room mate won't stop jacking off. HELP!

[wutang123456]

so, i am in the last week of the seccond semester of my freshman year. I've lived with a weird dude all year, and i've known that hes chronic masturbator since about october. Thats cool if he does it, i can deal with the smell (he doesn't really wash his sheets) as long as i'm not in the room its cool.

my problem is, recently, everytime i'm not in the room he j's it. I've walked in on him multiple times everyday. What do i do? theres only 11 days left until we peace out for summer, and i'm not living with the dude next semester. I don't sexile him, ever, if i'm with a girl he either voluntarily leaves or if we go somewhere else. appart from being messy, i really have tried to be the best roomate ever.

so, i've started to get high infront of him (which he hates). i guess were even

[russ-bob]

Get him a GF and all your troubles will be solved.

[Samwhore]

Next time he jacks off give him some lube with super glue in it. He WILL stop.

[originalblu]

so, i've started to get high infront of him (which he hates). i guess were even

tell him getting high makes masturbating feel better(probly wont fix your problem)

[thecreator]

Yea or set up a web cam.....I know its mean but I doubt he would continue and if he does sell the site:thumbsup: Good luck and you have yourself a drinking story for many years to come..

[MeGustaMota]

Give him some icy hot.

[dankkeeper]

Tell him how gay it is to be wackin so much with you around and maybe he'll get self concious about it. Seriously tho thats pretty sick to be sleeping in sheets like that.

[420MissHighTimes420]

The name of this thread made me LOL.
Just tell him to STOP!

[Frivolous248]

Next time you walk in on him, just run up and slap him in the face. Then run away giggling.

It'll be funny.

[dankkeeper]

Next time you walk in on him, just run up and slap him in the face. Then run away giggling.

On second thought, give him a taste of his own medicine.

wack - wack - wack - SPIDERMAN! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spider+man&defid=1228335) :pimp:

[make it legal]

whats it mean to j it?

[Ifrit369]

Smoke weed outside his room and blow the smoke under the door when he's wanking.

He'll get the idea eventually.

[dankkeeper]

jack off?

[orangeman]

Umm...why the fuck does he masturbate all the time? Is that really a condition...chronic masturbation lol? I think you should ask him what was he doing during most of his child hood lol..

[thcbongman]

Tell him to go to the bathroom.

hahahahaha to the thread.

[evan5502]

next time you walk in on him ask him if its alright if u join in on the fun, maybe he might get the point its gross to be around someone jerking off

[thcbongman]

lol

Scream "Stop 'Bating!" Like in Idiocracy.

[Greenport]

ur friends fuckin weird to do it and not wash his sheets..

[Little Boy]

Give him some icy hot.

Memories : )

[GreenLadyOfDankDowns]

I had a room mate like this once. I finally got fed up with his antics and snapped a picture of him the next time I walked in to see him naked, jacking off while sitting on my couch. Without a damn towel! (shudders) When he realized I had just taken a picture of what he was doing he freaked out. I told him that if I walked into the house and he was doing that outside of his bed room or the bath room again, I would print a copy of the picture and mail it to his mother. He never did it again.

[memoryburner]

heres what you do....next time you walk in on him, have a towel ready, and just start snapping him with it...or shoot him with a pellet(or)paintball gun

[JamaicanHerbMan]

Next time he jacks off give him some lube with super glue in it. He WILL stop.

LOL that would be pretty funny......real life american pie. Tell the dude to find a sperm bank ....hahaha i'm sure he'll like the idea of getting paid while doing his favourite thing. Hey and plus you wont have to worry about wallin in on him ......which i might add is totally gross and worst the whole sheet thing darn you got some balls. Oh you know what on second thought buy him a blow-up doll for the fun of it as a going away present .....:D i'd love to see his reaction to that.

[Cannaman1ac]

lol i read the title and STILL clicked on the thread

[wutang123456]

update:

i brought a lady to the room earlier, and sure enough, he was jerking off.

he hasn't done it again yet today

[djm187]

LMFAO!! I feel you man... I kinda had the same prob in collage, my friend would wack off everytime his talking to a girl on the phone, he didn't care who was in the room, he just wacked away infront of everyone... Shit was hilarious!!

[rebgirl420]

awwwkwarddddd

[Markass]

update:

i brought a lady to the room earlier, and sure enough, he was jerking off.

he hasn't done it again yet today

lol, I'd put icy hot in his lotion bottle, then record him squealing...then play it back every time you catch him beating his meat :thumbsup: he should go into the bathroom for that shit

[halfassedjediknight]

tell him to shave his palms!

[homestar]

Find his porn vids on his computer and splice in random gay porn, with any luck he'll be shooting his load just as the screen changes to a dude doing another dude up the butt.................

[Cannaman1ac]

lol nah i think the walking in and taking a pic would be the easiest and the most effective..ud have that on him for the rest of his life..just make copies before u give him back "the only one" and u can do anything u want

[stinkyattic]

sounds like something to post on collegehumor.com
too funny

[napolitana869]

hey be careful with smoking around him. If you do something that really embarrasses him he might tell your RA or what ever you may have at your school (if you live on campus). You may make people laugh at him, but he could get you kicked out of school. Just be careful

[Cannaman1ac]

lol i dunno if id go THAT far but theres all kinds of ways

now that u mention it, please dont put that on collegehumor- that is the last thing i want to see

[Nightcrewman]

If the situation is getting out of hand (no pun intended) then wait till he is asleep and cut his dick off, I reckon that will stop him.

Cheers NCM

[cannabis=freedom]

I don't really see it as a big deal, but then again my cousin used to masturbate under a blanket with me in the room, and I'd just shrug and read my book or whatever.

[Canadien.]

tell him getting high makes masturbating feel better(probly wont fix your problem)

Nah man, just gunna turn out having a cummy ass bong.

[orange floyd]

so what happened? did he quit beatin off?

[Pipe Dreams]

I don't really see it as a big deal, but then again my cousin used to masturbate under a blanket with me in the room, and I'd just shrug and read my book or whatever.


Yeah but what his dick hangin out n shit to where you could see it?

[Tokingirl]

hahaha put superglue on his sheets just before he gets in bed then he won't be able to move to jack off lol
Had to comment so funny.
Good luck.

[Bong ripper420]

take a picture and tell him if he does it again u'll make a copy and post it everywhere and give a copy of it 2 all the girls on your floor

[dankman]

damn this is probably the funniest thread i have ever read i say u should do the picture idea or just have a girl walk in there when you know hes doing it, i dont understand why he couldnt just go to the bathroom

[RedRainDrop]

Yeah, i had ajck fest yesterday.... i just couldint stop wanking it! i must have jerked about 20 times!

I havent at all today.... and dont even have an urge to (i tapped my balls dryyesterday, lol)

[Gurtej15]

Next time he jacks off give him some lube with super glue in it. He WILL stop.

HAHAHAHA thats jokes :D

[logie_boy]

honestly if that was me in your shoes, (this may be disgusting)

but...

wank off a few times and store all you cum in a bottle or something for like a couple of days (without him knowing of course) if this is mess then buy your self a few condoms and indulge is some posh wanks (with the condom on) so i doesnt go every where, then when he's not there soak his toothbrush in it then rub it on rims of cups he uses and bottle, end of pens or what ever, just as long as you know it will go in his mouth, hahahahahahaha!

do it on the last day or something so you can get away with is dude, lemme know how you get on ;)

[Lido]

are you in prison?

[spliffstar22]

^^^^LMFAO, for real, are you? lol, Tell him to go out and get a girl, shit, you're in college, im sure even if he's a complete fuckin weirdo there's a weirdo girl for him on campus lol, this thread just made my day lol, and it's only 1O3O in the fuckin mornin, and i didnt even burn my mornin spliff yet lol, i would for real slap the shit outta my roomate if that happened, tell him to get a girl, or get in the fuckin bathroom........

[Nation_1ne]

Sounds to me like he has some issues in his life, or he could literally be addicted to masturbation. I suggest you just let him get on with it until you finish up, or speak to him about it. I don't think there are any need for pranks here, and definitely no need to humiliate him.