Skwirl07
04-02-2007, 03:17 AM
So yeah, I had one of the worst experiences this weekend and I could really use some advice.. feedback..opinions..sympathy.. ridicule? Just whatever.
Okay so I've been smoking for just over a year now. I started last year smoking every so often and gradually have increased my habit. I now smoke two-three times per week but have recently been smoking every day. I'm a senior in high school and have just been trying to have a good time with my friends in these last few months of school and I have already been accepted into my first choice university so I feel I have earned this right. I am in the top of my class and I do not feel smoking has significantly affected my school work, however, I cannot truly know this because I am not applying myself as I did when it mattered during my freshman, sophomore, and junior years.
Anywayyy I live with my mom and she recently found a bag of dutch guts and some empty dime bags in my room while "looking for a belt for my uncle." Okay, so she flipped and I lied and told her that I hardly ever smoke and that what she found was left over from the summer and that I had completely forgotten it was there. She was upset but I think she bought it. She gave me one of those "I'm not mad I'm just really disappointed and I did not think this was who you were." Then she brought up my family's history with drug addictions and such, which was pretty valid but does not change my decision to smoke weed. Not gonna lie the whole conversation really hurt, but things went back to normal for a while and I continued to smoke...
This past saturday afternoon is where things got bad. I had a roach left over from the night before and decided to smoke it out my window before trashin it. So yea as you can guess, my mom walked in on me with roach in hand and there was nothing I could do. She immediately broke down crying and really ripped me. I have never in my life made my mother cry and I just can't believe it. We had the same conversation as the first time except this time she was crying hysterically the entire time and she wasn't understanding she was just pissedddd..
Basically, I feel like complete shit and I think I permanently changed our relationship. I just don't know what to do and as selfish as this sounds I'm going to continue to smoke, I am just gonna be way more careful. I feel like there's nothing I can do to make this up to her and I really am just miserable and ironically all I wanna do is toke..
Additionally, she said she's gonna be more on top of me now, which I'm a little afriad of. My mom is cool for the most part and doesn't punish me or have any rules or curfew or anything like that for me. She asks for the very basic details of any plans I have and never calls me while I'm out. Ideal situation for a stoner. But yea now she's all about my grades and stuff which were excellent prior to my senior year and now are just enough to keep Bs. She is associating my smoking with my senioritis grades and that pisses me off. The day I was caught with the roach I went out that night to a friend's birthday party and she called and asked me where I was and when I was coming home, literally for the first time in my life. While I was actually at my friend's house and not smoking or anything this still doesn't seem to be a good sign. Everytime I go out to smoke I lie about where I'll be. Her calling me kinda makes me feel like I won't get away with this anymore. I think it's gonna be difficult for me to come home high during the day when she's home now cause it will seem sketchy if I go straight into my room like I always have before.
I dunno why I'm writing all this and if you have read through I truly appreciate that. I could go on and on but I think I have explained the situation well enough for now. If you care enough to respond I would be grateful with any response my story provokes and possibly any advice you may have.
Thank you all and stay high AND safe. :rasta:
Okay so I've been smoking for just over a year now. I started last year smoking every so often and gradually have increased my habit. I now smoke two-three times per week but have recently been smoking every day. I'm a senior in high school and have just been trying to have a good time with my friends in these last few months of school and I have already been accepted into my first choice university so I feel I have earned this right. I am in the top of my class and I do not feel smoking has significantly affected my school work, however, I cannot truly know this because I am not applying myself as I did when it mattered during my freshman, sophomore, and junior years.
Anywayyy I live with my mom and she recently found a bag of dutch guts and some empty dime bags in my room while "looking for a belt for my uncle." Okay, so she flipped and I lied and told her that I hardly ever smoke and that what she found was left over from the summer and that I had completely forgotten it was there. She was upset but I think she bought it. She gave me one of those "I'm not mad I'm just really disappointed and I did not think this was who you were." Then she brought up my family's history with drug addictions and such, which was pretty valid but does not change my decision to smoke weed. Not gonna lie the whole conversation really hurt, but things went back to normal for a while and I continued to smoke...
This past saturday afternoon is where things got bad. I had a roach left over from the night before and decided to smoke it out my window before trashin it. So yea as you can guess, my mom walked in on me with roach in hand and there was nothing I could do. She immediately broke down crying and really ripped me. I have never in my life made my mother cry and I just can't believe it. We had the same conversation as the first time except this time she was crying hysterically the entire time and she wasn't understanding she was just pissedddd..
Basically, I feel like complete shit and I think I permanently changed our relationship. I just don't know what to do and as selfish as this sounds I'm going to continue to smoke, I am just gonna be way more careful. I feel like there's nothing I can do to make this up to her and I really am just miserable and ironically all I wanna do is toke..
Additionally, she said she's gonna be more on top of me now, which I'm a little afriad of. My mom is cool for the most part and doesn't punish me or have any rules or curfew or anything like that for me. She asks for the very basic details of any plans I have and never calls me while I'm out. Ideal situation for a stoner. But yea now she's all about my grades and stuff which were excellent prior to my senior year and now are just enough to keep Bs. She is associating my smoking with my senioritis grades and that pisses me off. The day I was caught with the roach I went out that night to a friend's birthday party and she called and asked me where I was and when I was coming home, literally for the first time in my life. While I was actually at my friend's house and not smoking or anything this still doesn't seem to be a good sign. Everytime I go out to smoke I lie about where I'll be. Her calling me kinda makes me feel like I won't get away with this anymore. I think it's gonna be difficult for me to come home high during the day when she's home now cause it will seem sketchy if I go straight into my room like I always have before.
I dunno why I'm writing all this and if you have read through I truly appreciate that. I could go on and on but I think I have explained the situation well enough for now. If you care enough to respond I would be grateful with any response my story provokes and possibly any advice you may have.
Thank you all and stay high AND safe. :rasta: