately the most common

where your dicks been hard for that long by the time its ready to be used it goes on a flop! :(

need to get some viagra lmao

[Jimbob1310]

parents walking in.......oh god....

[couch-potato]

No real funny stories about my sex follies, but I'll take the liberty to post one of my favorite stories from a man named Tucker Max:

TuckerMax.com (http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/tucker_tries_buttsex_hilarity_does_not_ensue.phtml #278)

Read it. Now.

[smoke it]

getting caught doin it at a football game in her car by a security gaurd :(

or

her dad walking in while she was blowin me :(

[J-dubb206]

The worst is definatly when your dick slips out and it gets slammed by your girl.

This guy knows the truth man

[TheAtomicPunk]

haha, two words, pussy farts.

The harder she laughs about it, the worse it gets, LOL

[tehcromex]

2 extremely horrible situations

1.) was drunk and young having sex with maybe the 2nd or 3rd girl i had sex with and we were in the shower and i lost my footing fell back cracked my head and was out cold. she called my brother to come help her get my out of the shower and make sure i was ok

2.) mom called my cell phone while my girl was riding me like she was going for the bronco riding championship. ( i cant remember why but i had to answer it i think she was out of town or something ) and she was like going on and on and on then wanted to talk to my girl so they talked while she still was riding me .. she was a loud one too so i had some deeeeeepppppppp cuts from her clawing me insted

[scream]

2 extremely horrible situations

1.) was drunk and young having sex with maybe the 2nd or 3rd girl i had sex with and we were in the shower and i lost my footing fell back cracked my head and was out cold. she called my brother to come help her get my out of the shower and make sure i was ok

2.) mom called my cell phone while my girl was riding me like she was going for the bronco riding championship. ( i cant remember why but i had to answer it i think she was out of town or something ) and she was like going on and on and on then wanted to talk to my girl so they talked while she still was riding me .. she was a loud one too so i had some deeeeeepppppppp cuts from her clawing me insted

My ex used to answer her phone when her mom would call even when we were in the middle of it, but I wouldn't stop. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie.

[vileoxidation]

My boy fell off the bed one of the first times we had sex. We were switching positions and on a smallish bed, and he put his knee down right next to the very edge and it slipped off. It was really funny, though he didn't think so at the time.

[slowlickitysplit]

Just curious what are some of your biggest fuck ups lol

the most common one (well for me anyway) (when the girls on top of man if your gay lmao) and your cock slips out and just gets crushed.. ouch lmao

Ok, I've hit allmost all those fuck ups before but here are a couple of real fuck ups...

1) Call her by the wrong name (Even worse, I called her by her sisters name!)

2) Changing positions on the beach and got sand all over my dick (End of session!)

3) Didn't use a condom and...well, he's 12 now! LOL

- Slow -

[J-dubb206]

Ok, I've hit allmost all those fuck ups before but here are a couple of real fuck ups...

1) Call her by the wrong name (Even worse, I called her by her sisters name!)

2) Changing positions on the beach and got sand all over my dick (End of session!)

3) Didn't use a condom and...well, he's 12 now! LOL

- Slow -

hahaahahaha best 2 ive seen so far

[kaj621]

my first time.. i went in too fast i guess and she screamed and it was one of the most awkward feelings that i experienced

[crazyape]

dog coming behind you and licking your balls/ass when a chicks is making you a blowjob... i completely freaked out... but when i remember that now i laught of it haha

[scream]

3) Didn't use a condom and...well, he's 12 now! LOL

- Slow -

I've seen a kid that looks like me walking around with a girl that I had sex with and the condom broke. Needless to say I avoided that conversation.

[Turtlepik]

dog coming behind you and licking your balls/ass when a chicks is making you a blowjob... i completely freaked out... but when i remember that now i laught of it haha

Lol, I thought I was alone there. Dogs have the strangest tastes...

[TallulahGreen]

... and the puking one... oh ewww.. i would of been so embarrassed..

I would have been embaressed had he not already been my boyfriend for a year and a half or so before ...hehe...we just laughed our asses off about it the next day...

Still laugh about it...hahaha....

[TallulahGreen]

My ex used to answer her phone when her mom would call even when we were in the middle of it, but I wouldn't stop. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie.

I'll admit I've done it before. . . .

[kingjustin]

I was doin my girlfriend when I was like 16 and her big ass dog came in and started humping me from behind. Then he was growlin and shit when I was trying to push him off. All I can remember is thinking " Jesus I hope I don't lose a testicle because of this".

[cannabis campbell]

LMFAO!!! ^

[darth stoner]

2) Changing positions on the beach and got sand all over my dick (End of session!)


LOL

[ex-stoner/new grower]

Well, I was in the shower once with my girl of 2 years at the time,(now ex), and I don't know what came over me but I just started peeing on her in the shower like all casual and shit about it and she was all, "What the fuck?" And I didn't really have a good reason except for telling her I just felt like peeing on her...I mean it was in the shower...but it gets worse, so later on in the night she is giving me this incredible blowjob...deepthroat and all, and right as I bust a nut, she takes it all, but then spits it on my chest like "SPLAT!" And she responds with I just felt like spitting on you. So 2 days later, she is sucking me off and as I'm about to come, I tell her to stop and I grab her head and shoot it all in her ear, I laughed pretty hard too cuz I don't know if you've ever noticed, but when you try to wash jizz off, it kinda likes to stick to the skin...especially hair and she was in there complaining she couldn't get all the jizz outta her ear.

[duckfool]

haha, two words, pussy farts.


Am I the only one who Isnt bothered by these / finds it kinda hot? :)




Well, I was in the shower once with my girl of 2 years at the time,(now ex), and I don't know what came over me but I just started peeing on her in the shower like all casual and shit about it and she was all, "What the fuck?" And I didn't really have a good reason except for telling her I just felt like peeing on her...I mean it was in the shower...but it gets worse, so later on in the night she is giving me this incredible blowjob...deepthroat and all, and right as I bust a nut, she takes it all, but then spits it on my chest like "SPLAT!" And she responds with I just felt like spitting on you. So 2 days later, she is sucking me off and as I'm about to come, I tell her to stop and I grab her head and shoot it all in her ear, I laughed pretty hard too cuz I don't know if you've ever noticed, but when you try to wash jizz off, it kinda likes to stick to the skin...especially hair and she was in there complaining she couldn't get all the jizz outta her ear.

Haha your fucked up, but hilarious.

[Goin_easy]

Its always pretty funny when your having sex on the bathroom or kitchen floor (any tile floor) and your back suctions to it making an extremely loud farting sound. Hahaha.

[headfirst]

I had a condom "fly off" my johnson and shoot across the room. Chick started laughing so hard it pretty much killed the moment.

[whisky]

haahahah i cant stop laughing toms story and the one about the sand is really funny!! im trying to think of some weird experience i had... one of those period things happened to a girl i was with once.. we were on the floor and i was playing with her and there was no lights i felt this mucus shit on my hand and though it was just normal liquid but i found it wouldnt rub off pretty disgusting... i just pretended i didnt notice anything and she told me guess what and i said what ( what could it possibly be ?? ) i tried to sound like i didnt know while she talked about it.
alot of times like 80% of the time i take too long to come.. it once got to the point after 1 hour 20 minutes in the theatre bathroom i just said fuck this my legs hurt and stopped.. girls come alot of times it feels good to have made them feel good but sucks in my part.

ummmm... the first time i was going to have sex the girl didnt want to loose her virginity and told me we could have anal sex.. so i said fine and lubed her up.. as i was about to push my cock into her it slipped because of the lube and ( i was going hard stupid me ) it rammed into her and she bled .. im really not a bad person so dont try to kill me for doing that wasnt my fault :(

i had sex in a forest several times... careful when you do it on the forest floor or even a field. theres little bits of plants those yellow things that look like wheat thingies well those are spiny and stick you your clothes.. we decided to get completely naked and put clothes on floor.. bad idea.. it hurt on the way back home i couldnt get those things out and had to put underwear and clothes on and it would keep pinching my cock ass everywere.. her too :D

if you dont have fuck ups in sex its just sex you dont remember it later .. i cant remember much lol..

i was at my girlfriends house and she has al elder sister right. she was 18 her sister is 22 or so not that big. in the morning her boyfriend and a friend came over and they live really far away like 8 hours on bus and the boyfriend went to have sex with the sister and the friend slept on the couch in the living room. we were watching tv then got really horny and started fucking infront of him ( hes asleep anyways ) but in like 5 mins he woke up and my girl went to make breakfast but i was pissed and couldnt stand it went to the kitchen pushed her up against the wall and fucked her there.. the kitchen is connected with the sisters room and her and her boy came out and saw us.. but no regrets i loved that girl so much.. i still do.. but im not with her anymore :(

[LIP]

The funniest/strangest sexual thing i did when i was 14 with my 17 year old bird. We was shagging on the top bunk of some beds, while my mate and his girl were shagging on the bottom bunk, and my mate bartlet was just watching on the floor - and the bed was shaking like mad - and someone was passing around a wooden spoon LOL - small house parties with stupid amounts of alcohol results in hilarious sex. In the end i gave up coz i just couldnt cum and my girlfriend was nearly asleep.

[Pumpkinpie]

^lol

ive only had sex once.... nothin embrassing happened :D

[sttomassmoker]

tried to fart but instead hershey squirted.

things got even better from then on

[J-dubb206]

tried to fart but instead hershey squirted.

things got even better from then on

haha thats some nasty shit man

[BabySnookums]

2 extremely horrible situations
2.) mom called my cell phone while my girl was riding me like she was going for the bronco riding championship. ( i cant remember why but i had to answer it i think she was out of town or something ) and she was like going on and on and on then wanted to talk to my girl so they talked while she still was riding me .. she was a loud one too so i had some deeeeeepppppppp cuts from her clawing me insted

lol i had somethin like that happen waaaaaaaaaay back .... can you say awkward????

[BabySnookums]

Ok, I've hit allmost all those fuck ups before but here are a couple of real fuck ups...

1) Call her by the wrong name (Even worse, I called her by her sisters name!)

2) Changing positions on the beach and got sand all over my dick (End of session!)

3) Didn't use a condom and...well, he's 12 now! LOL

- Slow -

dont feel bad...ours is gonna be 3 soon....i feel your pain man...i really do LOL

and the sand thing...OWWIE!!

[whisky]

i dont understand people that dont use condoms.. you can leave her pregnant even if you dont cum in her.. precum liquids contain small amounts of semen.. and only 1 is needed to get her pregnant..
i know i just doesnt feel the same and sucks but you have to put up with that imagine how the girl will feel to be pregnant what the fuck will she do how can she face her parents with that problem... be responsable, think of the person you are having sex with, safe is better then sorry :jointsmile:

[BongVader]

yea i get the same thing when my dick gets crushed also every once in awhile.. haha i know how that feals... like my dick will still be hard but its in so much pain just after wards when i try to stick it back in it just hurts to bad lol and then i have to take a break lol

HAHAHAHAHA, dude after that i just say fuck it and keep going!

[silkyblue]

lmfao~~~~~~~


One night hunny pie and ,I "got in on" after singing karoke at the local yocal pup...


well he enjoys to lick mois pusse pusse


I had a new pair of jeans on that eve, and ya know that tag that says inspected by like number 122 they stick to clothing in the factory

I look at him he had the inspected by 122 tag stuck to his mustache !!

I could not quit laughing !
he laughed too!


another incident
weve gotton caught by the sheriff makin out in the back seat of a 53 chevy!!!

he talked to the officer whilst I got my clothes back on!!

very nobel guy ~~ hes my love!!

;)

[illnillinois]

I had a situation with a bigger sized woman where I couldn't find her hole, and by the time I was able to dig it out, I was about as limp as a sativa milk shake.


should of rolled her in flour and aimed for the wet spots

[aries ormazd]

My boyfriend and I were having some pretty drunken sex one night...and I puked all over the both of us...
..so he took me to the shower and washed my hair and stuff...hahahah.


How cute...

[X-ecutioner]

I was having sex with this girl and we where doing it anal. when i pulled out to cum i pulled more than my dick out, and she basically shit all over the bed! it was so gross and smelled so nasty. SHe was so embarrased that i didn't hear from her for a few days, and we had just started going out. I'm SO GLAD i was wearing a condom!

[jessem98]

I was having sex with this girl and we where doing it anal. when i pulled out to cum i pulled more than my dick out, and she basically shit all over the bed! it was so gross and smelled so nasty. SHe was so embarrased that i didn't hear from her for a few days, and we had just started going out. I'm SO GLAD i was wearing a condom!

hahaha ^^ thats the best BY FAR PEOPLE!

[stinkyattic]

Last night my ex- fishing- buddy- with- benefits stopped by for some braised duck, and eh... yeah we ended up back in da sack... it's been a minute...
So my dog has not been allowed on the bed recently. When she came up to see what all the commotion was about this morning around 5, she found Donk in HER spot.
What did she do? What any hyper-territorial female mastiff with a urinary tract infection would do!!!
She got up on the bed, squatted, and PEED on him!!!
He, being the go-with-the-flow kinda guy that he is, no pun intended, finished up what he was doing and said, "Uh. Your dog- I think- just peed on me..."

Nice... everyone really wants a golden shower from a 4 legged hairy bitch with a UTI...

[JD1stTimer]

LOL, ^ that last line is hilarious!

[cwesto]

hmmm I hate that sound of skin hitting skin....just freaks me out...

R u Crazyyyyyyy..... That IS the hottest sound in the world. Gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.. I cant see how that would turn somebody off. Thats the stuff that gets me going:thumbsup: :D

Back to the topic tho. Me and the ex were in my pool, she didnt have her suit at my house so i let her use one of my lil sisters since they r about the same size. We ended up getting it on in the pool, while she kept her suit on and we worked around it. Anyways my sister came out of left feild to catch her brother f*cking his girlfriend in her swim suit LMfuckingAO

Needless to say my sis threw the suit away after it had naughty parts a' rubbin on it.

I thought it was hilarious, my sis was heated, she said i cant wear that now, and my ex was embarassed to say the least.

Thats the funniest sex story i have.

My family is very open sexually tho, so im not embarrased about too much in that sense, i think my ex was feeling a little akward tho:D

[Chaotixxx]

The dick crushing, ass juice flowing, and going limp are the worst ones.