Billy
03-31-2007, 11:54 PM
Hiya people...
Recently I've been smoking excessively, as in daily, sometimes just taking complete days out of my life to just smoke all day long (though not that often). Anyway, I look at my life now, and I look at my life back when I wasn't smoking so much, and I'm thinkin geez, something needs to be changed. Back then I (felt that I) was intelligent but now i (feel that I) am more stupid. Also, I seem to be less sociable - not because I don't want to be sociable, but sometimes I just can't be assed talking to people because I just feel that I've run out of things to say to them. I seem to get pretty bored by the people I live with now, and just can't be bothered to chat.
My studies seem to have gone down hill, and I can't see my grades improving anytime soon whilst I'm still smoking. I'm at university... In my first semester I obtained 4 A's, 3 of which were high scoring. This semester, I feel... i know that I'm lagging behind and I have to do something about it now as there's only 1 month until the exams and I've got to learn, not revise, but learn everything we've done. Whilst smoking so much this semester I seem to have gone to lectures and just sat there and floating off in my own little dream world and barely anything has sunk into my brain (though on the upside, I some how pulled off a 2000 word essay which we had a month to do the night before the due date and got 70%).
Because of all that, I feel that my life is going to waste.. I'm losing all ambition and motivation to study; and believe it or not, some of my intelligence came back to me today and told me to stop chongin dope for a while, until after my exams - towards the end of May. In my opinion, cannabis is mentally addictive - I'm not saying I'm going to get withdrawal symptons and go crazy robbing shit from people. I'm saying that I'll often be wanting to smoke it and I'll push myself to go and buy it if I have the money. So I'm going to take a break! However, there is a slight dilemma. I've got a some 1.5 grams of skunk here and I always find it very difficult to keep weed and not smoke it. BUT I've decided I'm not going to smoke it. I'm going to push myself, keep the temptation near me and refrain myself from having it. I'm going to get myself back on to a good path in my studies and stop fucking about.
I was just wondering, do any of you guys think that sometimes? Do you feel weed is takin over your life sometimes? Don't you ever sit there and think, fuck, all those hours, wasted, doing shit all but staring at a TV (or wall) for hours on end doing absolutely nothing constructive - like for example, learn something new? Or go out and meet new people?
And people, don't tell me you can all get high and study... A lot of stoners can't, it's just not possible for me to concentrate on something like that whilst stoned.
Also, the burnt out feelin? Whats the crack with that.. smoking constantly, don't you feel absolutely exhausted and worn out, like, just absolutely shattered and you'd rather go to sleep but it's not late enough, but you're not able to function properly because of constant stonage throughout the day. Anyway, once again, I'm getting distracted by other shit so I can't carry this on, though I know it's already pretty long... Oh, and I'm pretty stoned so excuse me if it doesn't make much sense or is in a bad order.. I've just been to a wedding anniversary and got caned with the couples son :) but that's a whole other story. Anyway, that's me done n out, sorry if it's super long, and sorry if I already apologized for that earlier, enjoy toking!
Recently I've been smoking excessively, as in daily, sometimes just taking complete days out of my life to just smoke all day long (though not that often). Anyway, I look at my life now, and I look at my life back when I wasn't smoking so much, and I'm thinkin geez, something needs to be changed. Back then I (felt that I) was intelligent but now i (feel that I) am more stupid. Also, I seem to be less sociable - not because I don't want to be sociable, but sometimes I just can't be assed talking to people because I just feel that I've run out of things to say to them. I seem to get pretty bored by the people I live with now, and just can't be bothered to chat.
My studies seem to have gone down hill, and I can't see my grades improving anytime soon whilst I'm still smoking. I'm at university... In my first semester I obtained 4 A's, 3 of which were high scoring. This semester, I feel... i know that I'm lagging behind and I have to do something about it now as there's only 1 month until the exams and I've got to learn, not revise, but learn everything we've done. Whilst smoking so much this semester I seem to have gone to lectures and just sat there and floating off in my own little dream world and barely anything has sunk into my brain (though on the upside, I some how pulled off a 2000 word essay which we had a month to do the night before the due date and got 70%).
Because of all that, I feel that my life is going to waste.. I'm losing all ambition and motivation to study; and believe it or not, some of my intelligence came back to me today and told me to stop chongin dope for a while, until after my exams - towards the end of May. In my opinion, cannabis is mentally addictive - I'm not saying I'm going to get withdrawal symptons and go crazy robbing shit from people. I'm saying that I'll often be wanting to smoke it and I'll push myself to go and buy it if I have the money. So I'm going to take a break! However, there is a slight dilemma. I've got a some 1.5 grams of skunk here and I always find it very difficult to keep weed and not smoke it. BUT I've decided I'm not going to smoke it. I'm going to push myself, keep the temptation near me and refrain myself from having it. I'm going to get myself back on to a good path in my studies and stop fucking about.
I was just wondering, do any of you guys think that sometimes? Do you feel weed is takin over your life sometimes? Don't you ever sit there and think, fuck, all those hours, wasted, doing shit all but staring at a TV (or wall) for hours on end doing absolutely nothing constructive - like for example, learn something new? Or go out and meet new people?
And people, don't tell me you can all get high and study... A lot of stoners can't, it's just not possible for me to concentrate on something like that whilst stoned.
Also, the burnt out feelin? Whats the crack with that.. smoking constantly, don't you feel absolutely exhausted and worn out, like, just absolutely shattered and you'd rather go to sleep but it's not late enough, but you're not able to function properly because of constant stonage throughout the day. Anyway, once again, I'm getting distracted by other shit so I can't carry this on, though I know it's already pretty long... Oh, and I'm pretty stoned so excuse me if it doesn't make much sense or is in a bad order.. I've just been to a wedding anniversary and got caned with the couples son :) but that's a whole other story. Anyway, that's me done n out, sorry if it's super long, and sorry if I already apologized for that earlier, enjoy toking!